Imperfect Saint

by Jess Bryant

  Jill gave her a sad, defeated look and shook her head, “It’s easier this way.”

  Millie watched as the girl ducked her head, all but curling into herself as she went to Joshua’s side and gave him the bottle of water. She bit the inside of her cheek until she was sure she would taste blood at any moment. Reed glared at Joshua and Colin told his friend to calm down but neither of them seemed to understand the power struggle that was really happening in front of them.

  She wanted to scream. She wanted to tell them, here and now, that the Joshua they thought they knew was a façade and the real man was much angrier and more violent than they’d ever imagined. Before she could though, the wedding planner told them to gather round and Millie reminded herself that she wasn’t going to ruin Colin’s wedding day by revealing secrets she’d been keeping for a reason.

  “Everybody knows what their role is. It’s T-minus four hours until go time. I expect you all to head inside and get yourself ready for the big event.” The wedding planner clapped her hands excitedly, “Who’s ready for a wedding?”

  A little cheer went up from the wedding party and Millie managed a smile as she extricated herself from the group. She couldn’t believe that Reed and Colin were really getting married. They would say vows and pledge their lives to one another in just a few more hours. She’d known they were soulmates since she was just a little girl but to finally see them out and open and living their life, looking forward to the future was magical.

  It made her want to think about her own future, something she’d avoided doing for a while now.

  “Come here.” A growl echoed near her ear a moment before a big hand grabbed her elbow and squeezed so hard that she gasped.

  “Let go.” She tried to tear her arm away from Joshua but this time he didn’t let her, only tightening his hold when she tried to pull away from him.

  “I think it’s time you and I have a little talk.” He snapped as he wheeled her down the hallway under the staircase and shoved her into an empty room at the back of the house.

  Millie glanced around, looking for another way out, but knew there wasn’t one as soon as she saw where he’d brought her. The library was tucked into the back corner of the old house and every wall was covered in shelves, stacked with books. Her grandfather’s desk sat in front of the only window; a small square of light too high to reach even if she’d wanted to. She flipped her gaze back to the door that Joshua had pulled shut behind him but he resolutely stood in front of it, blocking her in.

  “Move.” She demanded.

  “No.” He snarled. “Not until we talk.”

  “I don’t want to talk to you and I don’t want to hear anything you have to say. Let me out of here, Joshua.” She tried to walk past him but he grabbed her by the upper arms and spun her until her back collided with the wall and she let out a surprised yelp as he knocked the air out of her. She sucked in a breath and shook her head, “I said, let go of me.”

  “And I said, no. Who do you think wins, Millie? I’ll give you a hint. It’s always me.” His blue eyes blazed with heat and anger.

  She remembered a time when she’d thought those eyes were beautiful. She’d compared them to the icy blue of the pond just after it had thawed from winter. She knew better now. The blue of his eyes wasn’t icy at all. They were the blue of the hottest flames of hell.

  “You don’t get it. You never did.” She let her own anger rise and snapped right back at him, “This isn’t some game and I’m not some prize to be won.”

  His grip on her arms tightened until she whined and he gave a smug, sadistic grin, “Oh, it’s a game. Of course it’s a game. Why else would you have brought that guy you work with? You brought him to parade around in front of me, to taunt me. You wanted my attention and now you’ve got it.”

  “I don’t want anything from you except to never have to see you again.” She glared and watched his eyes widen in surprise.

  He hadn’t expected her to fight. Why would he? She never had before. She’d cried and begged and pleaded. She’d curled in on herself and she’d let him have his way. It had been easier. That was what Jill had said too. It was easier to give him what he wanted and save herself the pain, but he couldn’t hurt her anymore. She’d gotten away from him once and she’d do it again.

  “Newsflash: you’re not the center of my universe anymore. I don’t want you and I don’t want your attention. Why would I? Hunter’s twice the man you’ll ever be.” She spit the words out at him and knew she’d severed the last thread of his control when he snarled.

  He released his grip on her and she tried to move away from him but she wasn’t fast enough. Joshua pulled his arm back and then his hand was coming at her. He backhanded her so hard across the face her glasses cracked and flew to the ground. Her vision blurred and she stumbled, nearly going to the ground before she caught herself on the edge of the old desk. Pain bloomed from the spot, heat burning through her skin, warning her that this would leave a bruise. She licked at her lip and tasted blood as she pushed herself backwards, putting more space between them, trying to put the desk between them as she regained her balance and her senses.

  It took Joshua a second to get a grip on himself and process what he’d done. He blinked at her before he rubbed his jaw and glared. He’d snapped. She’d pushed him too far and he’d lost control. That had been rare in their relationship. He’d hit her before. She couldn’t pretend any longer that he hadn’t. But when he was in control, he’d always been very careful not to mark her where anyone would see.

  People would be able to see this. She couldn’t hide it, not even if she’d wanted to. After all, she was supposed to be in hair and makeup for the wedding happening in mere hours. By then her cheek would be bruised and her busted lip would be swollen. There would be no hiding this and despite all the times she’d told herself that she wouldn’t confront Joshua here, not this weekend, not at this wedding, she knew it had been inevitable now.

  It was always going to come to this with him. And there was no going back. Not this time.

  “Look what you made me do.” Joshua shook his head as if he was disappointed in her.

  She wiped at her bloody lip, “I didn’t make you hit me. I never made you hurt me, Joshua. That was all you. It took me a long time to realize that but once I did, it was easy to see you for what you really are, nothing but a monster.”

  “Don’t talk to me like that!” He flexed his hand as he moved closer to her again and she continued to move around the desk away from him. “I don’t want to hurt you, Mills. I never wanted to hurt you. You know that. You know I love you.”

  She scoffed at the words she’d been too young, too naïve and too hopeful to see through before it was too late, “You don’t love me. You love the idea of having me at your side. You think with me at your side that Dad might pass up Colin and make you head of the company but you’re delusional. You always have been. Colin and Dad might have their issues but that company is his and you’re never getting your hands on it or me ever again.”

  “That’s not true. You’re mine. You’ve always been mine, Millie.”

  “Maybe I was at one point, but you ruined that. You ruined us, but you won’t ruin me.” She felt her way around another corner of the desk and tried to calm her racing heart. Almost there. She just had to keep him talking. She had to keep him distracted. If she kept him walking towards her while she circled the desk, she’d be on the other side of it soon, closest to the door, and then she could make a break for it. “You don’t love me and I’m okay with that. It’s fine. Because I don’t love you anymore either.”

  Joshua slammed his fist down on the desk, making her jump and scramble backwards again, “Don’t say that. You love me. You’ve always loved me. If this is about settling the score, that’s fine. Go fuck some other guy, Millie. Make us even because I messed up. But don’t say you don’t love me. You do and you’re going to come back to me. You always come back to me.”

  “Not this time.” She
stepped back again and felt the sharp point that signaled the edge of the desk. “Not ever again.”

  As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she turned and ran. It was only a dozen feet or so to the door of the library but she knew if she didn’t reach it first that he’d make her pay for her words. She heard him scream something behind her, cursing her and calling her names, but she put all her focus on the door and sprinted as hard as she could…

  Right into Hunter’s arms.

  “Oompf.” He grunted as he opened the door and stepped through right as she ran into his chest.

  He wrapped his arms around her instantly. She buried herself inside his embrace and tried to force air into her lungs. Fear had taken over and her fight or flight response had been full force. She’d fought until she’d found a way to run but now Hunter was here. Hunter was here and he would keep her safe. She knew he would. She sagged with relief as he held her up and then groaned as he pushed her back just enough to look at her.

  “Millie? Babe… what’s…” His words trailed off; his question answered without her saying a thing.

  His beautiful golden flecked green eyes scanned her face and she saw his expression change from confusion to anger even without the aid of her glasses. She saw his jaw tighten. She saw his muscles tense. But it didn’t scare her when he reached out and softly touched her jaw, even though it hurt and she winced. He pulled his hand away and quickly gathered her back into arms.

  “It’s okay. You’re okay. I’m here now. I got you.” He whispered in her ear a moment before he let go of her and pushed her around him so that his big body was between her and Joshua. “Get behind me and stay there while I deal with this.”

  “Oh look, there’s the white knight here to save his princess.” Joshua taunted but Hunter didn’t move a muscle.

  “Oh look, there’s the piece of shit that gets off on hitting women.” Hunter’s voice was thick with restraint. “Why don’t you pick on someone your own size, asshole?”

  Joshua glared, “She had it coming, not that it’s any of your business.”

  “Millie is my business and that makes you my business.” Hunter stepped forward, “You hurt the woman I love and that means I get to hurt you.”

  Millie sucked in a surprised breath as Hunter uttered words she’d never expected to hear. He loved her? Or was that just another way of picking at Joshua so that he would fight him? If it was, it worked.

  Joshua growled and launched himself at Hunter. Millie screamed and scrambled backwards, trying to stay out of the way as the two men barreled towards her. Hunter got his feet under him again and held his ground. He punched Joshua in the ribs one, twice and when the other man let go of his waist to pull back, he punched him in the face as well. Joshua fell backwards but Hunter didn’t let him go. He grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him back up before slamming his fist into Joshua’s face again.

  Millie screamed when she heard the sound of something breaking, “Hunter! No! Stop. Please stop!”

  “Oh my God.” A shocked male voice pulled her attention back to the door and she squinted enough to realize that Reed, Colin, and Jill were all standing in the hallway now.

  “What the hell is going on in here?” Her brother moved towards her and raised his hand, stopping himself before touching her face. “Mills? What happened? What did he do?”

  She couldn’t help it. This was her big brother. He was her brother, her best friend, and the one person she’d always told everything. Except for this. He looked shocked and horrified and she tried to get the words out, to explain, but only sobs escaped her throat. Deep, heaving sobs that wrecked her and sent her to her knees as she lost what little strength she’d managed to glean from Hunter’s presence.

  Colin scowled and turned on the two men still trading punches, “Stop! Stop it right now or I’ll have you arrested.”

  Hunter whirled around and opened his mouth to say something but Joshua didn’t give him the chance. He kicked him in the back of the kneecap. Hunter groaned as his leg gave and he went to the ground. Joshua kicked him in the back, making him sprawl face first on the floor and it took too long for Millie to realize what was happening.

  Colin thought Hunter was the one that had hurt her. He thought Joshua was defending her. He didn’t know. He didn’t understand. He couldn’t because she hadn’t ever told him the truth.

  “NO!” She screamed as tears blurred her vision and she crawled as fast she could across the floor to get to Hunter “No. Colin. No. It’s Joshua. He did this. Stop him. Stop him!”

  “What?” Colin looked from her, where she’d thrown herself over Hunter’s splayed body, to his best friend who was standing over them, beaten, bloody, and bruised. Joshua pulled his leg back like he was going to kick Hunter again even though Millie was in the way. She threw her hands up to block him, knowing it was a useless defense, but before Joshua could swing, Reed was there, shoving him backwards and cursing a mad streak.

  “You motherfucker, I warned you. I told you if you ever laid a finger on her again that I would fucking murder you and feed you to the hogs. I’m going to fucking kill you, you stupid, entitled, narcissistic bastard.”

  Millie gaped up at Reed as he pushed Joshua back until he hit the wall. The things he was saying, they filtered through her mind until she came to the only rational conclusion. Reed knew. She didn’t know how he knew. She didn’t know how long he’d been privy to the intimate details of her relationship with Joshua, but he knew… and from the look on Colin’s face, he’d never told her brother.

  “Wh-what… what’s going on?” Colin asked again, looking shell-shocked as he glanced between them all.

  Hunter sat up slowly, clutching his side where he’d been kicked and punched repeatedly. He pulled Millie into his arms and she let the tears fall as he held her close. She hadn’t wanted this. This was what she’d been trying to avoid. She’d kept all of it a secret for so long but it was all out in the open now.

  They knew. They all knew. And it changed everything and nothing all at the same time.

  Hunter gently cupped the side of her face that wasn’t swollen and met her gaze.

  She nodded and let him help her up as she turned to face her brother.

  “It was Joshua.” She told him, chin trembling as she fought back more tears, “He did this.”

  “What? No.” Colin shook his head and tears leaked down her cheeks at his refusal to accept the words.

  “You don’t believe me?” She wiped at her eyes, ignoring the pain that came with touching her face, “Think about it, Colin. Think about how many times I told you I ran into a cabinet door or fell down a flight of stairs. Think about all the times I called off lunch dates or dinners because I wasn’t feeling up to going out. Think about all the bruises that you chalked up to me being clumsy when you know that I’m not clumsy.” She shrugged in defeat as her brother stared blankly at her, “I’m not clumsy, Col. I just have really bad taste in men.” She reached out and pulled Hunter closer, “At least I used to.”

  Hunter held her at his side. Solid. Stable. Safe. Dependable. And she wanted to collapse against him more than anything but she knew that she couldn’t. Not yet. Because this wasn’t over. Not by a long shot.

  “I didn’t leave Joshua because he cheated on me. I left him because he abused me emotionally, financially, psychologically and, when he was in the mood to hit something, physically. He’s an abusive monster, Col. I’m sorry. I know this must be a shock to you. I know he’s your friend but he’s not, not really. He wants me at his side so Dad will put us in charge of the company and bypass you. He’s a jealous, spiteful, monster.”

  “She’s lying.” Joshua hissed but Reed slammed him into the wall again and put his elbow against his chest to hold him there.

  “Not another word or I’ll pick up where he left off.” Reed warned and then glanced back over his shoulder to where his fiancé stood with Millie and Hunter. “I’m so sorry, baby. I should’ve told you but…”

  “It
wasn’t his secret to tell.” Millie gave him a small nod of thanks.

  Colin swiped a hand over his face, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “I couldn’t.” She wiped at another stray tear, “I couldn’t tell anyone. I was so ashamed. I’m so embarrassed. All that time, all those years, I let him hurt me and I let him tell me it was my fault and I thought…”

  “You thought I’d blame you too?” Colin’s voice cracked and she saw tears of regret fill her brother’s eyes too.

  Colin stared at her and she stared back. They both had tears dripping down their cheeks. She wanted to go to him. She wanted to hug him and tell him all the things that she’d kept hidden from him. She wanted to yell at him for not seeing the truth for himself sooner. And she knew he was fighting the same battle. He wanted to hug her and yell at her and she wasn’t sure that she could take any more yelling right now or any more confessions.

  “Hey.” Hunter broke in as if he’d read her mind, “Why don’t we go upstairs and I’ll help you get cleaned up and once everyone settles down, we can talk this through rationally.”

  “No. I want to know…” Colin started but Millie shook her head.

  “He’s right. I need… I just… I want…”

  “It’s okay.” Reed spoke up from across the room, sending his fiancé a look not to try to stop her. “Go. I’ll take care of this.” He flipped his gaze to Hunter. “You take care of her.”

  “Always.”

  Reed couldn’t quite muster a smile but he tried, “I knew I liked you.”

  Millie lost it then, for reasons she couldn’t quite explain or even understand. The tears came flooding out and she couldn’t make them stop. She could hardly catch her breath.

  It was too much. It was all just too much. She felt like she was going to faint but when her legs went to jelly Hunter was there and he caught her, lifting her into his arms and whispering that she was going to be okay.

  “You can see her once she’s settled. Not until.” Hunter told her brother.