Cube Route

by Piers Anthony

  But when the man entered the courtyard, something shifted. He crossed it at an angle.

  "He's going the wrong way," Becka said. "He's going toward the hall that leads to the Forbidden Chamber."

  "We'd better check closer," Melody said. The picture on the Tapestry froze.

  "There's illusion," Harmony added. The scene magnified, so that just the courtyard showed, with two halls leading from the court.

  "The Forbidden Chamber hall looks like the broom closet hall," Rhythm concluded. Indeed, there was a picture of a broom marking it.

  "That's why he took the wrong hall," Becka said. "He doesn't know this castle well enough to know that it's wrong."

  "So someone tricked him," Cube said, glad that her hunch had proved correct. "He didn't do it on purpose."

  "But this only deepens the mystery," Becka said. "Who used magic illusion to send him wrong? Who would want to do such a thing?"

  The Princesses looked baffled. "Nobody," Melody said. "He's nice. He always smiles at me."

  "And gives me hard candy," Harmony agreed.

  "And tickles me," Rhythm concluded.

  Cube realized that this wasn't much help. "Maybe we had best focus first on how to get him back, then worry about who did this."

  "Exactly," Becka agreed. "We must check the Forbidden Chamber."

  "Is that safe?"

  "No," Becka said. "But I must help Brusque. Who knows what kind of picklement he's in?"

  The Princesses conjured the Magic Tapestry back to Castle Roogna. Then all five of them walked toward the Forbidden Chamber. "Just what does the Random Factor do that's weird?" Cube asked uneasily.

  "Oh, anything," Becka said. "It's totally random. Once it switched souls between--"

  "Nuh-uh," Princess Melody murmured.

  Becka looked startled, but she made a smooth transition. "I forget whom. Another time it put the victim into a Comic Strip. Do you know what that is?"

  "Comic Strips are fun," Harmony said.

  Cube did not agree. "I think I encountered one at the Good Magician's Castle. One egregious pun after another."

  "But discussing them is dull," Rhythm concluded. The three of them ran ahead, losing interest in the dialogue.

  "That's it," Becka agreed. "The Comic Strips are mostly on Ptero, separating the regions of the different species. No wonder there's not much intermixing!"

  "Ptero?" Cube asked.

  Becka paused half a moment. She was evidently too polite to call a person ignorant. "I guess you're from the back woods."

  "Very much so. The whole of Xanth is mostly new to me. I would never have traveled, if I hadn't wanted to be beautiful."

  Becka paused the other half of the moment. She was also too polite to agree that a person was lacking that quality. "I see. So you went to the Good Magician, and he gave you a confusing Service."

  "How did you know?"

  "I've been there and done that. I can't say I liked all of it, but it did pay off in the end. I'm sure it will for you. But how did you connect with the Princesses?"

  "They intercepted me as I approached the castle. I had been hoping to--to recruit some Companions for my mission, but that can wait until we rescue your friend."

  "I do appreciate your help. But apart from that, you may not be wasting your time. The Princesses, like the Good Magician, have ways of coming through for a person. They set me up as caretaker of Castle MaiDragon, satisfying both my forms. I had no idea, until the very end of that adventure."

  Cube doubted that she was making much progress in recruitment, but once they had rescued Brusque, maybe she could get on with it. The Princesses couldn't take her time forever. She hoped.

  They came to the door to the Forbidden Chamber. It was unmarked; apparently the occupants of the castle normally knew its danger. Cube's toe brushed something on the floor, and she stooped to pick it up. It was a pen, the kind used to write letters. "Did someone lose this?" she asked.

  "Maybe Brusque dropped it when he opened the door," Becka said. "Hang on to it for now."

  Cube put it in her breast pocket. It had a convenient little clip to fasten it in place. Something bothered her about that, but she couldn't quite figure it out.

  The Princesses were already addressing the problem. "He came here and opened the door," Melody said.

  "And the Random Factor zapped him," Harmony added.

  "And now he's gone," Rhythm concluded.

  Cube could have figured out that much for herself, but kept her mouth shut.

  "Maybe we should open the door," Melody said.

  "Don't you dare!" Becka snapped.

  "And find out what the Random Factor does with us," Harmony added.

  "You don't want to know," Becka said.

  "We've always wanted to have a really gross adventure, fraught with horror, terror, and revulsion," Rhythm concluded. "We're tired of being Miss Nice Girls."

  Cube stepped on a smile. What ideas seven-year-old children had!

  "If the Random Factor sent him to some strange world," Becka said, "could you three locate him and bring him back?"

  "Sure," Melody said.

  "We'll do a Find," Harmony agreed.

  "I'll serve as pointer," Rhythm said.

  The three put their heads together. Melody hummed, Harmony played her harmonica, and Rhythm beat on her drum. Cube felt magic focusing.

  Then Rhythm spun in place. Suddenly she stopped, facing Cube. Cube, realizing that she was in the way, stepped aside.

  And Rhythm turned to face her again.

  "He's not beyond you, he's with you," Becka said, surprised.

  "He can't be," Cube said. But then she thought of something. "Unless--" But she couldn't finish, because her idea was that the man had been sent into the pouch she carried. That would explain his disappearance. But how could she tell them that, without giving away the nature of her Quest?

  Becka caught on. "You can't tell what the Good Magician is making you do--why you need Companions," she said.

  "Companions," Melody said. "That's right--you need some."

  "So maybe Brusque has been made into a Companion," Harmony said.

  Becka's face froze. "I don't want to be a spoilsport, but--"

  Cube understood why she didn't want her boyfriend going off on a Quest with another woman, even a plain one. He could be away for a long time. "Maybe not that, but just--just hidden with the others," she said.

  "Others?" Rhythm asked alertly.

  Too much was coming out. "I--have some, but need more."

  Becka resolved the issue. "All Quests require Companions. Everybody knows that. I was once assigned to be a Companion. We don't need to know where you are going. Just whether Brusque is with you."

  She was right. Cube brought out the pouch. "I keep them in here. So that I can seem to be traveling alone. If Brusque is in here, I can bring him out."

  She put her hand in the pouch. "Brusque," she said.

  No hand gripped hers.

  Oh, no! Just when she thought they had it worked out, it wasn't. "He's not here."

  Becka was not pleased. "If the Princesses say he's with you, he's with you. Where is he--inside you?"

  This was awful. "Can--can you do a more specific search?" she asked the Princesses.

  "Sure," Melody said.

  "A detail Find," Harmony agreed.

  "Like this," Rhythm concluded.

  They hummed, played, and beat again, and this time Rhythm pointed right at Cube's chest. Her finger almost touched the pen in the pocket there.

  "The pen!" Cube said, taking it out. As she did, Rhythm's finger moved to follow it. "He's in the pen!"

  "That's why it was lying there by the door," Becka said. "He was transferred into it, so it dropped; he couldn't carry it and be in it at the same time."

  Cube pulled off the cap, but there was nothing under it except pen. She screwed the pen open, but there was nothing but a sleeve of ink. "He doesn't seem to be in here, unless he is the ink."

  "See
if it works," Becka suggested.

  Cube brought out her notepad and wrote on it: "Where are you, Brusque?"

  The pen worked perfectly, except for one thing: it oinked as it wrote.

  "It's a pig pen!" Becka said, disgusted. The three Princesses chortled, loving the pun.

  "I should have known," Becka continued. "He always has these punny little things. He thinks they're funny."

  "They're great," Melody said. "He gave me my pocket watch." She reached into a pocket of her dress and drew out a little creature with big eyes. "It watches everything from my pocket."

  "He gave me my water moccasins," Harmony agreed. She stamped one little foot, and her slipper splashed.

  "And he gave me my elbow," Rhythm concluded. She touched her hair, and there was a green bow, matching her eyes. It was in the shape of the letter L. An L-bow.

  "That doesn't solve the problem of exactly where he is," Becka said, her voice sounding slightly strained.

  "He--he must be the pen," Cube said.

  "Transformation!" Melody cried.

  "We can fix it," Harmony agreed.

  "Right now," Rhythm concluded.

  They hummed, played, and beat. The magic intensified. The pen wiggled in Cube's hand, then expanded explosively. Suddenly a man was standing there. He eyed Becka. "What took you so long?" he asked with a smile.

  "I thought it would do you good to oink a while," she replied.

  Then they kissed. "OooOooOoo!" the Princesses Oooed.

  "Oh, put a sock in it," Becka said as they disengaged.

  "I'm glad it worked out well," Cube said. "Now maybe we should get out of your way."

  "We'd like that," Becka agreed, squeezing Brusque's hand.

  Melody nodded. "It's time."

  "Since we have a mission of our own," Harmony agreed.

  "Joining Cube's Quest," Rhythm concluded.

  "That's nice," Cube said. "So let's return to Castle Roogna, and then I'll be on my own way."

  Then it hit her. "You're doing what?"

  The Princesses laughed together. "Put us in your pouch," Melody said.

  "Then check with Mother," Harmony added.

  "She'll insist on an adult Companion," Rhythm explained.

  They didn't consider Cube to be adult? But she had an answer. She reached into the pouch, murmuring, "Karia."

  Out came the winged centaur. "There's a problem?"

  "These children need an adult Companion," Cube said. "They want to join the Quest, and they didn't even know about the reward."

  Karia turned her gaze on the three. "Oh, my! The little Princesses."

  "You'll do," Melody said.

  "Centaurs are always good," Harmony agreed.

  "Mother will approve," Rhythm concluded.

  Becka shook her head. "I fear you are in for more of an adventure than you anticipated," she said to Cube.

  That was Cube's thought.

  Chapter 5

  Dragon

  Before you go back to Castle Roogna," Becka said, "There's something--maybe you won't want to consider it--"

  Cube, still giddy from the sudden enlistment of the Princesses, who would add phenomenal power to her Quest, and maybe mischief too, was ready to listen. "I'll consider anything."

  "Your Companions--I'm sure the Princesses can handle any problem you encounter. But for straight protection without using special magic--would you consider a dragon?"

  "Don't tell me you want to join!"

  Becka laughed. "Not at all! I've had my Quest, and I'm satisfied with my role here. I just want to get alone with Brusque before something else happens to him. But I know another dragon who is really a nice person, but, well, he's sort of a pariah."

  "A pariah? Dragons aren't usually popular in human society anyway."

  "Among his kind. Other dragons won't associate with him, so he's lonely. He--I think he'd like to be part of a group that might accept him. And he could protect you. Very well. Maybe too well."

  This was becoming intriguing. "A friendly dragon, protecting too well?"

  "Well, I have some trouble relating to dragons, because I'm a half-breed. Drek's a fullbreed, but they still don't like him. Because of his, well, breath."

  "Bad breath?"

  "When he's happy, it smells of perfume."

  Cube laughed. "No fire, smoke, or steam?"

  "You can see why other dragons don't respect him."

  "Yes. But how can he even stand up for himself, let alone protect anyone else?"

  "When he's angry or upset, he breathes an awful stench. No one can stand it."

  Cube was coming to understand. "So he protects by driving other creatures away."

  "Yes. It's very effective. You'd get used to it, but would never enjoy it. Maybe it's a bad idea."

  "He's really an ugly dragon," Cube said.

  "Yes, in the way that counts with dragons."

  "I'll consider him. Where is he?"

  "That's another problem. He's hiding, and I'm not sure exactly where he is now. But the Princesses should be able to locate him."

  "Sure we can," Melody said.

  "Same way we located Brusque," Harmony agreed.

  "Just as soon's we get Mother's permission," Rhythm concluded.

  "Then I think that's settled," Cube said. "Thank you, Becka. We'll ask Drek."

  "I hope it works out," Becka said. "He's my friend, and he's a nice dragon. I'd like to know he is happy."

  "Time for us to conjure us back to Castle Roogna," Melody said.

  "Perhaps not," Karia said.

  The three looked at her. "Why not?" Harmony asked.

  "Because if you wish to present me as a suitable adult Companion, which I am, and protect the secret of the Quest from the knowledge of others, I should arrive in an evident manner, rather than being drawn out of the magic pouch."

  Cube realized that she had a valid point. "Then maybe it is time for me to ride in the pouch. You can fly to Castle Roogna, carrying the three Princesses."

  "Oh, goody!" Rhythm exclaimed. "We'll love it."

  "I thought you might," Karia said.

  They went outside the castle, leaving Becka and Brusque inside. Then Cube handed the pouch to the centaur, and put her foot in. Suddenly she was sliding into it, as if her body were greased. She found herself inside, surrounded by cloth. She was able to see fuzzily between the threads.

  Karia tucked the pouch into the top of her quiver. Then she lay down so the three Princesses could mount. When they were there, she flicked them with her tail to make them light, and flicked herself. She trotted along the ground, spread her wings, and took off. Cube was aware of all this as much by motion as sight, because she couldn't see much from the quiver, and that was looking back. So she closed her eyes and relaxed.

  In a moment she felt the slight jolt as the winged centaur landed. It must be Castle Roogna. Cube had not been aware of the passage of time, and realized that though she could remain alert in the pouch, if she did not make a conscious effort to, she would lapse into oblivion. That must be the way it was with the others, only they had no choice. She was not aware of their presences, but knew that Ryver and Metria were in here with her, as well as the supplies. The pouch seemed to have no limit on capacity. It was impressive, both in its magic and in the fact that it was so ordinary looking, like a darned sock; Sofia Socksorter had not been trying to impress anyone. All this was merely incidental magic from the Good Magician's foot. If that was the true story of this pouch. After all, he was the Magician of Information, not transportation.

  The Princesses dismounted and ran off. Then Karia reached back and took the pouch in her hand. She held it close to her face. "Cube, if you hear me--now is a good time to come out. No one is watching."

  Cube reached up with her hand. It emerged from the pouch--and then the rest of her was sliding out. She landed on the ground beside the centaur. "Thank you. I was aware, but couldn't see far."

  "The Princesses are going inside to find their mother. I think you shoul
d introduce me to her, as you have met her before."

  "How did you know that? I thought you were unconscious until I brought you out."

  Karia smiled. "I was. The Princesses told me as we traveled. And I gave them some information on the Quest, since they have now joined it."

  "But they need Princess Ivy's approval first."

  "Do you have any doubt that they will receive it?"

  Cube had to smile. "No. They won't even have to wheedle very much."

  "I agree. Shall we enter now, or await their summons?"

  "We can start in; they will intercept us."

  They started in--and the Princesses intercepted them just outside the moat. "This way," Melody said.

  "Mom wants to meet the centaur," Rhythm added.

  "She thinks we made her up," Rhythm concluded. All three giggled.

  Princess Ivy met them in the hall, as before. "Hello again, Cube! I hope the little mischiefs haven't been too hard on you."

  "They took me to Castle MaiDragon, where we were able to help solve a problem. Then the little Princesses said they wished to join my Quest."

  "And you couldn't say no," Ivy said with a smile. "I know exactly how it is." She turned to Karia. "Hello, Centaur. I am Princess Ivy."

  "I am Karia Centaur."

  "I am glad to meet you, Karia. I feel so much better about there being a centaur along."

  But Karia was beginning to drift. Cube quickly kicked her on a hoof. "Snap to," she whispered urgently.

  The centaur recovered. "I am glad to meet you too," she said.

  Cube realized that she couldn't say more, because she had tuned out after her name was spoken. "And she is glad to be that centaur," she said. "I know she will do a good job of minding the Princesses."

  If Princess Ivy noticed the slight discontinuity of dialogue, she didn't say so. Cube knew she was a Sorceress herself, who surely had the ability to learn anything she wanted to. She had probably known what the Princesses were up to beforehand, and checked out the centaur. "That's nice. I hereby give my approval for this excursion. But if the Princesses turn out to be too much of a handful, bring them back here."

  "Of course," Karia agreed.

  "Awww," the three girls said together.

  "But I should explain that they will travel in this pouch," Cube said. "The Good Magician's wife gave it to me."