How in the world is it possible to fall in love this fast?
“When you know, you know. Isn’t that what you used to always say to me?” She must nod. “I know, Ma. I’m sure of it. It feels soon, but it also feels right. Right trumps soon.”
“Damn,” Elle says softly.
Tucker and Gaige must be gone, because I don’t hear them chime in at all.
Joey shifts. “I heard that, Nana. Seventy-five cents,” she says, her throat scratchy from sleep. She pokes me in the forehead. “She got ninjas in her head again, Daddy?”
I decide it’s time to “wake up” now. I shift and open my eyes slowly, scrunching my eyebrows. “You poke hard.”
“You looked dead again,” Joey reasons.
Instinct apparently kicks in and I tickle her. Her laughter makes my heart sing, and it brings me a joy I never knew I was missing—never knew I wanted. I laugh with her because it’s impossible not to.
“I was sleeping, silly,” I tell her through our giggles.
She gets smart enough to try to tickle me back. She succeeds. We’re both now rolling around the couch, barely breathing from laughing so hard.
“Okay, okay. I give, I give,” I gasp out.
She stops immediately and bounces off the couch. She stands in front of me and crosses her arms over her chest, giving me a smug grin. “That’s what I thought. I win.”
I look to Elle and Hudson for help. They both just laugh.
“All right, girls. As much as I hate to break up your bonding, it’s bedtime. You have school tomorrow, bug.”
“Ugh,” she groans. “I HATE school!”
“You little fibber. School is your ‘most favoritest thing in the whole wide world ever’ as I recall,” Hudson tells her, now in his “dad stance”.
“Fine,” she drags out. “Only if Rae will tuck me in, though. I like her more than you right now because she’s not making me go to school.”
I smother a laugh. Hudson glares at me.
“You turned my kid against me? That’s messed up, Rae,” he says, slowly approaching me. “You know what happens when that happens, don’t you?” He has that stupid smirk on his face again.
I burrow myself into the couch as far as I can go, but it’s no use. His hands are on my sides in an instant and he recruits Joey for help.
“White flag! White flag!” I yell. “Elle, your son is a monster!”
“You’re on your own with those two. I’m going to bed. Night, Joey. Night, Hudson. Make sure you clean up after your weirdo friends. Great meeting you, Rae.” And she’s gone.
“That’s so messed up, Rae. You tried to turn my own mother against me too. That didn’t help your case at all,” Hudson threatens, tickling me even more.
“Please,” I gasp, barely able to breathe through my laughter. “Plea—”
Hudson backs off and Joey follows his lead.
“You good?” he says, extending his hand to help me sit up.
I manage a nod. “Holy wow. You’re good at that.”
He points to Joey. “I’ve had a few years of practice. Speaking of…scoot, kiddo. We still have to tuck you in.”
Joey lets out another sigh and trudges upstairs. I stand and start picking up our trash and cups.
“You don’t have to do that. I can take care of it.”
I shrug. “It’s no big deal.” I hand him an empty cup. “Here, you can help.”
“Slave driver,” he mumbles. I throw a napkin at him. “Rude, too.”
I huff. “Whatever, you crybaby. Keep it up, I’ll turn this whole family and your friends against you with my wicked ways,” I say, waggling my eyebrows.
“Evil woman,” he teases with a grin.
We pick up the rest of the trash and dishes and dump them off in the kitchen before heading for the stairs.
Hudson starts walking up them. I pause, partially to enjoy the view because this man has one hell of an ass, and partially because I know how big this next moment is. I’m about to tuck his child in for bed. A kid. His kid. I’m nervous, because what if I do it wrong? What if I make the blankets too tight and she hates me forever? What if I forget to check for monsters or some shit? What if I’m just overreacting?
Monsters? Really, Rae. Just walk up the damn stairs.
But I can’t. My own mother hardly ever tucked me in, and when she did, it was so awkward that I dreaded it. My dad was almost always the one to do it, and he was amazing at it. I’m scared I’m going to be as bad as my mom at it, just as awkward.
Hudson’s halfway up the stairs before he realizes I’m not following him. He turns back to me. “You still coming?”
I screw my face up at him, letting him know I’m not so sure this is a good idea. He’s back down the stairs and holding my hands in the blink of an eye.
“It’s okay, Rae. It’s just tucking her in for bed.”
“Just? It’s the first kid I’ve ever tucked in.”
He chuckles. “You’ll do fine. You can’t mess it up. Stop worrying.”
Hudson tugs me up the first step. And then another. And another. He walks backward the entire way up to make sure I’m still doing okay.
We pause at the top step while I work on breathing.
“You ready?”
I nod. Still holding his hand, I follow him to Joey’s room. He stops and peeks inside, smiling at his daughter.
“She’s amazing,” I whisper to him.
He turns his smile on me and pushes the door open. He walks over to her bed and sits down next to her. Hudson motions for me to do the same so I do, taking a seat on the other side of the small bed.
“You ready, bug?” Joey nods. “Did you brush?” She nods again. “Go potty? Change into your jammies?”
“Yep,” she says proudly.
“Good job, but I have some bad news. I forgot the book.”
“That’s okay,” she says, patting his hand. “I just need Rae to tuck me in tight tonight.”
“She’s a bit nervous, so go easy on her,” Hudson tells her. He leans in close and pretends to whisper to her. “It’s her first time tucking anyone in.”
Joey’s eyes go big. “No way. You’ve never tucked anyone in? Ever?”
“Nope, never,” I tell her.
“Wow,” she says in wonder. “Even I’ve done that, and you’re way older than me.”
“Joey!” Hudson scolds.
“But you’re old! And she hasn’t tucked anyone in ever. That’s crazy, Daddy! I tuck you in all the time when you’re sick!”
I smile because even though she called me old, she was cute about it.
“Well when you put it that way, I guess I’ve tucked my sister in before when she was sick.”
She gasps. “You have a sister? Cool! I’ve always wanted a sister.”
My eyes snap to Hudson’s. He’s watching me closely.
“They’re okay.” I shrug. “Annoying sometimes and they are horrible about doing the dishes, but I like mine just fine.”
“Wow,” she says with wonder.
“All right, chatterbox, bedtime. You’re not going to want to get out of bed in the morning and I’m taking you to school.”
She kicks her legs in excitement and barely, just barely, holds in a squeal.
The way she loves her father is so pure, so beautiful. My chest tightens again, something that’s been happening a lot when I’m around these two.
“Goodnight, bug. I love you,” Hudson says, kissing her on the head. “Sleep tight.”
Joey returns his sentiments and Hudson exits the room, leaving me alone with Joey.
“So,” I start. “Goodnight, kiddo. Sleep well.” I have no idea what to do next so I just pat her on the head.
She giggles. “You’re supposed to give me kisses, silly.”
Kisses? I gulp loudly and lean down, pressing my lips against her forehead.
And then I can’t breathe.
I can’t breathe because tiny arms are now wrapped firmly around my neck like a constrictor.
She’s hugging me. Holy crap! She’s freakin’ hugging me! I mentally high-five myself for the good job I’ve done.
“Goodnight, Rae.” She lets me go and I get up, ready to head to the door. “You forgot to tuck the blankies!” she calls.
Damn. So close.
I turn back and tuck them in tight for her. She wiggles loose just a little and closes her eyes, ready to fall into slumber.
I grab hold of the door and turn out the light.
Then I hear it. The sweetest words ever spoken to me. The words that seal my place in Hudson’s life. The words that change my entire world.
“I love you, Rae.”
Tears fill my eyes and I find it hard to swallow.
“I love you too, Joey,” I say honestly. In this moment, I realize I do. Not only do I love Hudson, I love his daughter, too.
I’m so fucking screwed.
21
Hudson
Call me the Grinch, because I swear my heart just grew three sizes listening to those two.
She loves my daughter.
I don’t know if this is the craziest thing to ever happen or the most amazing. If I wasn’t in love with Rae before, I am now.
“Hey,” Rae whispers, her voice scratchy. “Were you out here eavesdropping?” I nod because I can’t seem to form words right now. “That’s rude, you know,” she teases, leaning back against the wall opposite me.
I shrug and take the two short steps to reach her. I cage her in, my arms around her head, and lean in close. “That was one of the most beautiful moments I’ve ever had the pleasure of hearing. I’ll never forget that, Rae.”
I can hear her swallow thickly. “It was for me, too. Beautiful, I mean.”
I brush my lips across hers once, twice, three times. “You’re amazing,” I mutter.
She shivers and pushes me back slightly. “I…I need to go. Long day tomorrow,” she says, her voice shaking.
I nod and grab her hand, leading her downstairs.
“Hey, Rae,” I say once we’re outside by her car.
“Hey, Hudson.”
Suddenly, I’m nervous. “Um… Uh… Do you want to maybe come have dinner at my new house next Sunday? Just the two of us?”
She smiles. “I’d like that.”
Rae reaches up and tries getting away with a chaste kiss on the cheek. She laughs when I back her up against her car. I’m a lot faster than she is, so I capture her mouth with mine, running my tongue against her lips, begging her to open for me. She complies and leans into me.
I press against her harder, knowing she can feel me at this point. Testing the waters, I gently grind my hips into hers. She moans, and it’s the best fucking moan I have ever heard. So, I do it again. She moans again and runs her hands down my chest and under my shirt. She starts gradually raising it up, feeling my bare skin. Her cold hands scarcely register, and I’m so hot right now that my body warms them almost instantly. I take her lead and slide my hands down to her ass, pulling her closer into me.
I’m so completely screwed. If this is what it’s like to kiss Rae with clothes on, I can only imagine what it would be like to kiss her without clothes on.
Fuuuuuck.
Now I have the image of Rae naked in my head and if I don’t stop now, I won’t be able to at all.
We’re both gasping for air when I finally peel my mouth off hers.
“No, no, no,” she whimpers. “Why? Why in the hell did you stop?”
I step away, putting a good amount of distance between us. “Because if we don’t stop now, we’ll both end up naked and we’re outside right now. I like my mom’s neighbors and all, but I don’t really want to give them a show.”
“Okay, okay,” she says, shaking out her body. “Okay. Woo. I’m getting in my car right now and I’m going home.” She opens her door but turns back to me as she’s climbing in. “Thank you, Hudson. Just…thank you.”
“I’m pretty sure I should be saying that to you.” I grin.
She rolls her eyes at me. “You know what I mean.” I do; she’s talking about Joey and tonight and…well, everything.
“Thank you, Rae. You have no idea what tonight has meant to me. Now go before I change my stance on exhibitionism, and text me when you make it home, please.”
She blows me a kiss and gets in her car.
I watch as she pulls away, taking half of my heart with her.
22
Rae
“You heard him say what!”
“What did I tell you about my eardrums, Maura? Those things are important, you know.”
“Oh, never mind those,” she says on the other end of the line. “They aren’t important right now. Now, you hearing Hudson say he loves you, that shit is important. What did you do? What did you say?”
“Nothing. He thought I was asleep. What was I supposed to say?” I pause to chew on the sleeve of my sweatshirt for a moment. “Is this even okay, Maura?”
She’s quiet, which is odd.
“Fuck. It’s too soon, isn’t it?”
“When you know, you know,” she says, unknowingly repeating the words Hudson spoke to his mother last night.
“Hudson said the same thing,” I say softly. “I’m scared, Maura.”
“I’m kind of scared for you. I mean this is huge. Not only do you find out he has a kid—again, sorry I didn’t tell you—but then you find out he’s in love with you. That’s kind of huge.”
“I already told you it’s okay. I get why you didn’t tell me. It wasn’t your place to do so, and all is forgiven,” I tell her. “And I know it’s huge, that’s why I’m scared—well, that and because I’m totally in love with him too. And his kid. His kid. Me! Kids hate me! I don’t get it.”
“I don’t think kids hate you. I think you just never met the right one. Maybe this is just how it’s supposed to be.”
She’s probably right, but I won’t tell her that.
“Okay, okay. Where do I go from here?”
“Um, sex. Obviously.”
I laugh. “You damn horndog! You get down and dirty with one guy and that’s all you can think about. You little minx.”
“Hey! That shit is good! Can’t believe I’ve been missing out on it for all these years, and I still can’t believe my parents liked Tanner. I mean I knew they’d dig that he was a soldier, but holy shit! I thought they were going to ask him to move in or something. They’re smitten, but that’s okay, because so am I.”
I can hear her smiling.
Just then, Haley comes barreling in. “Honey, I’m home!”
“Ugh.” I fake disgust. “I have to go, Maura. Haley’s home.”
“I can hear you! Don’t pretend I’m not your favorite sister, Rae!” Haley shouts from the kitchen, her usual first stop when she gets home from work.
“You’re my only sister!” I shout back.
“Winning by default is still winning.”
“Damn, she’s good,” Maura says in my ear.
“You’re taking her side? That’s jacked up, Maura.”
“Whatever. I love you both. Text me later, woman.” She hangs up.
I sigh and toss my cell on the table, lying back on the couch.
I know Maura’s right about the Joey thing. This whole situation with Hudson feels…different. Right. Natural.
“What up, girl?” Haley asks, flopping down on the couch. I move my feet just in time.
“I’m in love.”
“I know. Tell me what else is bothering you.”
I sit up quickly and squint at Haley. “Wait, how do you know?”
“I’m not blind. I see the way your face lights up when you get one of those weird texts from him. Your eyes glow whenever you talk about him or his kid,” she says. “I’m still surprised by that, by the way.”
“Word.”
“And because you’re just…happier. I know you, Rae. In the twenty-two—almost twenty-three—years we’ve been beside one another, I’ve never seen you this happy. Ever.”
“And how are you sleeping? Still having the nightmare?” she asks, concern evident in her voice.
Something occurs to me that hasn’t until now: my nightmare has stopped. I haven’t had one in weeks—not since those three weeks after my car broke down. More specifically, not since the Wednesday Hudson and I had our first official date at his house.
“Holy shit.” I gasp, my eyes going wide. “It stopped again.”
Hudson is my miracle worker.
A slow smile forms on Haley’s face. “Told ya.”
I groan at her smugness and throw a pillow in her face.
I pull into what I assume is Hudson’s new driveway, shut my car off, and look up at the house. The first word that pops into my head is cozy. The brick and white siding is inviting, and when you add in the partial wraparound porch, neatly trimmed bushes, and freshly cut lawn, it screams family. It’s just what I pictured for Hudson and Joey.
I step out of the car and smooth out my orange skirt on unsteady legs, suddenly nervous about this date I’ve been looking forward to all week long. It’s silly, because it’s just Hudson, but I know—I know—this date means more than all our others have.
Hudson comes walking out of the house in a sinfully sexy pair of jeans and dark blue button-up shirt as I’m walking up the small driveway. I can already feel the sexual tension between us.
“You found it. Excellent.” He smiles, taking my hand and guiding me inside. I’m hit with the smell of whatever it is he’s made for dinner. It smells like Mexican, and I fucking love Mexican.
He takes my coat, leaving me in my thin white tank top. He places a small kiss on my now exposed shoulder. “You look gorgeous,” he says softly in my ear.
I shiver.
“Would you like a tour?” he asks.
I just nod, because I can’t speak yet.
He shows me the living room first. Everything is bright and colorful. I recognize the sofa from his old apartment and the huge flat screen that now looks smaller in the bigger room. There’s a matching recliner and a small bookcase now, too.
“You did a great job decorating.”
Here's To Box Set (Complete Series) Page 19