Boss I Love To Hate

by Kayla, Mia

  Truth was, this was my fault. A lie that had snowballed into an avalanche, and now, I was asking him to lie for me again on our double date.

  We were out to lunch—Brad working on his computer, me staring out the window, people-watching. In typical weekday fashion, when I had been about to grab his lunch, he’d stood and clutched his laptop, saying he’d just go with me.

  I didn’t know what the point was. He had mounds of work to do and an unprecedented amount of meetings this afternoon until tomorrow morning.

  I peered over the table and took him in. Whenever Brad was concentrating really hard on something, his brow would twitch and then furrow and then twitch again. It took every ounce of energy not to reach out and smooth the lines.

  “Are you going to eat that?” I tipped my chin toward his food. “It’s getting cold.”

  His eyes slowly lifted from his computer. Then, he smiled, and my heart flipped and flopped and then went into cardiac arrest.

  Stop, stupid heart. Stop. Stop. Stop.

  “You’re absolutely right.” He shut his laptop and threw his attention on me, reaching for his turkey and ham and cheddar cheese sandwich. “You’re done with yours already?”

  I rubbed my belly and gave it one big pat. “Like, twenty minutes ago. Ate my cookie and yours, too, but you didn’t notice.”

  He chuckled when he looked down at his empty cookie bag.

  “I was still hungry. Sorry.” I lifted my shoulder to my ear, unapologetic. “Anyway, do you think you’re going to win over Titan Printing?” The current account he was still working on.

  It was the talk of the office, the big merger we foresaw happening.

  “I sure hope so. Our big meeting is this week. I think I’ve been distracted lately, and you know exactly why that is.”

  He playfully waggled his eyebrows, and there went my heart again, pitter-pattering without my consent.

  “Do you live to make me uncomfortable?” I crumpled up his cookie bag and placed it on the tray.

  “I live to make people, particularly you, accept the truths.” He placed his sandwich down. “And the truth is … I think you like me.” Though he didn’t sound too sure.

  I let out a peal of laughter. “I do. I like you enough to let you lie for me and be my pretend boyfriend at the wedding and even Friday night on our double date.”

  I smiled, all teeth, and he frowned.

  “Oh, yeah. I almost forgot about that.”

  There was no way I was showing up to the double date without him on my arm. “You’d better not.”

  He grimaced, studying me for a second as though he were debating on saying something. “Why are you doing this, Sonia?”

  “Well, you did say that you wanted a date, so …” If I could put a wink emoji at the end of that sentence, I would.

  Brad was not amused. “I meant, a real date, and don’t worry; I’m still collecting on that. But I mean, with Jean and Jeff. Why did you say yes?” He leaned in, elbows on the table, eyes intently fixed on me.

  There were so many things that ran through my mind. Why am I even wasting my time? It is over with Jeff, so why do I even care? But, ultimately, I was going on the date because I didn’t want to seem as though I wasn’t over him. I didn’t want him to think I was a loser. I wanted him to know that I was so much better off without him. I wanted him to regret ever leaving me.

  There were a slew of reasons, and it seemed as though Brad could read me so well.

  “Why does any of it matter? Unless …” His forehead crinkled, and he rubbed the back of his neck, his face thoughtful. “Are you not over him?” When I didn’t answer fast enough, he added, “Do you want him back?”

  Do I? Do I want Jeff back? I hated him for what he had done, how he’d left me, possibly cheated, yet why was it so hard to just forget about him and move on?

  “You do, don’t you?” His voice was whisper soft, and his face flipped like a deck of cards—surprise at first, disdain, and then ultimately hurt.

  “No. Of course not.” It was the truth, wasn’t it? How could I possibly want him back after he’d left me the way he did, so easily, so brokenhearted? But, if I didn’t want him back, why couldn’t I get over the fact that he’d left me?

  He stared at me far too long. After a beat, he stuck his laptop back in his bag, stood, and rubbed the back of his neck. “I have to get back to the office. I have to prep for this meeting at two and the meeting with Titan later this week.”

  His abrupt change in mood gave me whiplash.

  “Is something wrong?”

  He sighed and averted his stare. Not able to read his eyes unnerved me.

  “No. Just have a lot of things to do.” His standoffish demeanor, the one that hadn’t made an appearance in a while, was back in full force.

  Normally, I’d call him out on it, but I didn’t because I was afraid he’d continue to ask me questions that I wasn’t ready to answer.

  We walked back to the office in silence, side by side but as though we didn’t know each other, an odd contradiction to how we’d been since the wedding. When we were finally in the office, I rushed behind my desk. He was about through his office doors when he about-faced and walked straight toward me.

  He dropped his bag on the ground and placed both fists on my desk, leaning in. “I have to say this because you can’t see it, but he’s just not good enough for you. He’s just not, Sonia.” The way he uttered my name had my heart staccato stopping again. “You’re wasting energy on someone who isn’t worth a second of your time. If you love someone deeply, care for them infinitely, then you would never, ever let them go. I know I wouldn’t.” His eyes were feverish and bright, and there was an underlying desperation in his tone.

  I could read all his emotions with his one look, and shit, it intimidated me.

  We locked eyes for longer than what was comfortable. I didn’t know what to say. I had no words because Brad was right.

  But Jeff had hurt me, and I didn’t want him to know how much, which was why I just needed to drag this charade out for just a little bit.

  The worst thought popped into my head. “Are you not going with me tomorrow night?”

  He shook his head, and then his tone turned sharp. “Yes. I already agreed, and I’m not one to back out.”

  Then, he marched to his office and slammed the door shut.

  My chest tightened. The last time I remembered that door being shut was weeks ago, before everything had changed between us. Even when he was taking conference calls, he’d leave it open. There was no one around me, and no one could hear him, so it didn’t matter.

  I hated this side of him. Funny how I’d prayed and hoped everything would go back to normal between us, and now that it was, I wished it weren’t. Because I liked our new relationship—the cordial one, the fun-loving one.

  I knew this was my fault, this change in him.

  I should have been careful what I wished for.

  Chapter 18

  Brad

  I was tapping my pen against my desk, looking out my office window. People dotted the streets below me, like little ants in an ant farm.

  Jeff has nothing on me. Nothing. I compared every physical feature between us and knew I one-upped up him substantially—in height, in broadness, in weight. But, even though I repeated that mantra in my head, I knew it wasn’t true.

  He had everything because, at one time, even possibly now, he had Sonia’s heart, and because of that, he’d won.

  The knock on my door had me peering up.

  “Hey.” Charles walked in, unbuttoned his suit jacket, and strolled to my desk with the confident swagger he’d been born with.

  Better Charles than Mason. I hadn’t talked to Mason since our fight. He was an asshole, and I was waiting for my epic apology. Knowing Mason, it would come. Later. Way later. But I’d decided I was going to wait this one out.

  “You look like we already lost the deal.”

  I straightened, flattening out my hair. I’d run my han
ds through my hair one too many times, and my hair was a disheveled mess. I’d undone my tie hours ago. If how I looked was any indication of how I felt, I looked like shit.

  I shook my head. “We have this deal in the bag. We’ll be giving them a little over fair market value. There’s no way they can resist. Unless he’s an idiot and he doesn’t care about his three hundred employees.”

  This was an easy decision for the company. They hadn’t been making their bottom line and weren’t as profitable as they had been in prior years. Instead of closing shop completely, we could integrate their company into Brisken Printing Corp.

  He plopped down in a chair in front of my desk with that Charles, older brother, knowing look in his eyes. “How did it go?”

  “The meeting is tomorrow and I’m prepared.”

  “That’s not what I was talking about.”

  I rubbed at my temple, knowing exactly what he had been asking about. I exhaled. “Not good.”

  With Charles, there wasn’t any pretending, no beating around the bush, but it was as if my older brother already knew the answer to the question he’d asked.

  “We have another date tomorrow.”

  He nodded, pleased. “That’s a good sign.”

  I tried not to groan aloud. “Double-dating with her ex.”

  That pleased look disappeared. “Oh.”

  I flipped the pen over and over between my fingers and glanced out my windows again. The sun was shining, and the sky was blue. It was a perfect day, opposite to the storm happening in my life.

  What could I say that Charles couldn’t already read on my face?

  Defeat.

  “I don’t think she’s over him.” Saying the words out loud was like a fucking brick to my head.

  “So?”

  I let out a laugh. That was Charles, and maybe that was why he made a good CEO. Nothing was impossible for him. But didn’t he know I had already lost the fight before it even started? Maybe that was the reason she wasn’t giving me a chance, blaming it on work when it was really because her heart belonged to someone else.

  “Did she say that exactly?”

  I swirled my chair around. “That she was in love with her ex? No. But she couldn’t deny it either.”

  Charles lifted up a palm, his face incredulous. “Wait, is Brad giving up?”

  Nostalgia hit me directly in the chest, and I suddenly remembered Charles kicking my ass when I was twelve. I’d stolen his ex-girlfriend, thinking he was over her. He’d chased me into our backyard with our parents in the house. His eyes were begging for blood.

  Charles was taller, buffer, and stronger than me. Puberty had hit him early. He had me on the ground, his knee on my chest. I was all out of energy and full of guilt. I called defeat before I could even get the first punch in.

  “Are you a quitter now? Is that all you’ve got? You’re going to let me beat you, lying down?”

  He called me every derogatory name in the book to get me to toughen up.

  It had worked because I had flipped him over, my knee on his chest, and I hadn’t let up until he’d heard my whole apology and forgiven me.

  Talk about no choice in the matter. I’d had him pinned to the ground.

  “So, are you?” Charles said, breaking me away from the past. “Are you giving up?”

  Was I? This time was different though. I had known I could take Charles. Jeff, on the other hand, had history with her, and I couldn’t compete with that; therefore, he had me beat.

  “It’s like fighting to take over a company when the owner isn’t willing to give it up. The company isn’t for sale.”

  Charles laughed. “You are giving up then. I didn’t think it was in you.”

  I huffed and ran a frustrated hand through my hair. “You don’t get it. I can’t win if I’m not even in the race.”

  Charles’s eyes narrowed, challenging me. “Who took you out of the race?”

  “Her ex-boyfriend.” I threw up both hands, beyond exasperated.

  “What does he have on you?”

  “Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Maybe a law degree, but shit, I could get that if I wanted to. And, if that would win her over, I would. He doesn’t deserve her.”

  If Jeff had been stupid enough to let her go, then he hadn’t known what he had in the beginning.

  “Well then …” He lifted an expectant eyebrow. “Why don’t you jump back in the race?”

  “Charles …” My tone was tired, already defeated.

  “As I see it, you’re the one choosing to be out of the race. Sonia hasn’t said she’s still in love with him. And, even if she is, change her mind. An owner will sell his company for a price even if it’s not for sale.” He smirked, and years of being the older brother showed on his features. “Everyone has a price. The question is, how hard are you willing to fight to get what you want?”

  * * *

  Brad

  I didn’t emerge from my meetings until six o’clock. Sonia had been long gone since five. She’d usually tell me she was leaving, but I’d had my door shut, preparing for our meeting with Titan Printing.

  After I shut down, I jumped into my car and headed to her place. My mind should’ve been on this very important meeting that would add a twenty percent increase to our bottom line in the next few years, but it wasn’t. All that occupied my brain was the woman I’d been obsessing over. When the doorman told me she wasn’t in her apartment, I texted her.

  Where are you? We need to talk.

  There were so many things I needed to say, but I needed to say them in person.

  I tapped my head against the wheel.

  Come on. Come on. Come on. Text me back.

  A long minute later, my phone pinged.

  Sonia: Can this wait until tomorrow? I’m at my parents’ house.

  I didn’t respond to her text. I just reacted. I drove to her parents’ house like the stalker I really was, using what was saved on my navigation from our previous dinner.

  Rosa, Sonia’s sister, opened the door when I arrived. “Hey, Brad.” Her eyes widened right before she grinned.

  At least someone was happy to see me. I hoped Sonia would have the same reaction.

  “Hi, is Sonia here?” I shifted in my spot like a boxer ready to pounce. I wanted to barge in, given my normal lack of restraint, but remembered that her father had a gun. I needed to live through the next few minutes to say what I needed to say.

  “Yeah, let me get her. Come on in.” She opened the door wide for me.

  “No, I’m kind of in a hurry.” My fingers flexed at my sides, and I peered behind Rosa, getting a glimpse of the family party inside. “I can’t stay long. There’s just something I have to tell her.”

  “All right. One second.”

  My palms began to sweat, and I shifted with unease until she was right in front of me.

  Sonia walked through the door, forehead wrinkled and as beautiful as ever. She was still in her skirt suit, a gray color with a fit that hugged her slim figure and had me staring nonstop earlier in the day.

  “Brad?” She stopped mid-stride when she first saw me and then walked toward me until the door shut behind her.

  I cleared my throat. I had words, tons of them. I had practiced a speech in the car, making note of every reason she should give us a chance, ticking off reasons we would be good together, but, as I watched her stand there with all the questions in her eyes, my words got lodged in my throat.

  And so, I did what I wanted to. My hands threaded through her hair, and I tilted her head back as my mouth descended on hers. When I kissed Sonia, I never wanted to stop. I gave my all in that one kiss. Knowing what she had said earlier about not feeling a thing, this time, I wanted her to feel everything. I poured every single unsaid emotion into that one sweet kiss.

  She stiffened at first and then melted into me, and I claimed victory. My free hand held her at the waist, bringing her closer. She tasted divine and smelled of sweet strawberries. I concentrated on her bottom lip at first a
nd then the top, cherishing every bit of her. When her breathing hitched, I remembered we were in front of her house, and her dad had a gun.

  Instantly, I pressed my foot on the brakes.

  As I stared down at her, everything that I had been afraid of disappeared. I rested my head against hers, framing her face within both hands.

  I didn’t use the rehearsed speech that I’d made up in the car, but pure honesty gushed out of me in waves. “I like you, Sonia. I don’t know when it happened or how it happened, but it just did. And I know you’re unsure about me, about a possibility of us. Maybe it’s because you have feelings for your ex, or maybe you’re so afraid to be hurt again. I don’t know, but what I do know is … I’m not giving up on you or us, and I’m going to fight to make you see that we could be great together.” My eyes locked with hers, as I needed her to listen and understand. “Because what I feel for you, I’ve never felt for anyone else.”

  I tipped her chin with a gentle flick of my wrist, and then I kissed her again.

  When she pulled away from me, there was no sarcastic comeback. She simply stared at me with wonder and confusion and another emotion I could place because I recognized it—fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of our relationship changing. But, for her, I could imagine she was afraid of getting hurt again.

  Good thing I didn’t plan on hurting her.

  A giggle had us both peering up at the window. Her aunts and sisters and mother were all blatantly hovering behind the curtains.

  And the windows were open.

  “Get inside!” Sonia yelled, making the crowd scatter like ants. “Good God, is nothing a secret in this family?”

  Then, her mother opened the door and popped out her head. “Brad, are you staying for dinner?”

  I loosened my grasp on Sonia. “I’m sorry. I really should get going.” I’d already embarrassed myself, and I wanted to give Sonia time to think over everything I’d said.

  But then Sonia dropped her hand to mine and threaded our fingers together, smiling sweetly, and she uttered one word that made my evening, “Stay.”