by Alexia Purdy
“I’m sure it’s just him being his usual jokester self. Just give her space. I’m sure things will be okay.”
He was asking advice from me? He might as well set himself on fire right now.
He just nodded absently. I had to admit, this off-centered Dylan was a curiosity, but I had no time to dwell on it. I knew we would not get anywhere with Shade right now. She just wasn’t ready to discuss some serious things between her and Dylan. Maybe later on she would, but right now my focus was on Zena and getting to the sacred feather place. Our mission needed to be completed before anything else could be dealt with.
Dylan turned his attention to Zena. “So, Benton has told me a bit about you, but I want to hear it from the horse’s mouth. Tell me, how do you feel about being here in Faerie? You’re welcome at the palace whenever you need shelter or a haven. I just want to make sure you know that.”
She glanced up at me with an inquiring look. “Thank you. It’s been quite an adventure, and I’m so thankful that Benton has such a supportive family who’re willing to help me and my mother.”
“It is our pleasure to help. Welcome to the Scren Palace.”
Zena smiled, turning red under Dylan’s intense stare. I rolled my eyes, watching her blush as he took her hand and gave it a kiss. All the formalities of Faerie made her uncomfortable. Couldn’t he see that? She was all fidgety and red. I bit my lip to keep myself from interfering. It would be incredibly rude to get in between them.
“Thank you, Your Majesty. Benton told me all about the Scren Palace, you and your wife, and his little brother and sister. I wish I could’ve met Anna, but I heard she’s not here right now. I look forward to meeting her one day and thank you for offering me shelter.”
Zena’s warm smile heated up my insides, and it took all the force in the world for me to not run over to her and sweep her off her feet. To hell with Dylan, Shade, and everyone else at the Scren Palace.
Controlling myself around Zena was becoming increasingly difficult, and I began to wonder if I’d been hexed. I scanned the room for Soap. I was going to have a stern word with him about messing with me with any faery magic. It never worked well and more often than not went awry when used on elementals. But such hexes tended to grow in power the longer they were left undiscovered. The guy had set a time bomb, and I hoped I could stop it before it exploded.
Soap, of course, was nowhere in sight when I needed him. Dammit.
Chapter Nineteen
Soap
The evening air hummed with vitality. The scent of honeysuckle and lilacs wafted over us while leaves rode the wind like tiny unmanned horses, leaping from grass mound to grass mound without a thought to consequences or the future. I sat in the balcony outside of my room at the palace, watching the golden-lined sunset ease its way below the horizon.
I was much like that sun. Bright, brilliant, warm, and yet alone. So utterly alone.
I closed my eyes, letting the last of the sun’s heat flow over my face. It was definitely hotter at the Scren Palace than anywhere else I’d been in Faerie. It was a nice heat though, one that wrapped around you like a heated blanket from a warmer, the kind they had in human hospitals. Not that I’d been in one lately, but I’d had some insights into how one ran when Shade had received a blood transfusion after almost losing her life to Arthas, the Ancient Unseelie King.
My eyes whipped opened, the feeling of being watched alarming my senses. I moved my gaze over the gardens beyond my balcony, skimming the tops of fruit trees and shrubberies. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Even the lack of a breeze caressing the tops of the trees felt unusual, even though it probably wasn’t for this time of year. Not in the serene calm of the Scren. Shade kept the place quite tranquil, and there was nothing to fear inside its walls.
I felt movement behind me.
“Soap?”
Shade’s voice echoed from inside my room, and I abruptly hopped to my feet to meet her. Forgotten was the eerie feeling of being watched. Nothing could compare to having Shade in my presence. Holding her, speaking with her, it was all I had. I could not forget that she was the only reason I could see any kind of light in my future, but she was the cause of the overwhelming darkness consuming me as well.
“Yes?” Surprised to find her in my room, I headed in toward her and held out my arms. She blushed red and leaned in for the hug, but not as intensely as I wanted her to. Any touch was like throwing me a life preserver while I was drowning. It was better than nothing. Hell, it was like a shot of adrenaline straight to my heart. I’d take its thrilling high over anything else.
“Are you ready for the party tonight, after dinner?” Her expectant eyes searched me for something, but I wished she could see more than I was conveying at the moment. I wondered if she knew how I hoped she felt the way I did about her. I always would, but at that moment, I wished she knew that more than anything.
“Just show me the way, and I’m there.” I held out my arm, letting her hook onto it with a pretty smile. “You know, you always were quite a gentleman.”
“In more ways than one, Your Majesty. I just don’t get to show it too often.”
Her smile slowly faded away, her face darkening as we headed out of my room and into the hallway.
“Are you okay, Shade?”
“Yes, I’m fine. Why would you ask?”
“I just… I don’t know. It seems like you want to say something but keep holding it in. Just an observation.”
She kept silent as we made our way into one of the main passageways of the castle.
“There are just some things bothering me,” she said at last. “About Benton and this mission. About Dylan. About… us.”
“What about us, Shade?” I held my breath, hoping to hear something, anything that would indicate she wanted me back. I didn’t care that she was married. I wanted her in my life. I craved it. I needed it to survive. Maybe that was selfish, but it didn’t matter. I wanted all of her, forever.
But did she know that?
“This… this thing between us. It has to stop.”
“What’s between us, Shade?” I couldn’t stop saying her name. Whatever it was she was thinking, I had to know. I deserved to know more. Now.
“This… attraction. This unfulfilled need you press into me when you’re here. It has to stop. I’m with Dylan now, but I just don’t know what to do about us. I know there was never a sense of closure between us, and I apologize for it. It was all my fault. It’s just….”
I waited, feeling my stomach lurch as blood drained from my face, but the crowd was growing thicker, and Shade’s subjects were starting to get in our way.
“It’s just what?” My chest tightened, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear what she was going to say. I straightened, pretending to smile to all those passing by and greeting Shade. I’d already decided that it didn’t matter. It never would. I’d always be there, waiting for Shade, until the end. I was immortal. So was she. We had all the time in the world. Faeries were extremely patient and could wait centuries. What were years to creatures like us? I could wait. I would wait forever.
“We need closure. We need to see where it might’ve—”
Before Shade could finish, Dylan was at her side, taking her other arm and leading her away from me. Her abrupt departure left a cold impression against my skin where she’d once been gripping onto me. I could still feel her presence inching along my skin, alive and potent. I wanted it back, and I threw Dylan an icy glare for his untimely interruption.
Shade tossed me an apologetic look before they both disappeared into the crowd of the masquerade ball, donning their masks. The dance had been planned the moment Benton had notified Shade we’d be coming by. I hated to be a buzzkill, but I was in no mood for partying. Especially now.
I donned the mask I’d held in my hand since we’d left my room. It was somewhat liberating to put on a mask and anonymously stare out into the crowd. The ball was as alive as any sort of creature, living and breathing, moving and swayin
g as it hovered over the dance floor, filling it up with laughter and chatter, feet tapping to the hypnotic beat of music.
The music. It was the perfect thing to help me out of my sour mood. I grinned at the human dance music filling the room. It was like a potent charm, drugging the crowd and forcing them to do its bidding as they undulated on the dance floor.
I was already mentally drained, so letting the songs run up my legs and into my hips felt as natural as it could. I danced, letting the crowd absorb me into its welcoming bosom, bringing all-too-willing women to my side, dancing closely enough that I could smell their sweat and perfume intermingling on their skin.
It was a night to forget who we were and become all we’d love to be. Even in such a crowd, my eyes found Shade’s hiding behind her golden mask etched with silver swirls. Glittering diamonds framed the eyeholes, and I could see her peering out from them. She was looking at me but also keeping an attentive eye on her husband, who was chatting with a group of soldiers. She was watching me dance. Her desire permeated the air like an aerosol of pheromones; I could taste it on my tongue. I wanted to run to her, take her up in my arms, and never let go.
I remembered the taste of her lips. My mouth burned with the memory. My only release was that she must have felt the same exact burning sensation on her own lips right now. We were both keenly aware of the what ifs, the could have beens.
I whispered to her via an airborne faery charm, hoping she could hear it above the vibration of discotheque music drowning out all other voices.
You are the air I breathe, the blood in my veins, and the fire of my soul. There is no other who could ever take your place. Reign with me at your side, and I will give you all of me, forever. I will cherish you until the end of time.
Chapter Twenty
Benton
The masquerade ball was dizzying, and I was glad my Zorro-like mask was light and breathable. Some of the masks were adorned with heavy jewels, glitter and whatever else could be pasted on them, weighing down people’s faces and leaving heavy indentations in their skin. The flashier the better. It made my face ache for those who wore them.
“Hey.” A girl holding her mask in place came up to me, smiling a dazzling, white-toothed smile. Dark red lipstick painted her soft lips. She was pretty; I could tell from those emerald eyes looking out from behind the mask. She wore a Renaissance-style costume, and the dress cinched at her waist nicely, fitting her like a glove. But it was her brilliant, deep maroon hair that caught my attention. I knew those locks, and I was getting used to that sweet, sultry voice.
“Zena?”
“Heya.” She smiled again, showing off her heart-shaped lips, which beckoned me as she laughed. “You look like Zorro. Where’s your hat?”
I reached up and touched the simple black mask on my face but couldn’t rip my eyes away from her. She was stunning, all dressed up like that. I wanted to pull her close to me and dance around the ballroom with her pressed to my chest. Imagining it made my breath hitch, and I held out a hand.
“Shall we?”
She eyed my hand, and her smile faded somewhat but remained subtly on her face. “I don’t know how to dance.”
Well, something I could help her with, for once.
“It’s easy. Just follow my lead. I promise I’ll go slowly.”
Her cheeks blushed fiercely, but she nodded and placed her delicate fingers into my hand, letting me lead her deeper into the undulating crowd. Taking her out there felt natural, like breathing again. Once we were near the middle and she realized no one was actually looking at us, she relaxed as I pulled her closer and led her around and around in a simple waltz. It was one thing my mother had taught me. For some reason, it had stuck. I rarely used the skill except with one girl I’d known long ago, who’s name always brought up fierce memories.
Isolde.
She’d been my high school girlfriend before the Faerie war. After I’d graduated from high school and had gone off to Faerie, I’d lost contact with her. She’d just disappeared from my life, leaving a gaping hole where our love had once sat. I never regretted anything as much as I did losing touch with Isolde. She had been my first love and my first taste of magic, in more ways than one.
Memories were bittersweet.
“How’d you learn how to dance?” Zena asked.
“My mother taught me. She had a way with music and dancing. My father and she used to dance all the time in the kitchen… in the evening, after dinner, when they thought no one could see them. I always loved how my father twirled her around and around in the tiny space. They looked lost in each other in a way that told you they were madly in love.”
“That must’ve been something. I barely remember my father, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen my mother in love.”
Her eyes darkened as she thought of the woman back in Aluse’s caverns. It was obvious she’d never been anything but flighty, paranoid, and jumpy. It was no way for someone to grow up. How long had Zena been on the run? A decade? Her entire life? Her mother’s loss of sanity was too high a price to pay for anyone, especially those without any sort of magic.
“Your mother, you know she’s not quite all there. She might not be how you remember her.”
“You mean she might be a looney? Yeah, that’s exactly what she is. I won’t deny it.”
“No, that’s not what I said.”
“I know,” she sighed, still swaying along with the music and watching the crowd, taking it all in, like a watching a carousel going round and round.
“I’ve never had what you’d call a normal life, you know? It’s all been like a living nightmare. Moving all the time, running. Always keeping my bags packed and one eye open while I sleep. I think the only time in my life when I felt okay, normal even, was when I was mind-wiped. You gave me a new perspective when you did that, one I’d never experienced before.”
She peered into my eyes, hers glistened with a sheen of tears. She was grateful for the time spent without fear of magical beings. I wondered if returning her memory had been the right thing to do.
“Do you regret remembering, then?”
She bit her lip, already dark pink from the swipe of lipstick she’d placed there before the ball. “No. It’s good to know where I come from and what I’m up against. But at least I know now that it’s possible. Living without fear, I mean.”
I nodded and glanced across the dance floor, where the party was in full swing. The faery honey wine was flowing, and the night was wearing on faster than a freight train.
“I’m glad you’re not angry with me about that. I never meant to hurt you.”
“Not mad. Just curious why you did it to me in the first place.”
I scratched my head as the waltz came to a stop, and the pumping beat of techno began pouring out into the room. Couples broke apart and began hopping about to the beat, along with Zena and me.
It was hypnotizing to lose oneself in the thrumming rhythm of the music. The crowd moved along with it like one giant monster. No wonder Shade liked to have parties like this. I’d missed most of the ones she’d thrown, but I could see how cleansing it was, how it helped one to forget the problems of the world.
“I had to protect you. You were falling apart in front of me, and I couldn’t do anything. I didn’t think it’d affect you so much, but I was wrong. I should have considered how easily you could’ve been found by the bounty hunter or Cornelius, that night elf. I didn’t think, and I left you helpless. I’m sorry.”
She shook her head, smiling. “Don’t be sorry. You saved me. In a way, it threw the bounty hunter off my trail, because I didn’t do anything he thought I would. I became normal again, and things didn’t make me flinch when I took off my necklace. I used to remove it all the time, just for fun, to watch the faeries on the human side of the realm and see how many I could find in a day. It was a dangerous game, and it got me in trouble more often than not. When I had forgotten everything, I never took the necklace off. Not sure why exactly, but I didn’t
see the scary monsters and sprites anymore. I was free, and the fear was gone. Thank you.”
I stopped dancing for a second and gave her a skeptical look. “Maybe I ruined it all by returning your memories to you. Now I’ve messed things up again without even trying. I just tried to make them right.”
“Stop that,” Zena scolded me, stopping her movements while giving me a shake of her head. “You showed me what life would’ve been like without constantly worrying about the damned bounty hunter finding me. I loved that feeling, and I felt safe. Even the mundane work I had to do to survive was nothing compared to the tediousness of constantly hiding. I was free.”
The music stopped again, and the feeling of relief filled me up as Shade’s voice filled the ballroom.
“Ladies and gentlemen of the Scren court, thank you for attending this amazing party on such short notice. It’s been a long time since we’ve thrown one of these raves, but lately, I have felt nostalgic for my human life and the music. Thank you for taking part in my love of all things of the human and faery realms. You’ve all made these dark days bright with excitement.”
“What does she mean by dark days?” Zena asked.
“Oh, I’m sure she means the impending wedding of my sister, Anna, to that horrible man who now leads the Unseelie army. His name is Oran. Shade and I are not too thrilled about their engagement.”
“Your sister, Anna? Oh, man, that’s right. Sorry to hear that.”
She wrinkled her nose at the prospect of my sibling marrying Unseelie scum. I could tell she knew it was definitely not the news we all wanted to celebrate. She shook it off and turned back toward me, reaching out to grab my hand as she stepped back toward the middle of the dance floor.
“Come on,” she said. “I want to keep dancing, but would you mind grabbing me some of that infamous honey wine you all rave about?”
I watched her begin to move with the beat, letting her hips sway back and forth and her hair bounce. It was disturbing how easily she set my insides afire, and it wasn’t easy to turn away and head to the refreshments table to get her that drink.