TAT Box Set

by Emjay Soren

  She looks at me completely dumbfounded. “You suck at flattery.”

  All I can do is shrug because what I said was true. I can’t try to be with her and pretend I am someone else. What I wont deal with is being punished for shit I got into before she gave me a chance. “It’s true though. I’ve wanted to get to know you better for a while now. I think your funny, Carrie, and… hot…fuck!” I drag my hands over my face, pissed off because I cant get the right words out. “I’m not saying this right.” I lean in and pull her chin toward me so she can see my truth. “I’ve never had to answer for myself when a hot girl is involved. I’m trying here, Carrie, but I’m still me and I won’t deny or apologize for how bad I want you.”

  “You need to know that I am not, nor will ever be, your play toy. I like you, Chad, you’re hot too! Noah will look out for me, but in the end the decision is mine, and he’ll respect that. If it’s ass you’re looking for though, then move along, because I am so far from the girls you’re used to. I have no desire to use my body to keep you around.”

  “I just wanted to go for a drive and talk, and maybe get a second date without your brother. I just want this to go better than it is. I know I have a sketchy past when it comes to women. I don’t deny the women or the fact that I was in it for the sex. But I am not a liar, I tell it like it is and I want to go on a damn date without a fight or your brother’s antics or you freaked out. All in, remember?”

  She finally laughs and I see her relax so I finally breathe. “What did you mean when you said everyone knows how we are? Me and Noah?”

  I shrug, I’m not even sure you can explain Noah and Carrie. “Just since meeting you and Noah, it’s obvious you guys are close. You understand each other when no one else knows what you’re saying. You have each other’s backs and seem more like friends than siblings.”

  “We’re all we have.” She said.

  Before I can respond, to tell her that isn’t true, she leans to the side of me as Noah sits down. “Carrie, give the poor boy a break. I was being a dick earlier. Chad explained himself. You’re safe, Sissy.”

  “Yeah, I figured as much. Where’s Ramey? Are you hiding?”

  Just then I saw Ramey coming towards us with two beers in hand, all her friends gone. “Uh… Noah?” Carrie says and I color myself curious too.

  “No, it’s cool. She knows the score. She’s coming home with us tonight.” Carrie nods and I know she didn’t approve of his answer. “Trust, Carrie.” He said his eyes focused on her.

  The trust thing, it’s like a code word to cut shit or something. It is something we all have come accustomed to over the years. We even say it now too. It’s just a small part of the Carrie and Noah puzzle.

  “Whatever.” She says and looks at me. “Want to head out for that ride?”

  “We got a request, boys, care to play an encore?” Shamus interrupts with guitars in hand.

  I took the guitar, but set it aside gently before declining. “Not tonight. I got a pretty girl willing to let me drive her home…” I look at her with a smile, then to Noah “And her brother is a dick so I’m out!”

  As she is saying her goodbye’s to Noah, Ramey interrupted and floored me. “Carrie, Noah was telling me that you play as well and that you can sing. Why don’t you ever join in?”

  “Really, Noah? Trust!” Carrie says as she tries to storm off, looking at Noah like she would kill him. I could care less, I wanted to know if my girl was a musician.

  “Oh no you don’t, I wanna hear you jam.” I say and pull her close to me. “Nothing is sexier than a woman with a guitar and a tune. Play me something, Carrie girl.”

  Noah is ripping Ramey’s ass but I just lay it on thick knowing Carrie likes when I flirt with her. She finally gives in and I cannot wait.

  “Noah, calm down, I’m sure she heard it in passing or something. It’s not like it’s a secret.” It probably was a secret, but fangirls are crazy as fuck and I guarantee Ramey is that fangirl who will creep to get information.

  I could barely contain my excitement as she strummed a few chords, groaning and disappointed when she led into ‘Nutshell’ by Alice in Chains.

  “Jesus, Carrie, you too?” Shamus asked with a laugh, and we all made gagging noises. We all loved Alice in Chains, but to Noah it was religion. They were always a Seattle original so the airplay was always current even if the music wasn’t after the death of front man Layne Staley. He had told me once when he was wasted that he had a couple of burned CD’s he hid that his friend back home, Sully had made him. It was the only music he could listen too. The more I learn these last few weeks, it tells me it wasn’t that his dad was maybe a strict dick about music, but that maybe it was a hidden pleasure to an abused kid hiding it.

  Carrie’s laugh pulled me from my thoughts. “Who do you think taught me? Of course I know Alice tunes.”

  I sat fascinated as she finally started playing another song. I was enthralled by her smooth raspy voice and with the ease she played.

  Carrie Beckett continued to amaze me.

  Chad

  Turns out I got the wrong flowers. I also set Noah off about thirty times give or take the entire night, set her off too, but other than that I was happy and content when she said we could finally leave.

  We talked about different concerts and bands we love when she admitted she had never been to one of our shows. “I know I probably sound like a fool, but are you honestly telling me you have never been to a show?”

  Her sweet blush was enough to tell me. “I think if I had been to a show I would have said hi to you and the guys, don’t ya think? Noah is a little more than protective when it comes to his music. He says it’s his outlet and all that, so I respected it and stayed away. After that bull tonight though, I think he was full of it and wanted me away from the whoredom.” She trailed off as she said it and as much as I wanted to reassure her, it would need to happen in time. Trust is everything with the Becketts and I wanted to earn Carries.

  “Well then, it’s now my mission in life to get you to a show.”

  She laughed and shook her head. “Look, I already find you attractive, Chad. I don’t need you all sweaty on stage to make my knees weak, so the whole ‘I’m a Rockstar, baby’ vibe… you can drop it.”

  I hate that she thinks I’m just some act to get in her pants, but the truth is I don’t need to fake shit and she deserves to know that. I said all in and that means no bullshit. I take a deep breath and shift gears before looking at her. “Carrie, it wasn’t a line. To be honest, I don’t need lines to get girls. They come willingly.”

  I waited for her to say anything knowing her house was close, but as we drove she stayed silent. I want her to know me, but she never will unless she gets over whatever fucked up image she has in her mind of who I am. All I can do is respect her boundaries and try again tomorrow. I pull into the driveway and park the truck. I don’t even get the chance to look at her before she opens the door to leave.

  "Where you going?" I ask in a panic, scared I blew it with my honesty.

  She stopped and looked at me confused. "I figured this was the end of the trip."

  "Do you have to go?"

  You should because I am the guy who will try to kiss you.

  "No."

  "Good." I jumped out and dropped the tailgate, taking her hand in mine. "I like the view here."

  She looked at me and laughed. "What view do you see? The backyard has the view of the lake.”

  I smiled because she had no idea the effect, she had on me. "This one..." I cup her cheek… "I like looking at you... I like you, Carrie."

  I want so bad to kiss her and throw all my cards on the table, but I had to prove to myself and the world it seemed, that I was here for the right reasons. "I think I like you too. You freak me out though. You’re intense, in a good way."

  I’ll accept that for damn sure. "How so?" I ask and brush my thumb along her cheek.

  "Because I am super inexperienced with this stuff and I know you aren’t."


  "I’m not looking for any strange, Carrie. I like you. I can get sex anywhere." I hated how blunt I was. I know I sound cocky, but she needs to know that I could be anywhere else with any woman and I’m not. I’m sitting here with her hand in mine happy as fuck to just have the honor of taking up her time.

  "But I like you, and regardless of your brother’s bullshit, or the fact I’m four years older. I think we should go on another date before you decide to brush me off."

  I don’t know what comes next, but I know I am all in and already ruined for anyone else.

  Chapter Six

  Chad

  Hey beautiful…how’s my girl today?

  This was becoming a ritual, the texting. It was torture not being able to see her as often as I would like. She worked every damn day and I was slammed with promo shit for the band and booked out two weeks in advance for tattoos. I called her every night and most mornings before we both had work, but today I was booked all but the hour I had before my next client.

  Your girl?

  She responded and I had to smile. I closed the curtain to my booth and leaned back hoping to chat for my break. This was the first time I had called her my girl. She has always been mine, but today I had to tell her. I needed her to know she was mine before I put hands or lips on her.

  That’s how I see you these days. It ok? I reply, hoping it is ok. Carrie doesn’t put herself out there easily and the image of me through the years has her second guessing everything.

  If I say yes will that make you my man?

  Fuck yes it does. But, I reply calmly.

  Carrie girl I have been your man since the night you agreed to go all in.

  I hope she is happy about that. Fuck, why cant I go slower, calmer?

  “Blake, we have some walk in’s, can you come here real quick?” Bobby asks while I wait for her to respond. I am kicking myself for moving too fast. She doesn’t know where my head is or how bad I have wanted her for so long. She thinks this is random and here I go throwing everything at her.

  “Yeah.” I say and leave my phone on my drawing table. I would rather be distracted than wait on her to brush me off.

  I head out to see the waiting are packed with bikers. “This is Chad Blake, he’s been here about six years and one of the top artists in the shop.” Bobby introduces me to the guy in front of me looking over my book.

  “Hey man, nice to meet ya.” I say and shake his hand.

  “Name’s Jake.”

  “Nice to meet ya Jake. You have anything in mind?” I ask as I assess the amount of walk ins with this group and the artists we have.

  “Yeah, I would like the MC logo with a red ribbon and wings somehow incorporated?” I nod as he speaks taking it in as I look for Noah.

  “Yeah give me a few minutes to draw it up. You have a picture of the logo I can use?”

  He hands me a photo of the logo and takes a seat. “Hey where’s Noah?” I ask Bobby.

  “Fuck if I know. He hasn’t answered shit today. I’ve been cancelling and rebooking his clients.” Bobby says and my stomach plummets. I recall the conversation a few weeks back about his dad making waves.

  “I’ll try reaching out in between clients.” I say and Bobby starts with the next biker waiting.

  It’s almost one by the time I get home from the shop and get my phone on the charger. The studio was insane and after rearranging everything to accommodate the bikers I didn’t have time to think outside of worrying about Noah. I look at my phone and my stomach drops.

  All in is proving to be the best damn decision I have made in a long time. I really like you Chad, even more- I want to be your girl. You terrify me and excite me at the same time and I don’t know what to say or do. I’m scared that it’s all a stage and before long you’ll move on to more experienced and desirable girls.

  Fuck! She sent that at eleven-forty-seven this morning. She probably thought I ignored her because of the depth of her admittance. She laid it out for me and I didn’t fucking respond!

  I try and explain hoping she is awake.

  The night got slamming busy. A group of bikers came in all wanting commemorative pieces for a fallen friend. We had a waiting list like never and I didn’t want to send some lame message in response to yours. Call me we need to talk- x

  I wait twenty minutes and text again, hoping she is asleep and not pissed. Who the fuck have I become, honestly? I don’t know the protocol here. Do I keep texting, do I call? Do I leave it and go to bed. My stomach rolls when I think of Noah not reaching out all day and now Carrie.

  Haven’t heard from you yet, and I am not above blowing up your phone. Call me- x

  And then another one.

  I don’t know what I was thinking not hitting you a text back but I will never do it again Carrie. I just wanted to tell you… I feel the same.

  Oh my God! I am about to panic. Worry for her and Noah, after the threats of their dad, his insane behavior the last few weeks. I worry she is pissed because I ignored her all day. I dial her number now as the panic get’s the best of me.

  I get her voicemail and slam my hand on my dresser. “Carrie… I … fuck, Carrie. I feel exactly like you baby. I wanted to tell you this, but not over text or the phone. I wanted to come to you tonight and lay myself at your mercy, but I got slammed at the tat shop and just got home. I was not ignoring you, Carrie. I wanted it in person, but I’ll say it now. I want you, only you, and without question I will do whatever you want at any pace… call me baby…”

  I call Noah next and if he doesn’t answer I am headed over there.

  Two rings and he answers sounding like shit and maybe drunk. “The fuck man? What the fuck you need?” He slurs and I want to kill him.

  “Where the fuck is your sister? Where the fuck have you been all fucking day?”

  “Are you my dad?” He asks and laughs like that’s a joke.

  “No, but you go missing and now your sister isn’t responding… you tell me to look out and when I do you think I’m joking? Fuck you Noah.”

  I hear rustling and Noah curse. “Let me check man, hold on.” He says and I hear a door open then shut. “She’s in bed man.”

  I feel like I could pass out. Thank fuck she is safe, that they both are. I would rather her hate me than be in danger. “Good. What the fuck happened to you today?” I ask, still pissed he bailed. It isn’t like him. Noah doesn’t pull that sort of shit. He takes his clients seriously.

  “Shit that is none of your business.” He says and ends the call. I don’t know what is up with him lately. I get he hates the idea of me with his sister, but it is more than that. He is off his game in every way.

  I pull up the texts between Carrie and I and try to salvage my crazy texts from before.

  Just called Noah and he said you were asleep. So I will say this… I am sorry if you fell asleep thinking I didn’t care or that you weren’t enough. Carrie, you are everything and it scares the fuck out of me in the most unbelievably wicked way… yours most definitely- Chad x

  She called me after I sent the last message and I answered the first ring. “Hey…” I didn’t know what to say, I was glad she called.

  “Hey. Sorry, I crashed and just woke up when your message came through.”

  “Sorry I woke you… wanna call me tomorrow?” Fuck, she makes me act like a crazy fool. I feel like an asshole for waking her up.

  “No. If you want to talk, so do I.”

  “The fact you’re willing to talk to me makes me want to talk all night.” I cleared my throat. “I’m sorry I made you think I was ignoring you, Carrie. I just got busy.”

  “I wasn’t worried Chad.”

  The way she said it, with relief and a coolness that just isn’t Carrie, I had to laugh. “Liar.”

  She feigns shock. “What? No, Chad, really, I barely thought of you.”

  I laugh and its silent for a moment. “I want to know what you’re wearing, what your room looks like. I want to know everything so I can see you clearly in my
mind while we are apart.”

  “Damn, Carrie…” I never thought I would hear her talk to me like that, but it was welcome anytime. “I’m wearing boxers. Only. You can see my room anytime and I love that you want to think of me like that.”

  She sounds shocked that I answered, but it was too late we were playing this game now. “Now tell me what you’re wearing because that’s all I need. I know what your room looks like.”

  “Tank top and boxer shorts.” She was nervous but answering me. Good girl.

  “Mmm. Nice.”

  “Well, I guess that cuts out some of the loneliness.” She says with a giggle and I want to be beside her.

  “Not even close, Carrie. The only thing that would help that is if you were here with me now.”

  “Well, I would be there if I didn’t have a crazy brother to contend with.” I knew she was coming around and that had me smiling.

  But, like always her fear of who I am and what she thinks I expect makes her doubt herself. “I wasn’t inviting myself over, I mean… I didn’t…”

  I chuckled at that. “No backing out of that now, Carrie. I’m on my way to you, meet me outside.” I hit end before she could argue. She might be scared or nervous, but I would prove that I just want to be near her. This wasn’t about sex, it was about us getting deeper.

  I made my way there quick and text her to meet me outside.

  Carrie

  “No backing out of that now, Carrie. I’m on my way to you, baby, meet me outside.” With that the phone went dead.

  Oh, shit.

  I jumped from my bed and immediately got dressed before I started primping my face for this little tryst, or whatever it was. Was he coming over so we could have sex? What was the playbook for after midnight meet-ups? Whatever it was, there was no way I was backing out.