TAT Box Set

by Emjay Soren

  “You said that?” He asked me with a smile, pride lacing each word and I nodded wincing at the pounding pain in my head.

  “He kicked me in the ribs and stomach and the back of my head, but I don’t know if he hit me after I passed out.”

  Noah winced and looked away and I immediately knew it was worse. “Get me a mirror?” I asked not sure he would do it. The minute I told him what I knew and saw his wince, the pain from my lips and nose, my jaw, I felt it all and knew he had continued to hurt me long after I stopped fighting.

  Noah was there with the mirror, a look of discomfort lacing his features. “That bad huh?” I ask and smile weakly taking the mirror and gasping at the sight. Both of my eyes are swollen and a red tinted purple fading into a deep black/blue. My lip has two splits on the right side and my jaw is blue and swollen. I have stitches in two places on my forehead, three small stitches along my right eye and it looks like eight along my hairline in the center.

  “Wow, he really nailed me.” I try for lighthearted and fail miserably.

  “I’m so fucking sorry Carrie.” He whispers and it takes me back to the days we tried to save one another. There were just too many unneeded apologies between us.

  “Why Noah? I left of my own free will and knew the dangers. I called Seth and asked him to come get me.” I remember watching the phone with everything I had while screaming hoping he heard me.

  Noah nodded knowingly and I figured Seth had explained. “Do we know where he is? Did he run?” The he being our dad.

  Noah looked away and I knew whatever he was hiding would be bad. “Whatever it is just tell me Noah?” I spoke through my own rapid heartbeat, the one that was making my monitor go berserk.

  Noah never one for dragging things out cut right to the chase. “Seth got there when the police did and told them to beat down the door. Dad was naked and so were you, tied and bound on the table. The cops took him in, and Seth called me told me to meet him at the station.” He looked away before he continued.

  “Dad admitted everything Carrie. Every.Fucking. Thing.”

  Holy fuck!

  “Holy fuck!” I gasp and Noah nods finally looking toward me.

  “All our secrets are out. I gave a statement to the press two days ago, as well as to the cops. I tried my best to explain without ruining our lives. Ryan Corbin sent over his PR staff to help spin our side, so we didn’t get chewed up.”

  “Two days? How long have I been out?” I am terrified he will say years even though I know he won’t.

  “Ninety-seven hours and”- he looks to the clock on the wall- “thirty-one minutes.”

  “Holy shit.”

  “Pretty much.”

  “So, it’s what? Sunday?” I am trying to do the math in my head but it’s difficult.

  “Saturday. Yesterday was your birthday. I rocked my iPhone all day listening to really bad country music until I wanted to bang my head against the wall.” I looked around the room and saw the flowers, Jasmine, the same he always gave me. A bag of Smartfood popcorn was curled up on the table by the sink and a six pack of Wild Cherry Coke beside it.

  “When we going to the bar?” I ask with a smile knowing my brother all too well.

  “Let’s do a thing at a time here yeah?”

  I laugh and it hurts tremendously. Noah is immediately nervous again and I feel bad for all he has been through while I was asleep. I wasn’t ready to face the fact that the world knew my secrets, I just couldn’t.

  “Where’s Candy? Can you call her?” I want to see her, and I know she can distract me from all the chaos and bull shit I am about to endure. I refuse to ask about Chad, of all the shit going on right now, it amazes me that the pain of his possible betrayal weighs the heaviest.

  “She’s on her way and should be here any minute now.” Dr. Harding walked in then and walked right to the bed. Dressed in his pristine white jacket, his name embroidered on the left pocket of his chest. He was tall, taller than Noah, and a serious hotty. Deep green eyes, green as moss and blonde hair with shades of brown. His jaw was chiseled in perfection with a perfect bow mouth.

  “Well I was wondering if Noah was telling the truth about those bright blue peepers.” He smiled and I liked him instantly. His hand outstretched to mine he introduced himself. “I’m Jeff Harding and I’ve been taking care of you these past four days. How’s about we do a run through for a physical and cover what’s going on and see what our next move is.”

  “Okay.” I reply and look to Noah, knowing what he means by physical and, he will poke and prod me in all my most painful places. It was best Noah got some air. “Can you call Aunt Lilly and Uncle Seth and ask them to come up?” It was the perfect distraction for him, that and I knew he would go smoke and probably call everyone important. I immediately thought of Chad and wanted to cry for some insane reason.

  “Are you in pain?” Dr. Hotty asked before placing his stethoscope around his neck. I nod and lean back trying to relax. After an hour of explaining my ruptured spleen, three broken ribs and the mild swelling on my brain as well as a severe concussion, I felt like I could throw up. They had placed me in a medicated coma to help with the pain, so my blood pressure and heart rate stayed low. By doing so they could administer stronger medications for the pain without damaging my brain. The rawness of my throat was from a breathing tube I had used for the first forty-eight hours.

  “If everything seems to stay in line and your vitals don’t go crazy, you should be free of this joint in a few days.”

  At the mention of the word joint I remembered the trust meeting and wondered what was going to happen now and hoped like hell Seth and Lilly wouldn’t get backlash from this. “Ok great.” I mumble my mind off in another place, only interrupted by my best friend.

  “Dr Hotty giving you grief?” Candy asks as she sidles into the room like she owns the place. Dr Harding looks at her and rolls his eyes with a genuine smile. He has obviously grown accustomed to Candy and her uncontrollable mouth.

  “No just a few pains here and there.” I reply and feel tears build from the joy of seeing her. “I’m so glad you’re here.” I whisper through tears and watch as Dr Harding leaves the room closing the door behind him. Once the door was shut Candy released a deep sigh and hugged me as close as she could without hurting me.

  “I have never been more fucking scared in my life Cares.” She says but doesn’t release me. “You said you were going to the bathroom and the next thing I know we get a call your being rushed to Overlake Hospital via life-flight. Thank God we were in Seattle Carrie. We got here before you did.”

  I am nodding as she vents to me and I feel awful for ditching her at the concert. “I’m sorry I bailed, now so more than ever, but I couldn’t watch him melt the entire stadium with winks and smiles why my heart was breaking and he sings a fucking ballad with her of all people.” Remembering the feeling of betrayal and how much I loved him at the same time was hard to take.

  “Don’t apologize Carrie. What he did was fucked up and I would have bailed too.”

  “We don’t know for certain if it’s true Candy. I need to talk to him.” I had to admit I was a little thrown that he wasn’t here and worried. Had I really meant so little, had he played me that hard?

  “I fucking do know for certain and so does Noah. Didn’t he tell you what happened?”

  I am still as stone when she says Noah knew the truth. I needed the truth and knew it would kill me to hear it. “No, he didn’t. But now your gonna tell me.”

  *

  Day four

  You woke up today. I cried when Noah told me. I finally found my way to the waiting area and wasn’t shocked to see we all were waiting for you. Shame, Cassa and Candy have taken up residence in here waiting for word. Noah never leaves and it worries everyone, but I don’t leave either. I relate to him not leaving, our reasons are the same.

  He and Candy rushed back when he told us you were awake and now, I wait again hoping for words meant for me. But they didn’t come, yo
u didn’t ask to see me, and I understand why. I know where we stand right now and with all you are dealing with, I just want you to know that I will wait forever.

  The world knows your secrets now and I hate the humiliation you both feels. Cody should be the humiliated one, you and Noah should be crowned the worlds strongest people. The Sinners stepped in and helped us all burry the story. Even Candy was talking to me because it took all of us to fight it. We are all sitting here tonight though, and I am back in the silent zone. I spoke to Noah, he said I needed to give you time, and I will…

  But please never forget how much I love you Carrie. My Elizabeth, My Juliet…My Dorothy.

  Ps…trust me

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chad

  “Hey Carrie girl.” I say from the doorway where I waited for her to come out. She was wearing tight black stretchy pants and a pale purple tank top. Her hair up, I could see every bruise and cut on her body and I wanted to murder him.

  “What are you doing here?” She whispers in shock.

  “What do you mean? I had to see you for myself and make sure you were okay.” I speak softly, carefully picking each word.

  “You’re almost a week late.” She speaks with an animosity that wrecks me.

  “Maybe in seeing you I am but I’ve been here every day waiting on Noah or Candy to talk to me.”

  “Every day huh? What about Harvey?” It was like a slap. I would never ignore either one without reason or she knew it, deep down she had to know that.

  “Gramps has women coming out of the woodwork keeping him healthy. I needed to be where you were, he understands that.”

  “Sounds like you and Harvey have more in common than I thought. Who’s been keeping you warm at night? I know it’s hard for you to go longer than five days before you need a warm body to curb the loneliness.” I took her anger and tried to keep calm. I want to talk to her but not at the expense of making things worse.

  I stepped from the door and tried to make my way to her as it shut behind me. She looked destroyed by my very presence and even though I understood it, it broke my heart. I broke her trust and in turn it broke us.

  “You need to let me explain Carrie. I know you’re pissed, and I would be too, but you said you trusted me, and I need you to trust me now.” She smacked me across the face and then pushed me away from her, spinning to yell at me.

  “How long did you date Trisha?” I rub my cheek, pissed at the assault but willing to take what she will give me. So, I answer like I’m not fazed by her anger.

  “On and off for almost three years.”

  “Why did it end?” What the fuck did it matter? Did she think I was legit with Trisha this whole time? I decide the truth, the whole truth is all I have regardless of how it makes me sound. Too many people can confirm my story. Everyone but Carrie knows the true past of Chad Blake, but she can have it now.

  “I cheated on her when we were at a show. A few months later the girl I slept with showed up saying she was pregnant, and it was mine. I said I wanted a test and she agreed but it ended up not being mine. Trisha and I were on a break when I slept with her, but we had said we would stay faithful while we were apart working shit out. The truth was, I didn’t love her, and I didn’t like me when we were together. I was happier when we were apart so I took the pussy way out and fucked Leslie who I knew would tell Trisha. They were best friends at the time. Once we knew her kid wasn’t mine, I was over the bullshit with Trisha. She was with me for status and every time we called it quits, she would fuck my friends, so I returned the favor.”

  “Like Shame and Noah and Cal?” I shook my head no.

  “No never them. She would hang out at the shop and hit up parties I was at and then she would leave with a previous client or even a few guys from work. It was cool, they knew I didn’t care about her that she was a guarantee piece of ass and a warm body when I needed one. It’s cold I know it, but I never pretended to be anyone else. I never told her I loved her, and I never made her a single fucking promise. Not like I did with you.”

  “And Spokane? What happened?”

  “We were celebrating and drinking with the guys from Sinners. There were backstage chicks everywhere and the bus was crazy. We knew we had an entire day’s drive so we could rest up. I started telling Noah, Shame and Cassa that I was booking you a flight because I missed you. Every time I tried to get my phone out and call, Cassa and Shame would take it from me saying drunk dialing you would make me look like an ass.

  “Around four in the morning I stumbled to bed. I had the absolute craziest dream about you, about being inside you. And I thought it was you. I said your name a thousand times but when my eyes opened and I saw Trisha, I flipped. I threw her off me so hard she landed on her ass on the floor, slamming her head into the door. I was screaming at the top of my lungs when Noah came in. Fuck I thought he was gonna kill me.”

  I see the tears in her eyes and hate that I am the reason for them. I step forward and take her hands in mine, knowing the truth will definitely set her free, away from me. “Trisha didn’t hide anything baby. She told Noah exactly why she tried to sleep with me and laughed when he booted her from the bus. By the time I had calmed down and sobered up, Noah had talked me down and told me shit would be fine but to tell you when the tour was done so my head was straight.”

  She yanks her hands from mine. The sound she makes feels like I had filth on my hands. “You needed your head straight? Chad you fucked me without a condom. You were never gonna tell me. Noah might believe you, but I don’t.”

  “Carrie this is ridiculous. Shit like this happens to guy’s all the time when they are in a band. Women have been known to steal condoms, break into rooms and busses. I admit I should have told you when it happened, I should have told you how serious Trisha and I had been at one time, but I never would have sang with her, slept with her or even talked with her back when I met her if I had thought I stood a chance with you. I swear baby that if I could fix this I would, I’d have never let her on the bus, let alone the shows she sang in.”

  I can see her breathing heavy as she fights her tears and I want so bad to hold her, to protect her from the harm I cause. I try to hold her, but she flinches from me and it kills me. “I’m sorry baby I didn’t mean to grab you and hurt you.”

  “I don’t hurt from your touch Chad, its everything else that’s breaking me right now. I told you how sacred I was, I begged you to never betray me and you promised me you wouldn’t.”

  Fuck!

  I feel my eyes burn and try so hard to keep my shit together, terrified this really is it. I’ll beg, grovel I will do anything to keep her, she must believe that. “Carrie, I know, and I swear I will never drink again, I’ll never let a fangirl near me again, I’ll leave the band if I have to Carrie. You are all I want from this life, everything else is a bonus, it’s you I can’t be without.”

  “Don’t talk like that. The band isn’t just about you and quitting won’t make me stay. Your bed could get cold any time of the day no matter where you are. You think that two days away from me and you end up in bed with her, that once you guys really tour the bed wouldn’t get colder? I have dreams of my own Chad. I want to write books and tell stories, finish college. You want to tour and make it big which will be easy from what I understand. Let’s call this what it was and be done.”

  My stomach drops at her words, that so quickly and easily she can turn me away like I am nothing. The only thing she can call this is devastating. “And what was it?” I finally ask as I fight to stay calm and strong. I wont fall apart if she genuinely wants to end this.

  “A summer flings.” She shrugs as she says it and like that! I am back to being the fuckboy and nothing more. She is the love of my fucking life and I am a fling to her…

  Well, fuck that noise. I don’t buy it.

  I stalk her until she has her back against the wall, not to intimidate, no I am proving a point. To myself or to her I just don’t know yet. “Fuck this Carrie. I don’t
deserve it. I get why your gun shy now, after what happened but I fucking didn’t know and I kicked her off me harder than I should have. I was damn near physically violent because I was that scared, and you’re gonna pretend I was a fling? Fuck you baby, don’t bother. I’ll get over this and over you if that’s how little I meant to you but do not lessen what you meant to me.”

  She can hate me all she wants, but she can’t tell me that my love doesn’t matter. She can throw it all away, but it’s still real.

  “What I meant to you are you kidding me? Why even talk to her still Chad? And why never tell me about her or the fact you were singing fucking ballads with her? You promised me that I could trust you and you broke it, broke me!” She was screaming at me now, tears falling down her perfectly beautiful and bruised face and she looked like she was in physical pain. Well so the fuck was I.

  “Go Chad.”

  “Carrie-“ I try but she cuts me off.

  “Go Chad!” She yells again before going to the bathroom and slamming the door on me.

  I stayed for I don’t know how long and listened to her cry until I couldn’t take it and finally left. I waited to fall apart until I got in my truck and then I cried. For the first time in my life, I had a broken fucking heart.

  *

  My tears only lasted so long as I made my way to Slave to the Needle. I trusted Noah, for years I trusted him. He put this shit show in motion telling me to wait it out and keep my head straight. Telling me she would understand. This isn’t just stress from the news getting out and the trauma of it all. This is entirely a different brand of fucked up and his name is all over it.

  I get inside and see him in his booth cleaning up. “Hey-” he says but I cut him off with my fist to his jaw.

  I wait for him to get up and realize what’s happening before I go at him again, but Bobby and Deal another artist got between us before I could get the second punch in.