by Claire Frost
She was staring into space when she suddenly heard the sound of the front door closing and two hungry children in need of snacks.
‘Muuuum, can I have a biscuit, what’s for lunch?’ Lily sang loudly as they barrelled into the kitchen, stopping briefly by her chair for an arm hug and kiss before making straight for the cupboard.
‘There are grapes in the fruit bowl and you can have one of those flapjacks. Grapes first, Sam, please. It’s quite late, did Dad take you to the park after you left Ollie and Grace’s house?’
‘Yes, but we were hungry and he didn’t bring any snacks so we had to come home,’ Sam replied through a mouthful of flapjack.
Jess gritted her teeth. ‘Okay, well, why don’t you two get your homework done now and then after lunch we can do your reading and then watch a movie together.’
‘We watched Moana yesterday so it’s not movie night again till next Saturday,’ Lily piped up, before Sam gave her a scowl and a shove. ‘Ow, that hurt, Muuuuum!’
‘You’re right, but I thought we could all have a treat. You might even be able to have some popcorn, but only if you’re both very good,’ she replied firmly. They nodded and grinned at each other, their disagreement already forgotten at the thought of Saturday-night treats the evening before school.
* * *
Despite all four of them enjoying their evening snuggled on the sofa in front of How To Train Your Dragon (for the hundredth time), and a taciturn peace being restored between Jess and Tom, the next morning they were all suffering. Tom hadn’t argued when Jess had told him her plans for the evening, but that hadn’t stopped his eyebrows rising at her relaxation of Sunday to Thursday rules, and she knew if he so much as thought the words ‘I told you so’ when she was trying to wrestle two overtired and fractious eight-year-olds into their school uniform at 7.45 a.m., she would likely explode.
‘But I don’t want to go to breakfast club, Mummy,’ whined Lily, her eyes filling with easy tears. ‘I want to have toast and chocolate spread with you.’
‘Well, I’m afraid you can’t this morning and you need to get in the car now as it’s time to go. And you, Sam, come on, where are your shoes?’
‘Dunno,’ he shrugged, patently paying more attention to the football cards he was holding than to his irate mother.
She bit her lip until it hurt and managed not to shout too loudly, which thankfully averted a full-blown meltdown from either children or adult. Eventually, they were both strapped into their seats and Jess breathed a sigh of relief, before realising she’d left her glasses in the house. She considered driving without them, but realising how tired her eyes were already, she swore under her breath and opened the car door. ‘I won’t be a second. Please don’t kill each other in that second, okay?’ she said, giving the twins a hard stare. They barely looked up from their comics and cards so she ran back into the house.
‘Everything all right?’ Tom asked as he poured water into his coffee cup.
‘Yes, everything is absolutely fucking perfect, obviously,’ she spat, locating her glasses and trying not to notice the hurt look on Tom’s face. She hated herself for being so horrible to him, but she couldn’t seem to stop herself. She dropped the twins off and was back home in double-quick time. She couldn’t bear to see Tom give her his disappointed look again, so she sidled upstairs and ran herself that overdue bath. Not that she’d have more than fifteen minutes to soak in it before she needed to be in the summerhouse and getting on with work, but that was better than nothing, she decided.
She was just dozing off in the warm cocoon of bubbles, when she heard a knock and saw Tom’s head peeping round the bathroom door.
‘I’ve brought you tea and flapjacks,’ he said, placing them on the side of the bath. Jess watched him hesitate before he knelt down beside the tub and gently washed her back with the expensive shower gel he’d bought her for Christmas then massaged her shoulders. She leaned back into his touch and closed her eyes.
‘Do you remember when I used to do this, back in the days before the twins,’ he whispered. ‘Back in the days when all we had to worry about was each other.’
‘Mmm, those were the days,’ Jess replied sleepily. ‘Not that I’d ever change us having the twins, obviously.’
‘Of course,’ Tom agreed. ‘But being parents is definitely not easy.’ He paused. ‘Maybe we need to be a bit kinder to ourselves and admit when things are hard and allow ourselves to be imperfect. Like at the moment, for instance.’ He squeezed Jess’s shoulder.
She sighed. ‘I know. You’re right. There’s just so much going on. I’ll try, I promise.’ She turned her face up towards him and kissed him. For that second it was good to feel the familiar softness of his lips and she missed him as soon as she pulled away and looked at his wrist. ‘God, is that the time, I need to get dressed.’
Despite it already being almost nine thirty, the time she and Hannah usually started work, Jess made sure she spent more than her usual two minutes applying her make-up and brushing her hair. She smoothed on a comfy but grown-up-looking maxi dress and even added some silver hoop earrings for good measure.
‘Looking hot, wifey!’ Tom smiled from the bedroom doorway.
‘Thanks,’ she said, brushing her lips to his cheek. ‘I’m sure it will make all the difference with the bank manager. You won’t forget you’re picking up the twins from school today, will you?’
‘Of course not.’ He smiled again, pulling her into a hug. Jess wriggled away and hurried down the stairs, but her steps were lighter than they had been for days.
‘Just the small issue of saving my business from the clutches of the bank to sort now,’ she muttered to herself as she made her way to the summerhouse at the bottom of the garden. Hannah was already at her desk and tapping away on her keyboard.
‘You’re eager this morning!’ Jess said in greeting.
‘Lots to do and I know you have your meeting this afternoon.’ Hannah smiled encouragingly.
Jess nodded grimly. ‘Yep, indeed. Thanks, Han, I appreciate it.’
They worked in companionable silence although Jess couldn’t stop herself from glancing at the time on the top right of her laptop every few minutes. Finally, she gave in, made some coffee and pulled out the emergency packet of biscuits from her drawer. ‘I’ve got an hour before I need to leave for my meeting, Han, so tell me something fun that’s going to cheer me up! How was your weekend?’
‘Well, I’m not sure my weekend was as fun as it could have been, unless you count going on a date with a man you later find out has a girlfriend he “hasn’t quite got round to breaking up with yet”.’
‘Oh, Han,’ Jess replied sympathetically. ‘Well, at least you didn’t sleep with him, I suppose.’ She saw her friend’s expression. ‘Oh, Han!’
‘Yep. But how was I to know a good-looking man on a dating app with his own place and a good job wasn’t already coupled up? Although you’d have thought I would have guessed. All the good ones are clearly taken.’
‘All the good ones are definitely not taken,’ Jess replied swiftly. ‘Oh my god, you didn’t meet him on Save The Date, did you?’ she asked, horrified.
‘No, don’t worry.’
‘Well, why weren’t you on Save The Date instead?’
‘I can’t win, can I?’ Hannah grinned. ‘None of my new matches looked like my type so I tried a different app for once. God, how hard can it be to find a hot, fun yet unattached man to settle down and live happily ever after with? I think I need to find a mad scientist who can clone Tom for me – he seems to be the only decent man around. You two are so happy together after almost twenty years, so he must be doing a whole lot of things right.’
‘Hmm,’ Jess replied non-committally. She hadn’t talked to her best friend about how frustrated her husband was making her feel. It wasn’t that she didn’t think she’d be on her side exactly, more that she wanted to protect her. Hannah had always held up Jess and Tom’s relationship as being the pinnacle of married bliss. It didn’t h
elp that Hannah’s parents’ marriage had been less than happy, and when they were teenagers her friend had confided in her about the arguments and raised voices that provided the soundtrack to her life. Jess knew that now was not the time to start confessing how unsupported and – if she was honest with herself at least – trapped she was feeling at home. ‘I don’t think any man, or in fact woman, is perfect, Han,’ she said instead. ‘Every relationship has its ups and downs and I’m not sure “happily ever after” actually exists. Maybe happily most-of-the-time ever after is a better goal.’
‘G-ma and Gramps were always happy,’ Hannah shot back. ‘And they’d been together fifty years!’
‘I’m sure your grandparents also had their bad days when everything the other did annoyed them,’ grimaced Jess. Seeing her friend still look unconvinced, she hurried the conversation on. ‘Anyway, there must be at least one man on Save The Date that you’d go on a date with? The whole point is that they all want the same as you – to meet The One and settle down. If my app can’t find my amazing best mate a husband then what is even the point of it?’
Hannah laughed, then abruptly stopped, before grinning broadly.
‘Hannah? I know that look. What are you planning?’
‘I just had a brilliant idea…’
‘When you say brilliant, why do I instantly feel nervous?’
‘Because you know I have all the best ideas and you’ll just be annoyed you didn’t have it first! Anyway, drum roll please…’
Jess waited anxiously.
‘You should use Save The Date to find me a husband!’ Hannah sat back and grinned while Jess looked confused.
‘But, Han, isn’t that what we’ve already been doing? You’re signed up to the app and you haven’t met anyone you like. What’s the difference with your idea?’
‘The difference is I wouldn’t be doing the choosing. My happily married-with-children successful best friend would decide for me. Quite frankly, I trust you more than I trust myself at this point.’
‘Ha! And what if I chose wrong? That would be absolutely hilarious. Imagine, I could match you with any of the hundreds of men you’ve already swiped past and there’d be nothing you could do about it. I could set you up with Geeky McGeekface who not only loves Captain America, but also dresses up as him on special occasions – including on his wedding day. Imagine your face when you walked down the aisle and realised you were going to have to marry a man dressed as the worst Avenger. I’m almost tempted to say yes just to make that happen. Almost.’
‘Oh my god, can you imagine?’ Hannah winced. ‘No, I’d have to set some ground rules to stop that from ever happening.’
‘Deal!’ Jess agreed, laughing. ‘I knew you would cheer me up! Although it really is time for me to go and see the bank. I’m not sure I’ll be back before you leave – in fact, you should go home early today, don’t wait around for me to get home. I’ll tell you what the bank said in the morning, don’t worry.’
‘Right you are, chief!’ Hannah saluted, before getting up to give her a hug. ‘Just tell them you have an amazing office manager who has the very best ideas and Save The Date will be fine, I’m sure. But in all seriousness, J, try not to worry and listen to what they say and then let’s take things from there, okay?’
Jess smiled and hugged her friend back, although no amount of positive thinking could get rid of the heavy feeling in the pit of her stomach. She’d been over and over Save The Date’s financials, and there was no getting away from the fact that the business was still in debt and would likely be in debt for a while to come, bar a minor miracle. She just had to hope that it wasn’t a minor miracle the bank was going to tell her she had to produce if they weren’t going to withdraw their loan. She didn’t say any of this to Hannah, however, and instead picked up her carefully curated folder of all the business’s good points and dragged her feet out of the office and towards her car, her nerves jangling as much as the car keys in her hand.
Chapter 4 Hannah
‘So, how did it go?’ Hannah asked the next morning before Jess even had a chance to shut the door and remove the winter coat the freezing weather outside demanded. She shivered as an ice-cold breeze blew around the summerhouse and, not for the first time, she wondered what on earth had possessed her to return to Manchester when she could be feeling the blissful heat of the summer sun in any number of countries far away from the north-west of England. ‘What did the bank say?’ she asked again impatiently when Jess didn’t immediately answer.
‘Shall we have some coffee?’ her friend replied with a small smile. ‘And I brought us a couple of croissants that the kids turned their privileged little noses up at because they’re not the chocolate ones they’re used to.’
‘The twins’ loss is very much our gain,’ Hannah said, eyeing up the pastries hungrily. ‘I know it’s not even ten o’clock, but I’m starving. Seriously, going to the gym should come with a health warning. I always eat double what I normally would after a workout, even one that only lasts twenty-five minutes. Here you go, coffee strong enough to stand your spoon up in, just as you like it. Now, are you going to tell me what happened yesterday afternoon while I scoff a croissant?’
Jess’s smile didn’t reach her eyes and she sipped her coffee slowly before taking the seat opposite Hannah at their little office’s ‘meeting table’ and fiddling with a biro. ‘Okay, so, I don’t want you to worry, but I need to be honest with you about the financials.’
Hannah tried to rearrange her anxious expression into something more business-like and supportive, but in the end settled for taking a huge bite of her croissant and nodding.
Jess produced the folder of paperwork – or ‘plastic wallet of doom’, as Hannah often thought of it – she’d taken along to the bank the previous day and piled the sheets onto the table between them. Hannah felt her eyes start to glaze over at the sight of so many spreadsheets.
‘I’m not going to bore you with lots of facts and figures,’ Jess began, making Hannah immediately feel better. ‘But this is the document I wanted to show you.’ She pulled out a slightly dog-eared sheet from the bottom of the pile and laid it in front of Hannah. ‘This is how many paying users we have, and this is how much money they bring in a year.’
‘But that isn’t much more than my salary!’ Hannah said, looking directly at her. ‘What about your salary?’
Jess shifted uncomfortably in her supposedly comfy chair. ‘Well, I haven’t really been paying myself one for the last twelve months or so.’
Hannah was appalled. ‘So how have you and Tom been paying the mortgage and buying the kids’ school stuff, and all the other bills that seem to go with being an adult? I don’t understand.’
‘Well, I obviously had my redundancy money from my marketing job—’
‘But that was, what, nearly two years ago now? And didn’t you use some of that to set up Save The Date in the first place?’
‘Ye-es, along with a loan from the bank. But Tom’s art business brings in a bit of money too, don’t forget. And we took some equity out of the house, plus we had a few investments.’
‘Right. I don’t know much about these things having never owned a house myself, but I know you said when you bought this place that the mortgage was scarily huge, so it must be even bigger now?’ Hannah looked at her questioningly. ‘And did those investments work out?’
Jess couldn’t meet her eye.
‘Shit, Jess, just how much of your finances are tied up in Save The Date?’
‘A lot,’ she replied quietly, fidgeting with the side of the chair.
‘And if the app doesn’t get more paying users, what happens?’
‘The bank will pull out their loan, the business will fail, I won’t be able to pay you… and we might have to sell the house.’
Hannah looked at her wide-eyed. ‘Fuck.’
‘Yep, that about sums it up.’
‘Does Tom know?’
It was Jess’s turn to look shocked. ‘Of course he kno
ws, it’s not something I’d keep from him!’
‘You kept it from me,’ Hannah shot back. ‘Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. Your finances are none of my business.’
‘Except in this instance they are,’ Jess said sadly. ‘Anyway, Tom’s working as hard as he can, I’m sure. It’s not like he can just churn out paintings every day – and he’d still have to sell them even if he did. Anyway, let’s concentrate on Save The Date. The finance gurus reckon if we can double our paying users within the next six months and then continue to grow them at a steady rate for a further six months, we could start to get ourselves out of this mess.’
‘Well, that doesn’t sound too horrific,’ Hannah said, pulling up her sleeves.
‘Except when you think that it’s taken eighteen months to get to where we are now,’ Jess replied with a sigh.
‘But you didn’t have me on board for that first year, so it doesn’t really count.’ Hannah grinned. ‘Okay, so we need something big that’s going to make a splash and entice a huge amount of people to part with their money very quickly, as well as gain the attention of new users in the long term. Something none of our bigger competitors are doing or would maybe even want to do, as that’s what sets us apart. Something that will mean everyone hears about Save The Date and makes them want to get involved.’ She wrote down bullet points in her notebook as she spoke and then looked at the page in front of her. ‘What else?’
‘You’re right, it needs to be something to do with our USP. What can we do with Save The Date that Tinder or Bumble or any of the others can’t?’
Silence stretched between them as they racked their brains for something, anything, creative that would pull in the punters. Jess tapped her fingers on the table as tumbleweed swirled through her mind, only interrupted by thoughts of whether she’d remembered to defrost the sausages for the twins’ tea and if she’d bought a birthday card for Tom’s brother.
‘You know… there’s always my ide—’ Hannah started before Jess cut her off.