by Maya Banks
was speaking to a lover.
Like he wanted her to speak to him.
He checked his watch, impatient for today to be over with. He should be a gentleman and at least offer to take her out for dinner, but he couldn’t imagine a more perfect evening than for the two of them to eat in the comfort of their suite. Spending time alone and allowing the evening to take them where it would. Or at least where he hoped.
But as far as he was concerned, Eden was in the driver’s seat. He refused to put any pressure on her. Then again, he wasn’t a flaming hypocrite either. He wanted her badly and from the signals she’d given him, it certainly seemed—however mind-boggling it was—that she wanted him just as badly.
His dick had grown another two inches just from the knowledge that this beautiful, fantastic woman wanted him. That kind of female attention would make any man’s dick larger on principle. He hadn’t considered he had an ego, but he actually found himself puffing out his chest, standing taller, and well, his dick was in perfect agreement with every other part of himself, so it certainly stood to reason that he’d add a few extra inches in his excitement and anticipation of having her laid out like a veritable feast on his bed.
“Earth to Swanny,” Skylar said dryly. “They’re wrapping up. We need to make sure the car is ready so we can hustle Eden out of the building with as little notice as possible.”
Swanny shook himself from his thoughts and then nodded his agreement. “Have Joe and Nathan take the exit. Me, you and Edge will provide cover for Eden so we don’t take any chances with her safety.”
He’d run the soiree by his team when they returned to the hotel, but he planned to make it fast. It would give Eden long enough to shower and get into more comfortable clothing and then the evening would be theirs.
CHAPTER 18
SWANNY hustled Eden into her suite and gruffly told her to get dressed for bed, that he had to speak briefly with his team, but when he got back he’d order room service for the both of them. She gave him a look that told him with more than words she understood his plans for the evening and that even more, she was on board and had no objections. It was all he could do not to resort to a juvenile fist pump and make a first-class ass of himself.
He excused himself to go next door after making sure she locked and dead-bolted the door behind him so that even someone with a key card couldn’t gain access to her room.
He knocked sharply on Edge and Skylar’s door, knowing that Nathan and Joe would be inside waiting, as Swanny had instructed. He wasn’t sure how he’d ended up being lead on this mission. Nathan and Joe were the actual team leaders, but Swanny had pretty much taken over anything to do with Eden’s safety and to his team’s credit, no one argued the point with him nor was there a pissing match over who was in charge.
Edge opened the door and gestured him in to where the others were gathered in the sitting area of the suite.
“So what’s up, Swanny?” Joe queried. “Sky said there were some new developments but that you would explain when we all got back here.”
Swanny shot Skylar a look of gratitude for allowing him to explain the situation even though she’d been party to the conversation between her, Swanny and Eden’s agent.
“We all knew there was going to be a launch party when the shoot wrapped up and that we’d all need appropriate clothing to fit in, but Eden’s agent said that in three nights’ time there would be a soiree including everyone involved with the shoot. Eden will be expected to be there, so we will be too, which means that moves up our timeline to get appropriate evening wear so we don’t embarrass Eden or stick out like sore thumbs.”
The guys grimaced. Only Skylar smiled, seemingly happy with the opportunity to dress up for an evening.
“I thought we could break into teams so we get this done with as quickly as possible. Eden breaks for lunch tomorrow for an hour and a half. Skylar and I can accompany Eden to get us outfitted while the three of you remaining can go get fitted for a tux. I’m of the mind we can wear the same outfit for both nights. It’s not about us anyway. It’ll be Eden’s night to shine and no one’s going to give a fuck what we look like or who we are for that matter.”
Nathan nodded his agreement, but Joe frowned. “Are you sure we should leave Eden with only two of us for protection?”
“Well, I’m thinking if we all go we’ll draw a hell of a lot more attention than if just two of us go. Sky being a woman is helpful because for all anyone knows Eden is just shopping with a girlfriend. A girlfriend who happens to be able to kick the shit out of anyone who’s a threat.”
Skylar smiled warmly at Swanny, thanking him with her expression for his confidence in her.
“Okay, sounds like a plan, but we should at least go to the same place,” Nathan interjected. “Edge, Joe and I can hit the men’s department while you go with Skylar and Eden to get what they need, but then you’ll need to run by to get fitted yourself and all gussied up.”
The amusement in Nathan’s voice and the smirks on Edge’s and Joe’s faces just further irritated Swanny. As far as he was concerned, the conversation was over and he had a beautiful woman waiting for him in her room, and he’d promised her room service.
“I’ll head back over. I’m supposed to order in room service for Eden. I don’t think it’s a good idea for her to be out and about. I’d rather keep her appearance here on the down low as much as possible.”
There were several knowing grins that brought a growl to Swanny’s throat, but he ignored them and headed for the doorway, anxious to get back to Eden.
He knocked on the door and waited, simmering with impatience. Then he heard the sound of the dead bolt being released and the door opened. He was greeted by the sight of Eden wearing sleepwear similar to the lingerie she’d worn the night before. All he could think about was sliding those thin strings down from her shoulders, just enough to bare her breasts.
She opened the door and he recovered enough to walk in and refasten the locks. She threw him a tempting, sultry look over her shoulder and headed for the sofa in the living area of the suite without waiting for him to follow. He quickly pulled himself together and hurried after her.
He disgusted himself. He’d never considered himself to be the caveman type, but Eden brought the primitive alpha male in him roaring to life. He wanted to haul her over his shoulder off to his cave and keep her tied to his bed until he fully sated himself, though he knew that would be impossible.
Because as soon as he’d had her once, had tasted her, touched her, kissed her, had been inside her luscious body, he’d never be fully sated. He’d want more and more until he ended up stifling her, and that was the last thing he wanted.
He didn’t have a lot to offer a woman like her except to spend every moment of making love to her an experience that would hopefully make up for his other faults. This was important. Too important to fuck up. He had to make sure that he took it nice and slow that first time, shower her with pleasure and show her that she was the only woman he even looked at.
She deserved to be on a pedestal, with him worshipping at her feet.
“You hungry?” he asked, finally finding his voice. He’d been standing there gawking at her like a moron. There was no telling what she was thinking. She was probably having doubts as to whether she truly wanted him as much as she’d stated. Not that he could blame her. But if she backed out now, he’d likely lose his mind.
“Yeah, I could eat,” she said sweetly. “Want to split something? I put in a lot of hours today and didn’t break for lunch, so I have some calories to spare.”
“Tell me your pleasure and I’ll make it happen.”
Her cheeks pinkened and he found warmth chasing up his neck as well at the double entendre.
“They have a rotisserie chicken, a whole half, with vegetables and sides that sounds divine. If you don’t mind sharing, I’ll just eat part of the breast and the vegetables and let you have the baked potato and bread and the rest of the chicken, of course.”
Since he was starving for her and food was the furthest thing from his mind, he simply nodded his agreement and then called in their order.
“While we wait, why don’t you shower and get ready for bed too,” she said softly. “That way when we’re done, we can go to bed.”
Her voice trailed off, but there was no doubt in his mind what she was saying between the lines. She wanted them to make love tonight. Thank God the hotel room came stocked with an intimate care package because he certainly hadn’t packed condoms for a mission, for God’s sake. Nor would he have ever dreamed that he and Eden would be making love. It still had the power to bring him to his knees.
He hurried through his shower, making certain he was clean and didn’t smell like a goat. He winced as he dried off, seeing the scars that marked his body. The one on his face was bad enough, but the rest of him, mostly hidden by clothing, wasn’t pretty in the least. He hoped to hell it didn’t turn Eden off when it came down to actual intimacy.
He was already sporting an erection, so he pulled on jeans and a button-up shirt that he left open just to give her a chance to again view the sight of his scarred chest and midsection. She’d been sweetly accepting of them the night before, offering him reassurance, but he was just nervous enough to think she might change her tune once she got really up close and personal with him. After all, how would it feel against her skin when he was on top of her, the puckered ridges of the scars pressing into her flesh?
He was as nervous as a teenager taking his dream girl out on their first date. True, most of the pressure he felt was self-imposed, because Eden had been nothing but accepting of everything about him. But damn it, he wanted this to be perfect for her. For him, though he knew just being with her would be utter perfection in itself. It was her pleasure and happiness he had to focus on.
When he was done, he walked back into the suite just as a knock sounded at the door. Damn, but that was fast. Provided it was even the room service order. He damn sure didn’t want it to be one of his teammates dropping in and infringing on his time with Eden.
Swanny motioned for Eden to stay right where she was, then went to the door, checking the peephole. It was indeed room service and he was paranoid enough not to just throw open the door without being prepared for the worst. Someone could easily pose as a hotel employee to gain access to Eden’s room.
He reached for the Glock he’d set on the table just inside the door for occasions like this. For easy access if someone he didn’t recognize or was wary of came knocking. He quickly stuck the gun into the waistband of his jeans and yanked out his button-up shirt so the tails hid the Glock from view. Wasn’t the smartest thing in the world to shove a gun without a safety down his pants, aimed right at his dick, but improvisation was sometimes necessary.
He opened the door and motioned the attendant in with a gesture that clearly made the point to hurry. Swanny positioned himself between the young guy and Eden while the food was set up on the table. Eden was still lounging on the couch, wrapped in her throw as if she didn’t want anyone but Swanny seeing her. That suited Swanny just fine.
Only when the attendant had left did she let the throw fall to the side, and Swanny nearly swallowed his tongue. If last night’s lingerie outfit had him sporting a hard-on to beat all hard-ons, this one made it feel like he had a brick wedged between his legs. Thank God he’d worn jeans, though it was damn painful because if he’d donned boxers, his dick would be protruding out of the damn underwear in clear sight.
She stood, one of the strings sliding down her shoulder, giving him a tantalizing glimpse of one breast. Just a bit farther and her nipple would be exposed. As it was the material just barely hung over the tip, adding further to his already overactive imagination.
He pulled out one of the chairs for her and then took the seat catty-corner to her so he’d be closer to her and not across the table. He wanted to be as close to her as possible. The more time they spent in each other’s company, the more the intimacy between them heightened, growing until it had taken on a life of its own.
Eden moaned when the dishes were uncovered. “This smells and looks divine. I have to admit, I’m starving.”
Swanny frowned. “Do you often skip meals when you’re doing a shoot?”
She shook her head. “Not always. Like tomorrow I’ll have a lunch break, but sometimes, especially if we have to do a lot of retakes, we’ll work through lunch and sometimes even dinner. As it gets closer to finish we usually work long hours to meet our deadline.”
“Speaking of your lunch break tomorrow, Skylar and I plan to take you to buy whatever dress you want for the soiree planned in three nights, and the rest of the team is going to get outfitted as well so we blend in as much as possible. But I’ll take you and Sky to get what y’all need and then I’ll swing by the men’s department to be fitted for a tux. I figured it wouldn’t matter if we wore the same things to both events.”
Eden smiled, her eyes sparkling. “That sounds like fun. I’ll enjoy watching you be fitted for a tux. I bet you look absolutely irresistible all dressed up.”
He grunted his reply. He still wasn’t on board with all this, but he wouldn’t ruin either night for Eden. For her, he’d do damn near anything.
She cut delicately into the roasted chicken and placed a tiny piece on her plate, leaving the rest for him. Then she selected some of the steamed vegetables, but as she’d promised, she left the baked potato and other sides for him.
He felt selfish, even knowing that she was extremely careful with her diet, but he hated eating so much in front of her, and her seeing it knowing she couldn’t have it.
He wolfed down his portion, partly because he didn’t want to be sitting there savoring a meal in front of her, but he was also impatient to get to the rest of the evening. He just hoped to hell he’d read the signals she was sending correctly and that he wasn’t way off base by assuming tonight would be the night they took their relationship a step further. A huge step. Because for him, sex just wasn’t casual unless he determined that going in and just wanted or needed a night to blow off some steam and have a one-night stand.
With Eden, it was a whole different ball game. She was a game changer of everything he’d experienced with women up to now. He wanted her desperately, but he wasn’t willing to let his desire and impatience ruin something as beautiful as what was growing between them.
For all he knew she might only want a one-night stand and then she’d back off or move on. He was making a lot of assumptions, assumptions he had no right making. He was setting himself up for one hell of a fall if he allowed his emotions to overtake reason and read more into the situation than what it was in reality.
“Swanny?”
Eden’s soft calling of his name jerked him from his thoughts, something that occurred with frequency when he was in her presence. In his job, absolute concentration was a must. Distractions could get him or one of his teammates killed, and so he was used to having absolute focus. But with Eden? He found himself drifting into internal conversations with himself. Pondering, wondering, self-conscious and a host of other things that crowded his mind when he was with her.
He glanced up to see that she’d set her fork aside and finished the small portion of food she’d allowed herself.
“Are you ready for bed or did you want to stay up a bit longer?” she asked.
Though the words were said steadily enough, he was now familiar enough with Eden to see behind the face she presented and the fact that her words were casual, measured even.
She was nervous and hesitant, almost as if she were worried that he wasn’t on board for taking that huge step in their budding relationship.
“I vote bed,” he said, his voice husky.
She smiled, but her lips quivered slightly. And then she rose from the table, once again giving him an eyeful of the sexy outfit she wore. He nearly cursed because his dick hardened even more and he’d already sported an uncomfortable-as-hell erection through the entire dinner. Seeing her right there in front of him, her nightwear leaving little to the imagination, turned his dick to stone, pressed uncomfortably against the confines of his jeans.
He got up and held out his hand to her, gauging her mood. She slipped her much smaller hand into his and he gave it a light squeeze as they headed toward the bedroom. It brought an instant smile to her face and lessened some of the tension he could feel radiating from her.
“I’ll climb into bed if you want to get undressed,” she said, heading toward the king-size bed in the center of the room.
It was telling that she hadn’t told him to get changed but rather undressed. The two had very different meanings. And suddenly he was nervous because he would be undressing in front of her, his faults and scars in plain sight once again.
He hesitated, uncertainty gripping him. Eden gave him a look of such caring and tenderness that he immediately felt shame for doubting her reaction even for a moment.
“I want to see you,” she said. “All of you. There’s nothing about you that will remotely turn me off, Swanny. I know words mean little, but I want to show you. I need to show you that I’m sincere.”
Her words gave him the courage to undress, pulling his jeans over his straining erection, wincing at the discomfort. He gave an audible sigh of relief when his dick burst free from its restraints. But then he caught the look on Eden’s face as she stared unabashedly at his cock.
Her cheeks had paled and she looked decidedly uncertain and . . . afraid.
She pulled aside the covers on his side of the bed, inviting him to crawl into bed with her.
“There’s something I need to tell you,” she said in a low voice. “I’ve argued with myself over whether to even tell you, and aside from that I didn’t want it to change how you felt about me or your desire to make love to me. But you need to know. You deserve to know so that you can back out if I’m no longer someone you want. And I’ll understand. I promise. I’m not going to throw some tantrum and make an ass of myself. I’d die before guilting you into something you didn’t want.”
Unease gripped him around his balls, squeezing to the point of pain. She made it sound as though she were a wanted criminal or had done something unforgivable, and Swanny couldn’t imagine either scenario in the least.
He slid into bed next to her and automatically reached for her to try to soothe the unease he could see in her eyes. She didn’t nestle into his side as he’d intended and instead moved closer but kept her head up so she could look him in the eyes.
“Eden, you can tell me anything,” he said gently. “I can guarantee whatever it is you’re stressing about isn’t going to change a damn thing about the way I feel about you, and it damn sure won’t stop me from wanting you. I’m so hard right now that if you so much as touched me I think I’d come.”
She smiled, some of the tension escaping her features.
“The other concern was whether you’d even believe me,” she said in a quiet tone. “Because with the way I’ve been with you, so forward and bold, I can’t imagine you would even believe what I’m about to tell you.”
Now he was truly curious. Not worried because he couldn’t imagine anything she could tell him that would put him off. Her past lovers didn’t matter. What mattered was here and now and that she was going to be his.
“Just tell me, honey,” he encouraged. “You’re making yourself crazy over nothing I’m sure.”
She sucked in a deep breath, seemingly gathering her courage, and then exhaled in a long sigh.
“I’ve never been with a man,” she admitted in a faltering tone. “You’d be the first. I want you to be the first.”
He stared at her, stunned, in complete disbelief. Of anything he thought she would tell him, this was the very last thing he would have considered. There were so many what-the-fuck thoughts barreling through his mind that he was utterly speechless.
Eden was a virgin? It boggled his mind. The world’s most beautiful woman had never been with a man, and furthermore she wanted him to be her first? It humbled him and scared the shit out of him all at the same time.
What was he supposed to say to something like that? He didn’t feel worthy. Her first time should be special, with a man who didn’t look like he did. Someone more on her level. He suddenly felt clumsy and inept. He in no way underestimated the magnitude of the gift she was offering. But damn it, her first time should be perfect and he was suddenly seized by fear that he’d royally botch the entire thing up.
“Swanny?”
Her voice sounded fearful and she’d pulled the covers farther up until they were tucked under her chin. She sounded as uncertain as he felt, and he cursed the fact that he was making a royal muck of everything.
“I don’t know what to say,” he finally managed to get out. “I had no idea, Eden. And the thought that you want me to be your first . . . I can’t even fathom the magnitude of such a precious gift. Why me? You have to have had better opportunities—options. What could I possibly have to offer you? I feel like we’re caught up in a modern Beauty and the Beast situation. I’m not handsome. Most would consider me ugly. I’m scarred not just on my face but on my entire body. How could you want someone like me?”
Her expression softened and her eyes gentled, and the look she gave him was so achingly sweet that it made his entire chest tighten with emotion.
She leaned down, brushing her lips over his, and then as she’d done once before, she slid her mouth over the length of his scar, pressing tender tiny kisses along every pucker and ridge.
“You’re beautiful to me,” she whispered. “I don’t care what others think. They’re idiots for not seeing beyond your scars to the heart of you. The person I know you are. As to how I could want someone like you, I can’t give you a cut-and-dried explanation. It’s just there. Something about you stirs me in a way no other man has ever been able to move me. I’ve waited because it never felt right before, and my virginity is something I considered precious, not to be given to just anyone. But it feels right with you. Perfect. I know without any doubts that I want you to be my first lover. But if it doesn’t feel right to you, then I don’t want it to happen. I don’t want to pressure you into something you don’t want.”
“I want you more than I ever imagined wanting another woman,” he admitted. “I’m blown away by the way you see me, that you still want me even seeing what I look like. I won’t lie. I’m petrified because I want your first time to be something beautiful and precious, and I worry that I won’t be able to give you what you deserve.”
She smiled again, her hair falling like a curtain over her shoulder and brushing over his chest. “And here I am worried that with my inexperience, I won’t be able to satisfy you or that I’ll fail miserably. I vote we do this together and to hell with expectations or fears. Let’s just let it happen and we’ll figure it out as we go.”
He leaned up, cupping her cheek, and then pressed his lips to hers, sliding his tongue inside her mouth, tasting and savoring the sensation, the intimacy between them before they’d even taken that final step in their budding relationship.
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