Endless Mercy

by Tracie Peterson

  “You are very talented. I’ve never heard anyone sing or play like you.”

  Her smile was back. “I want to keep performing, to honor Mama. I just keep thinking of all the places and people I could sing for. How I could tell them how my mother brought me to them—that it was her dream for me.”

  “Your mother wanted you to travel and perform?”

  She frowned. “Well, not exactly. Her dream was for each of us to use our talents to serve God and bring joy to others.”

  “Serve God? Why would God care if you sang or didn’t?”

  “Well . . . I suppose He doesn’t exactly care about what I do, so long as I serve Him.”

  He shook his head. “That’s a bunch of hooey. Preachers talk about us serving so we’ll help get things done at church or in the community, so they don’t have to. I mean, imagine if the congregation stopped tithing and serving—the preacher and his family would have to do it all. And in the end, if God is all powerful, then He could just do it Himself and leave us to live our own lives.”

  Madysen stopped walking and placed her hands on her hips. “Daniel, do you not believe in God?”

  Great. He’d said too much. Why’d he have to open his big mouth?

  “Well?”

  Her face held an expression he couldn’t interpret. It wasn’t judgmental and it wasn’t pity. So what was she thinking? Could he be honest with her? Maybe he should try to smooth things over. “Of course, I do. I was just suggesting that maybe you should make the decision based on what makes you happy rather than what God wants. It’s not like God doesn’t know what’s going to happen.”

  They walked for several seconds in silence. He must have offended her. He’d have to dig himself out of this one.

  “You have an interesting way of looking at things, Daniel Beaufort.” She didn’t look at him.

  “Does that mean you’re not mad at me?”

  Those wide eyes looked at him. “Why would I be mad at you? I like my friends to speak their minds.”

  Then why hadn’t her smile come back?

  “Good.” Awkward silence accompanied their steps. “Oh, that reminds me. Granny asked if you wanted to come for lunch tomorrow.”

  “Let her know I’ll be there.” She looked in the other direction. “I’ve been needing to talk with her anyway.”

  His comments about God hung in the air like an ominous cloud. How did he get past this? He shoved his hands deep into his pockets. “I’m excited to work with sheep again. It’s been a long time, and ever since John brought them up, I’ve been thinking about it.”

  “I thought you didn’t enjoy the sheep.” One side of her mouth lifted in a grin.

  He grinned back, glad that she was letting his previous comments drop. “Ah, so you remember. Well, I might have been too hasty in my reply.”

  “Even after our debacle in the manure pit?”

  He stopped, turned to her, and crossed his arms over his chest. “I thought we weren’t ever going to talk about that again.”

  Her laughter filled the air and broke the tension. “You’re right. I made you promise. But it should be okay between the two of us. That’s not exactly something you can forget.”

  Opening the barn door for her, he couldn’t help but let his smile grow. “No. I don’t think I will ever forget that. Or the smell.”

  “I’m so glad you could come for lunch today.” Granny pulled her best china out of the cupboard.

  Madysen counted the dishes. “Will Daniel and his father not be joining us?”

  Granny shook her head. “No. It’s just us girls. The menfolk went off to deal with a new shipment.”

  “I’m glad.” Oh dear. She hadn’t meant to blurt that out. She looked at Granny to see if the woman was offended, but she just smiled.

  “Sometimes it’s nice to have some time for just the womenfolk.” Granny brought a tureen of soup to the table. “Given the chill, I thought this might warm our bones. I have sourdough bread too, and of course some of your butter. I hear tell we can expect cheese before too long.”

  “Yes, we’re working on it.” Madysen placed her napkin in her lap and waited for Granny to take her seat.

  “I’ll offer grace.” Granny bowed her head. “Father, we thank you for food and shelter and the love of good friends, Amen.”

  “Amen.” Better bring up the subject that wouldn’t leave her alone before she lost her nerve. “Granny, I have a question to ask. What happened with Daniel and God?”

  Granny’s brow dipped as she buttered her bread. “You picked up on problems, did you?”

  “We were talking about something, and I just got the impression that he wasn’t . . . well . . . that maybe he didn’t believe in God.”

  “Daniel believes all right, but he’s angry. He has been since his mama and grandpa died. He was devastated to lose them, and he blamed God for allowing it. We had always stressed that God was in control of everything.”

  “He is.”

  Granny tilted her head and glanced out the window. “Yes, but to Daniel God being in control seemed to mean that, because we were Christians, we would always have a good life without problems. It was our fault for not helping him see early on that in a fallen world, bad things happen. Even to God’s children. Do you know the verse, ‘In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world’?”

  “John sixteen, verse thirty-three. Mama had us memorize that when we were living in Colorado.”

  “Yes, well, Daniel believed Jesus was telling us we could be of good cheer because nothing bad would touch us. So when his grandpa and mama died, it was clear to him that God had lied.”

  “How sad.” Imagine thinking God would lie. He’d never lie to His children. He loved them more than anything.

  “Maybe I shouldn’t be telling this”—Granny shook her head—“but Daniel decided that God no longer cared, and because of that, he wouldn’t care either.”

  “That makes sense. Well . . . not to believe that way, but his attitude makes sense. He must hurt an awful lot to push God away like that. For me, losing Mama made me cling all the more to God. And now . . . I think God is leading me in a way that I never expected.”

  “And what would that be, child?”

  Madysen swallowed and drew a deep breath. “I think God wants me to perform for people, to honor my mother. With each performance, I would tell the people that my mother had taught me everything and that I was dedicating my performances to her.”

  Granny smiled. “I think that’s a lovely idea.”

  “You do? Because I’m not sure anyone else will.”

  A frown furrowed Granny’s brow. “Why in the world not? God gave you the talent, you should use it.”

  Madysen sat up straight and met Granny’s gaze. “Because it means leaving Nome.”

  “Leaving? Why?”

  “To sing on other stages. Maybe travel all over the world. Buddy Merrick believes he can make me a star. And what better way for me to honor Mother’s memory? He wants me to go to the States with him—well not with him, but rather with the troupe.”

  Granny showed no sign of judgment, so Madysen continued. “He wanted all three of us girls, but of course Havyn is married and Whitney . . . well . . . Whitney is Whitney. But I was intrigued. I’ve always wanted to perform for larger audiences, and Mr. Merrick believes that he can make that happen. He’s very fond of me.”

  “I see.” Granny took a bite of buttered bread.

  “You can’t say anything to anyone else, but he told me he was very taken with me. I think he might even be falling in love with me.”

  Granny ladled soup into Madysen’s bowl. “And how do you feel toward him?”

  “I’m not in love. I hardly know him. But I am thinking hard about what he’s offering. We talked about it a few times, and he told me it wouldn’t make me much money at first. He was very honest about the fact that he’d be putting up a lot of his own money to buy me gowns and to hire musicians to accompany me
, as well as to pay advertising fees and the rent where I’d be singing and playing. He hasn’t tried to tell me I’ll be rich and famous overnight. But I wouldn’t do it for the money anyway. I want to honor Mama and God.”

  “Well, it’s all very interesting.”

  A slight lilt in Granny’s voice told Madysen she didn’t approve. “I wouldn’t be traveling alone with Mr. Merrick. He has an entire group of performers, and many of them are young women. I haven’t heard all the details of course, but I can’t say it doesn’t appeal to me. Especially when I think of playing music all over the world. Don’t you think Mama would be proud?”

  “Your mother was always proud of you, my dear. But she was also a very practical woman. I don’t know that she would approve of you traipsing off with a group like Merrick’s Follies and Frolics.”

  Her words hit Madysen hard. Of all people, she’d thought Granny would understand.

  “My mother was practical—but she was also encouraging, and she wanted the best for me. My sisters are caught up in what’s best for them, and no one finds fault with that. Now that I find something that seems good for me, no one understands.” Even to her own ears, she sounded whiny. But why couldn’t anyone be on her side?

  “Child, I understand.” Granny leaned forward, leaning her elbows on the table and resting her chin on her hand. “But what about your father? You’ve just learned he’s alive. Don’t you want to know him better?”

  “Why? So he can leave me again?” Madysen folded her arms against her chest. “I won’t give him the opportunity. No, Granny, if anyone is going to do any leaving this time, it’s going to be me.”

  “Well, well,” Daniel walked into the dining area to find Madysen and his grandmother still sharing lunch. “I figured you two would be done by now.”

  Granny got up and started clearing her dishes. “We got caught up in conversation. How did things go with the new shipment?”

  “Just fine. There’s another boat coming on Friday.” He looked at Madysen. “It might very well have part of your order.”

  “That would be wonderful.” Madysen got to her feet. There was no sparkle in her eyes. No smile on her lips. “Thank you for lunch, Granny. I need to be going.”

  “Take some of my cookies home with you. I know your granddad would like them.” Granny hurried to wrap cookies in a dish towel. “Send our best regards.”

  “I will.”

  Madysen didn’t even look at his grandmother. What on earth happened? The tension between the two women was clear.

  He caught Madysen’s gaze. “Did you walk here?”

  “No, I rode my horse.”

  “Perhaps I should ride along with you.” Maybe it would allow him a chance to find out what was wrong.

  “That would be wise.” Dad came into the room, wiping his hands on his apron. “Looks like it’s going to rain.”

  Madysen took the bundle of cookies Granny offered and nodded. “Thank you.”

  Daniel wasn’t quite sure whom she was thanking, but he’d take it. “Great. Let me get the horse saddled. It’ll only take a moment.”

  He hurried to the barn and threw on the blanket and saddle without much thought. A few minutes of time with Madysen would make his day brighter. It always did. She seemed to understand him, and while he wasn’t sure what she thought of his comments on God, her kind nature seemed to make it impossible for her to treat anyone badly.

  He brought the horse around front and found her waiting beside hers. “Ready?” He helped her up. She was as light as a feather.

  Madysen eased her horse alongside his as he mounted. Daniel smiled to himself. “Did you and Granny have a good visit?”

  “It was all right.”

  Her words didn’t match her mood. Daniel waited until they were beyond the outskirts of the town before continuing the conversation. “I don’t mean to pry, but it didn’t seem like things were quite all right.”

  Madysen gave a heavy sigh. “We were talking about my father.”

  “He’s come to town as I understand it.”

  “We thought he was dead.”

  “Dead?” Daniel slowed his horse. “Why did you think he was dead?”

  “Because he let us think he was. He and Granddad arranged it that way so that our father would no longer be a part of our lives. It’s a long story. Suffice it to say it’s not pleasant.”

  So someone else had secrets. It shouldn’t be shocking, but he couldn’t help but raise his eyebrows. “Do you want to talk about it?”

  She shook her head. “Not really. But I wouldn’t mind a leisurely ride with you back to the farm.”

  Daniel smiled. “I’d like that too. If it starts to rain we can hightail it to your place.”

  “I don’t even care if it rains.” The melancholy coming from her didn’t fit. She was usually so lively.

  “I’ve been told I’m a good listener.” He leaned forward in the saddle until he caught her eye.

  When their gazes locked, she pulled her horse to a stop. Her eyes welled with tears. “Do you ever feel like no one understands you?”

  More than he cared to admit. “Yeah, I do.”

  “How do you handle it? I mean, you don’t have sisters like I do . . . who know everything about you, work with you, perform with you, live with you. And it’s really hard being the youngest and longing for their respect.” She looked down at her hands as they worked through her horse’s mane. “But now that I’m ready to stretch my wings, they’re not listening to my dreams or opinions.”

  Everything in him wanted to fix it. But how? Especially since she seemed to still be processing her own thoughts. So he waited.

  She lifted her shoulders and then they sagged. Was she feeling defeated too? He opened his mouth to respond, but she started talking again.

  “And add to that all the stuff with our dad. . . . I don’t think anyone understands how I feel. Is it so wrong of me that I don’t just jump in and forgive him? Not that Havyn and Whit are ready to let bygones be bygones either, but since I’m the ‘merciful’ one, they’re shocked at my behavior.” She turned her face toward him and then covered her mouth with her hand. “I’m sorry. That was completely inappropriate for me to say to you.”

  With a flick of the reins, he moved his horse closer. “You know, I figure since we shared what was probably the most disgusting event in either of our lives, that we can feel comfortable talking about anything. Who cares what society thinks? Or anyone for that matter? Aren’t we friends?”

  Leaning her head to the side, she studied him. Then she tapped her chin with her finger. An endearing gesture. “You’re right. We are friends, Daniel Beaufort.”

  “So share anything you like.” He put his hand over his heart. “I promise not to betray your confidence to anyone, and I won’t think less of you. We’ve got plenty of time and nothing but the great outdoors to hear us.”

  FOURTEEN

  Judas Reynolds looked over the claim deeds he’d managed to amass over the last few months. When people couldn’t make ends meet, they gave up their claims and sold them off to the highest bidder before leaving Nome. It was the only money they walked away with in most cases.

  He liked the way he ran things. He could appear for all to be the savior everyone needed. That one true friend who could make good on his promises and always be there for the disadvantaged.

  Of course, there were those who had found out exactly what he was. Too bad they weren’t around anymore to tell anyone.

  He smiled and stacked the deeds. Another ship was in harbor, and as soon as the barges and smaller transports brought the passengers and cargoes into Nome, Judas would put his men to work. His office would soon be flooded with eager men looking to make their fortune. They’d come seeking claims, and Judas would show them the map where three miles east of town the biggest deposits had been found. He’d talk about the millions of dollars’ worth of gold that was going back to the States on the very ship they’d come in on. He’d tell them how he’d added add
itional ship service just to keep up with all the gold. He might even point out that some folks were simply gleaning gold from the beach sand, although they weren’t making anywhere near the money that the claims did.

  He chuckled. It was all too simple. Controlling everyone and everything.

  Except for Chuck Bundrant and his family. Judas frowned. Even sick, the old man had managed to remain solvent. In fact, the family had flourished all the more. For years, Judas tried to figure out a way to get the upper hand by being their friend and champion. But things were changing in Nome. He didn’t need the goody-goodies eroding all his hard-earned efforts, especially when more and more of them seemed to find homes here. Maybe it was time to change how he played the game. Show them his true power.

  Ticking down a list of families in his mind, Judas looked again for ways to get leverage. Ah, the Beauforts. They owned the mercantile. And Granny Beaufort was close to the Powell women, and from what his sources had told him, the Beauforts were well respected.

  Martin already owed Judas a substantial amount. Especially after his last big order before winter. Maybe Judas should offer to loan the man more money. After all, it wouldn’t serve him to let the livelihood of the mercantile owner be threatened.

  Yes, that could be a source of increased pressure.

  “Boss, the first groups are nearly to shore.”

  Judas turned to find Garrett Sinclair in the doorway. Judas sneered. “You know what to do.”

  He tucked the claims into his desk drawer and settled back in his chair. He had a feeling it was going to be a very good day for business.

  It was merely the first of October, but already the ground held a dusting of snow, and the temperatures had settled in the thirties at night with the days warming up only to the upper forties at best. This came as no surprise to Daniel after all his years up in the Yukon, but how did the newcomers deal with it? The tents lining streets and streams wouldn’t be enough for the winter, would they? Thousands of people lived that way.

  Alaska was an unforgiving land. One mistake could kill a man. The territory was a test of endurance, and only the hardiest could master it. And that included the animals.