Leave Me Breathless: The Ivy Collection

by KL Donn

  He waves as soon as he enters the door and slides into the seat across from me. “Wow. You must have been up all night in order to beat me here.”

  “I knew you’d still find a way to bust my balls.”

  “Well, they need busting for ignoring me for so long,” he quips back. He removes his baseball cap, tossing it into the chair next to him, and rubbing his eyes. He looks like he just crawled out of bed. His t-shirt is wrinkled, like it was wadded up and stuffed somewhere. The collar is stretched to the max.

  “You look like you lost a fight with a hamper. Do you not know how to fold clothes when they come out of the dryer?”

  “Ha, ha. This is courtesy of Tia, and I promise to spare you the details.” His wiggling eyebrows tell me enough to make me lose my appetite. I roll my eyes and reach for the menu.

  The waitress refills my coffee and brings one for Todd then takes our order.

  “So have you thought any more about hiring Tia?” His looks up from his phone with hopeful eyes, and I feel like a shitty brother for crushing him.

  “I’ve decided to handle it myself. It’s my legal issue, my fans, and my brand. It should come from me.”

  He drops his phone on the table so hard it smacks and spins, causing people close to us to stare.

  “That’s about the stupidest fucking thing you could do. I think you’re wrong in making this move.” He slouches down in his chair and shakes his head back and forth in disbelief. He quickly sits up again and taps the table with his forefinger. “Where are you going to find the time to do this with soccer camp, your own practice schedule, and weekend games for you and the camp team? You’re insane, Ian. Tell me this is a joke!”

  “A joke? You think my career tumbling down around me is a joke? Losing hundreds of thousands of dollars is a joke? You think me wanting to fix my own problems that I caused is a joke? Thanks for having my back, little bro.” I can’t even eat now, so I stand, throwing a twenty on the table. “Thanks for letting some good pussy come between us. I thought we were stronger than that. And by the way, you never apologized to Neenah and Dane. Do it. They’ll be at a pool party at my place on Saturday. Mom will be there too. Please show up and do what you need to do to make things right.” My hip accidentally bumps the table as I turn to leave, and his coffee spills over from the rim. I watch him jump up before it runs into his lap. He starts patting it with napkins. I don’t even care enough to help him clean it up.

  My ride home is full of all of the words I should’ve said to him. I snarl and growl out all of the pent-up anger inside me in the form of a full-blown conversation with absolutely no one. When I can’t think of anything else to say, I take a few deep breaths to calm down. How pathetic am I?

  July 4th is finally here.

  After a hectic week of party preparations, I’m happy the grass is trimmed, the pool is clean, and somehow, the news crews have disappeared. Kind of makes me believe in miracles again.

  My mom arrives early to help me with last minute party stuff and greets each guest as they arrive. She’s usually not a people person. But today, she’s smiling and laughing, truly enjoying her job as hostess as she directs everyone through to the backyard. I’m glad to see that she’s coming more and more out of her shell. It’s a huge difference compared to fifteen years ago. I hope Neenah comes, so she can see that a good life is possible after one filled with so much violence.

  My teammates arrive, and the only kids I don’t see here are Ian and Dane. Everyone is laughing, swimming, and splashing around. I duck inside the house to call her.

  “Hey,” she says softly. “Sounds like there’s a party going on somewhere nearby?”

  “There is actually. I was hoping you two were coming.”

  “We were…until I had to tell Dane where we were going, and he freaked out on me. He’s afraid of your yard now because of the police incident. Apollo is lying on him to calm him down.” She sighs heavily into the phone.

  “I’m coming over.” I dart outside and sneak through the back gate. Within a few minutes, I’m walking through her back door.

  I stop dead in my tracks when my eyes take her in. Her curly hair is hanging loose, but her sunglasses have it pushed back from her face. Her freckles are sun-kissed and glowing. She’s got on a t-shirt that says, ‘Independent Woman’. It’s tied in a knot at her waist, showing just enough tanned belly for my dick to twitch, and she’s sporting a pair of cut-off jean shorts that hug every curve she has perfectly. My God, she’s a beautiful woman. My mouth goes dry, but my palms start to sweat just being in the same room as her. My eyes meet hers, and the sadness in them wraps around me. She points to the den, and I go in that direction.

  Apollo is still lying on top of Dane, and his tail is wagging furiously while he licks Dane’s face. Little Ian sits on the sofa, watching cartoons. Both of them look at me when I clear my throat.

  “Hey, Coach,” Ian calls out.

  I take a seat next to him.

  Dane rolls Apollo off him and stands, coming over to join us.

  “Hey, boys. There’s a party next door, and I’d love for you guys to come over. We need a few more cool kids over there.”

  Ian decides to be the spokesman for them. “We’re coming. We’re just being fashionably late.”

  Neenah chuckles behind me, and I pretend to cough to hide my laughter. I peek over at Dane, and his eyes are wide with panic.

  “Dane, I just want you to know I specifically told the police they aren’t allowed at my house ever again. I promise you they won’t be coming. It’ll be safe and gun free. I’ll be there to protect you from flying Frisbees, runaway soccer balls, and any flying bugs that happen to crash the party. Plus, you’ll have your mom, Ian, and Apollo with you– your bestest buddies in the whole world. How about it? Wanna come over to my party?”

  He nods ever so slightly, and Apollo leans over and licks his leg in assurance that everything’s going to be fine.

  “Let’s go then. Last one to the back gate is a rotten soccer player,” I shout out. Dane scoops up Apollo’s leash from the floor, and they bolt out the back door with Ian chasing behind quickly.

  “Thank you,” Neenah says warmly. She picks up their bag while I turn off the television.

  “My pleasure. I couldn’t let them be the only ones to not come to the party. I’ll feel bad.”

  When we catch up to them, they both tell me that Apollo was last. I look down to completely oblivious puppy eyes. “Well, Apollo. You’re off the team. We can’t afford to have rotten soccer players, but we’ll keep you on as team mascot.” I look over at the boys as we leave through their gate. “How does that sound?”

  “Yay!” they both cheer.

  When I enter in the code and push the gate open, they take off running to join the others. I continue holding it open for Neenah, and she steps through waiting for me to close it again. Her hand reaches quickly for her belly and she releases a long, ragged breath.

  “You’ll be all right. Deep breaths.” My hand finds the small of her back, and I escort her into the crowd of people one step at a time. I steer her over to one of the patio tables set up and seat her next to my mother. “Neenah Wells, this is my mother, Laura Legend. Mom, this is Neenah Wells, my neighbor.”

  “It’s nice to meet you, Neenah.” My mom smiles and nods. “Would you like some tea?”

  “It’s nice to meet you too. And tea would be lovely. Thank you.”

  Mom proceeds over to the drink table and scoops some ice into a glass then carries it back to the table, pouring Neenah some tea from her own personal pitcher that she brought from home.

  “Oh, Neenah, watch out. My mom’s tea is well-known for throwing you into a stupor and making you need a twelve-step addiction program when you come down from the sugar buzz.”

  “It sounds perfect,” she says. Her pink tongue darts out from her mouth slowly and licks her lips in anticipation, while my heart hammers in my chest and my dick goes ramrod straight in my board shorts.

  “Oh
hush, now. You’re not too old or big for me to embarrass you. Did you forget I’ve got years of baby stories I could tell?”

  I turn away immediately and see Mikael over at the grill, slapping burgers down. “It’s burger time. I’ll be back soon.” I leave before either of them notices my hard bulge and sneak into my kitchen. I pop an ice cube into my mouth from the freezer and think of Antarctica. Then I put my grilling apron on and tie it around me before grabbing the serving platter and heading out to help Mikael.

  Every now and again, I glance up and check on Neenah. No, I take that back. It’s not checking on her. I know she’s safe in my back yard. It’s more like refueling my visionary needs. Damn it. I just want to stop and take her in under no time limits. I know I fell hard and fast for her, but there’s something about her. The sadness in her eyes makes me want to make her laugh. I want to erase all the bad days she’s ever had and fill them up again with good stuff. Great stuff. Fucking phenomenal stuff.

  She needs a do-over in life. Fuck, everybody needs at least one re-do. A chance to turn the clock back and say the right thing, do a diferent thing, or maybe even walk away.

  She throws her head back and laughs. I can hear her voice all the way over here with kids screaming between us. She tilts her head slightly and looks at me over her shoulder. Her nose wiggles in amusement, and I know I must be the topic of conversation.

  My mom and some man at the table with them who I don’t know are all laughing. That must be Roger. Mom’s hands are moving more than her lips, so I know she’s having a great time.

  “Time to eat. Line up and grab a plate.” I set the tray of hamburgers and hot dogs down on the tables just as the kids gather round. I scoop up the chicken from the grill that I made for Neenah and Dane, wrap it in some tin foil, and walk it over to them.

  I take a seat next to her and slide the aluminum foil packet to her. “These are for you and Dane.”

  She looks at me with a scared expression, then the whole table bursts out laughing. My shoulders drop when I realize I’ve been the center of conversation.

  “Mom told you the story about the mouse, didn’t she?”

  Neenah wipes a few laughing tears from her eyes. “Yes, she’s been delighting me with stories of your heroics since the age of two. She’s a great storyteller and would be a great writer.”

  “She’s my Wonder Woman,” I add, reaching across and squeezing her hand.

  “Ian has always been my rock of support. It’s just a shame that he’s had to be,” my mom admits with a touch of melancholy to her voice.

  The muscles in my back tense up as the mood shifts in conversation. I try to lighten it by introducing myself to Roger. “Hi, you must be Roger?” I extend my hand, and he shakes it.

  “Yes, it’s nice to finally meet you,” he says warmly.

  I look at my mother. Her eyes are shining. I don’t think I’ve seen her this happy, erasing my need to warn this guy of what will happen if he hurts her. I have a feeling he’s just as smitten as she is.

  Neenah plays with the aluminum packet with her fingers, swirling it around in circles on the table. “It’s grilled, free-range chicken breasts with salt, pepper and some other herbs I didn’t want to marinate it in anything with preservatives.”

  “Thank you. I appreciate that, but you didn’t have to go to the extra trouble. One chemical meal wouldn’t have been an issue. I think.” She turns and looks for Dane, who’s in the side yard playing soccer with Ian and some other boys. “I’m going to have to drag him away from playing to eat. I’ll be right back.” She excuses herself to get him.

  I watch her walk away then turn to my mother. Her eyebrow is quirked high in curiosity. “What?”

  “So, she’s the one,” my mother says. It’s not a question but a statement.

  “What are you talking about?” I grin and shrug my shoulders in a half-assed attempt to give this conversation less importance. I don’t want her making a big deal of anything.

  “C’mon, Ian. I wasn’t born yesterday. Small, furtive glances to check on her, cooking special food for her son’s diet, and the way you longingly watched her walk away. I see it. Don’t get me wrong. I approve. She’s wonderful.” Her voice trails off though like she has more to say.

  “But what? I know you have more to say. Let’s hear it.”

  “She mentioned that you told her my history. Our history.” Roger reaches for her hand and holds it. She smiles at him and nods.

  “I can sense that she’s lived a similar life. She hinted to it. I’m not going to tell you to be careful. I know you can handle it, but I want you in her life for the right reasons. You can’t save everyone.”

  “You’re right. You don’t need to worry about me. I’m not charging up like a white knight, making all her problems disappear. She saved herself and is perfectly capable of continuing to do that. I’m here to keep reminding her that she can do whatever she wants to do when the demons in her mind tell her otherwise.”

  “Amen,” Roger says and brings my mom’s hand to his lips, kissing it.

  “Good, because that’s exactly what I told her,” my mom replies.

  26

  Neenah

  I arrive at our stretch of sidewalk from dropping Dane off at camp and can’t find a place to park.

  I park next to Amy as she pulls signs and a cooler from her trunk. “What’s going on? This is crazy,” I ask, gesturing to all the extra cars while walking over to hers.

  “You didn’t see your interview on The Today Show yesterday? They turned it into a five-minute segment. You were the star, and I loved everything you said.” She claps giddily.

  “What? The Today Show? I mean The Today Show with Willie Geist on the weekends? I feel sick.” My hand reaches for my stomach, and I fear I won’t be able to keep my breakfast down.

  “Yes. That Today Show. It was amazing. You did a wonderful job. You were fierce and passionate about what we’re doing here to support Ian and the team.” She wraps her arm around my shoulders and hugs me sideways being careful not to jostle the baby hanging on her belly. “I wouldn’t have been that eloquent. You were meant to be our representative, and I’m proud of you.”

  I give her a side glance which says I doubt her words and look at baby P.J. sleeping in his papoose. “Are you sure you should be here? You just gave birth last week,” I ask, taking a moment to pull my signs from the rear hatch.

  “I’m fine. Little P.J. sleeps all day, and I’m already stir-crazy, especially with Donnie being home. I need to do more than clean the house, fold laundry, and be a human cow.”

  We gather everything up and head toward the crowd.

  Wow. Our little anti-protest has swelled. There are new demonstrators everywhere, and they’ve brought their own signs. The number of reporters and media in general has increased as well. We’re making an impact.

  “Great piece on The Today Show that you did, Neenah,” someone says to me. Others comment or pat my back as I pass by. I’m going to have to take a break and watch it at some point.

  “Thank you.” That’s about all I can say. My gut is churning. Five-minute segment? On national TV? If I have any luck at all, I pray Julia or no one from Justin’s family saw it. They’ll know exactly where to find me. I better pack up a few things, just in case.

  About an hour into our demonstration, I take a break to watch the segment on YouTube. While searching for it, I mentally walk through a checklist of the items I’ll need to pack up when I get home. I watch the clip and have a mild panic attack at how closely the camera man, Mike, zoomed in on my face. My heart drops to the pit of my stomach, and I feel sick again. I did most of the talking. They didn’t edit out one single word. My mouth goes dry, so I walk over to refill my bottle at the coolers. I spill most of it thanks to my hands shaking. As I sip the cool water and try to calm down, the protest crowd across from us takes on a silent chill. I look up. The news crews are swarming toward us. At the edge of the crowd, I see her. Julia. Behind her are Robbie and Will, J
ustin’s brothers who never liked me. Julia has her arms crossed over her chest; a sinister smile graces her lips.

  I drop my bottle on the grass and run to Amy. “Amy, I have to go. Please take Dane and Apollo to your house. I promise I’ll come get him later and explain everything.”

  She takes note of my shaking hands and quivering voice then grabs my arms. “Neenah, what’s wrong. Talk to me.”

  “Just take Dane and Apollo with you. Don’t let anyone else have him. No one! I mean no one! Be careful.” I pull my keys out of my pocket, and I run as fast as I can to my car, tearing out of the lot, heading in the opposite direction of my house in case they’re following me.

  I pull in behind a bank a few blocks away and watch to see if anyone is following me. After ten minutes, I don’t see anyone, so I head home, taking all back streets.

  Arriving home, the first thing I do is pull our bags from the closet and start packing up Dane’s clothing and shoes. I stuff a few of his soccer balls and toys into another bag. He doesn’t have much. I quickly move on to my room doing the same. I race through the bathrooms, throwing everything into shopping bags.

  When I’m finished upstairs, I move the bags downstairs and pull boxes in from the garage. I clear out the pantry and refrigerator because who knows if we’re coming back. I clear all of my work files on Maggie’s computer and move them to Dropbox. I toss the mail into my bag and log onto the USPS website to place a hold on our mail delivery. I have no idea where we’re going, but I know we can’t stay here.

  My phone rings, and I see it’s Amy calling. I swipe across to answer it.

  “Are you all right?” she asks before I say ‘Hello’.

  “I’m okay. Tell me you have Dane with you?” I command.

  “Yes, I have them both. We’re leaving the complex now.”

  “Don’t let anyone see Dane, especially the protesters. They can’t find him,” my voice shrieks in panic.

  “Who? The people at the protest? Can I send Donnie to help you?” Her worried voice carries through the phone.