And Then There Were Dragons

by Alcy Leyva

  I will say where I found the adverts and commercials in New Necro unsettling, Pandemonium took all of them to another horrific level. There were ads for as far as the eye could see. Too many ads, in fact. I would say there were at least three signs for every building in Dis which just made the place look more like a metropolis someone had decorated with cut-up sales circulars and annoying internet ads.

  I watched as a small bi-plane dragged by an advert that read “ADOPT A PET FOR YOUR NEXT SACRIFICE” in big bold lettering (and Lobster font, of course) before crashing into a massive pop-up ad that appeared in the air before it and then spiral into the City as a twisting fireball.

  Dis even had its own Maw, which I could spot due to the flocks of Screech’s flowing out of its darkness. I noticed the flocks never entered the city and instead flew past us on their way to spread their poison to the surface.

  We disembarked the elevator and the air here was even worse. It felt like something was kneeling on my back—like gravity was tearing the soul out of me. As if this didn’t bother them at all, the two Furies removed their coats and inhaled slowly.

  The shorter Fury stretched her toned arms and let out a yawn. She had two sets of wings—two black, two white—that spread like an unholy x on her back. Beneath her coat, she wore light pearl-colored lace with gold trim that flowed over her pale skin. A set of horns curved up from her temples and ended in black points. Her eyes were egg-white surrounded in deep pits of jet-black ink. Her lips were also black and sported hideous scars running up from the edges of her mouth like a smile carved by a blade. Aside from this and her limp black hair, her face was human-like, flawless. If it weren’t for the fact the bitch had already tried to slice me into pieces, I would almost call her beautiful.

  The tall Fury wasn’t any easier to look at. Dropping her drape to the floor, I knew instantly why her coat moved on her own. Her body was skeletal, almost tree-like. Her face was a rounded skull whose mouth was in a permanent toothless smile. She had ragged brown hair that dropped all the way to the ground like a nest of weeds. Small creatures hung and played around the insides of her limbs. They were childlike, with tiny naked bodies, and wore masks with drawings on them—the kind you would find on the walls of a daycare—just with spectacularly macabre images. One mask was of a magical castle pouring hot oil on an invading army. Another was of a unicorn sodomizing an elf. The little demons giggled. They whispered. Some of them played tag in her rib cage. Another was snoozing in the scoop of her collarbone.

  Of all the creatures I had come across in Hell, the Furies genuinely made me fear for my life. There’s no way to sugarcoat this. It was obvious they could have, and should have, scattered my body parts to the wind at the gates of Dis. They were wary of something and I was sure it wasn’t my pro-cooking skills.

  I’ll admit that, while terrifying, I came to be grateful for the Furies’ monstrous looks. The City of Dis was crawling with demons of every kind. Spiders, lizards, harpies, seals. I’m going to come out and say this without wanting to go into specifics, but demon seals are the worst demons imaginable. The tusks and whiskers … that honking noise.

  The demons themselves lined the streets as we made our way to the central building in Pandemonium. I walked down the street, flanked by the two Old Gods, as every demon in the City peered at me with their glowing eyes from the sidewalks, windows, fire escapes, and manholes.

  “We have planned for your arrival, Lady Grey,” Alec, the tall Fury with the creepy children, whispered as if it were a secret. “The citizens have thrown you a welcoming parade.”

  I never went to a New York City parade. Too many people, too many barricades, too many bagpipes. Even though I didn’t have experience to draw from, I was pretty sure it was not common practice for parade-goers to be shouting for you to be decapitated while going into graphic detail about what they want to do with your skull afterward.

  One brave demon tried to leap out at me, but Meg, the multi-winged Fury, drew and threw one of her daggers in one sick movement that caught the crazed creature right between its bugged eyes. Caught in midair, the demon collapsed at my feet. Meg pulled the knife from its corpse, flicked its black blood into the crowd, and sheathed her weapon.

  The walk reminded me of what Palls had told me about New Necro and how its citizens were not evil. I couldn’t quite wrap my mind about it then, but it made sense walking around Dis. I guess standing in the middle of an entire city as over a million demons call to have your flesh ripped off really brings clarity to all of the questions in the universe.

  The building at the center of the City looked just like the black spire in New Necro. Up close, the angular shape of its construction confused the hell of out me. There were impossible shapes holding up the entire one hundred-story building. I couldn’t even be sure what the structure was made out of: stone, concrete, glass, or metal. It was the oddest thing I had ever seen, one that both radiated light and swallowed it.

  We entered through the front doors and stood in a room of mirrors.

  Behind this, two round doors rolled apart and let us through. The next room was white and, actually, quite beautiful. There were hanging plants, a grotto with a small waterfall. The walls were all white and the most amazing throne sat at the end on an elevated platform—one with seven spires rising from the top.

  The Furies gestured for me to take my time inspecting the throne as they stood at the bottom patiently. Passing my hand over it, the throne felt cool to the touch and my burning mantle seemed to surge with power as I kept my fingers on its surface. I had never seen anything like the white and gold trim that formed its shell.

  “So, this is my throne?”

  “It is,” Meg responded. Alec had plucked out one of her ribs and was using it as a rattle to entertain her kids.

  “I’m going to address the elephant in the room,” I started boldly. “I killed your sister and you’re offering me a throne. It’s not that I’m not grateful or anything. It’s a nice throne. I’m just wondering why you’re not a little more, oh I dunno, pissed about it?”

  Meg flexed her neck, which made me see I’d hit a nerve. Still, she replied, “Tis was overzealous. Our sister got what she deserved.” And then she added, “Blood under the bridge.”

  “Water,” I corrected.

  But Meg shook her head. “She was filled with water? That’s pretty gross.”

  “You know there’s this principle New Yorkers take to heart. ‘When things are too good to be true, it usually means they are.’ It’s like when a train car pulls into the station and you see it’s empty; that there are seats open for anyone with an ass. Tourists line up in front of the doors just to pile themselves in, but not a real New Yorker. You see, even before the train stops, real New Yorkers go find another car. We know an empty train car means the seats are coated in bodily discharge, or there is a gang of roaches having a knife fight inside.”

  Confused, the two Furies glanced at each other.

  “Lady Grey?”

  “I’m saying you’ll have to excuse my New York skepticism because I’m calling bullshit on this whole thing. I know the story of the Old Gods and the Dragons and the war you two had. I also know the Wardens are the Dragons, which means giving away thrones and kingdoms seems like charity I should be wary of. You banished us because you were afraid of us obliterating you.”

  This was important. I had to say “us” and keep the power on my end. In actuality, I was standing just behind the arm of the throne to hide how much my knees were shaking.

  “We recognize the power of the Dragons and would like to reconcile,” Alec replied as she pet her kids who were breaking out a pull-up competition of her rib cage.

  “Why now?”

  “Because of you, Lady Grey.”

  “Why me?”

  Meg set both of her hands on her daggers. I wasn’t sure to take this as a threat or if she was just resting. “You trav
eled with Morrigan. Did she tell you of the origin of the Dragons?”

  “They were originally torn from the Beast. A Seven-Headed Dragon.”

  Gesturing to the throne, specifically to its spires, Meg told me, “Seven heads with seven horns and seven crowns. The Beast was all-powerful. A scourge in both Heaven and Hell. It could annihilate everything. That is what we know.”

  “But here is what we think,” Alec chimed in. “The real reason the Dark Lord tore the Beast apart was because it could destroy everything, including him. It got too powerful. Letting the Dragons loose on us was his way of setting us against each other.”

  “But he didn’t count on you.”

  I held up the burning sleeve of my robe and shook my head. “Again. Why me? I don’t exactly have the best track record, ladies. I’m not some all-powerful being here. My entire mortal life I spent dealing with weird phobias and odd allergies. I once got food poisoning from chewing gum.” I threw my hands up as if they could understand this.

  Alec laughed. “I will admit we reveled in killing your kind. Without your memories, and your true powers, destroying every Shade from the Fourth Circle down proved … enjoyable. But what we are searching for is much more powerful than a mere dragon. The Dark Lord would swallow a Dragon or an Old God and spit them out in an instant. But you, Lady Grey, have taken in the powers of all seven Shades at one point. Is this not true?”

  “I—” I honestly wasn’t sure. “Seven Shades? Probably only six, I guess?”

  “All seven,” Meg corrected. “You absorbed five Shades, plus your own. And the last Shade, we believe he lent you his power at some point.”

  D. He had fixed my injuries a few times. Had he lent me some of his power, as well? How could that be true?

  The two Furies took a knee and Meg told me, “You have transcended the Dragon. You are the closest being to reforming the Beast, Lady Grey. You are the one who will help us break into the final Circle of Hell and kill the Dark Lord, now and forever.”

  I laughed and walked around the throne to give myself some time to think. “I’m sorry. I think my ears are not functioning down on this level. It sounded like you just asked me to waltz into the Ninth Circle of Hell and kill the origin of all darkness.”

  Once again, Meg was adamant. “Along with the powers you possess, you will have the strength of Pandemonium at your fingertips. The gate to the Seventh Circle is protected by a guardian—an Old God, but a sympathizer to the throne. Help us break through, and our army of one-hundred thousand fully-armed centaurs will flood into the final Circle and bring Hell to its knees.”

  I nodded slowly, trying to buy myself some time before I had to respond. I slipped into the throne and crossed my legs. Then, after a few seconds to think it over, I shrugged. “Cool. Are we going right now or can I have, like, ten minutes to de-frag?”

  Both Furies looked at each other and then up at me.

  Meg’s black eyes narrowed to glowing slits. “So ... you’re okay with this?”

  I shrugged and looked around. “Ooh, this is nice. Cozy for a throne. You know, I don’t have prior throne experience, but I would never have put the words ‘cozy’ and ‘throne’ together. I mean, it would never come into my mind. And yet, here it is. But to answer your question. Oh yeah. A-ok with this. Okay with all of it, as a matter of fact. Especially since I was kind of expecting you to, you know, threaten me somehow. Like, force me to do something. And I would have to decline. And a big fat fight would break out as I would try to escape. But I guess we’re good. I was planning to go down there and stir up some hell of my own. So if that’s all you want, we’re all good!”

  The Furies looked at each other again. “Well, that’s good news. Guess we don’t have to use this now.”

  Meg gestured to a side door I had failed to see when I walked in. Two puppets pushed open the doors and Gaffrey Palls, D, Not-Mark, and Cain were led into the room, bound in chains.

  The familiar troupe looked beaten and tortured. D even had several sharp spears sticking out of his back and chest.

  The demon, the angel, the liar, and the man all looked up to see me sitting in a robe of white burning flames atop the throne of Pandemonium as I sheepishly waved to them.

  “Oh, hey.”

  CHAPTER 24

  The Furies escorted us through a large gate to where they said the execution would be fitting. At their behest, a small army of centaurs flanked us.

  I want to call them centaurs but in actuality, they were opposite of centaurs. Marching in rank and file with spears, shields, and other armaments were creatures with the heads of horses and the legs of men. With hooves for hands, they kept dropping their weapons. With their skinny human legs, they were top-heavy and clumsy. I want to say this was the dumbest army I’d ever been backed by, but it was the only army and I don’t want to sound ungrateful. It made all the sense in the world why the Furies needed a Dragon on their side to take over Hell.

  Minding our distance from those oafish creatures, I stayed close to where they kept my friends. I visited Palls first and then Cain. The ex-angel wasn’t looking too good. The gray, cracked skin had spread up around her throat and shoulders, making it difficult to look at her. Lastly, there was D. Walking toward the back, we were close enough to whisper amongst ourselves.

  The demon took one look at my fiery robe and shook his head. “Please tell me you have a plan, Grey.”

  I looked at him, offended. “Me? A plan? I was just going to use the Furies to get me down to find Petty faster. I know that sounds like a plan but I consider it more of an impulse. The same way when you’re standing in line waiting to pay for something and the store’s posted its blah-blah knick-knacks in front of your face for you say, ‘Oh yeah. I might need triple C batteries to power that portable vibrator I got last Hanukkah.’”

  D rolled his eyes—or perhaps he almost passed out. “If you’re rambling again, this really means we’re screwed. Is it true you killed one of the Furies back at the boat?”

  “I barfed fire on her, D. Not exactly a highlight of my stay down here.”

  Like I had already done for Cain and Palls, I snapped one flame onto my finger and planted it right where D’s hands were bound. The chain snapped and I placed the two connecting loops into his hand so that it appeared to still be whole. Up close, the spears in his body looked gross: three through the back, one through his chest, and the last through his belly. I felt like I was talking to a pincushion. “That looks bad,” I told him.

  “All good,” he replied and coughed out a thick wad of black blood. Swallowing some of it, he added, “Never been better.”

  “Lady Grey,” Alec called. She had no proper eyeballs so it was hard to tell how hard she was staring at my interaction with the prisoner. She beckoned me to the front of the procession with a wave of her skinny fingers.

  In front of us a black staircase led down into a field of red clay and rocks. Heat was pouring up from this space and I was reluctant to walk down. I turned to Meg, who was watching me carefully, and asked, “What’s this?”

  “This is the Seventh Circle,” she answered.

  As soon as I took my first steps down, the heat seemed to climb right onto me. I’m fairly certain that when someone came up with the phrase, “This place is hot as Hell” they had just come from a short stay in the Seventh Circle.

  This was the most barren and desolate area of the afterlife I had come to know. The ground was red sand, the sky was charred and filled with flaming meteors, and the air was filled with debris. The only thing I could see ahead was a mountain with a large smoking chimneystack sticking out of it.

  Suddenly there was a sound coming from behind us and a second army filed in alongside our sorry looking horde. Leading thousands of camera-headed Followers, spear-lugging rats in chainmail, and a large contingent of trolls was Hel. She wore black armor and what I thought was a scepter, but as she startin
g speaking into it, I saw it was just a spiked selfie-stick.

  “Hel-Heads. We have come to liberate the Inferno,” she shouted, and her army roared in unison.

  “What is she doing here?” I asked.

  Meg bowed. “We have made a pact. Only with our armies combined can we retake Hell.” Even as she said this, the Fury grimaced at the look of Hel’s army, namely the ordinary-looking men and boys just standing around looking bored. “What are those things supposed to be?”

  “This is my legion,” Hel answered proudly. “An army of unstoppable trolls.”

  From out of the group—and it was hard to tell from whom—one of them shouted, “This is just like that scene from The Lord of the Rings with the goblin army, only stupider.”

  A second voice replied, “Uruk-Hai. Whoever called them goblins should go kill themself.”

  “Shut up!” Hel spat and cleared her throat. “Let’s just get this over with.”

  The two Furies walked with me as a group of backward centaurs kept the rest of the party behind.

  “We call for an audience,” Meg shouted. Using her four wings to hover and Alec keeping her children close, I could tell the Furies were scared of what was to come. If whoever lived on top of that mountain was powerful enough to rattle even the Furies, what chance did I have?

  “We call for an audience.” This time it was Alec who shouted. But the meteors still fell. And the wind still whipped. And the heat just fucking killed everything.

  “We call—”

  “YOU CALL?” a voice boomed. “YOU CALL?”

  The smoke pouring out of the smokestack flushed into the sky and somehow made this sorry pit even hotter. Then a piece of the mountain the size of a New York City block bent off from the rest and flew into the air. It swooped over us, ultimately breaking its end into five stubbed pieces that collided with the smokestack. Drawing it from the mountain, a set of lips puckered underneath it as it blew more spoke into the atmosphere.