All We Never Knew

by Elena Aitken

  “Is there a reason why we’re sitting out here?” She wiggled her eyebrows with interest. Or more specifically, nosiness.

  She laughed and waved Maren’s question away. “It’s not very interesting.”

  “Bullshit.” Maren crossed her leg over her knee and leaned forward, ready to hear a story that wasn’t her own. “Besides, I told you something.” She conveniently ignored the fact that she’d completely forgotten to tell Jessica her news until only a few minutes ago. She wasn’t being a very good friend, but at least she could redeem herself. “And please,” Maren implored. “Tell me something to take my mind off…well…everything right now.”

  She must have seen it on Maren’s face that she needed a distraction, and Maren’s love for her neighbor grew a little bit more when instead of pressing her to talk about the baby, Jessica only nodded and said, “I had a date last night.”

  She shouldn’t have been surprised, what with the strange car out front and all, but still, Maren swallowed hard to keep from choking on her tea.

  “Don’t look so shocked.” Jessica laughed. “I told you I was going to start dating again.”

  “You did. But…I guess…I didn’t…is he still in there?” Maren gestured to the house behind her, despite the fact it was an obvious question and she most definitely already knew the answer.

  “He’s still sleeping. I thought I’d take a minute to water the plants before waking him up.” She winked and Maren couldn’t help but laugh at her implication.

  “I’m not going to lie, Jessica. I’m a little surprised.”

  She shrugged. “Look, I’m not going to pretend that I’m one of those women who has a big list of rules when it comes to dating, like no kissing on the first date.”

  “That’s fair.” Maren nodded and put her tea down on a little wicker table next to a potted geranium. “But…”

  “Going home on the first date?” She looked at Maren pointedly. “Because that’s what you’re going to ask, right? Why I would go home with a guy on the first date.”

  There was no point beating around the bush and Jessica didn’t seem to be offended, so Maren nodded. “Yes.” She sat back in her chair. “It just doesn’t seem like something you’d do.”

  Jessica laughed again and Maren couldn’t help but notice the new lightness to the sound. She looked happier. Almost carefree. “Don’t I know it,” Jessica said. “And I’ll be honest. I was definitely not planning on things going as quickly as they did. But we’ve been talking for a few weeks on the phone and then when we met up last night, it was just…well, it was fun. And easy. And I actually found myself having a good time.”

  Maren smiled as she listened to her friend. She’d never put much thought into the so-called rules of dating after divorce. Of course, she’d never had to.

  “And I don’t know if anything will come of it,” Jessica continued. “Probably not. But I’m okay with that.”

  “You are?”

  She nodded, the smile on her face larger than Maren had seen in a really long time. “I really am. Because you know what?”

  “What’s that?”

  She leaned forward and stage-whispered, “It was the best sex I’ve had in years. And let me tell you how bad I needed that.”

  Maren threw her head back and laughed. For the next thirty minutes, the weight of the last few days lifted as Maren laughed with her friend and neighbor and listened to more details of her date than she probably ever needed to hear.

  Rylee

  “I’m really glad we’re doing this.” Sienna flopped down on her mattress so that she was almost nose-to-nose with Rylee, who’d already been at her house for over an hour. And in that time had told her at least four times how glad she was that they were having a sleepover.

  “I know,” Rylee said, trying not to roll her eyes. “You keep telling me.” She felt like shit the second she said it and not just because the smile on Sienna’s face dipped. Not much, but enough that Rylee noticed the hurt there. Filled with guilt for not being a better friend, Rylee put a bright smile on her face. “And I’m totally glad we’re doing it, too.”

  Her smile came back but Rylee still felt like a jerk.

  “I thought maybe we could do something really fun tonight.” Sienna rolled over on the bed until her feet landed on the other side. Rylee propped herself up on one elbow and watched while she crossed the room and started to dig through her desk drawer.

  Her interest piqued, Rylee sat all the way up and crossed her legs. “Don’t tell me you snuck a bottle of your mom’s vodka?”

  Sienna spun around so fast, her blonde hair flicked around her face comically. “What?”

  Judging by the look on her face, it was definitely not vodka that she had in her desk. Rylee chuckled. “So…not vodka then?”

  “Oh my God, Rylee. Are you serious?”

  “No.” She wasn’t. Not really. She knew Sienna was a good girl. Hell, she was a good girl. They weren’t the type of kids who went to parties, smoked or vaped or fooled around with alcohol—of course, they knew kids who did it—but it had never been something they’d been into.

  Not really.

  Except…when Brice asked her to swipe that bottle of her mom’s wine. There was that. And Rylee had tried it and she’d liked it. Well, not really. But she had liked the thrill of it. Maybe it was the fact that she’d snuck out with him and was already feeling brave. Or maybe she just didn’t want him to think she was a wimpy loser if she didn’t try it. Whatever it was, it didn’t matter because the taste hadn’t been that terrible. But it wasn’t just the taste. It was the way the wine warmed her up from the inside and made her feel good. Kind of happy and fun. She couldn’t even explain it.

  “Good. Because you know I don’t have any vodka in here.” Sienna shook her head and laughed. “My mom would—”

  “Except.” Rylee interrupted her before she realized she was doing it. “Have you ever tried it? I mean…I know your mom would kill you. So would mine, but…” She wasn’t really sure how to finish the statement, so she let her voice trail off as she picked at a loose thread in the comforter beneath her.

  “Rylee?”

  Sienna had left her desk, abandoning whatever it was she’d been looking for a moment before. “Have you had a drink before?” Sienna sat next to her on the bed. Rylee scooted over to make room for her. “I mean, a real drink,” she clarified. “Not like a sip of your parent’s.”

  Rylee looked at her best friend and contemplated lying to her again. She’d been her best friend forever. They told each other everything. Well, until lately. But look what happened when she didn’t. She’d more than learned her lesson there.

  “Will you hate me if I tell you the truth?”

  “I’ll hate you if you don’t.”

  Rylee’s lips twisted up in a smile. “I drank some wine,” she admitted. “With Brice.”

  Sienna’s mouth fell open, but she recovered from her shock quickly. “I can’t believe—”

  Rylee held up a finger. “You said you wouldn’t hate me.”

  “I don’t.” She smacked her finger down. “But I’m still surprised. And a little pissed. How could you not tell me?”

  “You can’t be pissed about that.” Rylee shook her head quickly. “Technically, it was the same night as the kiss and you already got mad at me for that. Besides, there’s nothing else to tell. I promise.”

  “You promise?”

  “I totally do.”

  Sienna thought about it for a minute and then her face split into a smile. “Tell me about it,” she said. “All of it.”

  So Rylee did. For the next few minutes, in dramatic detail, she recounted every moment of the night of her mom’s party when she met Brice in the park. The way they’d climbed to the top of the slide and sat side by side. Used to drinking, Brice drank most of the wine, while she’d only had a few sips. Just enough to feel warm and a little giggly. But it was the kiss that she focused on telling Sienna about. How soft his lips were when they press
ed to hers. The smell of cinnamon that filled her when he was close. The way her stomach flipped upside down and twisted in on itself all at the same time.

  “So basically it was pretty amazing and I should try it?” Sienna giggled, but Rylee could tell she was serious.

  “Absolutely you should.” Excited and filled with the best idea ever, Rylee bounced on the bed. “Brice has some really cool friends and—”

  “Do not set me up.” Sienna held up her hands and shook her head, but then she stopped. “I mean…do you think Cole Benson is seeing anyone?”

  She couldn’t help it. Rylee squealed and threw a pillow at her.

  “Is that a yes or a no?”

  “That’s a there’s only one way to find out.” Before Sienna could stop her or change her mind, Rylee lunged for her phone and started texting Brice.

  “What are you doing?”

  She glanced over her shoulder at her best friend with a wicked grin on her face. “What do you think I’m doing?” She hit Send on the text she’d just composed. “I asked Brice what they were up to. He said he was going to be hanging out with the guys tonight.”

  “Oh my God.” Sienna fell backward on her bed and they both collapsed in giggles.

  It would be so great if Sienna started dating Cole. Then they could all hang out and Rylee wouldn’t feel like she was being pulled in a million directions. It was the perfect solution. How had she never thought of it before?

  A moment later, a text came in from Brice.

  * * *

  Hanging at Mason’s. Coming?

  * * *

  “He wants to know if we want to go over to Mason’s.” Rylee didn’t phrase it as a question but she really wanted Sienna to say yes. Of course, she loved her girl time with Sienna, but now that the idea of setting her friend up with one of Brice’s was in her head, that was definitely a focus. Besides, she could really go for some attention from Brice, too. And really, it was still early.

  “Now?” She’d sat up and looked at Rylee as if she’d gone completely crazy.

  “Why not now?” Rylee shrugged. “It’s only ten.”

  “Exactly. My mom would never let us leave the house now.”

  A grin spread slowly across Rylee’s face and she leaned closer to her friend. “She never has to know.”

  Maren

  “Do you want me to open a bottle of wine?” Maren put the plate of roast chicken and grilled vegetables in front of Davis. It had been awhile since she’d had the energy, or desire for that matter, to cook a full meal, but after chatting with Jessica earlier, she’d felt better than she had in a long time. And surprising Davis with a delicious home-cooked meal seemed like a nice thing to do. Besides, it would ensure she kept him in one place long enough for them to talk.

  Davis looked up at her, an eyebrow cocked.

  “Not for me,” she added with a smile. “But for you. Just because I can’t drink doesn’t mean—”

  “No.” He shook his head. “Water is fine tonight.”

  He looked exhausted. Maren tried to convince herself that whatever was keeping him busy at the office was the likely culprit for his exhaustion, but she knew better. And the only thing she could do about that particular issue was talk about it.

  “Well,” she said as cheerfully as she could once she’d taken her seat across from him. “What are we going to do about all of this?”

  Davis choked on his bite of chicken before swallowing awkwardly.

  It wasn’t the smoothest transition to talking about the elephant in the room but as far as Maren was concerned, there wasn’t going to be any easy way to do it, so she might as well jump in.

  She pushed the glass of water closer to him and waited for him to regain his composure. “You mean, the….”

  “Baby,” she finished for him. “Yes. I think we’ve avoided any real conversation for long enough.”

  He straightened his shoulders, his entire body tense. “I told you. I needed time to process, Maren.”

  There was that word again.

  “I’m pregnant, Davis.” The words were simple; the implication of what exactly they meant—anything but.

  He nodded slowly and his lips came up in a wry grin. “Yeah,” he said, the tension melting out of him. “I got that.”

  “And I need you to finish processing already and be here with me because I don’t know if I can stand much more of—” To her ongoing annoyance, hot tears filled her eyes again. She swiped at her face. “I swear, I’ve already had enough of these hormones.” She dropped her head and took a series of deep breaths in an effort to pull herself together. She’d never cried so much in such a short time. Except maybe when her father passed away years earlier. But that was different. It was grief. Unexpected, life-changing, grief.

  Maybe it wasn’t all that different.

  “Hey.” Davis had moved from his chair to crouch next to hers. He put his hand on her leg and squeezed gently. “It’s going to be okay.”

  She wiped her eyes one more time and looked him straight in the eyes. “Is it?”

  “Of course it is. Why would you say that?”

  “Davis.” Maren sniffed as she finally managed to get her emotions under control. “I can say that because you’ve been completely catatonic since I announced it. You’re acting as if this baby is the end of the world. And I get it,” she added quickly. “It’s not what we planned and the timing isn’t awesome. But—”

  “No,” he interrupted her. “It isn’t.”

  He looked as if he had more to say, so she bit her tongue and waited.

  Finally, he spoke again. “I’m sorry, Maren. I really am. I shouldn’t have shut down the way I did. That wasn’t right and it definitely wasn’t fair to you.”

  “No.”

  “There’s just been a lot of changes all at once and I guess I needed a bit of time to wrap my head around it all.”

  “What else is changing?” It was a dumb question because the fact that they were going to have a baby was enough of a change all by itself. There really didn’t need to be anything else, but something about the way he said it gave her pause. “Is everything okay, Davis? I mean, you didn’t lose your job or anything, did you? Is that what’s going on at the office?”

  He was silent for such a long moment that real worry started to creep into her reality. “No,” he finally said. “Of course not. Nothing like that. It’s just…well, I guess I’m just being dramatic.”

  In all their years together, Maren had never not believed Davis before. As long as she could remember, he’d been her rock. Strong and dependable. He’d never given her a single reason to doubt him. Which was why Maren ignored the flutter of concern deep in her gut when he spoke. She was probably just projecting her own stress on him. After all, the situation was hard on everyone.

  “Okay,” she said after a pause. “But if there was anything else, you’d tell me, right?”

  “Of course.” He took her hands in his and held them to his lips, where he pressed a kiss on them. “Babe, everything is fine. Well…” He chuckled a little and together, they smiled. “Almost everything.”

  “This will be fine, too,” Maren said with a reassurance she didn’t fully believe. This baby was happening whether they wanted it to or not, and the sooner they wrapped their heads around that fact and embraced it as their new reality, the better off everyone would be. “It will,” she said more to herself than to him. “This is happening, Davis. And I need you to get on board with that.” She stared straight into his eyes. “I need you. We’re a team and I can’t do this on my own.”

  He was quiet for a moment but finally he nodded and smiled again. “Babe, I promise you. I’m right here next to you. You’ll never have to do this on your own.” He released her hands to put one on each side of her face so she couldn’t look away. “I’m on board, Maren. Totally and completely. I meant what I said. Everything is going to be okay.”

  This time when he told her things would be okay, she believed him. His words sent a rush o
f warm relief through her.

  Maren leaned forward until his lips met hers in a soft, gentle kiss that grounded her.

  “So…” She hesitated, almost afraid to say the words out loud. “We’re going to do this?”

  Davis smiled and nodded as he stood. “How could there be any other choice? We already know that we make perfect babies. This little guy or girl will be just as perfect.”

  Her heart swelled with her love for him and the fact that he was on exactly the same page. They hadn’t planned it, that much was true, but there’d be no other option.

  “That’s exactly how I feel.” But that wasn’t the only decision they had to make. “And what about the surgery?” When they’d left Doctor Harrison’s office, he’d given them a few weeks to talk it over and think about what they wanted to do when it came to the IUD that was currently sharing space with the fetus. If they chose to have it removed, they could lose the pregnancy. But if they left it alone, they risked losing the pregnancy anyway, or an infection, pre-term labor, or even the potential to put herself and her health at risk, too.

  “What does your gut tell you?”

  It wasn’t an answer, but Maren already knew how she felt. “I think we should go ahead and have the surgery. Doctor Harrison insists that despite the risks, it’s very safe, and I think we owe it to this baby to give him or her the best shot we can.”

  He nodded and bent down to press a soft kiss to her forehead. When he pulled away, he touched her lips gently with his fingertip. “I love you, Maren. Don’t ever forget that.”

  Her heart was full and peace settled around Maren as she took her husband’s hand. “How could I ever forget?”

  Rylee

  Kissing Brice was everything.

  It hadn’t taken long for Rylee to convince Sienna that they should sneak out and go over to Mason’s place. Especially considering he only lived a few blocks away. The fact that Cole was there, and wanted to meet her, sealed the deal. And, okay, maybe Rylee lied a little bit about the last part, but she really wanted to go. And it’s not like Cole wouldn’t want to meet Sienna. She was cute and blonde and smart. Maybe they’d hit it off and they’d all be able to hang out more.