Part of her wanted to run to David and shout the good news. But the other half of her was still heartbroken, for him and herself, over the way he’d left earlier.
As she opened the text messaging app on her phone, there was another knock at the door.
“Are we expecting anyone else?” she asked.
“News travels fast in a small town,” Jill murmured with a shrug, but the others shook their heads.
Sabrina glanced through the peep hole and a jolt swept over her body. Excitement, relief, love, the Neapolitan of emotions.
David stood in the hall, looking nervous, anxious, maybe a little hopeful.
“Who is it?” Layla asked.
Sabrina turned, glancing at her friends as if she’d find answers there. Should she just let him in? Was she ready to hear what he had to say?
“David.”
They all stared at her and then Layla’s brows lifted as if she thought Sabrina needed her head examined.
Maybe she did.
She could text him, as planned. He needed to know what the tests had said. But she needed to know why he’d reacted the way he had. And she needed to know where they stood.
Taking a deep breath, she flicked the lock and pulled the door open halfway, afraid of what he might have to say. The part of her that had been let down so many times over the years was on full alert. Secretly, she was terrified that he would end things, regardless of what the tests said.
Her stomach rolled at the idea, but she stood straight.
He looked like he hadn’t a moment’s peace since he’d dropped her off. There was a small bit of satisfaction in that.
“Hi,” she said to fill the silence.
“I had a son.”
Those four words were like a bucket of ice water over the top of her head. Behind her, she heard the restless shifts of her girlfriends. She opened the door a little wider, so he’d see they weren’t alone. Leaning heavily on the door knob, she stared at him.
Had a son? Past tense?
The pain on his face mirrored the wounds inside her and once again, she felt weak. Almost light headed.
That was big news. News that maybe he should have shared when she’d put her heart and soul on the table weeks ago.
Was this the big secret everyone else knew?
And he waited until now to tell her.
Had he been married?
Would he have ever told her about the fact he’d fathered a child? Or was this some need to know crap?
“Sabrina…let me explain.” His voice was rough, pained, begging.
Suddenly she wasn’t sure she wanted an explanation. The idea that he’d been serious enough with someone else, had fathered a child with someone else, it was just… Everyone had known but her.
Her heart ached, and she felt like she couldn’t catch her breath.
But she’d regret not hearing him out. Once, they’d been so close they hadn’t had any secrets. Over time, emotions and secrets had crept in to drive a wedge.
She didn’t want any more secrets. No more shadows lurking, threatening her heart and peace of mind.
“I think you should come in.” She needed to sit down for this story.
She stepped away from the door, too wound up to be gracious. Layla and the others stood.
“We should go,” Jill said.
“Call you later,” Layla said.
Sabrina nodded. “Thanks for coming you guys. I appreciate it.”
They said hello to David as they left. Jill gave him a hug.
Sabrina settled into the corner of the couch, feeling like she was watching events unfold rather than living them. David folded his tall frame into the other end of the sofa and braced his elbows on his knees.
“I met Vanessa shortly before I made it into the SEALs. A few months later she got pregnant.” He licked his lips. “It was a boy. She wanted to name him Samuel.”
He smiled then, his gaze far off.
So, this was why he'd freaked out. She almost didn't want to hear the rest but knew she needed to. His story was the key to his behavior and it’s where she’d find the answers she needed. All those times when she’d thought there were still shadows in his eyes, she’d know why.
“He was the most beautiful, perfect thing I'd ever seen,” he began. “I remember his face, his sweet little smile, a perfect mop of brown hair with sun streaked highlights.”
David's chest expanded on a deep inhale. She wanted to go to him. To wrap her arms around him, but everything felt so raw. As if she touched him she might break again. She honestly wasn’t sure she could stay composed, so she reached for a blanket and waited.
“I was deployed when I got the call. He'd been playing in the front yard. I'd given him a yellow soccer ball for his fourth birthday. Man, he loved that thing. He used to watch every soccer game we could find. He preferred that over cartoons. Anyway, the ball rolled into the street and he went after it at the exact time our neighbor was backing out of his driveway.”
Sabrina inhaled sharply, feeling his pain as if it were her own.
“I couldn't understand Vanessa when she called me. He'd died on the way to the hospital and I was stuck halfway around the world. She didn’t even wait for me to get home, she’d made up her mind. She-- she killed herself. I--”
When his voice cracked, Sabrina found the courage to move.
Unable to hold back any longer, she crawled across the couch. Kneeling next to him, she wrapped her arms around his broad shoulders. His heat soaked into her and she nestled closer.
That explained everything. His comments to Marissa. His apprehension. The uncharacteristic way he’d walked away earlier.
“My team got me through it. I owe everything to them.”
“I'm so sorry,” she whispered, kissing his shoulder. Words seemed so inadequate.
“When you told me you were late, I reacted terribly. I know that. I'm sorry for flaking on you when you needed me.” He turned his head and kissed her forehead. “It'll never happen again.”
“I know.”
“No. I need to make sure you get—You’re, you’ve always been the most important thing to me.”
Except Samuel and Vanessa.
And popularity. And a new family.
Sabrina closed her eyes and tried to push aside all the old feelings rushing at her. Not good enough. Not thin enough. Not pretty enough or popular enough or rich enough.
She sat back on her heels, letting her palms drop to her thighs.
He turned toward her, his eyes imploring. “It threw me. I thought that I'd come to terms with his loss, but you don't ever come to terms with the loss of your baby. My first instinct was to protect myself from ever feeling that way again. It should have been to make sure you were okay and cared for. I'm sorry Layla needed to bring you ice cream.”
“Apology accepted.”
“But you don’t forgive me.”
“I forgive you, David. And I understand why you reacted that way.” But understanding didn’t ease the ache in her stomach, the nauseous feeling.
Deep down, she recognized his reaction for what it was. Now that she’d heard his story, of not only losing his son, but the woman he loved, she knew why he’d gone over the deep end again. Only a man who’d loved and lost would have so much trouble being in that position again.
He knew exactly what was on the line, better than most.
To have someone you loved that much and to lose them… Sabrina couldn’t imagine how hard it would be to look that situation in the face again and hand over your heart a second time.
“But?” he said.
“I guess I’m coming to terms with some things myself.”
That was a revelation that even ice cream couldn’t fix. All those pains of losing her childhood best friend, the teasing and taunting from the mean girls, losing Ethan, Jakob’s drug abuse, years of battling her weight, her place in life. She’d come so far, she’d thought she was past all of it. And yet, the doubts swirled through her mind.
>
“Sabrina—”
Her vision refocused on him as he shifted toward her.
“I love you, Sabrina.” He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and trailed a thumb down her jaw. “I'm in love with you. I think maybe I always have been. Maybe that's why I never asked Vanessa to marry me. But I spent today feeling lost and off balance and I realized that you are my balance. I've felt more whole with you in the last month than I have maybe ever.”
She knew just what he was talking about, the completeness. The feeling of being home and safe. Even with their future uncertain, she’d felt comfortable with him, able to be herself.
That’s why she’d been so upset earlier, she realized with a profound clarity. She took a deep breath, processing the rapid-fire thoughts. Her anguish hadn’t been because she’d worried about being pregnant, but because she’d been traumatized at the thought of losing David a second time.
And this time it’d be so much worse. Her heart stuttered in her chest. This time around he was both her best friend and her lover. She’d given him her heart and her body.
“I love how genuine you are. I love your enthusiasm. I love how you light up a room and make everyone at ease. I love that we make each other laugh and I love how easy it is to be with you. I want to see you smile and make you laugh and make you happy.”
For a man of few words, he knew how to pick the right ones.
“You know how to make a girl melt.”
“Did I mention I'm sorry for flaking out on you?”
“You did.”
“And that it’ll never happen again?”
“I know,” she said with a smile.
“And that I love you?”
“You might have said something to that effect.”
“And that I'll love our baby?”
Sabrina didn't think she could actually love the man more, but in that moment, she knew she'd follow him to the ends of the earth. She'd support him and love him and slay dragons for him.
“I took a test. Four of them actually.” His brows rose. “I think maybe I'll still go see a doctor just to be sure, but each test said I'm not pregnant.”
“Oh.” His gaze darted from her face down to her belly and back. “Are you okay with that?”
“Yes. Are you?”
After a long moment, he nodded. “Yeah. I am.”
She was still perfectly happy to play the role of aunt Sabrina. That would suit her far better than ‘mom.’
“You’re sure?”
“Absolutely. You’re everything I want.”
Sabrina swooned. He reached for her, pulling her into his lap. His strong arms bracketed around her.
Somehow those words, combined with the utter sincerity in his eyes, washed away any lingering doubts. The past was the past and there was no sense dwelling on it. The future held no guarantees, but she knew that she wanted to be with David for as long as she was granted.
There’d be bumps in the road, but there’d be utter joy too. So much joy.
“I love you. Everything else just feels like details.” She kissed his cheek.
“I like that.” His features softened and the tenderness she saw there made her melt.
They were going to be okay. Just the two of them, surrounded by friends and his family. A smile curled her lips as she thought about the adventures that lay ahead. And the love.
It was all there, shining in his eyes.
Giddiness bloomed inside her, fizzing through her veins like champagne bubbles.
“So, what now?” she asked, trailing her fingertips up the back of his neck.
“Now I take you to bed and make love to you till morning. And then we'll wash, rinse, and repeat until the end of time.”
She laughed, loving the sound of that. Arms tightening around his shoulders, she knew that together the could conquer anything. Now that she knew about Samuel and Vanessa, the last of the shadows were gone.
After all the time they’d spent apart, she was eager to spend the rest of her days right here in his arms.
“Sounds like a deal, SEAL.”
THANK YOU FOR READING!
Thank you for reading Second Chance with Her SEAL. I know you have plenty of choices on how to spend your time and money and I’m so happy you chose to spend it with Boomer and Sabrina.
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Meet Gillian
Gillian Blakely is the contemporary alter ego of New York Times bestselling author Selena Blake. An action movie buff with a penchant for all things supernatural and sexy, she combines her love for adventure, travel and romance into steamy paranormal and contemporary romance. Selena’s books have been called “a steamy escape” and have appeared on bestseller lists, been nominated for awards, and won contests. When she’s not writing you can find her by the pool soaking up some sun, day dreaming about new characters, and watching the cabana boy (aka her muse), Derek. Fan mail keeps her going when the diet soda wears off so write to her at [email protected].
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Stay In Touch
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Also by Gillian Blakely
Series: Girls’ Night Trilogy
(Contemporary Romance Novels)
Ask For It
Go For It
Beg For It
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Spin-off Series: SEALs of Roseville
At Her SEAL’s Command
Toying with Her SEAL
Second Chance with Her SEAL
Second Chance with Her SEAL Page 17