by Lily Orevba
He picked up Hannah’s letter again, his eyes coming to rest on the last sentence, I love Howard. His mother loved him! A smile settled on his face.
“I love you too, Mother,” he whispered, as if she could hear him. “Thank you.”
And with that, he bolted out of the door, knowing exactly what it was he needed to do.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
It seemed strange to be back in San Francisco. Perhaps it was all the bad memories this town held that left Howard nervous as he walked down the pebbled pathway. Memories of his childhood, sitting and longing to be loved by a mother who seemed willing to do anything but love him; crying all night for a mother who, unknown to him, had abandoned him and chosen to be wed to a household staff. Having to leave in the middle of the night with a father who was devastated, crushed, and humiliated by his unfaithful wife.
San Francisco was a city of loss to Howard. Loss and grief. It didn’t help matters that he met Gloria in this same city—a woman who ended up being a prostitute, and whom he fell hopelessly in love with. It was for this same reason that he came back in hopes that he’d find her.
Three weeks. In three weeks, Howard had been to every city he could have imagined Gloria would run to, in search of her. And every city had been a dead end.
Until Oregon.
Completely disappointed and discouraged to find that Gloria had gone back to working in a brothel, he had almost given up hope of finding her until he was told that she left. Best of all, she left because the brothel’s owner could no longer stand the fact that she kept turning clients away. This information was powerful enough to get Howard back on the road again, in search of her.
A part of him doubted he’d find her. His chances of finding her seemed slimmer as the weeks went by. San Francisco was his last hope. If he didn’t find her, he’d return to care for Stuart and pay a detective to go in search of her.
His eyes scanned the streets once more, as if by some stroke of luck, he’d get a glimpse of Gloria, her flawless figure gliding down the road.
But still, nothing.
Exhausted, he came to a halt before a brothel. Howard knew that he shouldn’t even be considering finding Gloria in it, yet, he knew that in reality, there was a possibility that she’d be inside. So, he stepped in.
He was immediately assaulted by the foul smell of liquor and the loud noise of drunken men as they engaged in a brawl. The room was dimly lit and women openly flirted with men.
“May I help you?”
His attention was pulled from a man who had his hands up a woman’s skirt—to the blond who eyed him seductively—her hand resting atop his shoulder.
Irritated, he shrugged her hand off of him and ran his eyes down the length of her barely clad body.
“I’m here to see Gloria.”
“Never heard of her.” The blond rested her hands on her hips. “But I’ll bet I’m better than Gloria, whoever that may be.” She moved toward him and put her hands on his chest. “For a little price, I’m all yours for the night.”
Howard clenched his jaw, fighting the overwhelming urge to shove her aside.
“You never heard of Gloria because you do not know who she is?” he asked, hope filling his heart at the thought that Gloria truly hadn’t resorted to prostitution.
“Never heard of her because this is a new brothel. Something awful happened to the old one…I’m not sure, it had something to do with a scandal or something.” She sighed. “Who cares? Anyway, we opened shop a few weeks back with many girls coming from the surrounding towns. We do not know much about each other. Perhaps when you give me a try tonight, you would lose interest in this Gloria.”
Howard took hold of her hand that was now burying itself in his shirt and shoved it aside.
“Can you direct me to the owner, please?” He clenched his teeth.
The blond held her aching hand and examined it. “No way!” She glared at him, before shoving her way past him, most likely in search of her next victim.
Howard let out a deep sigh, his eyes scanning the room. He walked down the short hallway and paused before a door that bore the sign ‘owner’. He knocked briefly and heard a gruff voice order him to come in. Pushing the door open, he was greeted with the sight of a poor excuse for an office. Cheap furniture; a desk and two chairs that faced each other; raunchy paintings on the wall that would leave any decent man blushing; whisky of all kinds filling a shelve that rested just above the head of the black haired owner whose hair was in desperate need of a haircut and some shampoo. Round head, pointy nose, brown eyes with heavy eye sacks underneath was the sorry sight that made up her face.
“When you’re done staring, mister, you could tell me how I can help you.” Her eyes ran over him, as if striping him bare.
Embarrassed, he straightened. “I’m looking for a woman…”
“Ooh, you’re welcome then!” Her aged brown eyes lighted up as she rose to her feet. “Please make yourself comfortable.”
“I’m afraid it’s urgent. Gloria: black hair, green eyes. I need to see her.”
“And I can arrange that.”
Her announcement, confirming Gloria’s presence, filled Howard with dread.
Disappointed, he cleared his throat. “Please.”
“Of course. That’ll be fifteen dollars.” She held out her palm to Howard in expectation of the money.
It seemed absurd that he’d be made to pay to see his wife. A part of him wanted to storm out in frustration. If Gloria could decide to go back to prostitution, he didn’t see the need of trying to convince her to go back to Arkansas with him.
He stared at the old woman who stood before him, fury filling him. He wanted to yell! He didn’t come this far to find Gloria in a brothel! Least of all, to pay to see her just like every other man! He wasn’t every other man. He was her man! Her husband! And he’d be damned if he paid a dime to get his wife back.
Storming out of the office, he began to storm through the brothel, shoving every bedroom door open to the horror of the men and women who lay behind them unclad and in less than dignifying positions. As every door swung open, his heart rate increased in speed as he imagined finding Gloria behind one of them, her clothes off with a man on top of her.
Furious, he hastened his pace. With the way his heart took to beating fast in his chest, Howard knew he was capable of murder. He’d murder any man who dared lay a finger on Gloria. Thinking of it alone was powerful enough to fill him with unspeakable rage.
He was about to push open the last door when strong hands took hold of his wrists and began pulling him away from the door.
“Get him out of here!”
“No!” He growled, kicking against the force that seemed stronger than him. “I’m not leaving without Gloria!”
“Oh yes you are, you despicable man!”
Howard continued to kick aimlessly until he was being shoved out of the door of the brothel and was landing painfully on his behind on the pebbled road.
Tears stung his eyes. What he had seen was enough to drain any man of the hope of finding his wife. It was enough to leave him hopeless. Perhaps he had been a fool to come in search of Gloria, perhaps he shouldn’t have taken his father’s advice to find her and bring her home.
What sort of woman claimed to be in love with him, yet, returned to her life of prostitution? Why did it hurt so much to accept the fact that Gloria was a lost cause and he needed to return home to Stuart?
Howard leaned back on the pebbled road and closed his eyes. She was gone, he lost her and he needed to accept this fact.
“Howard?” In the midst of his conflicting emotions, a voice called out to him, a voice he recognized very well.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
“I hope you don’t mind?” Gloria shook her head in response. It was only a short distance from Bunny’s home to the supply shop and they were running out of a lot of things.
Although Gloria was nervous having to interact with the townsfolk of San Francisco, she knew h
iding in Bunny’s shop—which doubled as Bunny’s home— would do no good either. She needed to face her fears and the consequences of her actions.
She pushed the dress shop’s door wide open and began making her way down the chilly streets of San Francisco.
Memories began to cloud Gloria’s mind. Memories of her past. She remembered growing up in this neighborhood and leaving an almost perfect life. Then just like that, as if by some stroke of absurd misfortune, she lost both her parents in a month’s interval and was forced to fend for herself. People she considered family, all of a sudden, turned their backs on her when her parents died and the moment she turned fifteen, she found herself a brothel. In truth, Gloria considered herself lucky to have boarding, warm food, and warm clothes. Giving her body away was a small price to pay.
Then the hate began. She found it absurd that the same people who forced her hand and made prostitution her only option, were the same people who hated her for choosing prostitution.
What choice did she have? Confusion turned to hatred and hatred turned to a burning desire for vengeance to make every one of them pay the price for ruining her life.
Even now, as Gloria walked down these streets with angry eyes turning to glare at her, she felt the familiar demon claw at her heart, longing to make them pay for what they did. But in truth, they did nothing. It was that simple. They didn’t take her in but they didn’t force her into a brothel, that was all her and they already had their lives ruined by her the moment she destroyed nearly all their homes.
It was a wonder that despite the fact that Gloria’s exposure of most men in town had ruined most marriages, the townsfolk allowed for a new brothel to be opened up again. One would think that they had all had enough of scandals.
Her eyes rested on the new brothel for a few seconds, her mind finding it impossible not to feel sorry for the many young women who chose that life. Perhaps a young girl like herself, who was angry at the world, had chosen to ruin her own life in a failed attempt to make the world pay the price for her own decisions. As Gloria thought of it, it no longer made sense.
What also didn’t make sense was the fact that she was pregnant for the love of her life and was incapable of telling him of this fact.
Would she ever see Howard again?
Everything in her wanted to see him again, to hold him, to love him and be loved by him. She wanted to go back to Arkansas and be his wife, to care for Stuart and eventually give birth to Howard’s child. What sort of life would this child growing inside of her have when she was completely incapable of doing anything but prostitution?
Exhausted, she made to turn from the brothel’s building but a struggle caught her attention as a man was tossed from the inside of the brothel to the streets. It was probably one of those drunks who tried to get nasty with a prostitute but couldn’t pay for it. She had encountered many men like this before. Perhaps too many.
She made to turn back to the road when something caught her attention that made her turn back again.
“Howard?” she whispered as she caught sight of his curly brown hair. She shook her head. It was simply impossible! Not only was Howard in Arkansas, Howard had no business being in a brothel.
With this fact established, Gloria still found herself glued to her position as she stared at the man who bore a striking resemblance to her husband.
Her heart pounded loudly in her chest as she took measured steps across the road.
Howard couldn’t be here.
Howard is here.
He came back?
No, what on earth would make him come back.
It didn’t matter that many thoughts were racing through her head; she kept walking until she was standing before the unmistakable image of Howard.
His eyes were shut—oblivious to the woman who stood before him—sobbing. It was simply impossible, yet, here he was, in San Francisco.
“Howard?” she whispered, her voice trembling.
She watched as his eyelids pulled open and his eyes came to settle on her. It took all of her willpower not to fall into his arms and wrap him in her embrace.
“Gloria?”
She nodded, tears spilling down her cheeks. In that moment, she couldn’t breathe or think, all she felt was the overwhelming love for this man that knocked the air out of her lungs.
“I have been everywhere. They wouldn’t let me see you in there…” She followed his gaze as he stared at the brothel. “Gloria, I know you’d rather be here than come home with me but I’m plain worn out.”
Gloria settled on her knees before him until she was close enough to wrap her arms around his neck.
“You were in a brothel looking for me?” She stared into his eyes, amazed he’d go to that length just to find her.
He nodded solemnly.
She smiled. “Oh, Howard, why on earth would you think I’d be in a brothel?”
“I looked everywhere, everywhere, my love!” He touched her face.
Something warm filled her insides as she listened to him refer to her as the woman he loved.
“Well, Howard Sullivan, I’m not sorry you got kicked out on the streets because, Howard,” —she leaned forward until she was inches from his lips— “brothels are for prostitutes and I’m not one. I’m Gloria, Gloria Sullivan. Now if you wouldn’t mind, I’d like to kiss my husband, seeing as it’s been ages since…”
Howard leaned forward and captured her lips and she immediately melted in his arms, her entire being soaking up the love that he offered her through his kiss and much more than that, she was giving love as well.
“I love you, Gloria,” Howard whispered against her lips.
Something moved in her belly, evoking laughter from her lips for she had almost forgotten about the precious gift that was growing inside her.
She smiled and leaned forward. “One more thing, Howard…”
EPILOGUE
Five Years Later
Rain drops fell from the dark clouds above, splattering all over Gloria, melting through her dress and leaving her skin soaking wet.
Yet, it did nothing to deter her from maintaining her position on her knees, with mud burying itself in her flesh. A single rose was trapped between her fingers as she stared at the heap of mud before her.
Reaching forward, she touched the mud as if by doing so, she could reach the soul that lay beneath it.
It was unreal. All of it! All these years, she knew to expect it, yet, she couldn’t bring herself to accept his death.
When Stuart’s health started taking a turn for the worse, Gloria wasn’t surprised when he became aggressive and would break things around the house. It was no longer episodes of memory loss, it became longer periods of memory loss until his memory was completely gone and living with him became more and more unbearable. Gloria could see the impact that Stuart’s declining health had on Howard and she wished she could make things better. But she couldn’t.
Until their son was born.
The birth of a new child to the Sullivan men seemed like the sun ray they needed in their darkening world. Howard became happier and Stuart, while his memory was completely wiped out, seemed to have taken to his new grandchild who in turn had fallen in love with his grandpa.
Gloria was thankful for the five years they all got to have as a family. They were difficult years but she knew she wouldn’t trade them for the world. And much more than that, she was thankful she got to be with Stuart the night he died.
She had gone into his room that evening. Unable to move, he was confined to his bed, his gaze fixed on nothing in particular and his skin pale. It broke her heart to find the once vibrant man whom she loved so much, in such a state.
“Stuart,” she whispered, tears falling down her cheeks as she took his right hand captive. She could hear his loud breathing as he struggled to take in oxygen. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.” She stroked his hand. “I’m here because you believed in me. I’m here because you chose to love me.”
; Stuart blinked twice and she smiled.
“I guess we’re all being selfish asking you to stay here with us, trapped in a body that can no longer function. You should know that if you choose to go, we’ll never forget you and we’ll always love you.” She leaned forward and placed her head on his chest. “I’ll always love you, as will Howard and our son, little Stuart. And every time we look at him, we’ll be reminded of the man whose pure love was powerful enough to bring Howard and me together. I am honoured to have had you as a father, my father.”
Stuart passed away that night.
“Gloria, we need to get going before the rain gets worse.”
She nodded solemnly to Howard’s words and placed the rose on Stuart’s grave. Turning to Howard who held little Stuart in his arms, she couldn’t help but think of how blessed she was to not only have a family of her own, but to be in one. She rose to her feet and wrapped both Howard and Stuart in a warm embrace, planting a kiss on father and son’s cheek. Stuart giggled, his brown eyes lighting up as he laughed and held out his arms to Gloria.
“Mama!”
With a smile, she took him in her arms and giggled in delight as he planted a kiss on her cheek as well.
“I love you, Mama!” Stuart proclaimed.
“Well, isn’t that a good thing, Stuart! I love you even more.” She giggled loudly and ruffled his curly brown hair; he was the spitting image of his grandfather.
“We should get going.” Howard frowned slightly.
Glancing at him, Gloria wasn’t in a hurry to go inside just yet. So she placed Stuart on his feet beside her and leaned into Howard. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she pressed her lips to his. Did he know just how much she loved him? And to think that she almost lost him to Alice who thankfully was smart enough to leave town after Gloria’s return.