Ten Years a Nomad
Page 19
Driving around the states shattered many of my preconceived notions. America is a diverse nation with significantly divergent political beliefs and cultural traditions from area to area, state to state, and city to city. From the slowness of the South, to the fast pace of the East Coast, to the cowboys of the West, and to the small towns of the Corn Belt, each region has its own unique fingerprint. But day to day, what I discovered is that we essentially live the same lives, share the same hopes, dreams, and stresses. Maya Angelou once said, “Perhaps travel cannot prevent bigotry, but by demonstrating that all peoples cry, laugh, eat, worry, and die, it can introduce the idea that if we try and understand each other, we may even become friends.” Indeed, meeting new people in new towns who lived differently than my East Coast lifestyle, I learned that, in the famous words of Le Monde, we are all Americans. These people were not the stereotypes of my imagination.
And, when I went on another cross-country road trip in 2015, this time with the wisdom of age, I learned those things all over again.
The trips taught me that no matter how many microcultures and differences we have, our common core beliefs and positive outlook make me hopeful our future will be bright. It taught me to appreciate the undervalued concept of home travel.
Travel teaches us a lot about the world. It gives you an understanding of a place that you can only get from firsthand experience. When I hear people talk about a country or a city or a people negatively, I always ask, “Yeah, but have you been there? Have you talked to anyone from there?” As travelers, we know the truth in Maya’s words. We know that travel can break down barriers. We know travel can foster understanding.
Yet we never bother to do in our own backyard what travel does for us out on the road. As I traveled the world, so many travelers told me that I’d seen more of their country than they had. I reminded them they could travel their country, too. They could do what I did. I’d ask them what was stopping them, but I already knew. It was that nagging belief that “home” is a boring place from which all adventure has fled.
When you open your heart to your home, you open your mind to the world. It gives you permission to wonder: What is this land where I’m from? What is this world I live in? Who are these other people that share it with me? How are they like me? How are we all like each other?
And travel, both home and abroad, will give you the answers.
* * *
OVER MY TEN YEARS OF TRAVEL, I became confident in my own skin, made some of my closest friends, figured out who I was, and learned what I wanted. I was a proud nomad. Now it was time to let that go and to move on with my life. The spirit of “Nomadic Matt” will always be with me, but my nomadic days ended when I waved good-bye to Charlotte.
If I learned anything from travel—from all the people and experiences—it’s that life is too big to fit in any box. Travel helps you learn that quickly. It makes you grow faster than you thought possible, putting you in different, uncomfortable situations in foreign lands with different customs.
But it’s a lie to say you can’t take that growth home. That home has to be boring. That home has to be depressing.
The real world can be like travel, if you approach it with the spirit of openness, curiosity, and adventure.
I used to believe adventure was always outside the borders of “home.”
But a place is only as boring as you are. Adventure and activity isn’t something that just happens. It is something that must be sought out.
Whether in the next town, the next country, or the street a few blocks away, finding home—and finding yourself—is about going out and asking questions and seeking answers.
I was ten years a nomad.
Now I am someone rooted in place.
Someone who’s embraced the realization that each day can bring an adventure.
No matter where you are in the world.
NOTE
1 https://www.ustravel.org/research/state-american-vacation-2018
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
A BOOK IS A GROUP EFFORT and I want to thank a lot of people!
First, I want to thank my agent, Byrd Leavell, for helping me shepherd this book from idea to publication. Thank you for believing in and helping me get this book brought into the world.
Second, I’d like to thank my editor, Daniela Rapp, for also believing in this book. Thank you for working with a practical, nuts-and-bolts travel writer as he took his first dip into the world of memoir and literature.
Third, I’d like to also thank Ryan Holiday and Nils Parker for being my Yodas during this process. As someone who had never been through this process before, thank you for providing wisdom and help from proposal to finish.
I’d like to thank Fey, Torre, and Jodi for providing early feedback on the structure and content of the book. Thank you for helping point me in the right direction.
Thank you to all the readers of my website who have made this crazy journey possible and have stuck with me through the years of constant mind changing. Sorry for the whiplash.
Thank you to my team—Erica, Raimee, Chris R, Chris O, Mike, and Candice—for helping me grow my website over the years and dealing with my constant scattered brain nature. Thanks for also keeping the ship afloat while I worked on the book!
Thank you to all the people who I met in my travels who have shaped my life. The memories we share have been some of the best of my life. Thank you for helping me find the true me.
Finally, thank you to my mom, dad, and sister for all the love and support over the years and dealing with my constant wanderlust when all they wanted was for me to stay home. Sorry for all the gray hairs.
APPENDIX
19 Lessons from a Decade of Travel
In this book, I’ve tried to share with you all of the lessons I learned from a decade on the road—a decade as a nomad. But, for your convenience, I’ve also collected them here. To give you some lessons and advice for when you embark on the road. For when you get burned out and need a little inspiration. I know how important it is to travel light, so you have my permission to rip these pages out of the book and take them with you on the road.
1. IT’S NOT THAT HARD.
Every day, people get up, go out the door to travel the world, and survive and thrive. Kids as young as eighteen years old make their way around the world without any problems. All that worrying and fear I had before my first trip was for naught. Once you hit the ground, getting around a place is the same everywhere. Trains, buses, taxis, tours. There’s a universality to travel. This traveling thing was a lot easier than people make it out to be. And you’re not the first person to do it. There is a well-worn trail that makes it easy for first-timers to find their way. If an eighteen-year-old can do it, so can you.
2. YOU LEARN A LOT OF LIFE SKILLS.
People who travel are better adjusted and less socially anxious. Traveling around the world has taught me how to be more social, be adept and more flexible, and, most importantly, understand nonverbal communication a lot better. It has made me more independent, more open, and, overall, just a better person. There’s no reason to be scared that you might not have “it” in you. In truth, no one does. “It” is only learned by experience. You’d be surprised how often you’ll surprise yourself.
3. YOU ARE NEVER ALONE.
It may seem scary just throwing yourself out there and talking to strangers, but we are all strangers in a strange land. At the end of the day, everyone is very friendly. It took me a while to get used to just saying “hello” to strangers, but now it seems like second nature. Your fellow travelers are just like you. They are alone in a strange place and are looking for others to be with. People travel to meet other people, and that means you. You’ll find that when you travel alone, you’ll never really be alone.
4. YOU MEET SOME OF YOUR CLOSEST FRIENDS TRAVELING.
Whether it was in a restaurant in Vietnam, on a boat in Thailand, or walking into a hostel in Prague, when I least expected (or wanted) to meet people was
when I met my best friends—those with whom I’d have the longest-lasting and most fulfilling relationships. And even though you may not see them for years, you still end up at their weddings, Christmas dinners, or family celebrations. Tight bonds are forged in travel—distance and time can’t break them.
5. RELATIONSHIPS COME AND GO ON THE ROAD.
The nature of travel doesn’t always lend itself to long-term romantic relationships. It’s hard to make something last when everyone moves in different directions and holidays end. If you get too attached too often, you’ll have nothing but heartache. Relationships on the road can be special—if you agree to live in the moment and savor the time you’ve been given. Dwelling on the future will only keep you from making that leap.
6. BUT CHASE THE ONES YOU LIKE.
Once in a while, though, you’ll find someone you really connect with. Meaningful romance on the road does happen. And when you have nowhere to be and no place to go other than where you want, sometimes there is no reason not to follow someone you care for. Don’t force yourself to say another good-bye if you don’t have to. Pursue it even if the distance seems too vast and the circumstances not right, because you never know where it could lead or how long it might last. Once in a while, you meet the one—so don’t blow it.
7. IT’S GOOD TO TRY NEW THINGS.
I used to be a very rigid person, but traveling has helped me loosen up and expand my worldview. I’ve pushed myself to the limit, eaten new food, taken cooking classes, learned magic tricks and new languages, tried to conquer my fear of heights (unsuccessfully so far), and challenged my established views. Travel is all about breaking out of your comfort zone and enjoying all the world has to offer. You’ll never know what you like or are capable of if you don’t push your boundaries a bit.
8. BE ADVENTUROUS.
Doing the canyon swing was tough. So was jumping off the boat in the Galápagos. As was eating the maggots in Thailand and caterpillars in Africa. Then I got my butt kicked in Thai boxing. And while I won’t do most of those ever again, I don’t regret trying any of them. Scare yourself once in a while. It makes life less dull. See point #7.
9. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A MISTAKE.
No matter what happens on the road, it’s never a mistake. As a wise person once said, “your choices are half chance, and so are everybody else’s.” When you go with the flow and let the road unfold ahead of you, there’s no reason to have regrets or think you made a mistake. You make the best decisions you can with the information at the time. I may not have ever found romance with Heidi but I don’t regret the choice I made. I did the best I could. And, in the end, learned thatthe journey is the adventure.
10. DON’T BE CHEAP.
When you travel on a budget and need to make your money last, it’s easy to be cheap. But why live like a pauper at home to save for travel so you can skip the food in Italy, the wine in France, or a sushi meal in Japan? While it is good to be frugal, it’s also important to splurge and not miss out on doing once-in-a-lifetime things. Who knows when you will get another chance to dive in Fiji or safari in Africa?! Take every opportunity. You won’t regret it.
11. THAT BEING SAID, DON’T BE WASTEFUL.
But remember you aren’t made of money, so don’t always feel like you need to party with your new friends every night or do every activity in a new place. Sometimes it’s okay just to sit around and relax or cook your own meal. Be frugal, but not cheap. Most of all, be conscious and deliberate about your money—decide what’s worth spending on, and what’s not.
12. DROP THE GUIDEBOOK.
I know guidebooks were an important part of my story (heck, I write them for a living), but the other important part was learning to get beyond them. Don’t be so glued to a book. You can travel fine without it, especially with so many good alternatives on the internet these days. You’ll buy it and hardly use it anyway. Just ask people for tips and information. That will be your best source of information, especially for those off-the-beaten track destinations and hole-in-the-wall restaurants that no one’s ever heard of but serve the best food you can imagine.
13. IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO CHANGE.
Even if you aren’t the traveler or person you want to be in your head, it’s never too late to change. Travel is all about change. The more you say “tomorrow,” the less likely it is that tomorrow will ever come. Traveling has shown me aspects of my personality I wish I didn’t have, and it’s also shown me I’m really lazy. I’ve always lived by the phrase “carpe diem,” but some days I don’t “carpe” much of anything. Every day is a chance for a fresh start and a new you. Don’t let your past define you.
14. RELAX.
Life is amazing. The universe unfolds as it should. Relax and just go with it. You can’t change the future—it hasn’t happened yet. Just make the best decisions you can today and enjoy the moment. Don’t get caught up trying to see all the “must-sees.” There’s nothing wrong with spending a day playing games, reading a book, or lounging by the pool.
15. LEARN MORE LANGUAGES (SERIOUSLY).
There’re some great benefits to not knowing the local language—like miming out “chicken” to let the lady know you want eggs for breakfast—but learning languages is very helpful when you travel, and works out great when you meet other travelers. There’s also nothing like surprising people by speaking their language. Moreover, knowing basic phrases will endear you to locals, who will appreciate the fact you went the extra mile. You’ll find people will be much more helpful, even if you struggle to say hello.
16. WEAR MORE SUNSCREEN.
Seriously. Science has proven it helps, and with all that beach time you may get on your travels, you could always use a little more. Being tan is great. Having skin cancer is not. SPF up.
17. PEOPLE ARE GOOD.
All over the world, I have encountered amazing people who have not only changed my life but have gone out of their way to help me. It’s taught me that the old saying is true: you can always depend on the kindness of strangers. My friend Greg taught me long ago not to be guarded against strangers. That lesson changed everything for me. When you travel with an open heart, unexpected goodness will happen. 99.9999 percent of the people in the world aren’t murders, rapists, or thieves. There’s no reason to assume someone is trying to get over on you. Sometimes people are just trying to be friendly.
18. THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS MUST-SEE.
This is your trip. No one else’s. Everyone’s journey is their own. Do what you want, when you want, and for how long you want. Don’t let anyone tell you that you aren’t a real traveler for skipping the Louvre, avoiding some little town in Peru, or deciding to party in Thailand. This is your journey. You owe no one an explanation.
19. JUST GO.
Above all: find a way to travel as often as you can to all the destinations you dream about. They will change your life. I know they changed mine.
ALSO BY MATTHEW KEPNES
How to Travel the World on $50 a Day
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Matthew Kepnes is the New York Times bestselling author of How to Travel the World on $50 a Day, and runs the award-winning budget travel site NomadicMatt.com. His writings and advice have been featured on CNN, the BBC, and Yahoo!, and in The New York Times, The Guardian, Time, Finance, and countless other publications. He is also a regular speaker at travel trade and consumer shows. When he’s not on the road, he’s usually found in Austin, Texas. You can sign up for email updates here.
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CONTENTS
TITLE PAGE
COPYRIGHT NOTICE
DEDICATION
EPIGRAPH
INTRODUCTION
1. STEPPING OUT THE DOOR
2. TAKING THE LEAP
3. THE PRESSURES OF HOME
4. THE PLANNING
5. THE START
6. FINDING YOUR KINDRED SPIRITS
7. LIFE AS AN EXPAT
8. LOVE ON THE ROAD
9. BURNING OUT, COMING HOME
10. GOING BACK OUT
11. YOU CAN ONLY “RUN AWAY” FOR SO LONG
12. THE LIGHT
13. HOME
NOTE
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
APPENDIX
ALSO BY MATTHEW KEPNES
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
COPYRIGHT
The names and identifying characteristics of some persons described in this book have been changed to protect their privacy.
First published in the United States by St. Martin’s Press, an imprint of St. Martin’s Publishing Group
TEN YEARS A NOMAD. Copyright © 2019 by Matthew Kepnes. All rights reserved. For information, address St. Martin’s Publishing Group, 120 Broadway, New York, NY 10271.