FOREVER DECEMBER
GODS OF CHAOS MOTORCYCLE CLUB
Honey Palomino
COPYRIGHT © 2020 HONEY PALOMINO
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED WORLDWIDE
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means without permission from the author. This is a work of fiction. All names, characters, events, locations and incidences are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental. This book is for entertainment purposes only. This book contains mature content and is intended for adults only.
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Contents
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Epilogue
About the Author
Thank You
Prologue
“Can you keep a secret?”
I didn’t know it at the time, but those few words, carelessly strewn together and spontaneously blurted out, would prove to be the very words that would change my life forever.
“Of course,” I replied, thinking that I’d already been keeping my own secret for a few years now, so of course I could keep December’s too.
December was my best friend’s sister. I happened to be in love with her, but that was my secret. There were times when I was sure she knew, like when she looked at me with that slow side glance after I'd laughed at one of her jokes or something.
But I never told her.
We kissed once — on a cold, snowy night that seems like it was a million years ago and yesterday, all at once. If I close my eyes, I can still feel her lips on mine and the snowflakes falling on my eyelids.
After Leo, her brother and my best friend, found out a few days later, it was like I’d opened the gates of hell. He was furious. So, reluctantly, I backed off.
He was my best friend, after all.
But my feelings for December only intensified over the years, morphing into a full blown, silent obsession, if I’m being honest. And while it may have been a quiet, secret obsession, it raged inside of me like a hot flame I couldn’t seem to extinguish.
December moved on, though, much to my dismay.
Her boyfriend, Shane, was also friends with Leo, but for some reason Leo didn’t object to her dating him as much as he did me kissing her once.
I don’t know why.
To put it bluntly, Shane was a dick. Everyone knew it.
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t figure out what December saw in him. In the end, I figured it was because he was older than us, if only by a few years.
Despite my unending crush on her, I kept my opinions about Shane and the entire situation to myself. My friends were all I had, and the four of us created a little tribe that I valued way too much to risk by opening my mouth, no matter how much I thought December deserved better.
So, I tried to be a good friend to December and let that be enough for me.
But it was never enough.
The fact that she wanted to share a secret with me thrilled me immensely. So, as we sat outside the Grab n-Go in Shane’s old beat up Honda, on a hot summer night, waiting for Shane and Leo to grab snacks, and — if they could pull it off, since we were all underage — a little beer for later, and she turned those dark, soulful eyes on me and made me swear on my Mama’s grave that I wouldn’t tell a soul, I jumped on the chance to prove my loyalty.
It was December’s and Leo’s eighteenth birthday — the nineteenth of June — and we we’re all going to the coast later that night to celebrate. I’d be turning eighteen next month, and Shane was older than all of us, but just by a couple of years.
Just in case they couldn’t get the beer, I’d snuck a bottle of whiskey out of my old man’s liquor cabinet and hid it in my backpack to present to her later. She was always a little less reserved and the pain that seemed to take up residence in her eyes lately disappeared just a little when we were dancing around the fire with a good buzz.
I’d have done anything to make her happy.
It was going to be a good night and as soon as Shane and Leo got back, we’d be on our way. The sun was already setting, a golden orange glow that held the promise of a new chapter for all of us. Now that we’d all finally graduated, we felt like the world was opening up for us. Like anything could happen.
If we could just get out of Depoe Bay first.
I had no idea at the time just how right I was about that.
“Are you going to tell me now or are you going to wait till they get back?” I laughed, as she hesitated. Her eyes darted past me, looking over my shoulder to check for the guys. She took a deep breath, meeting my gaze again, as if mustering her courage. Hesitating, she bit her bottom lip and I couldn’t help but smile. This must be a big secret, because she only did that when she was thinking hard about something.
“I’m pregnant, Wolfe.”
Like a dagger to my heart, her words pierced my soul so sharply, that I gasped, not in shock, but in physical pain. I shook my head, hoping the expression on my face didn’t reveal my devastation.
“Wow,” I whispered. “It’s Shane’s?”
She looked like I’d slapped her. “Of course, who else’s would it be?”
“Right,” I nodded, quickly.
The four of us were a tribe, like I said. We didn’t really hang out with anyone else. Not that there were that many cool people our age to hang out with anyway. Anyone with half a brain moved away from this tiny coastal town as fast as they could. There were only a thousand residents anyway and it seemed that this summer we were the only ones still hanging around, out of either an obligation to elderly parents — like Leo’s and December’s folks — or the lack of anywhere else to go — like me and Shane. I wasn’t too connected to my dad. Since Mom died of cancer when I was just a kid, Dad had pretty much checked out anyway.
I spent most of my time dreaming about my next move.
I was thinking of law school eventually. I knew it would take a lot of work, which was daunting, but the idea excited me. Who was to say I couldn’t do it? I was smart and determined. I was tired of being held down by the low expectations of the people in this town. I had a plan, but I didn’t have money, so my plan would be accomplished one small step at a time.
“That’s wild, December,” I finally said, once I saw through my crushed emotions that her face was quickly falling. “What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to keep it, Wolfe.” Her voice was quiet and determined and I could tell it was taking all her strength to stay brave. It dawned on me that she was probably terrified.
“What did Shane say?”
“He doesn’t know yet. You’re the first person I’ve told,” she admitted.
“Me?” I asked, biting my tongue before I asked why. I knew why. I was the only person she really trusted. I may have been devastated at her news, which clearly knocked me out of the running for anything ever happening between us, but I was also proud of the fact that she felt so safe with me. At least it was something.
“I’m going to tell him soon. I just couldn’t tell him yet. I don’t know why,” she said, staring out the window, her eyes stormy and dark. I longed to pull her in my arms and hold her close, tell her everything was going to be okay, no matter what happened, no matter what Shane said.
“Leo’s gonna freak out.” Her voice was a quiet wisp in the air.
“Maybe,” I agreed. He would definitely freak out, I knew that for sure. There wasn’t much in this world that Leo loved more than his twin sister. They had loving parents, but they were in their fifties when they adopted the two of them and now that they were in their seventies, Leo and December were mostly responsible for looking out for each other. Leo took his job seriously. “He loves you, though. He might be upset at first, but give him some time. It’ll be okay.”
“I hope you’re right,” she said, staring thoughtfully into my eyes.
“I am,” I assured her. It was all I could do. She was in the front seat, so hugging her from my spot in the backseat would have been extremely awkward. I reached up and patted her hand, the feel of her skin on mine doing what it always did. I shifted in my seat, pulling my hand back.
Pregnant.
My mind was reeling, trying frantically to rewrite the story I’d imagined for our future. A kid changed everything. Everything.
It was almost too much to even imagine. We’d all gone through a lot, but hell, we were all still kids ourselves. Even Shane was one of the most immature dudes I knew. In fact, it was Shane I was worried about more than anyone. Most likely he would not be taking the news of his imminent fatherhood very well.
He was never the most stable guy in the first place. He had a quick temper and a big ego, both of which weren’t the most pleasant traits to have. Shane’s family lived hard — his parents and brothers were both drug dealers and his sister was addicted to meth. He spent as much time away from them as he could. Which is why he hung out with us so often, I figured. We liked to party, a little booze, but that was it. And Leo, December, and myself, we were good people. We were fun and easy going and we liked each other — a lot, obviously.
We knew Shane didn’t have it so great at home. So, we let him into our circle. And then one thing led to another and he and December hooked up and now…well, there we were sitting in his car and as I absorbed this news, I felt terrible for December.
Did she really know what she was getting into?
I knew there were options, but I also knew she knew about them just as well as I did, and she didn’t need me lecturing her or even bringing that up. She’d make up her own mind. It was her body. It was her life.
And she was an adult now, after all. Maybe it wasn’t so bad. I knew it would be hard for her, but I had no doubt she’d be an amazing mother.
“Wow, a baby at eighteen,” I said.
“It’s so cliché, huh?”
I shrugged, smiling at her, “Fuck it.”
“You’re a good friend, Wolfe,” she said, her eyes staring into mine and seeming to penetrate straight into my heart. “I love you, dude.”
“Forever?” I asked, reciting my usual line.
“Forever.” She nodded firmly.
I swallowed hard, “I love you, too.”
“Forever?” she asked, a wistful smile stretching across her face. I reached up and grabbed her hand, squeezing it gently.
“Forever,” I promised, with all my heart.
It wasn’t the first time we’d said it to each other. We all said it. Three little words, freely thrown around like a casual declaration of friendship.
Deep down, my words meant so much more, though. When I said ‘forever’, I wasn’t sure if it meant the same thing as when she said it.
It didn’t matter, though. The truth was the truth, and nothing in the world could change my love for her. A wild thought flashed in my mind and I fought with the words attempting to escape my lips. Would she want to hear them? I wanted to tell her I would be there for her and the baby, in case Shane bailed. I wanted her to know she wasn’t alone. That she never would be. That she had options. She didn’t have to raise this baby with Shane, not if she didn’t want to.
It all seemed so important to say and yet so very inappropriate in the moment. She’d not even told him yet. Maybe he would surprise all of us and this would sober him up a little, make him grow up for once.
After a moment, I decided that it could wait. The one thing we all seemed to have right now was time. In fact, time seemed to stretch out before us like a never ending road.
That night felt like the beginning of everything. As if nothing of any real importance had come before it. December wasn’t going anywhere, and neither was I. If the right moment came along, then of course, I’d tell her. In the meantime, I’d do what I’d always done — just be a good friend to her.
The driver’s side door flew open, violently jarring us out of our quiet moment. Our heads snapped to the side as Shane flung himself behind the wheel, the overhead light of the Honda illuminating the interior of the car.
He was shaking, wild-eyed, and covered in blood.
His white t-shirt was drenched in splattered crimson, with streaks smeared on his neck and cheek.
The next few seconds passed in a blur that I played out in my head a million times afterwards, examining every second with forensic detail.
“Shane, what the fuck?” I demanded, my heart jumping into my throat. I looked out the window, scanning the parking lot. “Where’s Leo?”
“He’s gone, man,” he cried, his voice full of panic. “That fucker! He shot him!”
“What!” I shouted. December screamed. My head snapped over to her at the sound of her anguished cry and I saw that she was huddled back up against the door, attempting to get as far away from Shane as possible, her arms wrapped around her torso.
I’d never seen anyone look like that before and I felt her pain in every ounce of my soul. Time seemed to slow down to a crawl as my eyes scanned her face.
The sound of the engine roaring to life shook me out of my trance.
When Shane put the car in gear, I freaked out.
“What are you doing?” I shouted, my voice booming through the car. He turned his head, his eyes crashing into mine.
I saw nothing but fear.
“We have to fucking get out of here! The cops are coming!”
“Dude, what happened?” I demanded. “Tell me now!”
“Look, man, I was just trying to get some cash.”
“I don’t understand, you were getting beer…what happened to Leo?”
I tried to slow my mind, but all I could think about was Leo. Shane shook his head and repeated himself. “We gotta go. The cops are gonna be here in a minute, dude.”
“I’m not leaving him!” I roared, my voice rising in anger.
Denial washed over me as I took a last glance at December, my hand reaching for the door handle at the same time. I shook my head, and opened the door, my feet hitting the pavement at a dead run.
Chapter 1
THE LETTERS
Wolfe,
Hey.
I can’t believe it’s been a year. When I saw you at your sentencing hearing, I wanted to crawl across that barrier and hug you so hard. I cried the whole time, I’m pretty sure you heard me. The entire court room probably heard me.
I owe you so much, Wolfe. I don’t know how I’ll eve
r repay you. I don’t have anything, as you well know. God, I don’t even have my brother anymore. Sometimes, it doesn’t seem real. And yet, at other times, it’s so real it’s like a knife that’s buried deep and I can’t get it out of my heart. That’s how it feels most days. I guess the other feeling is really just numbness.
I wonder if you ever feel like that?
I wonder how you are all the time. I think about you all the time. When I’m not thinking about the baby, I guess.
He’s so cute, Wolfe. You’d love him. He just started smiling. He tries to hold his head up, but he can’t do it for very long and it just wobbles. It’s kind of funny. I wish you could see it. It makes the pain of childbirth all worth it. I wish you could have been there. Shane said he couldn’t handle all the blood and stuff, so he waited down the street at the bar until it was all over.
I named him Leo. So, now there’s another Leo in the family.
Shane keeps calling him Bud, which kind of bugs me, but that’s okay.
I’m going to send a picture of us with this letter.
Man, having a baby is so hard. I always heard people say that, but I guess you don’t really know how hard something is until you do it. It’s exhausting. I hardly ever sleep.
Look at me, complaining. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t complain, not to you, of all people.
I can’t imagine how hard it must be for you to be in there. I wish I could turn the clock back to that night and insist we never stopped at that station.
FOREVER DECEMBER: GODS OF CHAOS MC (BOOK 15) Page 1