Interlude

by D. Kelly

  A few innocent groans escape the staff. My crew is well-versed on how to act when Bastards and Dangerous are here. “I know, it’s disappointing you can’t fawn over them, but think of the tips you’ll earn. There is already a universal tip to be divided among all of the staff if the event goes off without a hitch. Anyone who steps out of line will forfeit that tip … and possibly their job. Trust me when I say you don’t want to do that. Now, to show you how much faith I have in all of you, Sasha has your Thanksgiving bonuses. See her before you leave tonight. I hope you all have a happy Thanksgiving.”

  A chorus of Happy Thanksgivings goes around, and they get back to work cleaning up.

  “One more thing,” I call out. “If something happens and you can’t make it Friday, you all know how to reach me. Please let me know as early as possible because I will have to bring in temps.”

  They resume their work, and Sasha wraps her arm around my waist and leans her head on my shoulder. “You’re a good man, Jordan. Someday, someone is going to be lucky to call you theirs.”

  “I don’t know about all that, Sash. Treat people like you want to be treated; it’s as simple as that. I know I can be a dick, but not to family, and you all are my family.”

  “Uh huh. Like I said, J … Lucky.” She kisses my cheek and releases me.

  “Sasha, remember—”

  “I know, I know, no fucking in the bar on Friday. Keep my legs crossed, blah blah blah. I can be professional, J. If you’d give me the bar manager position, maybe you’d realize it.”

  I’m going to give her the job when the time is right. Sasha has more than earned it, but I’m not quite ready to relinquish control of everything yet. “Actually, I was going to remind you the offer is open for you to come over to the beach house for the holidays. You can bring Allie too. I don’t like you being alone.”

  “I love you, but don’t worry about me. I won’t be alone now that Allie is here. We’ve already planned to cook a small dinner for two. Enjoy your time with your family. I know how much you cherish it.”

  Most of the staff is gone, and Allie and I are at the bar waiting for Sasha to finish in the restroom so I can lock up and walk them out.

  “I think this belongs to you.” Allie passes an envelope with her name on it across the bar to me.

  Pushing the envelope back, I reply, “Nope, that says Allie.”

  “Jordan, I appreciate you giving me this job, and I’m going to try not to let you down, but I haven’t even finished training. I don’t deserve whatever is in this envelope.”

  The no-nonsense expression she’s wearing is kind of sexy. I’ve never had an employee hand back a bonus before. “Maybe you haven’t yet, but you will. If you don’t, then I guess you won’t be receiving a Christmas bonus, will you?”

  With narrowed eyes, she slides the envelope back to me. “Then I’ll take the one I earn at that time. I don’t need your charity.”

  Sasha walks toward us and takes in the situation with a weary gaze. She’s smart to stand back while I deal with her friend.

  “The second you clocked in tonight, you became an employee. I don’t have bullshit stipulations in my bar. Nobody has to prove their worth for sick time, vacation time, or motherfucking healthcare, and you damn sure don’t have to work some arbitrary amount of days to get a bonus. If you don’t want it, Sasha can have two. Be ready to leave in five minutes. I’m going to go lock up my office.”

  After passing the envelope to Sasha, I storm off. I love Sasha, but her friend is going to push all of my buttons. Once I’ve set the alarm, we all walk out together. Sasha gets in her car, but Allie stays behind.

  “Jordan … I’m sorry about earlier. I’m not one to usually share my business, but Sasha said I should probably give you a heads-up. I just left a controlling fiancé and father. I’m not used to people being nice without expecting something in exchange.” She crosses and uncrosses her feet like she’s nervous.

  “The only thing I expect in exchange is for you to do your job. If you can manage that, we’ll be fine.”

  I open the door to my house, and Fat Bastard—a big, stray cat I picked up a while back—launches off the couch, circles my legs, and purrs. He’s ornery as fuck, but he’s gotten used to me. Even though I never pictured myself with a cat, I think we understand each other.

  He’s got a dry food dispenser, but he knows if he waits until I get home and purrs at my feet long enough, I’ll give in and get a can of the good stuff for him. I’ve always wondered if his old owners abused him. He was scared, timid, and hungry as fuck when he found me. Maybe I understood his fear because of some of the shit I went through as a kid, so I started feeding him. He lurked around on my porch for about a week and then followed me inside one day, and that was how I ended up a cat owner.

  My nieces love him, and the feeling is mutual. He might hiss and swat at some of the grownups, but he’s an entirely different cat when there’s a kid around.

  While I’m dishing out Fat Bastard’s food, my phone rings, and I hit the speaker phone button.

  “Hey, Ty.” A smile stretches across my face as I scoop out the food.

  “Hey, J. I’m just checking in to be sure you made it home okay.”

  Fat Bastard releases a loud meow as I place his dish on the floor. “Yeah, I’m here I’m—”

  “Feeding your mean cat. I can hear him.”

  I carry the phone over to the couch so I can take off my boots. “He’s not mean.”

  He snorts. “Keep telling yourself that,” Tyler says with a yawn.

  “Ty, you don’t have to stay up and call me each night. You have to go to work in a few hours. I’m a grown man and can see myself home safely.”

  “I couldn’t sleep. We need to talk about us and where we’re going with this relationship.”

  Here we go again.

  I lean back on the couch and exhale. “Do we have to define it? Can’t we just be in the moment for a while?”

  He’s silent for a long beat before answering. “Nothing is ever going to change, is it? I’m so fucking in love with you. I was kneeling at your feet a few hours ago and …”

  “Hang on. Don’t even say you blew me because you love me. We both know better than that. Also, there’s something you should know. My new waitress saw you going down on me.”

  “Shit,” he hisses.

  “Exactly. Look, Tyler, I can’t commit to anything more than a casual fling. If we continue down this road, you can’t keep popping up at the bar to mess around.”

  “I’m sorry.” His tone is softer, sadder even. “I know you don’t like your personal life mixing with your business. Maybe we need to take a break through the holidays. I know how much this time of year fucks with you. We can revisit this discussion after New Year’s.”

  Sadness wraps around me. As if he senses my shift in mood, Fat Bastard jumps onto my lap. “Yeah, maybe we can. You’re still welcome to come by Friday for the concert.”

  Tyler sighs. “I’ll think about it.”

  “Please do, and if you don’t come, be happy, Ty. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you.”

  “Hey, J,” Tyler calls out before I end the call. “I do love you, and even though you’ve never said the words, I know you love me too. If you need anything, call. I’m not giving up. I’m just giving you space.”

  There are so many things I want to say to him, but none of those things come out of my mouth. “Thanks, Ty. Happy holidays.”

  After hanging up, I make my way to my bed and strip down to my boxers. The cat has already taken his spot at the foot of the bed. I wish everything with Tyler wasn’t so complicated. He’s the closest thing to a relationship I’ve ever had. I do love him, but something has always held me back from telling him.

  I want more for him than someone as fucked up as I am. I don’t want him to spend the rest of his life with someone who thrashes around in bed with never-ending nightmares. He deserves to be with someone he can be pro
ud to take home to his family and who will be welcomed by them with open arms. Losing my family literally almost killed me, and knowing Ty would lose his because he loves me just doesn’t seem worth it. There has to be someone out there who is made for him—someone better than me.

  “What? Are you serious? Jordan, are you okay?” Sasha paces the living room at a frantic pace. She’s freaking me out. I haven’t seen her look this worried since she fled D.C. “Yeah, no I get it. Please keep me posted on Noah and Mel. I’ll run things until you get back.”

  Sasha nods her head as if he can see her, and she finally stops pacing, her wide eyes meeting mine. “If you need me for anything, I’m here. Anytime. You know that, J, right? Good, because I mean it. I love you. Please be safe.” She exhales and then tosses her head back and laughs. “Yes, I’ll take care of your bastard cat too. Anything for you.”

  Sasha tosses her phone onto the table and plops down next to me on the couch. “There was an incident at the bar tonight.”

  Bastards and Dangerous performed tonight, and security was increased tenfold at the last minute. Sasha told me it was because Jordan’s brother Noah has a batshit crazy stalker.

  “What happened?”

  “Noah, his girlfriend Amelia, AKA Mel, and their bodyguard were ambushed outside the club. Jordan, his brother Sawyer, and their bodyguard had just left. They got a distress call and came back just in time to save Noah and Mel. They’re in the hospital. They’ll be okay, thankfully, but J’s a mess.”

  I pull my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around them. “I can only imagine.”

  Sasha shakes her head. “I know you empathize, but this is a bit more complicated for Jordan. His past is his to tell, but what he went through makes our past look like a day at an amusement park. This is going to light his anxiety on fire.”

  Poor Jordan. I don’t have anxiety, but my mom did. It was awful to watch her struggle when it got bad.

  “How can we help him?”

  With a cocked brow, the corner of her mouth lifts into a small smirk. “We?”

  I brush invisible lint off my pants. “Of course, we. If I can help, I want to. He’s your best friend, Sasha, and that makes him important to me too.”

  “Allie, are you crushing on Jordan?”

  I choke back my laugh. “He’s hot, Sasha, but I just got out of a relationship. The last thing I need is to dive into a new one.”

  She rolls her eyes at me. “Please … you may have finally left Evan, but you haven’t been in love with him for a long time. His affair was the excuse you needed to get out of D.C. and be you for a change.”

  “And who would that be exactly?”

  Sasha shrugs her shoulders. “Whoever you want to be, Allie. That’s the beauty of it all. Be someone you never thought you could be. Write a book like Noah’s girlfriend did. Or become a lawyer like you wanted to when we were kids. Hell, be a sexually adventurous twenty-six-year-old woman and fuck all the men you’ve been missing out on the last six years. Whatever you decide, be authentic to you for a change. If that means fucking Jordan, go for it. Nothing should hold you back.”

  “Tyler might.”

  Dammit. Where did that come from?

  Sasha howls with laughter and stomps her feet. “I knew you liked him!”

  “I don’t know him enough to like him,” I counter, but she’s still laughing so hard she snorts.

  “Girl, please … this is me you’re talking to.” She composes herself and raises her eyes to meet mine. “Seriously, Al, Tyler isn’t an issue if you want to fuck J. Tyler is only going to be an issue if you fall in love with him.”

  “What’s their deal?” I reach for my water, and Sasha makes herself comfortable on the other end of the couch, mimicking my pose with her arms around her knees.

  “I don’t like to talk about Jordan behind his back, even with my best friend. There are a few things I can tell you though. J is fiercely loyal and will do anything for his friends and employees. He’s tough and isn’t an open book to many people. It takes time for him to warm up to someone. If he chooses to, you will have his loyalty for life. If you ever cross him … Well, just don’t ever do that.”

  “He’s not violent, is he?”

  Sasha shakes her head. “Nothing like that. Jordan just isn’t one for second chances. Tyler is the only exception I’ve ever seen to that rule. The most important people in Jordan’s life are his family, especially Sawyer. They share a … unique bond.”

  I have so many questions, but I have to be careful what I ask because Sasha will shut me down if she feels I’m being intrusive.

  “Do you think it’s hard for him to have such famous brothers and friends?”

  Sasha yawns and then stretches out her legs. “Nah, he loves them and only wants what makes them happy. He is excited this is their last year on tour though. He misses the fuck out of them when they’re gone all the time.”

  “And J doesn’t care that you and Sawyer …”

  “That we fuck occasionally?”

  I nod, and she smirks. “He’s not fond of it, but he knows better than to think we’d get attached to each other. Sawyer’s a good fuck, but that’s all. I think he’s got eyes on someone now too.”

  “Does that bother you?”

  “Allie, you know me better than that. There are plenty of dicks in the sea, and I’ve yet to take one for a drive that couldn’t be replaced with a new, sexier, longer-lasting model.”

  I laugh. “Only you, Sasha. Speaking of dicks though… what’s the deal with Tyler? Why is he the exception to Jordan’s rule?”

  Sasha taps her nose. “That is the million-dollar question. I figure J loves him, but there is something off with their dynamic.”

  “How so?”

  “I’ve never really figured it out. Tyler is good-looking, nice, he watches out for J, and he’s head-over-heels in love with the man. It’s like Prince Charming is wrapped up in this pretty package and Jordan can’t see him for what he is.”

  “Have you ever asked him why?”

  Sasha’s brows furrow as she considers my question. “It’s not my place, Allie. If Jordan wants to tell me, he knows he can. I’m exhausted. Now that we’re on bar duty until Jordan comes back to work, we should both get some sleep. It’s going to be a busy few days.”

  The next few days were busy but also enlightening. It was incredible to see Sasha in her element. She ran the bar as if it were her own. She shut down the press quickly and efficiently. Even though the incident happened four days ago, the bar was hopping with fans of Bastards and Dangerous—or BAD, as the world calls them—most of the time.

  Jordan is supposed to come back tomorrow, which is Wednesday, but Sasha isn’t holding her breath. She says he just doesn’t quite sound like himself yet. It’s hard for me to picture him so down, but I also haven’t known him very long.

  “Allie, I need a huge favor.”

  “Sure. What’s up?”

  “I completely zoned and forgot to feed Fat Bastard.”

  My eyes dart across the bar as I hiss, “That’s no way to talk about the customers. Where is he? I’ll take his dinner up and apologize.”

  Sasha laughs so hard, tears stream down her cheeks. “Oh my God,” she chokes out, but I’m not sure what is so funny.

  “Seriously, Sasha, that’s not nice.”

  “Sweet, sweet, Allie. It’s been so long, I almost forgot how precious you really are. Fat Bastard is Jordan’s cat.”

  My expression softens. I love cats.

  “Nope, don’t get that dreamy look in your eyes. That cat was created by Lucifer himself and somehow escaped the seventh circle of Hell and ended up as Jordan’s sidekick. He hates everyone except Jordan and little kids. He will hiss and growl …” She pauses and nods at my disbelieving face. “Yes, he will growl at you and toss up his paw like he’s going to claw out your eyeballs. He won’t actually do any of that. He’s all bark and no action, but I wanted to warn you.�
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  Sasha isn’t a pet person, so I know this cat can’t be that bad. “Give me the keys and text me his address.”

  “Thank you! You’re saving my ass. Go home after you feed him and call it a night. You’re not going to want to come back after dealing with that asshole anyway.”

  One of the girls at the bar who had a few too many looks up at me. “Oh, honey, it’s okay. We’ve all been there. Sometimes if you drop to your knees and blow him right off the bat, it avoids the whole argument.”

  I choke back a laugh. “Uh … thanks, I’ll keep that in mind.”

  With a little help from GPS, I arrive at Jordan’s place about ten minutes later. It’s a cute little house from what I can tell. Locking the car, I keep my phone in my hand until I’ve got the front door open.

  The living room light is on, for which I’m thankful, and a big orange and black cat comes strutting in from another room. He’s giant, but he’s so freaking adorable.

  “Hey, sweetheart. I bet you’re hungry, aren’t you?”

  Crouching down to the floor, I click my tongue at him. I swear he cocked a brow and is assessing me to see if I’m worthy. So far, no hissing, so that’s a good thing. He’s apprehensive, but I can win him over.

  Following Sasha’s instructions, I easily find the kitchen and his food. After emptying the can into his dish, I look around the room. My gaze lands on his dirty water bowl. Sasha has probably been filling it up but not cleaning it since she’s not a pet person.

  Once I’ve cleaned his dish and filled it with fresh water, the cat peruses it with an interested stare. I make my way back into the living room but feel bad about leaving him alone. He’s been alone for days, and so far, the mean cat Sasha described is nowhere in sight.

  Suddenly, he nudges against my legs, his strong purr reverberating up my body. He’s desperate for attention. It won’t kill me to sit with him for a few minutes.