I wanted to quit. It would be so easy to go home and continue my life. I could eventually meet a nice guy and forget all about Mercer. The chances of that happening were so slim that I knew I couldn’t do it. I would never forget Mercer. Even if I wanted to.
Just thinking about him had somehow produced his very scent. I inhaled deeply and paused. He naturally smelled like nature, like the very trees and earth around him wanted to cling to him as well. It was nature mixed with something manly, though. A unique smell that was just Mercer, it teased me. I sat up and then stood up, my head dizzy from inhaling so deeply, trying to get more of that scent.
There was no way that I had conjured up that strong of a scent. It had to be coming from somewhere in the room. I looked around, spinning as I did, trying to find Mercer. He had to be there. I hadn’t smelled that scent the first time I’d been there. At least not that I’d noticed. I’d been in mourning for Luke.
“Mercer. Are you here?” I felt stupid calling out to an empty room, but I was paying attention after that smell. I could feel him nearby.
More silence met me, but I wasn’t going to be deterred. Maybe I’d lost it, but maybe Mercer was really there. I didn’t think about what it meant—that maybe he was hiding from me and didn’t want to be found. I didn’t care what he wanted. I needed to see him.
I felt like I was going insane. The cabin was one room. How could he be there? I hurried back outside and pushed through brush and briar to circle around the cabin. By the time I made it back inside, I was scratched up and covered in stickers and thorns. Still, that smell tickled my nose. Still, there was no sight of Mercer.
“Come out. This isn’t funny.” I was pleading. I felt like crying and screaming, and maybe I would’ve if there weren’t neighbors who could’ve heard. “I’m just going to stay here until you come out.”
I still wasn’t sure that I wasn’t talking to myself, but when the front door shifted and Mercer stepped in, I felt the world shift under my feet. He was there.
Anger and relief twisted inside of me. I wanted to grab his face and kiss him, but more than that, I wanted to slap him for doing what he’d done. He should never have left me. I hurried across the room and did just that. My hand across his face felt good enough that I wanted to do it again. I wanted to make him hurt for scaring me. When I raised my hand again, Mercer caught my wrist and held it there.
“Stop it.” His voice was lower, rougher, like it hadn’t been used much at all.
His skin on my skin lit a fire in me, the same way it always did, but there was no follow through, the same way there never was. I jerked my hand away from him and then wrapped my arms around him, hugging him tight to my chest.
“Where have you been? You scared the hell out of me.”
He didn’t hug me back. Instead, he lightly pushed me away and crossed to the other side of the room. “You shouldn’t be here.”
“That’s all you have to say? I’ve been driving all over the country, looking for you, trying to make sure you’re okay, and that’s all you say? You’re an asshole.”
“Now you know. You can go.”
I shoved my hands through my hair, forgetting it was in a bun. The bun ended up loose and hanging off to the side, but I didn’t care. I was so angry at him. “No. I’m not going. You left without saying anything. You didn’t let us know where you were going. We didn’t even know if you were okay. You shouldn’t have done it.”
He twisted his head to the side, the same way he always did when he was getting angry at me. “You think I should’ve taken the time to write goodbye letters while I was fleeing the police?”
I glared at him. “There were plenty of other chances. You chose not to.”
“I chose to avoid prison for a crime that I didn’t commit.”
“I was worried. I thought you were going to…” I turned away from him, unable to say the words to his face. “I thought you were going to hurt yourself.”
“For fuck’s sake.”
“Don’t talk to me like that.” I spun back around to see him crouching in the corner, prying up some floorboards. “What are you doing?”
He ignored me and started pulling out stuff. A sleeping mat, a couple of bags, even an insulated box. I moved closer and watched as he opened the box and pulled a sandwich out. He was set up. With his skills, he could live just fine with the stuff he had there.
“How long have you been here?”
He settled against the wall and opened the plastic wrap around his dinner. “A while.”
“A while? How long is a while?” Had his stuff been hiding there, in that little cubbyhole, while I came and went last time? “Weeks?”
He didn’t answer, which was just the answer I needed. I marched to the other side of the cabin and shook my head. Weeks. He’d been there the whole time I’d been searching for him.
“Did you see me here?” I spat the words out around lips tightened in anger. “Did you see me here, looking for you?”
Another non-answer.
Tears filled my eyes, but I’d turned my back to him so he wouldn’t see them. “I’m going back to my motel. I’ll be back here in the morning to talk.”
“Don’t come back, Lauren.”
“Are you kidding? Of course I’m coming back. Do you know what I’ve been doing since you saw me looking for you here the last time? I’ve been driving from state to state, going to all of the places I could think you might be. This was my first place, mind you. I’m not just going to leave. We have things to talk about, plans to make. I’m coming back.”
“You’re wasting your time.”
I stalked over to him and knelt in front of him, getting face to face with him. For the first time, I noticed the changes in him. There were more lines around his eyes, his beard was wild and unkept, his hair was ridiculously long. The ice-blue eyes were narrowed at me, but there was something colder in them, something I didn’t like.
“As happy as I am that you’re concerned about me wasting my time, now, I don’t give a shit. I’m here, I found you—I’m not leaving until we figure some things out.”
He glared at me and I glared right back. There was something so normal about it that I felt like we were right back at home, fighting like normal. It was nostalgic, and wasn’t that just sad?
Before I could cry in front of him, I stood up and left the cabin. I stopped outside of it and sighed before looking up at the sky. There were so many stars, hovering just over my head, that it felt like I could just reach up and grab them like a handful of sprinkles. It was beautiful, hopeful, like maybe things could be okay.
“That view is the reason Luke chose this place.”
I didn’t look back, despite everything in my body begging me to. “I know.”
I made myself face forward and didn’t look back as I headed to my car.
Back at the motel, I made myself crawl under the blanket, with the promise that I’d take a long, hot shower the next morning. I stared at the ceiling, stained by water leaks, and fought the urge to throw a crying fit. I was upset and angry, but I had to focus. I couldn’t handle Mercer if I didn’t.
The stars had been hopeful. I had to think of that.
Chapter 5
Mercer
I was out of the cabin and at Henry’s before the sun came up. My body was coiled tight from seeing Lauren and all I wanted to do was get away and hit something. There was nothing easy about Lauren. From the way we fought to the reactions I had to her, it was always a mess.
I’d had such a reaction to seeing her standing in the middle of the cabin the night before that I hadn’t thought to move away and hide. When she’d called me out, I’d just gone right in to her, like some dumb puppy. I wasn’t too tough a man to admit that I’d missed her. She’d been a constant in my life for so long that I’d somehow grown accustomed to seeing her. It was a weakness. Instead of continuing my life the way I needed to, away from her and BDS, I’d let her find me. She was probably already on her way to the cabin.
<
br /> I didn’t want her there. As much as it made me seem like a fool to push away someone that I missed, I had to. She would mess everything up. She didn’t blend in. She was built to stand out.
As if to prove my point, as soon as I got to Henry’s, he was already outside, waiting on me. He looked like he was bursting with news to tell me, and I had a sick feeling in my stomach I knew what it was.
“See the new woman in town?”
I brushed my hand through my hair and realized that it’d gotten way too long. “Don’t see much of anything where I am.”
“I hear she’s a looker. She’s staying over at Jack Brian’s place. I wouldn’t stay there if someone paid me.” He shuddered. “Jack was gossiping about her at the diner this morning.”
I winced. She couldn’t stay at that shithole. It was dirty and too dangerous. She needed to go back to her house and her fluffy bed.
“He said that she’s sweet.”
I had to backtrack when I audibly scoffed. “Uh… Jack would think any woman was sweet after being married to his wife. From what you’ve said, anyway.”
Henry’s eyes flashed. “I should tell him that. He needs to be put in his place. On another note, though, I was thinking how weird it was that this town hasn’t seen a new face in years, and then suddenly you show up and then she shows up.”
“I’m not a new face.”
“New enough. So, tell me, Mercer, do you know the pretty blonde who’s managed to capture the eye of every single man in town within twelve hours? Some not-so-single eyes, too.”
Annoyance rippled through me. I kept a straight face, though. “I’m assuming I don’t know her, since I don’t know anyone around here. Or anyone who would come all this way to see me.”
Henry just nodded. “Sure. That fence needs working on. I’ll have breakfast on the table whenever you want it. I’m going to head to the store early, see if I can’t catch a glimpse of the pretty lady.”
I had no doubt that once he saw Lauren, he would recognize her. She’d been to the cabin with Luke way back when, but she had a face that wasn’t forgettable. One look and he would know I knew her through Luke.
Still, I said nothing. I’d let the old man work it out for himself. I went to work on the daily chores that needed doing and then went to the fence to get to work on it. I hammered nails into the new wood harder than necessary.
I should’ve packed up in the middle of the night and left. Lauren being there with me was dangerous. She’d either get me caught or end up getting hurt. I was a wanted man. If the police thought that she was helping me, she could get jail time. The idea of her getting locked up made my vision go blurry for a few seconds. I had to remind myself that jail in America wasn’t the same thing as being a prisoner of war. Still, the fear had me doubling down in my decision to keep her away from me. I’d just have to show her that I was fine and that she needed to go home.
It was noon by the time I went in to eat the cold breakfast that Henry had left out. I was sitting on the front porch steps when Henry came up the drive. Before he was even close, I could see her blonde hair flying out the window. Groaning, I stood up and leaned against the railing of the porch. “Son of a bitch.”
Henry parked and got out, beaming. He kicked up dust on his way up to me and thumbed back at Lauren, who was carrying a bag from Henry’s store. “You sure you don’t know her?”
I grunted and met Lauren’s eyes. There was always something stubborn in her gaze that drove me crazy. I wanted to shake her. “What are you doing here?”
She held up the bag. “I brought lunch. Got a problem with that?”
“Lauren, I said—”
“I don’t care what you said.” She marched past me and up Henry’s porch like she owned the place. “Henry said he’s been bringing you home ham and cheese, but I told him you like turkey with lettuce, tomato, and mayo. No cheese. I grabbed you a bottle of that sweet tea you like, too.”
Henry laughed. “Don’t know her at all, huh?”
I watched as Lauren swung her hips into the house and disappeared. Even after she was out of sight, the view of her skintight jeans and the white, lacy top flowing over them taunted me. The way the lace played just over her ass drew in eyes, like some sort of honing device. I got even angrier. She should’ve been wearing something normal, like a giant baggy T-shirt.
Her head popped back out of the door. “Well? Are you coming?”
“You know what? Thank you for the sandwich, but you need to go back home.”
“You’re welcome.” She smiled at Henry, blatantly ignoring the rest of my sentence. “Come on, Henry. If he wants to sit out here and pout, let him. There’s no reason our lunch should get stale.”
“My bread doesn’t go stale that fast. Did Jack tell you that?” Henry followed her into the house and grinned back at me over his shoulder. He seemed happy as a pig in shit to have her over. I was sure it was so he could brag to Jack.
I sat down on the porch steps again and stared out across Henry’s land. I should’ve known she’d come back. She was stubborn and so hardheaded that it made me want to crack my own skull open. I could hear them laughing it up inside, like neither of them had a care in the world. I wanted to shake Lauren until she chose to run back to her own home.
“Mmm. This is a great sandwich, Henry.” Lauren raised her voice, that moan flittering out to me, light as pollen on the wind, but packing a punch like a professional fighter. “I feel sorry for anyone too stubborn to eat theirs.”
“I’m not five, Lauren. You’re not going to trick me into doing something that I don’t want to do.”
“Fine. I’ll eat your sandwich.”
I stood up and jerked the screen door open on my way into the kitchen. I knew she’d eat my sandwich. The woman was like a trash compactor. I didn’t know where she put all the food she ate, but I’d lose my sandwich if I didn’t take it before she did. And damned if I didn’t love the kind of sandwich she’d made me. Damned if it wasn’t annoying as shit that she knew the kind of sandwich I loved.
I stood across the kitchen, leaned against the stove, and took a big bite. I glared at Lauren and then shook my head. “Go home, Lauren.”
Her eyebrows furrowed for just a second and then she plastered a smile on her face and turned to Henry. “Mercer thinks that he knows best for everyone around him. Probably people he doesn’t even know.”
“I do know best in this situation.”
“You don’t know shit from an apple pie.”
Henry laughed and sat back in his chair, taking everything in.
“You know this isn’t how it should go.” She needed to go home, where she’d be safe.
“I don’t know anything of the sort. I know that I searched all over the south to find you and I’m not just going to walk away because you have your panties in a twist and tell me to.” She popped the last of her sandwich into her mouth and rolled her eyes. “Besides, I like it here. Everyone is so nice to me.”
Henry tapped his long fingers on the table. “Don’t let that Johnson boy fool you. He’s as slick as they come.”
A sly smile twisted Lauren’s full lips. “I don’t know. I thought he was pretty sweet.”
My stomach twisted and a throbbing started at the back of my skull. I wasn’t going to say anything. I couldn’t say anything. If I did, she would think I was jealous and I wasn’t. I wasn’t jealous. I didn’t get jealous. Especially not over Lauren.
“He was eyeing you like you were the last hog at the butcher.”
“You noticed that too, huh?” She shrugged. “I don’t have time for him, anyway.”
“Spending too much of your time on this Neanderthal?”
The curves of her cheeks burned pink, but she kept a cool look on her face. “Someone has to make sure that he doesn’t mess his whole life up.”
I pushed off of the oven and moved to the door. I grabbed the bottle of tea on the way and held Lauren’s gaze. “Only one of us here is messing up her life and it’s no
t me, honey.”
I took the stairs slower than I would’ve liked, my leg giving me grief. Then I climbed onto the old tractor that I kept having to fix and headed towards the farthest part of the land. I didn’t want to spend another second looking at Lauren. Worse, I was lying to myself—I did want to look at her. Too much. It wasn’t okay.
I worked on the fence until I was drenched in sweat, despite the chilled weather, and had to toss my shirt onto one of the posts I was fixing. I used my forearm to swipe sweat off of my face and blew out a hard breath. My back hurt and I felt like I was done for the day, but I didn’t quit until it was time to quit. My broken-down body didn’t get to call the shots.
Like she could read my mind and exhaustion level from a mile away, Lauren chose that moment to come striding up. I could tell from the rosy glow on her face that she’d walked from the house. In just a light sweater, she should’ve been freezing.
I straightened and dropped the hammer I’d been holding. “What?”
Her eyes moved over my chest and then up to my own eyes. “How is it possible that you’ve gotten bigger in the last few weeks?”
I reached for my shirt and yanked it on, always slightly too aware of myself when she was around. “What do you want, Lauren?”
She crossed her arms. “What do you think I want?”
I bit my tongue. I wanted to argue with her, but it didn’t lead to anything good ever. “How many times do I have to tell you that you need to go home before you actually go home?”
“What’s your plan here, Mercer?”
“You’re looking at it.”
She leaned against a fence post that I hadn’t fixed yet and I watched as it leaned with her. While I wished it would snap and send her to her ass, of course it held her. Even a hunk of wood knew what it had going for it in that moment. “You’re just going to be a farmhand? And what about when you’re too old and broken for it? Then what? You just lie in that beat-up cabin and die?”
Black Dog Security- Complete 5-Part Series Page 65