Just a Touch Away

by Chris Paynter

  “How about a walk?”

  Fred didn’t need to be asked twice. He hurried over to her and pranced in place as Lindsey clipped on his leash.

  Today, she chose a longer trail. The autumn temperatures had dropped overnight. She tugged her jacket collar up a little higher and started down the dirt path. Thankful that she didn’t encounter any other hikers, Lindsey kept her gaze on her scuffed boots as they kicked up dust. It hadn’t rained for almost two weeks, and the trail showed it.

  Eventually, they made it to an old pier at the end of the trail. Lindsey came here a lot when something troubled her. In the past, she had made a lot of treks in order to work through her emotions about Eric. Now, she needed to figure out why Elise’s words had hit her so hard.

  Lindsey wasn’t stupid. She knew Elise was jealous of her newfound love and would say anything to strike down Lindsey’s happiness. Then why the hell had Lindsey let her affect her so? She settled on the pier and tugged Fred close so he sat next to her. Draping her arm around him, she stared down at their reflections in the placid water. The woman staring back at her had a furrowed brow that, granted, wasn’t a good look. Fred, on the other hand, panted happily next to her, a grin planted on his face.

  If things were so simple. Why couldn’t she have the life of a dog where worries and cares came down to “am I going for a walk today?” Or, “how about that extra treat?” And “what about my belly rub?”

  She scrubbed her face with her other hand. “Jesus, I’m a mess.” Gazing out at the lake at the few boats on the water enjoying the last week of the boating season, she thought again about her one-sided conversation with Elise. She knew in her heart that what she had with Cloe was special. The more she thought about it, the more pissed off she got—not at Elise. At herself. How could she allow those few words to make her doubt the love and happiness she found with Cloe? How could she treat Cloe so badly?

  “Because you’re a clueless idiot,” she muttered to herself. She struggled to her feet. Fred gazed up at her, his tongue lolling out the side of his mouth. She swore she could see recrimination in those big, brown eyes of his. “I really am a clueless idiot.”

  They started the long trek uphill. Lindsey didn’t know if it was because of her emotional state, but the hike seemed exceptionally hard today. I deserve the pain, she thought, as her thigh muscles strained with each step.

  When they finally reached the cabin and entered the screened-in porch, she noticed a package propped against the door. Fred sniffed it as Lindsey unlocked the door. She reached down to grab the package and flipped it around to look at the return label—Dunham House Publishing. Her heart rate, which had settled down after they reached flat ground, increased once again. It was the preliminary page proof. It didn’t matter how often she received one of these. It always excited her like receiving a long-awaited gift on Christmas morning. Then she was hit with a strong pang of guilt. Cloe should be here to share in the excitement.

  Her phone rang, but Lindsey didn’t hurry to answer, afraid it was Cloe. Lindsey needed to get her shit together before talking to her. . . and apologizing. When she saw it was her brother’s number, she answered the phone.

  “I’ve been calling you all afternoon,” David said, clearly flustered and a tad angry at not being able to reach her.

  “Fred and I took a long hike.”

  “You were supposed to call us this morning,” Gayle said, obviously from the other line.

  Lindsey rubbed her forehead as she felt the stirrings of another headache.

  “Can we talk tomorrow? I think I feel a migraine coming on.”

  “Not until you tell us what Elise said to you.”

  Lindsey relayed the conversation. She held the phone away from her ear when Gayle erupted with a string of obscenities—words that Lindsey didn’t even think Gayle knew.

  “Honey,” David said.

  “No, David. I don’t think I’ve ever been so angry as I am at this moment. Lindsey, we never cared for Elise.”

  “I kind of figured that out.”

  “What you have with Cloe is special. Something lasting. Did you know after you came back inside she confronted Elise?”

  Lindsey’s heart hammered in her chest. “N-no,” she stuttered. She closed her eyes, even more ashamed with her behavior.

  “You two didn’t talk on the way home?” David asked.

  “Well, I might have shut down.” She waited for the explosion and didn’t have to wait long.

  “Lindsey, what the hell?” he practically shouted.

  “I know, I know. I’m a clueless idiot.” She might as well fess up to David and Gayle since she’d already accepted the moniker.

  “Yeah, you are,” David said. “You need to get your shit together and call her.”

  “You do, Lindsey,” Gayle chimed in.

  The headache that had threatened only moments ago landed sharply over her left eye.

  “Look, that migraine just hit. I need to get in a dark room before I throw up.”

  Gayle said gently, “I’m sure we haven’t helped.”

  “No, no, you have. I agree with everything you’re saying. I’m going to take a nap and call Cloe when I get up. Okay?”

  “Okay,” David said. “Take some ibuprofen and lie down. I remember how these hit you before.”

  When Eric had been so sick, Lindsey started experiencing the first of her migraines. She hadn’t had one for over a year.

  “Hey, thanks, you guys. I love you, and I love how much you care.”

  “We love you, too,” Gayle said. “Once you talk with Cloe, call us back, all right?”

  “I will.”

  Lindsey quickly hung up and rushed to the bathroom before she threw up. She heaved a few times then rinsed her mouth out. She grabbed the bottle of ibuprofen and took two with a handful of water. She closed the blinds in her bedroom and gingerly lay down on top of the comforter. Fred trotted in and pressed his nose against the mattress.

  “I’m okay, boy,” she said as she stroked his head. “I need to get rid of this migraine before I call Cloe.”

  He cocked his head at the sound of Cloe’s name.

  “I know you love her. Your mommy was an idiot, but hopefully I can fix it.”

  He plopped his front paws on the mattress and tried to push himself onto the bed. She helped him up. When the room started spinning, she gently laid her head onto the pillow and closed her eyes. She willed her mind to quit racing long enough to sleep.

  * * *

  “So, you called her this morning, and she never called you back.”

  Cloe nodded. She picked up a rock and tossed it into the water. After talking to her mother about what happened last night, she had been encouraged by her to meet with Paige. This after reassuring Cloe that Lindsey just got skittish. She said she was sure it was a shock seeing her ex at the cookout. Having the conversation with Elise was the last straw for Lindsey.

  “She loves you, honey,” her mom had said. “Give her a little time. Trust me.”

  After Cloe called Paige, they drove to their favorite spot. Thankfully, this late in the season, the lake was fairly quiet.

  “And?” Paige nudged her.

  “Mom said to give her a little time.” Cloe shrugged. “That’s what I’m doing.”

  Paige suddenly jumped to her feet. “Oh, no. This isn’t the time to be complacent.” She pointed at Cloe. “Where’s my friend that I used to know when we were kids?”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Remember when I slipped on the ice in third grade, and Robby MacAllister shoved me down when I tried to get up? I finally got to my feet, and he shoved me down again. You marched up to him, this kid who was about a foot taller than you and outweighed you by at least ten pounds, and you yelled, ‘Robby MacAllister, if you push her down one more time, I’m gonna slug you in the stomach!’ He laughed at you. I managed to stand on my feet. He pushed me down again. His smirk was on his face for maybe a second when you punched him hard in the
gut. While he doubled over, coughing, you told him, ‘You don’t mess with my best friend. Remember that, you big bully.’ You grabbed my hand, helped me up off the ice, and walked me home.”

  “Wait. You’re saying I should punch Lindsey in the stomach?”

  “No, silly.” Paige scrunched up her face. “Although punching that she-devil ex of hers in the stomach might not be a bad idea.”

  “My stomach-punching days are over, Paige.” Cloe picked up a smooth stone and skimmed it over the water.

  “Maybe they are, maybe they aren’t. But remember the expression you used after reading that book about Daphne DeMonet and Eleanor Burnett? WWED?”

  “What Would Eleanor Do?”

  “This is a perfect time to whip that expression out, my friend. What would Eleanor do? Sit around and mope about something that happened with her girlfriend? Or would she march over there and force her to listen to what she had to say?”

  Paige had a point. While it was a good point, Cloe still felt giving Lindsey a little more time was the way to go.

  “Come on, Cloe. You love her, and she loves you. The issue is, the bitch planted shit in Lindsey’s head that you need to pry out.” When Cloe didn’t answer right away, Paige said, “I’ll drive you over there—”

  Cloe stopped her before she got even more on a roll. “No.”

  “What do you mean ‘no’?”

  “No, Paige. I’ll give her until tomorrow morning. If she doesn’t call me back, I’ll go over there.”

  Paige opened her mouth like she wanted to argue then stopped. “Promise?”

  “Promise.”

  * * *

  Lindsey drifted down, down, down in the deep water. She struggled against the undertow, thrusting her legs and arms in an effort to reach the surface. She tried to see the light from above, but the murky water allowed only a few streams of sunlight to filter below.

  Her lungs burned as she fought for her life. Yes, the water was her enemy, but time was also working against her. Like an unseen phantom, it stole away each remaining precious second of her life. Finally, she could struggle no longer. She closed her eyes and surrendered to the blackness.

  As she accepted her fate, a flash of brightness penetrated her eyelids. She opened her eyes. Before her, bathed in a circle of light, was her nephew. Eric held out his hand. Lindsey grasped it, amazed at the jolt of warmth. She wanted to speak but didn’t dare open her mouth. He pulled her upward. As they neared the surface, he let go. Panicked, Lindsey stretched for his hand. Eric only smiled and, in a gesture she remembered so well, put his hands together in the shape of a heart. Then he mouthed, “I love you.”

  She reached for him again, her entire being longing for just one more touch. He pointed above her and there, another hand reached out. Lindsey turned away from the hand and searched for Eric. But he was gone. Feeling herself slipping below again, she stretched for the hand above her. Amazing strength pulled her upward. She held on tight as the surface came into view. Yanked out of the water, she found herself on her back on a wooden dock. A vision hovered above her, her light-brown hair falling on her shoulders in golden waves highlighted by the sun. Her hazel eyes swam with so much emotion, what little air Lindsey had breathed in left her body in a puff.

  “Cloe,” Lindsey gasped.

  In a tender gesture, Cloe’s slender fingers brushed Lindsey’s hair off her forehead. She whispered, “Who else would it be?” as she trailed her fingertips down to cup Lindsey’s cheek.

  Lindsey’s eyes fluttered shut, and she leaned into the touch. When she opened them, she was in her bed, the room much darker than when she’d first fallen asleep. Fred stirred beside her and licked her hand. Lindsey absently stroked his head as she checked the glowing numbers of her alarm clock. Two a.m.

  She sat up against the headboard and ran her fingers through her hair. The dream was so real, so vivid, she half expected her hair to be wet. The wetness she did find was on her cheeks. She swiped away her tears. The need to call Cloe hit her hard, and she reached for the phone. Then her shoulders slumped. She couldn’t call her now.

  “But I will first thing in the morning.”

  * * *

  Lindsey woke up to loud knocking. She sat up in bed and glanced at the clock. Seven o’clock. Despite the persistent knocking, she hurried to the bathroom before rushing to the front door. Fred barked and ran ahead of her. She paused at the door and scrubbed her face with her hands in an effort to shake her stupor. At least her migraine was completely gone. She meant to wake up earlier and hadn’t set the alarm, thinking she’d be too keyed up to sleep late. She barely had the door open when Cloe burst inside.

  “Cloe, I was about to—”

  “We need to talk,” Cloe said and immediately started pacing.

  Distracted by seeing Cloe in skinny, tight jeans with rips in both knees, plus a long-sleeved T-shirt that hugged her curves, Lindsey didn’t notice Fred pawing her leg until he barked at her. She held up a finger. “Can you hold on a second? Fred needs to go outside.”

  In answer, Cloe paced even faster.

  Lindsey hurried to open the back door, and Fred was out in a flash. As she reentered the living room, she took time to simply enjoy seeing Cloe again.

  Cloe spun around. “Sit.” She pointed at the couch.

  Wow, Lindsey thought. Who knew Cloe could look so hot when she was angry?

  “I almost drove over yesterday when you didn’t return my call. Why didn’t you call me back?”

  “I—”

  “No matter. I was going to call again this morning, but I thought, screw it. I’m driving over there. Why? Because I love you, damn it.”

  “I love you, t—”

  Cloe stopped suddenly, parked her hands on her hips, and stared at Lindsey. Her hazel eyes flashed to an almost green. “Yeah? Then you need to trust in our love. And Elise? She’s lucky I didn’t knock her into next week.” She waved her hand. “Not that I didn’t think about it, but I’m not a violent person.” She stared up at the ceiling for a moment. “Although there was that time in third grade when I punched Robby MacAllister in the stomach.”

  Lindsey was a little frightened at the feral look that spread over Cloe’s face. Cloe seemed to remember she had more to say.

  “He was bullying Paige. I couldn’t let that happen.”

  “No. I don’t imagine you—”

  “Back to us.” Cloe started pacing again. “I get that what we have might scare you a little. It’s new, right?” Cloe glanced over at her for a second.

  Lindsey nodded. “But that’s not an excuse to—”

  “But that’s not an excuse to shut me out. I think Elise knew just what to say to you to plant that seed of doubt.” Cloe shook her head and muttered, “The bitch.” She looked at Lindsey. “Sorry, but she is.”

  “I’m really seeing that now.”

  “I gave you yesterday, but no more.”

  “Cloe—”

  “I was going to wait until ten before I came over. You know? That kind of magic hour you give people to make sure they’re awake.”

  “Cloe—”

  “But I thought, the hell with it. This is too important to wait.”

  Lindsey stood, gripped Cloe’s shoulders, and stopped her progress on her next pass. “Sweetheart, I’m so sorry with how I reacted after seeing Elise. I’m embarrassed with my behavior.” She cupped Cloe’s face, holding her gaze. “I love you so, so much.”

  Cloe clasped her hands on top of Lindsey’s. “I know you do.” Her eyes welled up with tears. “Please don’t ever doubt my love for you.”

  Lindsey lifted Cloe’s hands to her lips and kissed each palm. She released them and used her thumbs to wipe away Cloe’s tears. “God, Cloe. I hate that I made you cry.”

  Cloe swiped at the wetness on Lindsey’s cheeks. “Mine are joyful tears. I’m hoping yours are, too.”

  Lindsey gave her a tremulous smile. “Yes.” After they stared at each other for a few heartbeats, they leaned forward at the sa
me time and their lips met in a soft kiss. They pressed their foreheads together as they embraced. Lindsey suddenly remembered something. She pulled back and held her hands up. “Wait here.”

  “Okay,” Cloe said with a chuckle when Lindsey rushed down the hall to the bedroom.

  Lindsey returned with the page proof, still sealed in the package. She handed the padded envelope to Cloe.

  Cloe’s eyes widened. “Is this. . .”

  Lindsey grinned and nodded.

  Cloe slid her thumb along the edge to break the seal but stopped.

  “What?” Lindsey asked.

  Cloe tilted her head toward the back door. “I think the star of the book needs to be here for the big reveal.”

  Lindsey clapped her hands. “I agree.” She ran to the back door and held it open.

  Fred made a beeline for Cloe. He jumped up on her legs. Cloe set the envelope on the floor, knelt down, and laughed as he lavished her with licks to her face. “Hey, Fred. Did you miss me that much?” He licked her cheek again. She giggled. “It’s not been that long since I last saw you.” She rose to her feet. “Come over here to the couch.” She grabbed the envelope and sat down on the couch, and Lindsey joined her. Fred jumped up and wiggled his butt so he could settle in between them. Cloe looked at Lindsey. “You don’t mind me opening it?”

  “Not at all. Remember, though, that this is the preliminary page proof. We can make suggestions if we’re not happy with everything.”

  Cloe’s excitement warmed Lindsey. She remembered feeling the same way with each delivery of a page proof. Hell, she still felt it, even more this time because she was sharing it with the woman she loved.

  Cloe broke the seal, reached inside, and slowly slid out the book. She rubbed her fingertips along the slick, hard cover. “Oh, Lindsey. It’s beautiful.” And it was, with its bright green background and white lettering that spelled out “Fred the Dog.” Under Cloe’s drawing of Fred that captured him so perfectly was Lindsey’s name and “Illustrated by Cloe Parsons,” both in a bright red that made the letters stand out even more. With tears streaming down her cheeks, she turned to Lindsey.