I walk up to the side and kneel right next to her. I take her right hand and press it against my dick. She tries to wrap her fingers around it, but fails. Her hand is too small. Or my dick is too big.
“Use both hands.” Looking up, she repositions her body so she can touch me with both hands. Her face confirms she is a bit nervous indeed, but the look in her eyes is greedy and she’s smiling at me mischievously. That pleases me. She is my naughty little girl. The moment she licks her lips and wants to put my dick into her mouth, I stop her. I don’t want this to be about me. She comes first. She will always come first.
“There are people in the rooms next to us. So, try not to make a sound.”
“Those are ... the hottest words ... I’ve ever heard ...” she says in a high-pitched, raspy voice. Then I separate her knees because I have to see that pink, swollen, glistening softness. It confirms once again how much she wants me. I always want her, so it suits me just fine.
When I taste her, I almost lose it. She tastes so good and her smell is so intoxicating, I can’t get enough. I devour her as if I’m starving and she’s my last meal ever. As if this will be the last time. The sounds she makes encourage me, and I feel her legs begin to tremble. She’s about to come.
I separate her legs even further to give myself more room and continue licking her, biting her, tasting the most intimate part of her without mercy.
“Just so you know, this is really happening. You’re mine,” I manage to whisper to her, while I’m enjoying the way her pussy feels all over my face.
“More. I want more.” Her voice is high-pitched and a little hoarse, but she doesn’t need to ask me twice.
“Show me what you like. Fuck my fingers. I’ll hold you.” My voice sounds deep. My breath against her clit increases her excitement further. She’s shaking her hips uncontrollably and moans louder and louder. I close a hand over her mouth in an attempt to quiet her down, but it doesn’t help. She only gets louder. Then I realize I don’t really care what the neighbors might think. Let my Stellina scream all she wants. It encourages me, makes me horny. I’ve never felt this sexually worked up in my life.
“Yes, let it happen. What do you like? Would you like me to fuck you with my mouth or my fingers?” She doesn’t reply, but I didn’t expect her to. I can’t help saying dirty things to her. Very dirty things. Everything I want to do to her. At this moment, I want to fuck her so hard, stars will appear before her eyes. My dick is like steel, it feels like it’s going to explode soon. I grab it to offer some relief, but it will just have to wait a little while longer.
“Maybe I should fuck you with my mouth and my fingers at the same time.”
That is exactly what I do next. With my tongue, I try to get as deep inside of her as I can, while my fingers make circles around her clit. I don’t have to do this very long, though, because my voice and my dirty talk were enough already. Her body is shaking wildly and then she cries out as she comes. My mouth is still between her legs and my fingers are slowly pumping in and out when I tell her how hard she’s made me. I tell her how good she tastes and that I want more. So much more. That I want to fuck her hard on every surface in my hotel room. That I’ve fantasized about it for many years, and this is even better than anything I had ever imagined.
“Stop,” she suddenly pants out of nowhere.
“Stop? Why do you want me to stop, Stellina?”
“Don’t talk. Please, no more talking.”
I crawl up, wipe my face with my hand, and then kiss her beautiful lips.
“Don’t you like it when I tell you how wonderful I think you are, and all the things I want to do to you?” I start covering her throat with wet kisses. I want to eat her up. I can’t stop myself from slobbering her all over like a wild animal. I suck hard on her neck, and realize it might hurt her a little.
“Your mouth is dangerous. All those things you’re saying, they drive me completely mad. I need a minute,” she says, out of breath.
Since I’m not allowed to talk, I shut up. Undeterred and with a huge smirk on my face, I continue my assault on her body. I’m thoroughly enjoying being with her like this because I’ve never felt this way before. Never. She’s finally mine. With my fists pressed into the mattress, I thrust myself into her all at once. This feels so right, so good. A loud shriek escapes her lips. The moment I think she’s gotten a little used to my intrusion, I start moving slowly. She’s tight and warm and wonderful, and my body knows what to do automatically.
With a wild desire and pumping hips, she responds to all of my movements. My mouth smothers her cries and kisses her wildly and passionately, while our bodies move against each other. Her nails in my back suddenly awaken the beast inside me. Mine. Mine. Mine. That’s the only thing rushing through my head right now. My body is devouring hers without hesitation, without holding back. Her reaction inspires a need in me that only she can satisfy. I reposition my arm and grab her hair. I fold my other hand around her throat and squeeze. My throbbing cock has a will of its own and grows thicker now that her pussy tightens and squeezes around it. This is biology in its most complete and pure form.
“Cowboy!”
“Sebastian,” I correct her.
I can’t control myself any longer. My own cry echoes through the room when I explode. And then there is only silence. I lie down beside her and pull her tightly against me. My heart is pounding and my lungs don’t seem to get enough air. She lets out a long, happy sigh. Everything is good in this world. It has never been better.
Then she grows quiet. Too quiet. What’s going through her mind? I’m starting to worry, so I tilt her head towards me and study her. I’m shocked to see tears in her eyes. She tries to turn her face away from me, but I keep it in place with my fingers.
“Can I talk again now?” I look at her with a smile on my face. She returns a little weak smile and nods. My heart is so full of love for this woman. At this moment, it feels as if all the love in the world is in my heart. It’s too much for my small, calculating heart to bear alone. It’s overflowing. It will drown. I should tell her because she needs to know how much I love her. But it’s so cliché to confess your love right after sex. So utterly tacky. That won’t do for my Stellina at all. So I say the one other thing that comes into mind right now. “Thank you.”
She keeps her head up with one hand and looks at me with a very satisfied expression on her face with tears still sliding down her cheeks.
“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” I kiss her cheeks and wipe away the tears with my thumb. “Did I hurt you?”
“No. I don’t really know. It was so intense. It was nice. It’s never been this nice before. So I don’t understand why I’m crying. I’m not that kind of girl, you know. I never cry during sex.”
She lets out an insecure little laugh with her confession. It makes me happy to hear her say that. I had hoped she would feel this way, but I can hardly believe the moment has come. She makes me so happy. All my life, I’ve never known I could ever be this happy.
“That’s because this is more than sex. Much more. It will always be more between you and me. Do you believe that now?”
“Yes, I’m starting to.” She’s honest with me, and I know that is an enormous step in the right direction.
Suddenly, I realize I need to remind her of what this is. Because in her world, this would be the end. In her eyes, a sexcapade is a one-time thing and that can never be the case with us. I’ve made it very clear to her that, as far as I’m concerned, those rules do not apply to us, but I don’t know if she has really grasped it.
“You realize what this means, don’t you?” I ask her again, with a stern look and a heavy voice.
“What does this mean?” she replies, with a semi-mischievous little smile.
“Our sexcapade has only just begun. And I have new rules.”
“Oh. And here am I, thinking you don’t do sexcapades,” she says.
“With you, I do. You want adventure and I will give you just that, but not in
the shape of a random fling, or a one-night stand, or whatever you call it. We are having a sexcapade two-point-oh.”
She is pleasantly surprised, I can see it in her eyes. They sparkle.
“Okay,” she whispers softly. I take the sheets that are crumpled up at the foot of the bed and pull them over us. The warmth surrounding us is the same warmth that encircles my heart when I’m with her. With her leg over mine and her nose in my neck, she moves closer to me. The fact that she doesn’t ask me what I mean or what the new rules will be proves she trusts me and will go with whatever I have planned for us. I cherish that trust because it’s rare in this world, and I decide to reward her by explaining.
“You had three sexcapade rules, but those don’t apply to us. They have never applied and as of now, I have three new rules that do.” I let go of her to get to my suitcase. I retrieve the two presents I prepared for her and once back at her side, I give her the first one.
“What is it?” Her eyebrows are pressed together. She’s curious, but also a little anxious.
“It’s our new rules. Open it.” She quickly tears off the wrapping paper and finds a framed picture. It’s the picture of her perfect butt in the black lace panties she’d sent me and it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life. It’s worth framing and cherishing.
“When did you arrange all this?”
“I’ve had a week.”
“But I didn’t want anything to do with you,” she says, looking at me intently.
“But I wanted everything to do with you. I don’t give up that easily, Stellina.” I take the frame from her and put my reading glasses on to read it out loud.
“Sexcapade two-point-oh, rule number one—Never wrap it up.” I explain what that means right away. “We are exclusive, Stellina. From now on, your body and your pleasure are mine. Just like mine is yours and yours alone. Our physical connection will mirror our mental one. I will make sure you don’t fall short on any level in that regard. I will never turn you down. I will never say no, and I will always look for ways to please you. In that connection, there is no room for obstructions or limitation. That also means no condoms. I can’t wait for your belly to be full and round with my child. I want to claim you in every possible way and fill you up with my seed, time after time. But you can decide if and when the time is right. I know you’re on birth control and you can feel free to continue using that, but you should know that I am more than ready to be the father of our kids. There is nothing I want more in this world.”
“Wow. Just wow,” is her reaction.
It’s the only thing she seems to get out and I’m not surprised. I can imagine somebody telling you he wants to be the father of your future children can be quite an intense thing to hear.
“Sexcapade rule number two—Get it, get it, get it. Your old rule was ‘get in, get out, get over it.’ You meant that it had to be a one-time thing, without a chance of repetition. That’s why I turned it into ‘Get it, get it, get it.’ The exact opposite of your old rule. Because, with us, it will be all about repetition. I will show you that a long-term sexual relationship doesn’t have to be boring at all, and I don’t mean just on a sexual level. Two people can love each other on a spiritual and mental level as well, if they deliberately choose to keep their relationship fresh, fun, and full of surprises. It requires work, time, and energy, just like any other job, that’s all.”
I continue, “Sexcapade rule number three—No swinger? Check that finger.” After this one, I make sure I remain silent and wait for her reaction.
“But that’s exactly the same rule as my old one. Oh well, that one doesn’t need changing anyway, ’cause like you said with rule number one, we are exclusive. So, you have no ring and that’s that. Am I right?”
“No, that’s not what I mean. Here. Open the second present.” I give her my second surprise. It’s a square little box. She looks at it suspiciously and she probably thinks I’m going to propose to her. Encouragingly, I nod at the present with my chin. When she’s ripped the paper off, I take the box from her and open it. Her ring is small, with three star-shaped flowers and a little diamond in the center of each flower. I take her hand and slip the ring on her finger.
She looks at me, astonished and awaiting my explanation. I don’t want to scare her off. I know she’s not ready to get married yet, so I take her hand and put a little kiss on the ring. “No, I’m not proposing. Yet. There is so much we need to discover about each other first. We need to adjust to each other’s lives to be together, but it is my intention to be with you for the rest of my life, and I want you to be with me for the rest of yours. I want the rest of the world to know that you’re not available. That’s why I give you this ring, which, if I’m lucky, will be replaced by a wedding ring one day.”
She thinks hard about her next reaction, but I’m not done yet. “The same goes for me.” I take the second ring out of the box—this one is a simple silver ring. I take her right hand and put the ring in her palm. She takes it and starts examining it. “I will wear this ring on the ring finger of my left hand, and never take it off again. I want people to know that I’m not available. From now on, I’m yours and yours alone.”
“So, this is it then? They lived happily ever after?” she asks, with a cautious yet sarcastic tone. I don’t like that tone because it means she doesn’t entirely believe in it yet. That means I will have to try even harder to convince her of it. It doesn’t matter. I’m a patient man. I expected this much, and I took it into consideration as part of Operation Nina.
“No, that’s not what this is. This not the end. This is a beginning and a promise that I will do my best to make you happy for the rest of our lives.”
I take my ring back and quickly put it on my finger, then I press her into the mattress and start kissing her neck with hot, forceful lips. With my ring hand on her left thigh, I trigger goose bumps on her skin. She sighs and strains her neck even more, to give me better access.
“I will also do my best to make you angry, because you are so fucking sexy when you’re angry. Then I will do my best to remind you of how sweet I am, so that you won’t be able to stop thinking about me when we’re apart,” I continue to explain.
She takes hold of my face and forces me to look at her. Her gaze is full of surprise, emotion, and desire.
“That means you will never know what to expect. I will make sure that you will experience the entire spectrum of human feelings, because that is exactly what you want, and exactly what I’m going to give you. I can’t live without you, and I will make sure you won’t be able to live without me.” My lips find hers once again and I kiss her with everything I’ve got. With conviction. With security. With love. My tongue claims hers and she returns my kiss with the same intensity.
Then she pulls back, but I continue caressing the inside of her thigh. Softly, my fingers make circles on her skin. I move them in slow, rotating motions towards that one special place that is now craving attention.
“Yes, that’s what I want. That’s exactly what I want,” she whispers against my mouth, as if in some kind of trance.
“Open your eyes,” I demand. I want her to see it’s me, that it will always be me. That I’m the one doing this to her and no one else. She puts her arms around my neck and pulls me closer, until our foreheads meet.
I can see in her eyes she wants to say something. “What? What’s wrong, my love?”
“Us. I can’t believe this. I can’t believe us. Can it really be just the way you say it will?”
“There’s only one way to find out, honey. Let go. Let yourself get carried away by the flow. My flow.”
Go with the flow. That’s her mantra. The mantra she started believing in during the last difficult couple of years. I know that, deep down inside, she likes to be in control. She says she’s all “go with the flow,” but actually, she’s not. Deep down inside, she likes to be in control. She has made herself believe she doesn’t want the control, just to be able to deal with the lo
ss of her parents and the loss of her innocence by her cheating boyfriend. I know this, but she doesn’t. She will have to realize this about herself when she’s ready, and I will be there to help her.
The only thing I can do for her now, is take her on the next adventure. On a new path, to a new, unknown destination. In order to keep her, I’ll have to let her experience many adventures. That’s no problem for me at all.
If our lives were a highway, I would not have an end but a final destination nonetheless. Us.
Epilogue
SEBASTIAN - FIFTEEN years ago
What am I doing? Frustrated, I rub my hands over the buzzed hair on my head. Sure, I understand Francesco is ill and that I’m his right-hand man now, the only one he trusts with this job. But I don’t even speak Italian, and I have no clue what those two men standing in front of me are talking to each other about.
Their wild gestures make it clear to me they don’t agree. My irritation grows because I can’t understand a single word. Luca wants to quit the family business and his brother Matteo wants to prevent that. That’s obvious from the tone of the conversation and the heated expressions on their faces. I manage to calm myself down a little and suddenly, I realize it doesn’t matter I can’t understand them—their body language speaks volumes.
My job is a singular one. My job is a simple one. To make sure Matteo lets them leave the country and their lives. By force, if necessary, and that is something I’m familiar with. Violence is my best friend. When push comes to shove, violence is the only language that matters. But still, I’m hoping it won’t come to that. Even though sometimes it’s the only way, it’s not a nice way. It eats at my conscience. It eats at my soul.
This conversation is not going in the right direction. That’s becoming more and more clear to me. Matteo is pointing at Luca wildly, adding power to his words. When he moves closer to Luca in a threatening way, I conclude it’s time for action. I step forward, take Luca’s COLT 1908 out, and aim it at Matteo’s face. Words are unnecessary—the semi-automatic weapon says it all.
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