Imperfect Saint

by Jess Bryant

  “Maybe we would have.” Millie smiled at him and his heart felt like it might burst.

  The way she was looking at him, cracked him wide open. She wasn’t putting her walls back up like he’d feared. She wasn’t running from him. She had truly decided to open up to him and give him a chance. She’d meant it last night and she still meant it this morning. This was the start of something real between them.

  “I don’t know. I think we found each other at just the right time.” He leaned over and cupped her cheek.

  Millie met his gaze a second before her eyes dropped to his lips. He swallowed a groan. It was the only invitation he needed. He closed the space between them and kissed her softly. Millie kissed him back, raising her own hand to his shoulder to hold him close as she did. It was soft, gentle and full of promises that Hunter couldn’t wait to keep.

  9

  When Hunter pulled back from their kiss, he took most of Millie’s remaining resistance with him. She licked her lips and gave a small hum of satisfaction. She could still taste him. Warm and salty and sweet from the fruit he was eating, she could have kissed him for hours, days, forever even. It was good then that Hunter seemed to remember their surroundings because she’d forgotten they had an audience until Colin cleared his throat and forced the bubble around them to burst.

  “Mmm. Now it’s a good morning.” Hunter took the chance to swipe his lips over hers one more time before he pulled away and when he grinned at her she knew it must be because she was smiling at him like a loon.

  She couldn’t help herself. He made her smile. Since the moment she met him, he’d had a way of making her grin or smirk or laugh and now, with as open and honest as he’d been with her since they started this charade that didn’t feel like a charade, she couldn’t keep how he made her feel locked up inside anymore.

  She liked him. Not just as a coworker or a human being, but she liked him as a friend, and maybe even more than that. Oh, who was she kidding? She definitely liked him as more than just a friend if one simple good morning kiss left her mooning over him like a starstruck teenager.

  Colin cleared his throat again and Millie frowned as she turned back to face her brother. One glance at Reed told her that he was absolutely thrilled to see her with Hunter and was enjoying the little show they were putting on. He was grinning at them, his chin in his hands, looking all dreamy himself. But not Colin.

  No. Of course not. Her brother was barely containing his scowl of disapproval and she wasn’t about to let him get away with it, not even today, on his wedding day, not when he should have been as happy for her that she’d found someone that seemed to cherish her as she was for him.

  “What?”

  Colin’s lips turned down at the corner, “Nothing.”

  “No. It’s not nothing. If it was, you wouldn’t be glaring at me like that so go ahead, Col. Say whatever it is you want to say.”

  Her brother flicked a glance at Hunter and then stared at her again, “Forget it.”

  She snorted and opened her mouth to respond but Hunter cut her off.

  “Let it go, Mills. It’s fine.” He rubbed her back reassuringly but she only shook her head.

  “It’s not fine. Clearly, he doesn’t approve of you but he has no reason to be acting this way. He doesn’t even know you.” She narrowed her eyes back on her brother, “You don’t even know him.”

  “Jesus, Millie.” Colin huffed out a breath, “It’s not that I don’t approve. I just wish you’d have told me you were involved with someone before you showed up with him at my wedding, okay?”

  “Nope. Not okay.” She refused to be pacified. “Because this isn’t about me or your wedding or even Hunter. This is about Joshua.”

  “Mills…” Her brother gave her a warning look, but she ignored it.

  She’d brought Hunter here because she hadn’t wanted to fight with her brother. She’d needed a buffer to keep Joshua away from her sure, but she’d also needed a date to keep Colin off her back. She couldn’t say that she was surprised her brother was acting this way but if he thought she was going to just sit back and accept his judgment then he hadn’t met the new Millie, the one that refused to shrink back just because the men in her life wanted to protect her, especially when she didn’t need it.

  “You had some stupid plan to try and get us back together this weekend, didn’t you?” She scoffed when Colin made the tiniest of wincing motions, “I knew it.”

  “Look.” Colin leaned across the table towards her, “I can see perfectly well that you have no interest in getting back with Joshua. Hell, anyone with eyes can see you two are crazy about each other. I don’t mean to be disapproving and it has nothing to do with Hunter, you’re right about that.” Colin shot him a look, “I’m sorry if it seems that way. Honestly, it’s not about you. It’s just that sitting across the table while you two practically make out certainly isn’t my idea of a good time.”

  Millie raised her eyebrows, incredulous as she shook her head, “Making out in front of you? Col. Please. It was one kiss.”

  “And you’re my little sister. One is too many.”

  “I’m sorry. It’s going to take me a couple of minutes to add up the hundreds of times I caught you and Reed making out when you were teenagers.” She scoffed and heard Reed snort.

  “She’s got a point there, babe.” Reed reached out and put his hand over her brother’s, “You’re not going to win this one so you might as well let them be. Like you said, they go positively googley eyed when they look at each other and when we were newly in love we were the same way. We couldn’t keep our hands off each other. We were terrible to be around. I like to think we still are.”

  “You are.” Millie smirked at her soon to be brother in law, “It’s gross.”

  “See!” Colin practically shouted as if his point had been proven and Millie laughed off the tension of the moment.

  Her brother was right, as hard as it was to admit. She didn’t want to see him and Reed kissing any more than necessary because he was her brother and it was weird. She could understand if he felt the same way about seeing her kissing Hunter. Just so long as she knew he was done trying to force her back into a relationship with Joshua and he swore he wasn’t judging Hunter unfairly she could let it go and not cause a big blowout with her brother on his wedding day.

  “Fine.” She offered her hand, “I won’t make out with Hunter in front of you if you agree never to make out with Reed in front of me ever again. Deal?”

  “Deal.” Colin looked positively relieved but Reed pouted as they shook on it.

  “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, babe.”

  “God help me, you’re going to take it as a challenge, aren’t you?” Colin turned a warm smile on his fiancé and the two exchanged knowing looks before Reed reached up and pulled him in for a kiss.

  “Okayyyyy.” Millie drawled, “I’m taking that as my cue to get lost. Come on Hunter. Let’s go before Reed decides we need a meal and a show.”

  Hunter chuckled and wiped at his mouth as he stood, “Where to, beautiful?”

  “The stables.”

  “You’re going riding?” Colin turned back to face her, a dark eyebrow rising in surprise.

  “Yeah, of course. I always go riding when I’m here.”

  “Riding?” Hunter eyed her suspiciously, “As in, horses?”

  “Yes, as in horses. Why? Is that a problem?” Millie pushed her glasses up her nose to look at him.

  “No. No problem.” Hunter glanced at her brother and then cleared his throat, “No problem at all. Let’s go.”

  Millie pushed her chair in and Hunter did the same. They thanked the two grooms for having breakfast with them. Hunter started to pick up their plate but Millie told him to leave it. One of the servers would be around to pick it up soon enough.

  “Oh, hey.” Colin called out as she took Hunter’s hand and started to lead him away. “Don’t forget to be back by noon for rehearsal.”

  “Wouldn’t miss it fo
r the world.” She waved over her shoulder as she blew her brother a kiss and jogged away, pulling Hunter with her.

  He followed her down the back stairs without a word. He squeezed her hand once they were alone, walking across the rolling side yard towards the red barn in the distance. She glanced up when she caught him staring at her.

  “What?”

  “What was all that with your brother?” He asked, his brows furrowed.

  “What was what?”

  “You ripped into him about a look he gave you.” Hunter smirked.

  “No. A look he gave us.” She corrected, chin up as they walked.

  “So there is an us, now?”

  She stopped walking, her confidence faltering when he questioned what she’d assumed was true as of this morning. He’d told her yesterday that this thing between them wasn’t an act. He’d been kind and sweet and gentle with her. He’d held her through the night and this morning when she’d woken up, she’d watched him sleeping and been unable to deny just how much she wanted them to be real. She’d let him kiss her in public and held his hand and defended him and their supposed relationship to her brother. But with just those six words she felt the old slivers of fear and doubt start to sneak back in.

  What if he’d been lying? What if he only wanted her when she didn’t want him? What if he only wanted her for a night? For sex? What if he didn’t want her after all and…

  “Hey. Stop.” Hunter stepped into her space and cupped her cheeks, forcing her face up and her eyes to his. “Don’t you doubt this for a second. You know how I feel about you, Mills. Of course I think there’s an us. To me, there always has been. I just need to hear you admit it. Finally. I need to know you feel it too. This isn’t an act, right? This? Today? You holding my hand and kissing me in front of your brother and finally opening up to me. This is real, right?”

  Hunter had such a way with words. It should have scared her. Joshua had used her own words against her so many times. He’d twisted the truth. He’d lied and conned and then charmed and seduced with them. She’d learned not to trust anything he said and all of the defenses she’d put into place after she left him told her that she should be careful with a man like Hunter. Getting close to another man that could weave words into the sweetest sentences was dangerous. But Hunter didn’t feel dangerous. He felt safe. He felt solid. He felt real, because that’s exactly what he was.

  “It’s not an act.” She admitted softly, meeting his golden green gaze, “The truth is, I’d be a horrible actress even if I tried. This is real, Hunter. It’s so real it scares the hell out of me Why do you think I’ve spent all this time avoiding you? You scare me.”

  “I don’t ever want you to be scared of me, Mills. Ever.”

  “No.” She grabbed his wrists when she felt him start to pull away, “You don’t scare me. Not like that. It’s me. I told you. I’m broken and I’m still trying to put myself together.”

  “And I told you that I don’t think you’re broken, but even if you are, I want to be the glue that helps put you back together.”

  Millie smiled a little, “I know. I want that too. That’s what scares me. How much I want you? How much I like being around you, being with you? I don’t have experience with these kinds of feelings and what I do know of it… it didn’t end well for me in the past.”

  “That’s not something you ever have to worry about, beautiful.” Hunter tilted his head forward until their foreheads were touching, “Because I don’t ever want this to end.”

  “You might.” She argued, “Once you see the real me.”

  “Oh, I see you, Millie. I’ve always seen you. That’s why I scare you. I see you and I’m not going anywhere.” Hunter brushed their lips together softly, “Because you don’t scare me, beautiful.”

  Hunter kissed her then and she melted into him. Kissing him was addicting. He always left her wanting more.

  This time, he didn’t keep it soft and sweet though. This time they didn’t have an audience. This time they were on the same page and they both knew that the feelings between them were real.

  It was just the two of them now, standing outside a barn, alone in a world where they wouldn’t be interrupted. Nobody from the house could see them all the way down here and Hunter took advantage of the private moment. He kissed her like she’d never been kissed before and like she knew she’d never be kissed by anyone else ever again.

  His mouth was firm and demanding against hers. He sucked on her bottom lip and when she gasped, he released the sensitive flesh and dove deeper. His tongue stroked against her own, tangling, dancing, seducing her into moving with him. Her arms tightened around his neck and she felt his grip on her do the same. He pulled her so close her feet left the ground and it was only his body holding her up for a moment before her back was against the side of the barn and she was pinned in place.

  The sun had warmed the metal siding and she felt the heat of it against her back just as she felt the heat of Hunter pressing against her from the front. She felt surrounded in warmth. Cocooned. She’d never felt so wanted in her life and she clung to Hunter, kissing him back, hoping this moment would never end.

  Hunter tore his mouth free of hers to suck in a ragged breath and she moaned at the loss. He was back only a second later. His wet lips and tongue moving over her jaw, down her neck, making her shiver. His hands went to her ass and her legs opened for him instinctively so that he could notch himself between them. He groaned as he pushed forward, rocking his hips against her, and her head fell back on a cry of desire as she felt his thick length through their jeans and her suddenly wet panties.

  It wasn’t enough. No, it wasn’t nearly enough. She needed more. She wanted him naked and thrusting into her. She didn’t want clothes in the way. She didn’t want anything between them. Not when he made her feel this good. So hot and sexy and beautiful and cherished.

  “Hunter.” She breathed his name as she felt her body begin to tighten, curling in on itself, the need so intense it was nearly painful.

  “Mills.” He groaned as he slowed the movements of his hips. “You make me crazy. I want you. All of you. Do you want me?”

  “Yes.” The word came out a breathy whisper she wasn’t even sure he could hear but it didn’t matter, he knew, of course he knew.

  “God, I’ve wanted to hear you say that for so long.” Hunter groaned against her neck, “I want to make love to you.”

  “Yes, please.” She all but whined.

  “But not like this.” He nipped at her earlobe and while she was still trying to register the words, he pulled back enough to ease her feet to the ground, his hands going to her waist to hold her up since her knees were jelly. She gripped his biceps and stared up at him, trying to figure out what she’d done wrong to make him stop. “Shh, not like this.”

  “But…” She felt her bottom lip tremble but he kissed her again quickly, stopping her protest.

  He pulled back again but kept his eyes on hers, “I’ve waited too long for you to just rip your clothes off and fuck you in the hay like a madman. You’re worth more than that. When I take you to bed, I want it to be in a bed, Millie. I want a lock on the door so we won’t be interrupted and I want a whole night and day to worship your beautiful, sexy body. I want to make it good for you and I want you to want it, to need it, as much as I do.”

  “I do. Hunter, I do want it. I want you.”

  “Finally.” He smiled, soft and sweet, his eyes sparkling in the morning sun, “Now that I know we’re on the same page, I think we can wait a little while longer.”

  She groaned and he chuckled.

  “I said a little while longer. Not forever.”

  “You’re a tease, St. James.” She huffed, blowing a stray hair off her overheated face, “I knew I should have brought my little battery-operated friend.”

  He made an almost inhuman growl, “Don’t even think about getting off without me, Millie.”

  “I can’t. I’ve only ever gotten off with Bob and I didn’t
pack him since I knew we’d be sharing a room.”

  Hunter jerked back and stared at her. She rearranged her clothes, focusing on something besides his intense perusal. She couldn’t believe she’d really just said that to him.

  She was on a roll today.

  When she’d woke up this morning, she’d felt stronger somehow, like she was more the woman she’d become while working for Lemon, out there on her own, and less like the little girl her family tried to treat her as. She’d decided that she was ready to face her feelings for Hunter and his for her. She’d stood up to Colin at breakfast. She’d just had the hottest make-out session of her life with Hunter, and now she’d gone and told him about her vibrator.

  He wasn’t the only one going crazy.

  “You’ve never…” Hunter started, stopped, and waited for her to look up at him. “Millie, did you just tell me that you’ve never had an orgasm?”

  She frowned, “No. That’s not what I said. You misheard me.”

  “Then repeat yourself because I’m confused. You’re not a virgin. You were with your asshole ex too long to have never had sex. But you said you’ve only ever gotten off with a vibrator.”

  She hated the way he was looking at her now. As if she’d grown two heads and was suddenly abnormal. It wasn’t abnormal at all. She’d done the research. She knew she wasn’t the only woman in the world to have problems crossing the finish line with her partner. Joshua had never given a damn if she got there just so long as he did. She’d tried her hand a few times when he was out of town on business, but had only ended up frustrated and disappointed. After the breakup she’d bought her first toy and been shocked by the pleasure she could give herself with the little pink wand. But even good ol’ Bob didn’t always get the job done so she’d taken to the internet and discovered that all women were different and that she wasn’t a freak. She was seriously regretting telling Hunter about her issue though because he was looking at her like she was exactly that.

  “Let me put it in words you’ll understand. No. I’m not a virgin. My ex was an asshole as you so kindly pointed out, and getting me to the finish line was never high on his priority list. Since he’s the only man I’ve ever been with, I’ve never had an orgasm with another person. That’s not to say I haven’t had them, but they’re rare for me and I’ve only gotten there with my vibrator. Happy now?” She put her hands on her hips, daring him to say something.