by Emjay Soren
She laughs and shoulder bumps me and I almost lose my balance. I am not a high heel kind of girl, I’m more flip flops and Chuck Taylors kind of girl, yet she somehow got me into four-inch heels that were indeed pretty damn awesome.
“I’m thinking Blake may choke on stage when he sees you.”
I roll my eyes and she stop, tugging my wrist so I am forced to stop with her. “I mean it Carrie. Chad is lucky to be on your arm, not the other way around. You look beautiful and happy and together they make you a bombshell baby.”
I love her so much and so thankful we met the minute I was free from the hell we left behind. I felt giddy from her words and couldn’t help but smooth out the black cowl neck top I bought that fit me like a second skin and showed just enough of my ‘ladies’ that Chad may slobber some. I wore my usual skinny jeans with cute little rhinestones on the bottom pockets and white stitching in the seams. Paired with the heels Candy forced on me even I could admit I looked the part of a Rockstar girl. My hair was up in a messy but purposely done knot and my single karat diamond earrings that Aunt Lilly gave me for my high school graduation.
“Well thanks babycakes. You’re looking pretty fresh yourself.” She had gone on and on about the tub in the room Noah had reserved for them at the Edgewater Hotel.
“Yeah well a day of pampering from your sweet and horny brother will do that to a girl.”
I cringe and shiver at the thought. “Remember when we talked about boundaries and things we should and shouldn’t tell each other?”
She laughs and pulls me close now that we are almost to the entrance and the fact, we are seeing them in a stadium for the first time. “Where’s the fun in that?”
“Your helpless you know that?” I ask laughing at her distaste for all things secretive and sexual.
“No, I’m hopeful and happy knowing what I hope will happen will just as soon as this show is over. On a side note… your brother is a monster after a show. I may not walk tomorrow Carrie.” She is laughing so hard she snorts, and I want to smack her for trying to ruin my life with her and Noah sexcapades.
“Shut up dammit!” I laugh as we enter the stadium and see the meet and greet room just to the left of us. “Let’s go see some sexy rockstars!”
The room holding the meet and greet wasn’t what I thought it would be. I was expecting screaming fangirls, crying, desperate for a touch from the rockstars in the room. Turns out… not so much. Both women and men walked around the room, some drinking or snacking from the trays that were laid out on the tables.
It was mellow and relaxing and not at all the party I assumed it would be. “Are you at all disappointed?” Candy asks from beside me eyeing a group of girls that were maybe sixteen all sporting the VIP backstage passes and giggling in excitement.
“Kind of, I expected panty dropping and screaming girls hanging from the rafters.” I replied and almost giggled when I saw a woman well into her forties blush when Chad and Noah both greeted her, prepping to sign one of their CD's.
“Yeah, complete let down.” We followed the crowd and avoided standing in line with the fans waiting for autographs and decided on a small couch behind the bands and sat to snack from the spread out.
We watched in bored fascination as the line dwindled and the fans made their way out to the stadium to wait for the show. Assuming this was our call as well to follow the guys to wherever we would watch, a line of scantily clad women made their way in drones. Both Candy and I watched the women make their way as if no cause or reason and started to drape themselves over every available man in the room.
Candy and I both gasped at the same time as two very skanky, very trashy women made their way to Noah. Trying to keep an eye on my brother and his sometimes forgetfulness to who may be watching him, I still followed the line as a single woman caught my sight, her eyes set on my boyfriend.
It was Trisha. Chad’s ex was arguably one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen. I can’t deny the fact that seeing them together fit the bill. I watch in horror as Chad smiles, uncomfortably thank God, and talks to her about things I can’t here. My heart has stopped when I see what looks like fear and anger on his face. Trisha is smiling coyly unaffected by his obvious state of uncomfortable.
Finally, he looks over his shoulder to me, smiles and winks but there is no heart in the action. He does this before he pulls Trisha in for a tight and cold hug, patting her on the back and trying desperately not to let her body sidle close to his. All too quickly he pulled back and Trisha’s dagger glare fell on me with hatred.
With that look she spoke volumes on her hate for me, clearly Chad told her he was taken and though the bitch had eyes on me I smiled and waved and then looked away. I trusted him. I hadn’t doubted it before, but now it was even more solid just exactly how much I trusted him.
The next woman in line went for Cal and he welcomed her with excitement. Shamus was known for his relationship with Cassa and also known as a lost cause. He wasn’t ever leaving her, and they knew it, some still tried but failed miserably.
I followed Candy’s stare back to Noah, who was being polite but avoiding any physicality toward the girls. It was a big deal for him to hold back from letting the woman hang on him, but his eyes met Candy with a knowing smile, and she relaxed beside me.
I should have been paying attention to the crowd, but I was occupied when the security team came to get the guys and take them to their dressing rooms because the show was starting in an hour and TAT was the opening band.
Chad blew me a kiss as he headed out of the room and I, like a cheesy spaz, pretended to catch it and felt my cheeks heat at the overly cheese factor. “You guys are so sweet its diabetic,” comes the snarky and sultry voice beside me.
I turned to see the drop-dead gorgeous ex of my boyfriend, Trisha. Wearing a skintight black sleeveless dress and six-inch heels that made her legs go on for days, weeks even. “Well, that’s true love for ya.” I say just as sickly sweet.
“True love?” She squeals incredulously, like my telling her we were in love was the most shocking unbelievable thing she had heard all day.
She laughs once the shock wears off from my comment. “Carrie, I hope you understand that Chad doesn’t love anyone other than Chad.” She was a snide bitch with no class. I knew this, but there was something in her tone that forced my attention.
“Well Trisha, that’s where you’re wrong; Chad loves me.” I stood my ground and defended what we had and would with everything inside of me. He was mine and there was no way some loud-mouthed bitch could change that. This was my first test dealing with the swarms of women who would kill for a chance with Chad. Trisha had his past, but I had his future.
“I don’t think you have the experience or the stamina for the likes of Chad Blake.” Her tone was far from polite sure, but she sounded almost sad for me. “I know you love him, maybe he thinks he loves you, but faithful-” she looked at me with her eyes wide and brows cocked- “that man has no idea what the word means. I saw your claw marks in his back in Spokane when me and my girls came to the show. I saw them because I left a few of my own in their wake.”
Everything inside of me froze with an eerie fucking calm. I saw the marks in his back, the old ones that Noah had tattooed. I had kissed and licked along the remaining lines; lines that seemed too fresh to have been mine. Lines, I thought Noah had reopened when scrubbing Chad’s back for the tattoo. I wasn’t stupid however, and I knew that there could be several reasons for how she knew about the tats. Cal was always networking the band and Facebook had been overhauled with over three hundred pictures from the tour. There were a few ways I knew this. I also know that Trisha had been it for Chad the few times they dated. I knew that the relationship between them had been tumultuous at best and that yes, she could be very bitter for having lost him.
But the fresh scratches made me nervous as did the fact Trisha and I had one thing in common. We both knew Chad like his back scratched, and hard. Not willing to give her an inch and see what her accusation
was doing to me, I smiled thick and sweet looking her square in the eye. “I know it’s hard when the one you love moves on. I bet it’s even harder when who he moves on with is in a higher grade of class than you ever would or could be. I know it’s hard to see the adoration and the respect for me in his eyes, but do not mistake who I am. I am who you will never be.” I squared my shoulders and took another step closer wanting to snap her vibrant red hair from her head. Oh yeah, my claws were out and sharpened.
“I warn you once Trisha and only once. I can see how bad it eats you that you will never touch him again, but I won’t be this nice next time. I will punch you in the face without thought or reason if you don’t find your boundaries and keep behind the line. Cross it and all bets are off and I’ll beat your pretty little ass. Women like you are why we have a bad reputation as drama and jealous. If, and it’s a big if, but if Chad does come back to you for more of your lack luster sex and you think it’s because your special or what he wants or needs, I can promise you it’s not. You are one in a million in a long line of warm bodies that had kept him warm until I came along.” I shrug even though I am scared shitless from what she said. “He chooses to come back to that life; it will be because I left his. Understand?”
I didn’t wait for a response but made my way to the door refusing to miss his big show for this woman’s bullshit. “Carrie?” She called and I wish I hadn’t stopped but I did, my anger pushing me for a fight.
I turn and look at her but say nothing when she walks closer to me. I am stiff and on edge with my fists clenched in case she really does want this fight to happen. “Did he tell you why we split up? After three years, off and on, why he and I ended?”
“No, but it’s because it doesn’t matter to me.”
“It should because it’s gonna happen to you, it has happened to you.” Her smile was sad, and it bothered me trying to figure out exactly what she was getting at. “He has already done to you what he did to me. He was in Olympia for a show, slept with a fangirl and got her pregnant. You know the show, right? No, you don’t because Noah didn’t want you to know anything of what they are like. He fucked me three nights ago and didn’t mention you until after his conscience banged on the door, or in your case, Noah. Ask your brother Carrie and see what he says. I may not be pregnant, but I was definitely with him, scratching his back and ruining the one thing that mattered to him, just like he ruined me.”
Trisha walked past me then and left me shocked and hurt, Candy standing there shocked stupid beside me. “Please tell me that skank didn’t just try and say Chad cheated on you?” Candy was furious and definitely ready to battle beside me and defend my honor, but I was too busy trying to catch my breath and keep my tears at bay. Could Chad have cheated? Yes absolutely. Was I being a fool by giving him the benefit of the doubt? Most likely. Would Noah let Chad cheat on me and do nothing? I highly doubted it. Jesus fuck! The scratches were new, and I knew they were but had overlooked it…Chad in bed earlier begging me to never leave… oh God we had sex without a condom.
Before I could process my next thought, my stomach turned and emptied right there in the middle of the meet and greet room.
*
By the time I was able to take a deep breath and speak, Candy had Noah by the balls and in the women’s bathroom just outside the room I vomited in. I had splashed my face with water and was now trying not to cry the ugly cry. Once I saw Noah, I knew it would be harder than anything to keep my mouth shut and let him have his moment in front of all Seattle.
“What the fuck Candy? Damn!” Noah snarled as she pulled him into the room, her hand literally gripping his nuts in her tiny hand. The minute Noah saw me, though in pain from her tight grip, he forgot everything and gently pulled Candy from his junk so he could get to me. He looked between us both, fear and anger a heartbeat in his eyes. “Is dad here?”
God, I hated that he worried so much for me. There was no way that Chad would cheat on me and Noah would know and do nothing about it. “Nothing happened.” I whispered and looked at Candy pleading with her to not say a word.
“Candy gripped me by the balls in front of everyone and forced me out of the room telling me you had a bone to pick with me. Now my bone won’t work again thanks to super strength over here.” Candy rolled her eyes but gave me a look that said she hadn’t told him anything about what Trisha accused.
“I got a little sick in the meet and greet room and was scared to tell you guys because it’s embarrassing so Candy overreacted so that only you would know.”
I felt like shit for lying but I was not doing this tonight, not when he was about to play Seattle. I would confront this head on tomorrow but tonight I was business as usual. I felt even shittier when Noah went from irritated to concern.
“Sick? What happened?”
“Nerves, I guess. I’m so excited for you guys and worried at the same time.” I shrug and force my voice to stay even.
“Well don’t worry about the puke sissy. I’ll tell Ben on my way out to get a cleaner in there and I’ll blame it on a fan.” He kissed the top of my forehead and then went to Candy, his demeanor changed entirely. Now he was prowling, and I immediately looked away. “You on the other hand will be kissing my blue balls better tonight.”
He didn’t wait for her reply when he unlocked the door and left like he hadn’t grossed me out completely with his demand.
“Little does he know I don’t mind sucking his nuts.” Candy stated without a hint of shame or embarrassment. “That’s beside the point though. What the hell are you doing keeping quiet for?”
“Because Noah will lose his shit either way. If Trisha is lying, he will make it a point to humiliate her and if she’s telling the truth it’s bound to get seriously ugly between us. I want tonight for Noah and the guys, even Chad. They deserve this show Candy and I am not gonna cost them even a moments discomfort.”
“And if you find out that Chad did sleep with her? You think it won’t eat at you all night until you know for sure?” She had a point, I knew this was going to drive me crazy all night, but I owed Noah more than that, let alone if Trisha was lying, I definitely owed Chad more than that.
“It’s not just them I need to think about here Candy. Chad and Noah aren’t a two-man band, this would affect Cal and Shame too. I don’t think Chad could focus as strong as he needs to if I went and confronted him with this now. I can wait the show out.”
I could see her concern and it was warranted but I wasn’t budging on this. “I hope you’re not deferring this Carrie because of fear. Your day has been shitty all day and I get that but protect your heart right now.”
“You think he did it don’t you?” I know her answer but I ask anyway.
“I don’t think she would lie so elaborately by involving Noah or admitting that she did it on purpose to hurt Chad and not you.” Her eyes didn’t leave mine as she spoke, and I felt my tears well and threaten to fall. “I’m sorry Cares but yeah, I think she was telling the truth.”
I cannot imagine my brother lying for him, protecting him. Just earlier he told me Chad needed the truth and to be let in. Why would he want me with someone who would betray me so bad? “I’ll talk about it with him later. I know you guys had plans with ball sucking, but I need to ask him after the show.”
“Oh, honey there will be no sucking or fucking if I find out he covered for Chad.”
“Candy don’t you let this come between you and Noah. You guys are finally in a good place, don’t let it get between you.”
“Carrie if Noah knew about this and covered for Chad, it means he would have no issues doing the same to me. This will become a major character flaw one that I have issues with big time.”
If I don’t leave now, I know the tears will come and then I will lose control. I look to Candy who looks just as thrown as I do and hook my arm through hers. “Well let’s go test our acting skills and pretend we are dying to be here.”
“You got it babycakes.” She plants a loud puckered kiss agains
t my cheek and squeezes me tightly as we walk toward the back of the stage and find Ben who plants us at the side of the stage with a few minutes to spare.
By the time they take the stage, the stadium is in a roar of thunderous cheers, cell phone lights illuminating by the thousands in front of the stage. This was a stadium full of twenty thousand some odd fans all screaming right this second for Thick as Thieves to start the show.
Chad looks to the side of the stage spotting me and he smiles, and I want to scream at him for making me doubt him. I smile back and blow him a kiss, one he catches, and I think I might hate him a little for even playing along. Before I ruin my plan and charge the stage kicking and screaming, I hear the baseline of my brother’s guitar and the moment passes.
Chad drops his Rockstar mask in place and faces the crowd, radiating sex and promise to every single screaming fangirl. He says nothing but looks out over the crowd with a slight chuckle, throaty and smooth and the screams get louder. “Fuckin’ A Seattle! It’s damn good to finally be here!”
The crowd erupts in a fit of cheers and the entire band jumps in behind Noah and my tears fall without shame. No matter what happens after this show, they made it. They made it and there was no turning back now. The fans were screaming and begging for more, more of TAT and more of Chad. I was glad I got to witness the beginning of their success, but it was all bittersweet.
A beginning for them.
An ending for us.
I guess I answered my own question.
Yes, I believed Trisha.
God Dammit!
Chapter Twenty
Carrie
Lights were blaring from overhead and it was insane inside the venue. They guys had seven songs and were just finishing their first. By the look of the crowd and the excitement it was obvious there was no way TAT wasn’t meant to go big.
I didn’t want to watch as the song ended, and Chad ran fingers through his hair causing wails of promises scream out from the crows. More than a few ‘I love you’s’ were shouted and Chad and the guys yelled their devotion back.