Island Girls (And Boys)

by Rachel Hawthorne

  We ended up at a club right on the beach. The windows were open and the breeze was blowing through. We could see the sunset. And with the promise of night came the promise of something more. I couldn�t explain it.

  Dylan was so hot. Not dressed up, of course. His black T-shirt, stretching across his shoulders, was tucked into his snug jeans.

  I was in low-cut jeans. My striped top stopped just above my waist. The area at the shoulders was cut away so my shoulders and a small portion of my arms were bared. It made me feel sexy. But not as sexy as he was.

  It wasn�t fair that he could look this hot with so little effort. I�d spent hours getting ready. And he�d probably done nothing more than shower and throw on his clothes.

  A live band was playing in the corner. Tables were scattered around the area where people were dancing. We were sitting by the window. As shadows crept into the room, the lights remained low. It was romantic, like something from an old movie.

  �What are you going to do after college?� he asked.

  I laughed. �I have no idea. I need to get through it first.�

  �Take a guess.�

  �I�ll work for some company, start out in management and work my way up to CEO.�

  �You�re ambitious. Will you be on the island during the summers?�

  I wondered if he was asking because he was thinking of coming back.

  �Probably. I like it here. It�s so relaxed.�

  Except when Chelsea and I were at odds, but I wasn�t going to think about that. Not tonight.

  �I love hanging out at the beach,� he said.

  �And you�re going to go all the way down the Texas coast?� I knew the answer, but I was hoping maybe he�d changed his mind. Maybe he�d say, �No, I�ve decided to just stay here.�

  �All the way,� he said.

  I fought not to let my disappointment show.

  �I�ve been planning it for years,� he continued. �Bumming along the coast. Seeing what there is to see. Meeting people.�

  �You�d think one stretch of beach would look pretty much like the next.� I was beginning to sound desperate. Don�t leave. Don�t leave. Don�t leave.

  �You�d think. But there�s always something a little different. If nothing else, the people are different.�

  I didn�t want to think that he really meant the girls were different.

  I stood up abruptly and gave him what I hoped was a seductive smile. �Let�s dance.�

  We danced fast, we danced slow. Even if the music was fast, we danced however we wanted. I loved that about Dylan. The fact that he never conformed to the expected. It was so unlike me, and I began to think that maybe it was true what they said: opposites really did attract.

  He was spending the summer as a beach bum, while I was working, worrying about a budget and chores, and being responsible for the care and upkeep of my grandparents� house. Sure, when he went into the army, responsibility would be all over him. But first, he was taking a true vacation away from it.

  I admired and envied him at the same time. It seemed so courageous to set out with a plan that was nothing more than seeing what the next day would bring. No lists, no tasks, no budget. To be a free spirit. To see where life took you.

  It had taken him to me, and I didn�t know what to do about it in the long run. To accept that these few days, these last hours would be all that we�d ever have, and make the most of them? Or shy away from the challenge?

  But how could I know which choice wouldn�t lead to regrets?

  Maybe they both did. Maybe it was only a question of the kind of regrets�regrets for doing something, regrets for not doing it.

  I was getting way too philosophical and heavy here. And maybe Dylan realized it, because he drew me close while we were dancing and began nuzzling my neck. I stopped thinking about regrets and choices and the future.

  I got swept away in the now.

  We stayed at the club until it closed at two. Then we walked out into the night, to the beach where the waves lapped at the shore. Since tomorrow was my legitimate day off, I wasn�t worried about staying out late, because I could sleep in.

  For a while anyway. Then I�d get up and make a picnic lunch and go sailing with Dylan.

  He put his hands on my waist and brought me against him, dipped his head, and kissed me. Long, lazily. I loved the way he kissed.

  Drawing back, he placed his forehead against mine. �Do I take you back to your place�or to mine?�

  �For tonight, to mine.�

  Maybe tomorrow, after another day with him, another evening, I could give him the answer he wanted.

  CHAPTER 27

  Wednesday morning I basked in the luxury of sleeping in. Although I�d told Dylan that I wouldn�t sleep in his tent, he hadn�t been in any rush to get me home. We�d taken our time, walking along the beach, kissing, talking. It was as though once he accepted that he would be sleeping solo, he was okay with it.

  Disappointed, sure. I would have been disappointed if he hadn�t been.

  But no hard feelings. Total understanding.

  It had taken us more than two hours to make our way back to my place. Even then, we�d gone to the crow�s nest, searched out the dolphins in the bay�using the faint lights from town, the moon, and the stars. We�d talked some more and kissed a lot more.

  It was close to dawn before I crawled into bed.

  So now I was waking up, stretching, grateful for a true day off. A day to spend with Dylan without the guilt of lying to my boss. Or most of the day. It was already close to noon. I had a sailboat to secure.

  I got out of bed, shuffled to the desk, and powered up my computer. It was the first time in days that I�d had a chance to look at my horoscope. Almost since Dylan had come into my life. I clicked the shortcut and went straight to my horoscope.

  You�re not the only one thinking of the cost of commitment. A major change is on the horizon. Be prepared.

  A commitment and a major change? I sat on the edge of the bed. It could only be talking about one thing: Dylan. And our relationship. We were going to bump it up to the next level.

  I got up, walked into the hallway, opened the door to the bathroom�

  And froze.

  A strange guy was standing at the sink brushing his teeth. He gave me a frothy grin. �Hey.�

  �Who the hell are you?�

  �Mike. Amy said I could��

  I held up my hand. �Never mind. Just hurry up, will ya? I need the bathroom.�

  �Oh, yeah, sure.�

  He spit, rinsed his toothbrush�at least, I hoped it was his, and not mine. He wiped his mouth then sidled out past me.

  �This is a great��

  I slammed the door. Another stray. Another guy. The summer of girls that I�d expected to have was turning into the summer of guys.

  But then I thought of Dylan, and decided that maybe it wasn�t such a bad thing.

  By one that afternoon Dylan hadn�t shown up, and I had one of those duh!?! moments. Since we�d made plans to go sailing and the sailboat was at the campground, he�d probably expected me to meet him there, not have him come get me.

  I wished I�d realized this long before, like before Amy and Chelsea had taken off in the car to get to work. I thought about asking Noah for a lift but he wasn�t up yet�probably exhausted from his first night at work. Besides I sorta felt guilty that I�d forced him to get a job.

  Get over it, Jen. You didn�t force him.

  Still, I decided to rely on my own means of transportation. I stuffed sandwiches, towels, and sunscreen into a backpack. I�d pick up anything else I needed at the CCR store once I got there. I put on an Astros baseball cap to shield my face from the sun. Then I got my bike out of the shed and headed out.

  As I cycled along, the sun warming my legs and arms�I was wearing shorts and a tank top over my bathing suit�I thought of Dylan. Our relationship.

  I�d only known him a short time
, but I cared about him so much already. I loved spending time with him. And I felt a little guilty that I hadn�t been as understanding as maybe I should have been when Chelsea had Noah move in with us. I might owe her an apology. I�d have to think on it some more. But later.

  Right now, all I wanted was to think about Dylan. The blue of his eyes. The way his dark hair fell across his brow. The way the breeze ruffled it. His shoulders. His height. He was quite simply perfect. Nice. Fun. And a magnificent kisser.

  I turned off the main road onto the road that led to the campground, my heart pumping as hard as my legs. I could just imagine him�standing beside his tent, hands on his hips, saying something about girls always being late. Then forgiving me for messing up�for not confirming how I was supposed to get to the campground�and giving me one of his long, slow kisses.

  I cycled over the blacktop between the main building and the snack bar. I could see the trailer and motor home parked along the bay, the vehicles between which I could usually see Dylan�s tent. Only it wasn�t there. I could only see sand and beyond it water.

  It had to be a mirage, the sun somehow reflecting off their tent making it seem invisible�like a Klingon cloaking device. That had to be it.

  Peddling faster, I tore through the campground. Gasping, I braked at the edge of a paved campsite. I got off my bike, dropped it on the ground, and walked through the site to the beach. Maybe he�d moved his tent and it was hidden from view, behind another trailer. I got to the sand, but his tent was nowhere to be seen. Nowhere. The beach was practically empty, deserted. This was all wrong.

  This was my day off. We were going sailing.

  As I made my way to the marina, I think my staggering walk might have resembled the cat�s yesterday morning. I was in shock, disbelief. I went inside. Mr. P was behind the counter.

  He looked up. �Hi, Jennifer. Feeling better today?�

  I nodded, but inside I was thinking, I feel worse, so much worse. I licked my dry lips. �Did Dylan work this morning?�

  �No, those boys were gone before I did my early morning run.�

  Every day before dawn, he went through the campground, making sure no one had sneaked in without paying. Not that it would be easy for a trailer to do any sneaking.

  �Did he say anything to you yesterday�about leaving, I mean?�

  �Nope, but then, he wouldn�t. We had a pretty informal arrangement.�

  �Okay. Thanks.�

  �Are you all right?�

  I shook my head. �I�m not feeling as good as I thought I was.�

  �You go on home. Spend another day in bed. There�s a summer flu going around.�

  I nodded. �That�s probably it. I�ll see you later.�

  I left the marina, walked back to where I�d left my bike, and stared at all the sand.

  Dylan didn�t say anything about leaving. But the truth was staring me in the face.

  He was gone.

  CHAPTER 28

  I needed to talk with someone. And I couldn�t talk to Chelsea. Not after she�d warned me that he was looking for a girl in every port. Not after all the fights we�d had.

  So I went to the snack bar.

  �Hey!� Amy yelled over the noise of the arcade, where a few sunburned kids had obviously decided to take some time away from the sun. �What are you doing here on your day off?�

  When I didn�t respond, but just walked up to the counter, she said, �You look awful. What�s wrong?�

  I felt awful, felt the stupid tears stinging my eyes. �Dylan�s gone.�

  �Shit.�

  �I knew he was going to leave. I just didn�t know he was going to leave today. We had plans. We were going sailing�but his tent is gone.�

  �Maybe he just moved it. Closer to our place.� Her eyes held hope, like she thought she could convince herself and me.

  �Maybe.� But my heart told me it was a false hope. He was gone. I just knew it.

  �You gonna order or what?�

  I looked down at the lobster-red face of the kid. He was probably about eight. At that moment, I hated the male species. �I�m gonna what.� I turned my attention back to Amy. �I�ll catch you later.�

  �Why don�t you hang out at the pool?�

  I shook my head. �It�s my day off. I want to�do something special.�

  Special was pathetic. Special was pushing my bicycle along the water�s edge and scouring the bodies coating the beach, looking for a familiar shape, listening for a familiar laugh, searching for that familiar lopsided smile. Holding onto the hope that Amy had tossed out to me, the hope that Dylan had just moved his tent up the beach instead of farther down the Texas coast.

  Special was buying myself a coconut-flavored snow cone at the snow cone shack and then wondering why it was blue. Special was seeing couples hugging and kissing and remembering that I�d planned to spend my day doing exactly that.

  I watched the sandpipers running over the sand, the seagulls swooping down from the sky. I watched the tide wash away sand castles and felt it washing away my hope as I got closer and closer to my end of the island without sighting Dylan.

  Then I had a horrible thought: What if I sighted him with another girl? What if he hadn�t moved onto another section of the coast but on to another girl?

  No, we�d had something special. Not special enough to hold him, but special enough that it had meant something.

  It had to have meant something. I just didn�t know what.

  So I sought out the special day I wanted. Special was putting the sunscreen on myself and lying on a blanket on the sand, wondering why he hadn�t said good-bye. Wondering if he�d left like he did because I hadn�t given him what he wanted.

  Realizing that I�d done something really, really stupid.

  I�d fallen in love with him.

  CHAPTER 29

  It was early evening before I finally found the energy or the desire to make my way home. I walked into the living room and slumped into a chair, barely noticed by Amy and Chelsea who were watching Titanic. It seemed that with Noah working, we�d regained feminine control of the TV and the remote.

  I�d seen the movie a dozen times. I�d come in at a really bad place, watching Leonardo and Kate in the backseat of an old car, fogging up the windows, not knowing what the future held. My life was like that gigantic ship, sinking into the depths of the ocean. Or in my case, the depths of despair.

  With a dog in her lap, beside her, and at her feet, Amy looked over at me. �Oh, my gosh, you are seriously sunburned.�

  �I know.� I could feel the heat on my skin, the tightness, the slight pain. Yesterday, I�d had Dylan to constantly slather lotion on me. He�d done it like every ten to fifteen minutes, laughing while he did it, saying he needed to protect me from the sun. When really all he wanted was an excuse to touch me. As if he needed an excuse.

  Today I hadn�t been able to rouse the energy to put it on myself after that first application.

  �Amy told me about tent guy boogying out of your life,� Chelsea said.

  I stared harder at the TV. �Go ahead and say it, Chels.�

  �Say what?�

  �I told you so.�

  �I wouldn�t do that.�

  But I heard in the echo of her voice that she was doing exactly that�a slight smugness that hurt as much as my sunburned skin.

  �We�re going to the Sandpiper after nine,� Amy said. �When it isn�t so busy. Noah said he�d treat us to an appetizer.�

  �And it�ll give me a few minutes to see him,� Chelsea said. �I miss him so bad. I haven�t seen him since I left this morning because he has to be at work before I get home.�

  I heard the accusation in her voice, and it was the last straw. A guy I�d really liked had disappeared without a trace, and she was still harping about the little bit of time that she�d be without Noah.

  I came up out of the chair like a zombie with a vengeance. �You know, Chels, I�m rea
lly getting tired of your constant, continual whining. The world doesn�t revolve around you every second of every day. You need to grow up.�

  Chelsea�s mouth dropped open, and Amy�s eyes grew as large and round as the dog dish she�d bought and put in the kitchen. They were both looking at me like I�d turned into the Incredible Hulk.

  I should have stopped there, but it was like things had been bottled up and now that I�d released a bit, the rest needed to follow.

  �You think you�re disappointed in how this summer is going? News flash! So am I. It was supposed to be you, Amy, and me having a great time. Suddenly we�re sharing the place with a guy�and you didn�t even bother to ask us how we might feel about it.�

  �Amy�s asking guys��

  �You did it first. I�ve spent most of my time since we got here slapping my head and asking myself, �What were you thinking when you suggested this?� I thought it would be fun to live on the island in a house near the beach with my best friends. So far, it�s been nothing but one huge disappointment.�

  I knew I�d regret the outburst later. But not now. Now I was way too exhausted and hurting too much to care.

  �I�m going to go take a shower.� I took two steps before turning around and glaring at Amy. �Or will I find another strange guy in the bathroom?�

  She slunk back into the corner of the couch. �Rent is expensive on the island, and we had the extra beds.�

  �We have extra floor space, too. Are you going to start lending it out?�

  Oh, my God. I could actually see her calculating how many strays she could take in if she let them sleep on the floor.

  �Never mind,� I said wearily, not certain if I was saying never mind to Amy�s tendency to take in strays or to Amy herself. Or to Chelsea or the dogs or the cat. I was tired of it all. I was tired of this great summer that I�d planned not being anything at all like I�d planned.