“This is going to sound like the shittiest thing I’ve ever said in my entire life, but I kind of need you to leave.”
My shoulders slump before I can catch them.
He dips down to meet my gaze. “I mean no offense by that. Quite the opposite. You see, I’m extremely turned on right now, and my daughter is in the other room. I can’t let anything else happen tonight, but I really, really want it to. So, I’m being proactive. You have no idea how sorry I am.”
“Oh, you thought I was going to just rip my clothes off and sleep with you? Shame on you, Hudson. I’m not that kind of girl.” I feign offense because that’s all I can muster now. My heart is beating wildly and I want nothing more than to do just what I said.
Then I lean in closer to him, getting right up next to his ear. “Or am I?” I whisper.
He shudders. I laugh and push him away, hopping down off the counter.
“I’ll see myself out,” I say with a smirk, walking out of the kitchen and leaving Hudson lightly banging his head against his kitchen cabinet, muttering to himself.
That night, I sleep fitfully—and not from my nightmare.
19
Hudson
“You’re saying she just showed up unannounced and Joey was there? Just, ‘BAM! Here’s my seven-year-old daughter. Surprise!’ and that was it?” Tucker asks, disbelief lacing his voice.
“Yep,” I say, popping my P for emphasis.
“Damn.” He whistles, leaning back into the recliner in my mom’s living room.
Gaige, Tucker, and I are all waiting for my mom to get back from the store with Joey so we can get started on movie night. They are bound to walk in the door any moment, and so is Rae.
“That’s rough, Hudson. How’d it go?” Gaige asks from beside me.
“It…went. She was a little pissed at first. Then she was unexpectedly okay with it.”
“Like really okay? Or just ‘woman’ okay?” Tuckers questions.
“Really okay,” I answer. He gives me a look, basically telling me he calls bullshit on that. I shake my head. “No, man, I mean it. She was fine. A little upset at first, but then okay. I don’t know what changed, but she just stopped being mad. I think I may have Joey to thank for that. Kid is a miracle worker.”
“Anyone in their right mind would fall in love with her. She’s impossible to resist.”
I nod at Gaige’s explanation. “I know. I’m totally fucked for when she’s older. I give in to her now over everything. It can only get worse from here.”
Tucker snorts. “Wimp.”
“Oh, like you don’t do the exact same, Uncle Tuck?” He shakes his head. “Bullshit. You’re so wrapped around her little finger it isn’t even funny.”
“Whatever,” he mumbles. “Does she know about Jess?”
“Kind of? I mean she knows she’s Joey’s mother and she’s not in the picture, but that’s about it. We didn’t go into detail about it. The subject kind of dropped after I brought up Perry.”
“Oh, yeah? Family?” Gaige questions.
“Exes?” Tucker throws out.
I look back and forth between the two of them, purely for dramatic effect, because at this point they’re both literally sitting on the edges of their seats.
“Cousins,” I finally say.
“NAILED IT!” Gaige shouts. “Pay up, asshole!” he says to Tucker, who is already digging in his wallet. He slips Gaige a twenty.
“You two had a fucking bet over that shit? Assholes,” I say with a headshake.
“Yoohoo! We’re home!” my mom calls, opening the front door.
Gaige is the first to his feet to help her carry stuff in—or get a hug from Joey. I’m not sure which.
“Uncle G!” Joey squeals. I assume Gaige picked her up and is swinging her around. It’s kind of their thing.
“My little bug! How are you, kiddo? Being bad and eating lots of sugar, I hope.”
I hear Joey giggle. “Noooo. I’ve been extra, extra good.”
“Well good. I was afraid I’d have to tickle you all night for being bad.”
“That’s no punishment. I like your tickles.”
“You’re terrible at keeping secrets, dorko,” Gaige teases.
I smile at their exchange. Gaige is a natural with kids, but he kind of has to be. He has four siblings at home he takes care of so he’s had a lot of practice with them.
“Is Uncle Tuck here, too?”
“I’m in here, dude!” Tucker calls to her.
I listen as her feet hit the floor and she comes running down the hall, barely skidding to a stop before I can see her. Little shit. She tiptoes casually into the living room, almost making it all the way to Tucker, going slowly before she runs at the last moment, launching herself into his arms.
“Uncle Tuck, did you bring me anything?”
“Joey!” I scold. “It’s not polite to ask things like that.”
“Sorry,” she mumbles.
“It’s okay, Joe. I brought you this,” Tucker says, reaching into his pocket. He pulls out a small porcelain ladybug painted a bright green and hands it gently to her.
It’s something so tiny and simple, but she loves it. He brings her a different “bug” every time he sees her. It’s their thing. It’s also the reason we call her bug. She’s sort of had a fascination with ladybugs since she was four.
“Cool! This one is the best yet!”
“What, no hug? No ‘thank you’?” Tucker teases her.
She throws her little arms around his neck and squeezes him tight. “Thank you so much, Uncle Tuck.”
I watch with a smile on my face as Tucker closes his eyes and hugs my little girl right back with just as much ferocity. It tugs at my heart.
I love that my best friends love my daughter like their own. I love that they accept her and her weirdness. I love that they accept me and my dad status, even though it’s a game-killer sometimes for two single dudes.
I catch Tucker’s eyes as he opens them back up. I see you, I mouth.
I see you, too, he mouths back.
“Don’t worry, assholes, I helped Ma out,” Gaige announces as he walks back to the living room.
“Seventy-five cents, Uncle G!”
“Seventy-five! I thought it was fifty?” Gaige argues with Joey, but still digs in his pockets for a dollar and holds it out to her.
“Inflation,” Joey says with a shrug, taking the dollar and running out of the room to put her money away.
Tucker and I laugh. Gaige just stares after her.
“Dude, what kind of kid are you raising?” he asks, sounding awestruck.
I shrug. “A smart one.”
“Touché.”
The doorbell chimes and I freeze.
Rae is here. Rae. Is. Here.
“Breathe, man. The worst that can happen is she falls in love with me,” Tucker says.
“Asshole,” I mutter with a smile. I get up and head to the front door, only to discover my mother standing in the doorway.
“Rae, it’s so great to finally meet you. I’ve heard wonderful things from both Hudson and Joey. Please, come in,” my mother tells her, stepping aside to let her walk in.
The air leaves my lungs because holy hell is she gorgeous…and all she’s wearing is a damn t-shirt and jeans.
I think I just fell in love with everything else about her.
“Thank you for allowing me to crash your movie night, Mrs. Tamell. I didn’t know what to bring so I grabbed some M&Ms,” Rae says, holding out a huge bag of the chocolate candies.
“Oh, you didn’t have to do that, darling, but thank you. They won’t go uneaten, that’s for sure. And please, call me Eleanor. Actually, that’s way too formal. Call me Elle,” my mother tells her, taking the bag of candy. “I’ll go put these with the other snacks. Make yourself at home, please.”
As my mom walks by me, she fist-bumps me because she’s that cool.
“Did she just…” Rae starts.
I stuff my hands in my back poc
ket and lift a shoulder. “Yeah, she’s cool like that.”
We laugh lightly, still standing about five feet apart. All I want to do is walk over there and kiss her, because what I had of her last night was not enough. But, I don’t know how appropriate that would be in my mother’s house with Joey right around the corner.
Rae licks her lips subconsciously. I watch with want, every cell in my body tingling, itching to grab hold of her and never let go.
I give in.
“Oh, fuck it. Come here,” I practically growl, stalking closer to her. I pull her into me, push my hands into her soft brown hair, and possess her mouth with mine.
I kiss her hard but briefly.
“Wow,” she says once I pull away. “Hello to you too.”
“Hi,” I whisper.
“Hi,” she repeats on a small giggle. “Oh, shit.” Her hand covers her mouth, her brows furrowing. “What have you done to me? I haven’t giggled since I was a kid.”
I feel the corners of my lips tip up. “I have that effect,” I say with false confidence, because honestly, I have no fucking clue.
“I…I kind of like it,” she confesses.
“Me too.”
“You two just gonna make out in the hallway or actually come socialize with everyone?” Tucker asks from behind me.
“Tucker,” Rae says, stepping away from me. “Did you miss me that much?”
“Oh, of course. You’re all I’ve been thinking about.” He winks. “But only because this asshole”—he points to me—“won’t stop talking about you. Ever. Actually, I kind of find you annoying now.”
She just laughs. “And by annoying you mean more attractive. I get it, Tuck, but I’m kind of taken. Sorry, dude,” Rae says, walking past Tucker and giving him a small pat on the arm.
The look on Tucker’s face is priceless as he watches her walk away into the house like she’s lived here all her life.
“Dude,” he says, turning back to me. Now his face is serious. “Marry her. Please.”
I laugh and shake my head. “I would if I could, man. I would if I could.”
20
Rae
“Did you need any help, Elle?”
Hudson’s mother is bouncing back and forth around the kitchen, wearing the most Stepford Wives apron I’ve ever seen. She resembles Hudson in the face, but it’s very clear he must take after his father the most. Elle’s hair is a lot lighter than his, and her eyes are a bright green. I guess that’s where he got his weird combo.
“Oh no, dear. You sit. You’re a guest,” she says, pulling out a barstool for me. I take the seat. “Tell me about yourself, Rae.”
I smother a laugh, thinking back to when I said the exact same thing to Hudson.
“Well, I graduated college back in June. Right now, I’m working at Clyde’s as a waitress and occasional bartender. Other than that, I’m working on finding a job in the city for marketing.”
“Marketing, huh? Hudson told me about you helping the shop. He said he’s already had a few hits off the ads and new website. Thank you for that. That little shop means the world to him.”
“I can tell. His face lights up when he talks about it, almost as much as it does when he talks about Joey.”
The corners of Elle’s mouth dip down and her eyes shift around the room. She must like what she sees—or rather doesn’t see. She clears her throat, turning her gaze back on me.
“How do you feel about that, Rae? About Joey?” she asks in a low voice.
Rae Kamden, meet Mama Bear Elle. She looks tough. Smile through it girl, you’ve got this.
“Honestly, Elle? I don’t think kids are really my thing.” Her shoulders tense just as Hudson’s did last night. I continue, “But that stems from my own personal demons, I think. I’m smart enough to separate the two, or at least I hope I am. I like Joey and I like Hudson—a lot. I’m willing to try anything when it comes to him. So, I’m going to give it a go and do my best. I can’t say I won’t mess up with Joey, or with Hudson, but I’ll try my hardest not to.”
Elle nods, thinking over everything I just said. “I admire your honesty, Rae, and I appreciate that you’re willing to try. I know it can’t be easy for you to do all this, especially since I just found out this morning that my son sprung this on you last night. Not his best move, honestly,” she says, a small smile playing at her lips. It’s eerily similar to Hudson’s. “Thank you for taking a chance on them, and for understanding him. Just, please, if you feel it getting to be too much, get out before everyone gets hurt. It will be easier in the long run.”
I nod my head in agreement because it really is only fair to everyone. “I promise.”
She gives me a full smile this time. “Great. Let’s go get this movie night started then. I’ll grab the pizzas that are warming in the oven if you want to grab the drinks.”
I do as she asks, also grabbing some napkins and paper plates. We walk into the living room to find Tucker, Gaige, Hudson, and Joey all having a silent contest of some sort.
“You boys hungry?” Elle asks, setting down the pizzas. Joey animatedly motions to herself. “Sorry, sorry. Are you boys and Joey hungry?”
They all nod.
“Who’s winning?” I ask while handing out the plates and napkins.
“I am!” Joey says proudly. The guys laugh and she groans, realizing she just spoke. “Aw man.”
“You owe us each twenty-five cents. Pay up, sucker,” Gaige says.
“Puh-lease,” I say, rolling my eyes. “Joey, you may as well keep those quarters. I’m sure these boys will be owing you by the end of the night.”
Joey sticks her tongue out at Gaige.
“Okay, before we all start this excellent and well-deserved movie night by watching…” Hudson starts, turning to Joey for an answer.
“Monsters, Inc.!”
“Nice one, kiddo.” She beams. “Before the feature presentation of Monsters, Inc., I have an announcement.” He pauses dramatically and turns to his daughter with a huge grin. “Joey, how would you like to move out of Nana’s and live with me in our own home?”
Joey jumps off the couch excitedly. “Finally!” she shouts and then turns to Elle. “No offends, Nana, but I miss my daddy and Rocky so much!”
Elle barely manages to smother a laugh at Joey’s incorrect use of ‘offense’.
“No offense taken, baby girl.”
“How about I let you and Nana decorate next weekend? You’ll still have to spend next Sunday and possibly Monday night here, and we have to get your school bus schedule figured out Monday morning when the address change goes through.”
“YES!” she yells, punching the air. “Woo to the hoo! Thank you, Daddy!” She launches herself into his arms and he hugs her tightly, soaking in her happiness.
They look so happy together, so ready for this next step. It makes my heart swell.
He looks at Tucker and Gaige, who are sitting on the loveseat. “You two are going to help me move in what little I have on Saturday. We’ll say you were at work so you’ll get paid for it.”
“Sweet, dude. Thanks,” Gaige says.
“How do you know I didn’t already have plans?” Tucker fusses.
Hudson glares at him. “Simple. You cancel them.”
I catch Tucker mouth asshole to him. I know that if Joey weren’t all wrapped up in her daddy’s arms right now, she’d have caught it too.
“Okay, movie time!” Elle announces, turning the TV on.
We all grab a few slices of pizza and get comfy. Elle takes the recliner and Gaige and Tucker remain on the loveseat, leaving Hudson and me on the couch with Joey between us.
We’re about halfway through the movie when I feel the first touch. Hudson has his arm stretched across the back of the couch, gently twirling my hair around his fingers. It feels so soothing, so natural.
I check my peripheral to find him watching me. He must see me do it because he chuckles softly. Joey shushes him. She means serious business when she watches movies. The
re’s to be no talking and hardly any moving. It’s comical to watch three grown men try to sit still for an hour and a half and get scolded by a seven-year-old when they can’t. We had to pause the movie three times so she could tell Tucker to stop talking. We all wisely kept our laughter to ourselves.
Joey only allows for a short break to grab drinks, desserts, and use the bathroom. Then we’re back to movie-watching. This time around it’s Monsters University.
“Can I sit on your lap, Rae?” Joey asks sweetly right before the opening credits begin.
I nod, not even thinking on it for single second, which is unusual for me.
Joey climbs up on my lap and makes herself comfortable, wrapping a blanket around her. I look to Hudson because I can feel his gaze on me. The look in his eyes makes my chest heavy because it’s so full of love. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want that look to be directed at me too. He scoots closer to us and slowly wraps his hand around mine.
It’s the last thing I remember before falling into a peaceful sleep.
“They look so content,” I barely hear Elle say. I have no idea who she’s talking to because my eyes are still closed.
I feel something heavy on my lap shift around. It takes me a few seconds to remember it’s Joey; we must have fallen asleep during the movie.
I’m about to open my eyes when I hear Hudson speak. “Ma, this isn’t good,” he says, worry filling his voice.
I do the most asshole thing I’ve ever done in my entire life: I pretend to keep sleeping because I can tell that whatever he’s about to say next is big.
“You’re in love,” Elle states, the shock in her voice clear. “How? You two haven’t been together long at all. Are you sure?”
If I’ve learned anything about Hudson over the past few weeks, it’s that he likes eye contact. So, I assume he pierces his mother with his beautiful blue-green gaze, because I can hear her sharp intake of breath.
“Holy shit, Hudson,” she breathes out.
Holy shit is right! If I didn’t have Joey on my lap right now, I’d be jumping for joy—or running out the door. Maybe.
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