by C. Luca
He gives me an odd look. “Nathan suggested she give you a chance.”
My eyebrows shoot upwards. “He told her that?” Nathan had made himself clear in the journal, but not once had I thought he’d actually voice the suggestion to Elena. I just naturally assumed it was up to me to try to get her to give me a chance.
Cameron’s expression turns grim. “It didn’t go over all that well.”
Shit. “Because I was with that blond?”
“Well, there is that. But I get the feeling there’s more. Nathan wouldn’t talk to me any further about it.”
My expression tightens as I try to figure out how I’m supposed to fix any of this.
“Nathan has that gallery deadline coming up,” Cameron deliberately reminds, cutting into my thoughts.
I give him a dark look. “I can’t just seduce her and hope it fixes everything.” Elena deserves better than that.
Cameron’s eyes narrow on me with warning. “I sure as hell hope not. You do that, and I’ll have to beat you to a bloody pulp.”
I flash my teeth at him. “Try it.” I could drop him in a heartbeat, and he knows it.
He sobers and releases a sigh. “Nathan needs to finish his paintings, so the sooner you figure this out, the better.”
“You say that as if I control when he comes back.” That shit is never up to me. It just happens—otherwise, I’d permanently stay.
“Just try not to mess things up further.”
* * *
I’ve tried everything to get Elena to have a full conversation with me today, but she’s managed to excuse herself before anything can come of it.
Now, it’s late at night, and I’m pacing the floor in the bedroom, aggravated that I’ve wasted a full day. It’s been a while since I’ve seen that stubborn side to her, but today it’d been out in full force.
Time for a change in tactic.
THIRTY
Elena
I feel terrible for going out of my way to avoid Knight yesterday. I miss the way things used to be, and now with Nathan’s suggestion rolling around in my head… It’s just a lot to wrap my mind around.
Then, when I’d realized it was Knight in the kitchen, I’d found myself feeling flustered since his presence was so completely unexpected. I’d thought for sure I’d spend the day at odds with Nathan, and instead, I’d found myself avoiding Knight.
I sigh softly to myself as I continue pushing the vacuum cleaner back and forth across the carpeted floor in the main room. How did everything become so complicating? Not long ago, everything was simple when my main focus was remaining professional and doing my job.
Then, Nathan and I grew close.
My chest twinges.
It hurts knowing we might not be able to make this work. My heart is also heavy knowing he’s pushing me towards another man. How can he suggest such a thing? It leaves me feeling rattled and doubting him and his intentions. Somewhere deep within me, my gut is telling me that he’s not trying to hurt me, that in some twisted way, he’s trying to fix the problem. But my head, which I’ve learned to listen to over my heart, is warning me that his actions aren’t jiving with the affirmations of how much he cares.
Then, there’s Knight.
I’d gone to bed early last night so that I wouldn’t know whether he went out or not. He’d tried to talk to me multiple times throughout the day, but I’d feared where those conversations could lead, so I’d shut them down before they could really go anywhere.
Now, I’m left feeling bad, because it isn’t like Nathan’s suggestion is Knight’s fault. Sure, we’d left things on bad terms that last time Knight had appeared, but he hadn’t acknowledged it yesterday. It was as if it hadn’t happened.
But then I had to go and avoid him, so I’ve begun something that should have never started. Completely frustrated now, I turn off the vacuum cleaner and rub my temple with my good hand.
I don’t know what I’m doing.
“I’m glad you stopped.”
At the sound of Knight’s voice, I look up and find him standing there, or at least I believe he’s Knight. This is the first I’ve seen him today since he had been MIA during breakfast this morning. “Vacuuming?” I ask, choosing to focus on the question.
He looks amused. “You vacuumed the same spot so many times that I thought maybe you were going to wear a hole in the rug.”
I shrug, a little put off knowing he’d been standing there for a while. “At least it’s clean.”
“True,” he concedes. His dark eyes gleam with challenge. “You gonna make me continue chasing you down again today?”
He’s definitely Knight, and I owe him an apology. I walk over and give him an apologetic look. “I’m sorry. I’ve just had a lot on my mind lately.”
“I’ve noticed.”
“Did you get a chance to eat earlier before I put everything away? I can make you something,” I offer.
“I’m good. What do you say we get out of here for a bit?” he suggests.
I’m instantly on guard, because going out with Knight usually leads to things that can’t happen. “There’s a lot that I wanted to get to today,” I say, wanting to evade any further misunderstandings—or worse—arguments like the one we’d had in the garage.
His expression tells me he knows I’m trying to dodge being with him. “You keep this place spotless; it’ll survive your absence for an hour or two.”
“Knight…”
“I want to take you somewhere.” He quirks an eyebrow. “Aren’t you at all curious to see what I want to share with you?”
Okay, he has me there. I am curious, and since it’s early afternoon, clubs and bars are clearly not our destination. “Just for a few hours,” I agree, finally caving.
Before I can make a move to cross the room to unplug the vacuum cleaner, Knight does it for me, and then squats down to wrap the cord around the vacuum cleaner’s base.
“I’m not an invalid,” I admonish lightly.
He glances at me as he rises to his feet. “I’m afraid if you touch the vacuum cleaner it’ll do some voodoo shit on you and make you stay instead of leaving with me.”
“Ha! I’ll have you know—”
A loud, deliberate cough interrupts our conversation, and we both look up to see Griffin standing there with Mr. Lancaster.
Shoot. The doorbell must’ve rung while I was vacuuming.
Mr. Lancaster’s eyes are cool as his gaze roams over me, and he doesn’t bother hiding his disapproval. “Am I interrupting?”
“Of course not,” I say the same time Knight says, “Yes.”
Irritation flickers across Mr. Lancaster’s face. “Well, which is it?”
Knight steps forward, vacuum cleaner forgotten as he blocks me from Nathan’s uncle’s view. “Nathan is unavailable.”
“So Griffin has informed me. I’d like a word…Knight.”
As much as I’d like to step around Knight so I can see what’s happening, I know it’d be best to remain as unobtrusive as possible.
“We were just leaving. Next time, call first so I know to expect you,” Knight tells him in a cold voice.
“You would do well to—”
Knight abruptly turns, holding out a hand to me as Nathan’s uncle abruptly stops talking with a huff of indignation. I slip my hand in his, and he silently leads me past a red-faced William Lancaster.
As soon as we’re out of sight, I ask, “Are you sure that was wise?”
Knight continues to hold my hand as we make our way through the halls. “This is my home, and he arrived uninvited,” he says simply, brushing off the awkward moment.
We reach the elevator and step inside. Then, we’re whisked down to the garage.
“I feel bad for Nathan,” I can’t help but murmur.
Knight doesn’t say anything, and once we step off the elevator and into the garage, he leads me to a dark SUV. It’s a surprising choice for him, but I don’t comment about it. We climb in, and I buckle up.
Aft
er the garage door smoothly slides up, Knight drives us up the short hill that connects to the driveway, and once we crest it, we see a limousine still parked out front. Evidently, Griffin still has his hands full with Nathan’s uncle.
I glance in the side mirror as we make our way down the driveway before turning left onto the road that will take us out of the neighborhood. “Where’s Cameron?” I was fully expecting to see a vehicle behind us.
“I insisted on privacy for this outing.” He glances at me. “Besides, you’re with me. What kind of trouble could I possibly get into?”
An unladylike snort escapes me.
He just smiles, and I watch as we exit the gated community.
“So, where are we going?” I ask, unable to contain my growing curiosity.
“You’ll see.”
Knight’s not one to fill silences just to simply fill them, so we’re both quiet as we enjoy the drive.
The last thing I expect is for Knight to pull into an animal shelter a short time later. I’m further confused as he parks behind the building and cuts the engine.
“What are we doing here?” I ask as I gaze at him with bewilderment.
“You’re about to find out.” He climbs out.
I exit the SUV, feeling more than just a little confused by this outing. An animal shelter had never crossed my mind.
Knight confidently enters through the back door, and an older woman is there to greet us. She beams when she sees him. “Mr. Lancaster. Welcome.”
He nods kindly. “Shelley.”
She hands him a small, clear plastic bag filled with what looks like animal treats. “They’re all yours.” She then leads us down a hall and opens a door before leaving us.
I peek in and see many animal cages. Mostly cats are in the smaller kennels along the wall, with a few bunnies, and what looks like a guinea pig. The larger kennels are filled with small dogs, and in the back are more spacious pens with the larger of the dog breeds. Meows and barks have filled the room.
I’m utterly baffled now but don’t voice my curiosity.
Knight looks at me expectantly. “Ready to make their day?”
“Absolutely.”
We move to the first cage closest to us, and Knight opens the door and allows a ginger cat to sniff his hand. Soon, he’s pulling the feline out and holding her in his arms while scratching her ear.
I reach out and pet her soft fur. “Do you come here often?” I ask. This is a side of Knight that I’ve never seen before.
“When I can.”
He doesn’t elaborate, so I don’t push. Slowly, one by one, we greet each animal and give them attention and a treat. The last ones we visit are the dogs in the pens. One in particular is sitting in the corner, eyes sad as it stares out at us.
Knight opens the pen’s door and carefully steps inside. I follow, gently closing the door behind us. I watch as Knight cautiously sits on the cement floor, back against the cage’s wall. I’ve seen enough to know that animals naturally gravitate to him, so instead of sitting beside him, I sit by the door and watch him do his thing.
He sets a handful of treats on the floor and watches the dog. “Hey there, bud. Want a snack?” he asks in a low voice, taking care not to startle the shy dog.
Knight’s not much of a talker with animals, but with this one, he’s doing his best to coax him over without pressuring him. It takes ten minutes before the dog tentatively wanders over, and as it eats a treat, it lays beside Knight’s thigh.
Knight pets the dog’s fur as his eyes lift to mine. “This is where I found Blue,” he comments.
“I thought you came across him in the neighborhood on your bike.” I could have sworn that’s what Cameron had told me.
Knight smirks. “That’s what they’re all supposed to think. I ditched Cameron and Griffin one day and came here with the intention of bringing home a dog. Since then, I come here when I can give them the slip.”
“I noticed you seem to be a familiar face around here.”
“I bring cash and give it to Shelley to split with the employees. They get a hefty bonus, and no one tells anyone that I was here.”
“Blue’s lucky you found him.”
He nods. “As an adult dog, he’d been here for a few months, so he was reaching the end of the road.” He gives me a sardonic look. “I saved that furball, and yet Griffin became his favorite. It’s all good though, he’s a good dog and enjoys being around us all. We like having him around too, and he lightens the mood.”
I’m quiet, sensing that there’s more that he wants to say.
Knight’s still petting the dog, who now has his head resting on Knight’s thigh. “Everyone thinks I’m always in control and nothing bothers me. Truth is, it’s a lonely life,” he admits. He looks down at the dog, avoiding my gaze. “I know I’m an alter, and my sole existence is to protect Nathan and the others.” His expression tightens. “My future is unwritten, because one day, I might not even exist. When I’m at the house, I know I’m not there because I’m wanted, I’m there because Nathan can’t handle his shit.”
I’m stunned. I’d had no idea that he’d felt this way and had never taken a moment to consider how Knight might view his situation. I’m a bit ashamed that I hadn’t asked more questions, but I also know that even had I asked, Knight would have likely dodged them. Today, for some reason, he’s opening up to me, and I appreciate that he’s letting me in.
Knight’s eyes lift to mine. “It’s a lonely existence, so I go out and live life while I can, which usually means enjoying the city life.”
I slowly nod, beginning to understand him better now.
“But lately, I find myself wanting to be at the house more, because I feel wanted for once. Hell, there’s even a hint of belonging that hadn’t been there before.” A muscle tics in his jaw, betraying that it’s not easy confessing all this. “You make me feel that way,” he adds in a gruff voice.
I stare at him, completely taken aback by his confession.
He looks uncomfortable as he says, “I’m not saying that with the intention of pressuring you into changing your mind about me. I just want you to know there’s more to me than just clubs and sex. Those are just fillers when I feel empty. I don’t feel as empty these days, and I just want you to know that.”
My chest aches for him and how lonely he must be.
Knight glances at the dog. “They remind me of myself. Lonely and lost. So I come to give them attention and hope I never see them again because they found their forever home—where they belong.”
God, there’s so much more to Knight than I ever thought, and now I feel terribly guilty for my assumptions.
He clears his throat and scratches the dog’s ear. “This guy better be gone the next time I drop by, or you might find him at the house one of these days.”
I can sense he’s finished sharing his vulnerabilities with me, and I shake off my melancholy mood and save it for later—when I’m alone. Knight wants to lighten the conversation, and I won’t deny him that.
“I don’t think that would be so bad,” I tell him.
“I doubt the others would feel the same.”
I smile. “When have you cared?”
“You’re right. I don’t.”
* * *
The rest of the day was quite enjoyable. It was nice spending time with Knight, and not once did he try to make a move on me. That evening, we eat dinner together, and then we part ways as I clean up after the meal, and he goes off to do whatever it is that he’s going to do for the remainder of the evening.
An odd sense of contentment has come over me.
After our discussion at the animal shelter, I know he has no intention of going out to be with another woman. As I wipe down the island counter, my hand slows as I think upon the changes I’d seen in Knight today. He’s been willing to be real with me, to be honest with what he’s feeling. It’s strange considering he’s always kept his emotions hidden.
So what’s changed?
If
I didn’t know better, I’d think that he knows about Nathan’s absurd suggestion, but that’s not possible. I shake off my suspicion and continue wiping down the counter. Perhaps it was the argument we’d had in the garage that brought forth this new side of him. Either way, I’m happy over the change and decide it’s best not to question it.
Once my evening routine is finished, and the rest of the night is mine to enjoy, I pour myself a glass of iced tea. The sun will be setting soon, and I plan to watch it as I do most evenings. I head out to the patio, and my steps falter when I find that Knight is already there. He’d pulled a second lounger close to the one that I always claim, and he’s lazily sitting there, patiently waiting.
My feet begin working again as I make my way over. “I didn’t expect to find you out here,” I comment as I sit down on my favorite lounger, setting the glass of tea on the nearby table that’s within reach.
Knight brings his hands up, lacing them behind his head, the movement bringing attention to his biceps. “I was waiting for you.”
I settle back in the lounger, relaxing as I watch the setting sun. “Why?” I ask curiously. We both know he could care less about the sunsets.
“Why do you watch the sunset every night?” he asks instead.
Rather than look at him, I allow my eyes to roam over the city in the distance. “I like knowing that I’m here and not down there,” I say honestly. “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen the beauty in anything. Now that I’m here and my life has changed for the better, I like to enjoy the view and just take a moment to breathe.”
Knight’s silent a moment and then asks, “You said your mother brought you to the States, but you’ve also said that you’re all alone now.”
He’s asking me what happened to her without outright asking in case it’s a touchy subject. Typical Knight, and it’s one of the reasons I like him so much. He’s a bold man, but he’s also kind—in his own gruff way. His question also reminds me that Nathan knows my history, but Knight doesn’t.