Accordance

by Shelly Crane

  “You’re right. I’m sorry.” He raised his hand. “Tyrant, remember?”

  “Yes,” I laughed. “Don’t worry about me so much, babe, I’ll be fine. I’ll stay with someone at all times. There’s no way they’d try to take me with all these people here. And I’ll be the one cheering very loudly in front,” I said in a sugar sweet playful voice.

  “OK,” he laughed.

  He held my chin between his fingers as he bent his head to kiss me. I could feel my heartbeat flutter under my palm on his chest within just a second of his lips on mine. Zeke made a noise to get our attention and we looked over at him.

  “Come on then,” he insisted as he waved his hand. “Groupies and wives hang outside while we prepare.”

  ~ Eighteen ~

  Caleb scoffed at Zeke and smiled at me as we listened to Spence start to bang a beat on the drums.

  “I’ll see you after.”

  I nodded and he took me to the door. His gaze combed the bar until he found Kyle. He nodded to him, then kissed my temple as he turned me and pushed me with his hands on my back.

  Stay with Kyle, please.

  Yep. Have fun.

  I’ll try.

  I had to push through people to get to Kyle, who was waiting patiently in the back. The bar was filling up now, people’s thoughts projecting that they were excited about the show. I smiled thinking about Caleb being so nervous for no reason. He was so good and the band already had quite a following.

  “Hey,” Kyle said and grabbed my hand to pull me through a couple who wouldn’t move. He spoke into my ear. “What’s so funny?”

  “Nothing.”

  “They warming up back there?”

  “Yep.”

  “Here.“ He handed me a cup and smiled. “I got you a drink.”

  “Thanks.”

  “So, are you excited?” I nodded. “There‘s gonna be lots of girls here pawing all over him after the show, ya know.”

  “Yes, I’m excited. And I’m not worried about girls, Kyle,” I laughed. “But thanks for trying.”

  He had a devilish grin and chucked my chin.

  “You got it.”

  “Where’s Beck and Ralph?”

  “I’m afraid to wonder.” I scrunched up my nose, shaking my head at them, “And Amber’s MIA. I haven’t seen her in a couple days and when I went to pick her up for the show, no one answered the door. She won’t answer my calls either. Guess that’s over.”

  “I’m sure she had good reason,” I mused over the music.

  “What? I thought you hated Amber?”

  “I don’t hate anyone,” I rebutted.

  “You know what I mean. I know for a fact she wasn’t on your favorite people list.”

  “True, but that doesn’t mean anything. We’re about to go home anyway. It’s probably good it ended now, right?”

  “Yeah, yeah, you’re right,” he said quietly and nodded. “Bish and Jen are pretty obvious, huh?”

  “You noticed that, too?” I asked but knew he was right about them being obvious.

  “Everyone noticed. It sucks for them. Especially when we go home and he meets all my uncles. All those Jacobson’s together won’t stand for our Jen being pursued by some commoner.”

  “Commoner?”

  “Not Ace.”

  “It’s because they aren’t imprinted not because he’s human. Your family’s not that petty, I think I‘m proof of that.”

  “Still, Bish better watch his back. He puts those googly eyes on her in front of Uncle Ben, he’s sure gonna wish he hadn’t.”

  Ok, subject change needed.

  “So what’s the reunification like? Caleb told me some about it.”

  “It’s basically a week long indoor picnic with drawn out speeches from the council and games and dances and stuff. Girls following the guys around like kittens, hoping and praying they’ll imprint before everyone goes home.”

  “Sad.”

  “It didn’t used to be, Mom said it used to wild and fun. There wasn’t all the strain and desperation there is now. People enjoyed it and if they imprinted, they imprinted. No biggie,” he scoffed and smiled sadly, “it was gonna happen one day anyway and people were happy.”

  “I’m sorry, Kyle.”

  He looked at me sharply.

  “Why are you sorry? It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t do this on purpose.”

  I felt my eyes go wide and my mouth open.

  “Wow. That’s quite a change from what you usually say to me,” I said softly, leaning in so he could hear me.

  He shrugged one shoulder and smiled a small sad crooked smile.

  “It’s not your fault, I was just mad. But I realized something in the pool that day.” I gave him a look said not to bring that up. “Just listen.” He grabbed my upper arms gently. “I know you and Caleb are meant to be together. I do. And if it was me instead of him, he’d be happy for me.” He bit his lip and looked a bit pained but pressed on. “I am still in love with you.” My breath caught. “That hasn’t changed and I don’t see a change coming anytime soon. But it’s ok. I can love you and still be your friend. I can love you and be your family.”

  I looked up into his eyes. His mind was so wide open and honest and he was waiting for me to tell him that it was ok, that this was an arrangement that we could both deal with; him in love with me from afar and me knowing it but loving Caleb.

  “It sounds like torture to me,” I whispered but somehow he heard me.

  “I want it this way. I’d rather be with you as friend than not at all.”

  “Maybe…I should go home to Tennessee…and you stay.” He started to interrupt but I stopped him. “Kyle,” I sighed. “It doesn’t make me feel good to see you like this. To know what’s in your head and not be able to…I don’t like it,” I said shaking my head and trying to move backwards but he wasn’t giving me any leeway.

  “I do. I didn’t tell you this so you’d run off without me. I told you this so you’d know I was going to back off and let you be. I’m not gonna…be inappropriate with you anymore.”

  “But you’re miserable,” I said in truth not vanity. His face was a clear picture of it even if I wasn’t in his mind. He was miserable, inside and out. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “And I don’t want you to hide from me. We’re friends. That’s all. I can deal with it.”

  “By moping around and hardly speaking to anyone,” I replied.

  “I didn’t have anything to say,” he muttered lamely.

  “Kyle,” I protested.

  I looked around us, at the growing crowd and found Beck and Ralph still at the bar, trying to coax the bartender into giving them drinks, who was internally debating kicking them out. I turned back to Kyle and looked at us. His big lean hands were still wrapped around my upper arms gently and intimately. We were so close, our legs were touching and sometime I’d placed my hands on his chest, probably when I had been trying to retreat. Kyle was working overtime to remove the want to kiss me from his mind so I wouldn’t see it. He just wanted to kiss me once, he thought. If he could kiss me once, then he’d be able to control himself around me, just one kiss.

  That idea was ludicrous but, in his mind, it was sound logic.

  “Kyle, I hate that you’re so upset about this. I wish I could take it from you somehow-”

  “I wouldn’t want that. I want to feel what I feel,” he said gruffly.

  “But I don’t want you to.” His face fell further. His mind said something about me being disgusted by him. “I’m not disgusted, I’m sad. You’re my friend, you’ve been my friend for years and I don’t ever want you to not be happy, especially because of me. If there was a way for me to snap my fingers and make a girl appear right now that you could imprint with and live happily ever after I would. I’d give a lot to make that happen, so you wouldn’t hurt anymore.”

  He smiled and slowly traced my cheekbone with his thumb.

  “One more reason that I love you.”

  Before
I could say anything a group of college kids came piling through the door and knocked me into Kyle. His arms went around me to keep me from falling, his feelings smashing into me as well. He wanted to pull me to him and press my face into his neck, keep me there. I pushed away quickly, my hand feeling his fast heartbeat under my palm, but not before Kyle’s lips brushed against my temple in a soft kiss that he hoped I thought was accidental.

  I leaned on the wall, to move out of the group’s way and also to get some space from Kyle but he followed me. He was trapping me to the wall with his cage of arms as his palms went to the space near my head.

  “I could’ve kissed you five times already but I haven’t. I’m trying to do the right thing but I want to be honest too. Will you stop trying to get away from me all the time and let’s go back to the way we used to be? Just Kyle and Maggie, friends, I’ll keep my thoughts to myself and you and Caleb can do…whatever you want, I‘m done with trying to come between you two.” He smiled and waited for me to do the same. “Don’t worry about me. I’m a big boy now,” he said and grinned, begging me to agree.

  “Oh, I see,” I said and laughed. “Well, I’m not the same little girl you always knew either. I can kick your butt now.”

  “Really doubtful,” he laughed and pulled the ends of my hair playfully. I grabbed his forearm in a tight grip, letting him feel my strength that wasn’t human any longer and smiled smugly. “Holy moly,” he muttered. “What the…Mags,” he grunted and tried to twist my arm the other way.

  “Scared of a little girl, Kyle?”

  “Jeez…Ok, ok, truce!” He rubbed his arm and grinned at me with new respect. “Is that from the ascension?”

  “Yep, and I’m just awesome,” I shrugged and said in a bragging tone.

  He laughed and put an arm around my shoulder as he pulled me away.

  “True.”

  I stopped him.

  “Kyle.”

  “Yeah,” he said cautiously, like I’d renege on our agreement.

  “Thank you,” I said sincerely.

  He nodded slowly before looking down to meet my gaze. We looked at each for a few seconds before I broke it and let him steer me as we walked to the bar to find Ralph and Beck, sucking down a couple bottles of water.

  “Where have you been?” Beck asked me and eyed Kyle suspiciously. “And you, I thought you said you were bringing a girl?”

  “I was, she bailed.”

  “Her loss,” I chimed, ending that part of the conversation. “This band’s pretty good, huh? Caleb told me they’re still in high school.”

  “They are good,” Ralph said and turned up the bottle to get the last drops. “But what does Caleb’s band sound like?”

  “Um,” I thought. “You know…I can’t really describe it. It’s good though just different.”

  “Well, you’re about to find out, Ralph,” Kyle said and we all turned to the stage as the previous band waved and headed off stage. Then, as luck would have it, the rest of our family came walking through the door. I gawked. Peter and Rachel both were in jeans and t-shirts. Hair was still coifed to perfection but casual in a way I’d never laid eyes on. “You made it right on time.”

  “Good,” Rachel said eagerly and smiled. “Let’s go get up front before they come on so we can see.” She grabbed my hand and then Beck’s, “come on, girls.”

  I laughed with Beck as Rachel pulled us along. This side of Rachel was apparently going to be fun. We stood right up by the front speaker and were soon being crowded from behind. Peter and the rest pushed their way to stand at our backs. Rachel was practically bouncing on her toes. It was freaking adorable.

  I heard Kyle and Peter talking about the business behind us. Kyle was asking questions, since he was starting school in a few weeks, about the job and things. Peter was proud that Kyle was interested and I got an inkling of disappointment from him because Caleb hadn’t asked anything about it. He didn’t seem interested at all and after what Kyle had said about Caleb at the picnic that day, about wanting to go to Arizona instead of working the family Architect business, he was worried that Caleb didn’t want to continue the family business at all. Little did he know what Caleb was going to sacrifice for his family.

  I felt bad for Caleb and understood his position to go to school, work for his family and do what they wanted him to. He would be the only one not following along with it if he rebelled. They offered financial security, family protection and safety and he would be offering the same to them. I could see it, the importance of it, but it still sucked that he couldn‘t do what he wanted to do.

  Kyle caught me staring and winked at me, pulling me from my thoughts. I smiled and turned back to the stage when everyone started cheering. Caleb was first on the stage and he looked out at the crowd as he made his way to stage right. I put my fingers over my mouth to stifle a giggle. He was so adorable. Then the rest of the guys came out, Zeke last, and he waved his arm in the air dramatically.

  Caleb shielded his eyes and squinted until he saw me right in front of him. He smiled bashfully and sent a little wave before pulling on his borrowed zebra striped bass. Zeke grabbed the mic, bending it forward, and spoke low.

  “We are Metal Petals, prepare to be rocked.”

  The crowd cheered as Beck and I laughed at him and the music started. It was a cover of ’Ride’ by The Vines. Then they did a few original songs before doing another cover, The Ramones ‘I Want to Be Your Boyfriend’, making the girls up front screech and bounce. Rachel practically glowed with pride and Peter wrapped his arms around her from behind, kissing her cheek. It was one of the sweetest things I’d ever seen as they watched Caleb, their son, my significant, totally in his element.

  They then began another cover that I’d heard at practice that day, “The Way You Are’ by The Afters. Zeke belted out the lyrics and crooned in a growl that totally worked. When he reached the second verse he locked eyes with me. As he sang the words he pointed at me and beckoned me to him with a crooked finger. I looked around me to the others, sure he was pointing at someone else, but no. I could hear his mind loud and clear. He was about to pull me on stage with him. I looked around me once more for a way out but we were too jammed in. Beck was laughing and pushing me forward when my eyes drifted back to him he nodded and waggled his fingers for me to come. I shook my head ‘no’.

  So he came down the stairs on the front of the stage and grabbed my hand as he sang. I begged him with my eyes to please, no, stop, anything! He didn’t listen as he continued to sing the words and sway as he walked backwards up the stairs singing to me as the crowd cheered louder and louder with each step up I took. I wanted to die, right there, from embarrassment. Caleb looked halfway between laughing and punching Zeke as he strummed. Once Zeke had me on stage he kept my hand in his and the mic in his other. He sang and shimmied towards me as he belted it out, my face flaming. “And after all this time I’ve come to find my soul’s fragility, but you rectified my frailty by your strength. It’s like the sun swallowed up by the earth, like eternity falls in reverse. As if the glass could contain the sand, that’s the way you are in me! That’s the way you are! Now you’re with me, and now I see what it means to me, to be apart of such a mystery.”

  He twirled me under his arm, danced with me, turned me to face Caleb. Caleb smiled and shook his head as Zeke whipped me back around. I hoped he wouldn’t pull me too close, because Caleb would have snapped, but he didn’t. He did however grin like the Cheshire cat and wink at me, acknowledging my discomfort so I finally gave in and danced with him, much to his delight.

  The crowd loved it but I was still fighting the heat in my cheeks.

  The rest of the band laughed and I heard whistles too. Once the song ended he kissed the back of my hand and bowed to me before helping me off stage. I covered my face with my hands as my friends and family heckled and joked.

  “Don’t do that!” Beck said pulling my hands away. “It was awesome, frigging awesome!”

  “It was embarrassing,” I cou
ntered.

  “It was hot!”

  I rolled my eyes and looked back to the stage to see Caleb watching me.

  Sorry, he’s a jerk.

  It’s ok. I’m alive, I joked.

  You looked seriously hot if that helps.

  I just laughed and shook my head at him.

  “Look at you two,” Beck crooned. “You’re so cute. It’s like you’re having a conversation with your eyes or something.”

  “They practically are,” Kyle butted in with before I could say anything. He bumped my shoulder with his. “It’s just disgusting.”

  He was smiling when I looked up at him. He was trying, really trying, and it made me want to sigh with relief. I bumped his shoulder back with mine and he laughed. Beck had Ralph bouncing up and down to the beat of the next song and I smiled as I focused on Caleb once again. He was doing that thing again, where he played so perfectly but his eyes were perfectly locked on mine at the same time.

  I smiled before glancing over at Dad to see him and Jen talking over the music and laughing. I saw in his mind he was telling her a joke about a guy walking into a bar. I shook my head at him. Then I picked up the thoughts of a girl next to me; she was looking at Caleb and imagining snagging him up after the set. Going dancing or sitting at the bar and then whatever else he wanted to do. I glanced at her she smiled at me.

  “Oh my, they are so hot aren’t they!”

  “They are, yeah. Especially mine,” I inched forward.

  “I know! The leather is hilarious!” she said laughing. “I love the bands here. They are always so eccentric and crazy!”

  In her mind she assumed since Zeke pulled me on stage he was the one I was talking about.

  “Um, no, the lead singer isn’t mine. That one,” I said pointing at Caleb and she balked.

  “He’s your boyfriend?”

  “Yep.”

  “Well-” and the next word that came out of her mouth I had never used before and didn’t have any plans to.

  Then she turned without another word and stomped straight out the door of the club. What had just happened? I looked back to the stage to see Caleb trying to stifle a laugh. I glared at him making him laugh harder.