Fashionably Fabulous

by Robyn Peterman

  “Are you serious?” I demanded as I began to glow menacingly.

  He nodded spastically and flipped me off. The others kept shouting lovely names at me. I was clearly very popular with the Dark side of Zanthia.

  Turning away I focused on the lock of The Kev’s cell and said the words. Nothing. I tried again. Nothing.

  My magic was as furious as I was. With a snap of my fingers I bound the guards in iron from head to toe and went back to trying to pry the bars open. Failure was not an option.

  “Three times in a row,” one screamed in agony as the iron fused to his skin. “But you will die for this, bitch Queen. You are a traitor just like your lover. You will all die. The Dark rules Zanthia, not you.”

  “Not gonna die today and as far as who rules this shithole… we’ll just have to wait and see,” I shot back as I refocused on the lock. “Open sesame. Open sesame. Open sesame.”

  The lock fell open and I rushed in. My entire body was a raw live wire and I was terrified to touch The Kev for fear of hurting him even more.

  “What have they done to you?” I whispered as crystal tears fell from my eyes and onto his battered, beautiful face.

  “Gemma?” The Kev said so softly it was barely audible.

  “I’m here, baby. You’re going to be okay.”

  “Want you to leave. Too dangerous. I love you,” he whispered brokenly.

  “Oh, I’m going to leave,” I promised. “But I’m leaving with you.”

  “We have to get the iron off of him,” The Reggie said, squatting down next to me. “Once it’s off, The Bob, The Gus, The Henry and I can heal him.”

  I nodded curtly and moved to the side of the cell farthest from my people. “Stay back,” I warned and set my hands on fire with a blink of my eyes. The blaze this time was bigger and I closed my eyes against the excruciating pain. Counting to thirty, I put out the fire and moved quickly back to The Reggie and The Kev.

  “This is going to hurt him,” I said, pressing my lips together and trying to figure out where to start. The iron was wrapped at his wrists, feet, and neck. It was brutal. I could see his bones. Dried, caked blood covered him. This visual would be seared into my mind forever.

  “It hurts him more for the iron to be against his skin and bones,” The Shelia said, coming to my other side and gently touching her brother. “Burn my hands so I can help. It might be less damaging to him if we remove it all at once.”

  “Burn my hands as well,” The Reggie insisted, holding them out. “He’s bound in three places. There are three of us right here.”

  Breathing in through my nose and slowly out through my mouth I held back my tears. I wanted to collapse and hug these beautiful people, but weakness would have to wait. I was the fucking Fairy Queen.

  “Are you sure? It’s seriously painful. I’m talking close to unbearable.”

  “Positive,” The Reggie said with his hands still outstretched.

  “Ditto,” The Shelia said.

  Without losing another moment, I pulled The Shelia and The Reggie to the far side of the cell. Focusing my magic and saying a few quick prayers, I set my friends’ hands ablaze. The Reggie gritted his teeth and stared at the ceiling of the small dank cell. The Shelia was a bit more vocal.

  “Mother of God in knockoff Prada in a strip club on fucking fire,” she hissed and winced as she watched her hands burn in searing pink flames.

  But as painful as it was, neither moved a muscle. As quickly as it started, the fire was gone. Both The Reggie and The Sheila gulped in deep breaths of air as they tentatively wiggled their fingers.

  “It will still hurt when you touch the iron,” I explained as I moved back to The Kev. “However, it won’t melt the skin from your body.”

  The Shelia nodded and placed herself at her brother’s feet. The Reggie squatted down by The Kev’s wrists and I went to his neck.

  “This will hurt like a motherhumper, baby,” I whispered as I gently pushed the bloody hair from his beautiful forehead. “We have to do it. The Shelia and The Reggie are going to help so it will be fast and furious.”

  “Do it, lover,” he choked out as blood dripped from his mouth. “Do it now.”

  “On three,” I instructed, examining the iron. “It looks like it was welded together where it’s slightly lighter. Can you see that where you are?”

  “I can,” The Reggie confirmed.

  “Yes,” The Shelia replied tightly.

  “Try to pull it apart there first. If that doesn’t work, just fucking get it off of him,” I ground out, feeling my heart beat so loud I was certain everyone could hear it.

  “One. Two. Three.”

  The Kev didn’t make as sound. No one made a sound. Bursts of air coming from our lips as we exerted pressure were the only noises in the cell. Martha and Jane were silent even though the collars hadn’t been replaced.

  The Kev’s eyes rolled back in his head and he passed out as I pulled at the iron that was embedded into his bones.

  “Someone will die for this,” I snarled as I successfully disengaged the deadly metal.

  “Got it,” The Reggie said as he fell back and cradled his raw hands.

  “Done,” The Shelia announced, also holding her hands close to her body.

  “Susu,” I called out. I didn’t need to. She’d been hovering over my head the entire time. “Can you transport The Kev back to the Plaza very carefully?”

  “I can,” she assured me, flitting about The Kev with sparkling tears in her lavender eyes. “I will take him now. Shall I transport everyone?”

  “No. They know Martha and Jane are in the Palace. Leave us, but take The Gus and The Henry with you to protect The Kev.”

  “Will do,” she said.

  I pressed my lips to the side of The Kev’s mouth and whispered my promise to him. “I will avenge you, my love.”

  In a pop of lavender crystals, Susu took her group back to the Plaza. I felt the loss of The Kev acutely, but there was still work to be done before I could hold him in my arms.

  “The Shelia and The Bob, you will escort Martha and Jane back to the hotel through town. It’s less suspicious that way.”

  “The guards said The Kev is set to die at sundown,” The Reggie reminded me with a look of disgust on his handsome face. “How are we going to cover this?”

  “The dungeon is about to cave in. Problem solved,” I said flatly. “However, check the other side for prisoners. If they’re Light, we take them with us. Dark? They stay.”

  “You got style, Dairy Spleen,” Martha said as she reattached her collar. “You are one scary motherhumpin’ freak of nature.”

  “Takes one to recognize one,” I said with a small smile. “Go now with The Shelia and The Bob. We’ll meet you there shortly.”

  As they left, The Reggie went to his knees in front of me. “Yes. I am very aware I’m in danger of an ass ripping for this,” he said as he smiled up at me. “But, old habits die hard and I need to show you my love and respect. You are my Queen.”

  Staring down at him, I sighed and shook my head. “How about a hug? I can deal with a hug. Bowing kind of freaks me out.”

  “I can hug you?” he asked, shocked as he got to his feet.

  I held out my arms to the dummy and grinned. “Yup.”

  Tentatively, he wrapped his arms around me and laid his head on top of mine.

  “This is nice,” The Reggie said, with a chuckle. “I love you, my Queen.”

  “And I you,” I replied, hugging him back. “In a platonic, friendly, brotherly way, dude.”

  “But of course,” The Reggie said with a sweet smile. “Shall we?”

  He held his arm out to me and I took it. We had a little search and rescue to do before the explosive finale of our successful morning. The Reggie had grown on me quickly as had The Henry, The Gus and The Bob. If there were other Fairies like them, I needed to know. I would leave no one behind in this horrid land.

  No one.

  Chapter Thirteen

 
“Is this fucking day over yet?” I asked, bending over and touching my toes to work out the kinks in my back. Now that The Kev was safe, I’d given myself permission to deal with my own aches and pains.

  “Not even close,” The Bob said, sighing in exhaustion.

  “Wait,” I whispered so I wouldn’t wake The Kev. “Are there more than twenty-four hours in a day here?”

  “No, my Queen,” The Henry said, smiling. “But some of them feel longer than others. You should rest.”

  I rolled my eyes and grinned. If anyone needed rest it was The Henry, The Gus, The Bob and The Reggie. They were magical superheroes as far as I was concerned. “I’ll rest when I’m dead which hopefully won’t be any time soon.”

  “From your mouth to God’s ears,” The Reggie muttered.

  In the end I didn’t blow up the dungeon. I wanted to really badly, but I didn’t. It would have drawn far too much attention even if I’d simply made it cave in. There were ten Light Fairies imprisoned on the other side. After freeing them, I sealed off the dungeon with an impenetrable enchantment. No one could get in and no one could get out—except me. The Reggie had been extremely displeased with my decision to leave the Dark guards alive, but I was the freakin’ Fairy Queen—hence the boss of everyone apparently. If I needed answers from the evil bastards, they were still alive to talk. I’d transported all of us back to the Plaza and no one in Zanthia was the wiser… yet.

  The Kev slept soundly in one of the bedroom suites. The Reggie, The Bob, The Gus and The Henry were indeed healers with incredible power. They worked on The Kev for six hours without a break. The intensity of their work left them pale and weak—practically bereft of magic. But their success made me more grateful than I had ever been in my life.

  Staring at the man who made me feel whole laying helpless on the bed, I swiped at the tears rolling down my cheeks. “He looks broken.”

  “The Kev is strong—one of the strongest of our kind,” The Reggie whispered as he led me and the others from the room. “Normally, I would say a Fairy would need weeks or longer to fully regenerate from what was done to The Kev, but I can’t call this one.”

  “Longer than a few weeks?” I asked, alarmed. Staying in Zanthia for weeks had not been my plan, but plans could change.

  “No,” The Reggie replied. “Much shorter. The Kev is very motivated. He tried to stand up several times while we worked. It took all of us to push him back down.”

  I nodded so I didn’t burst into tears.

  “He tried to tell us what happened, but so much damage was done to his throat from the iron, speaking is still a trial for him,” The Bob explained.

  Nodding again, I turned and put my fist through the wall. It hurt like Hell and felt great at the same time.

  “So he can’t tell us what happened or who is responsible?” I asked as the Fairies stepped back from me. I didn’t blame them. I was slightly out of control at the moment.

  “Not in words yet,” The Henry replied, snapping his fingers and repairing the wall. “All we know is that he was imprisoned for being part Demon—which I still don’t quite understand. How it all went down is still a mystery.”

  “That law will be changing very soon,” I snapped. “It’s bullshit and I will never believe I made it. As to how The Kev is part Demon, it was either that or it would have been the end of the world. Period. Not much of a choice there, boys.”

  The men were silent as they stared in shock.

  “And yesssss. I’m aware that Satan is an ass, a cheater and a liar. He can also be a decent man and I’d prefer to have the Underworld as an ally rather than an enemy. Immortality is fucking long. The more friends I have in high places—the longer I get to enjoy it.”

  “You’re staying?” The Henry asked with so much hope in his voice, I felt gut-punched again.

  I stared at the four very good, kind and honorable men in front of me and fought with myself internally. The truth could never come back and bite me in the ass. I hoped.

  “I don’t know yet,” I admitted. “However, I’m not leaving until this shitshow is not such a shitshow.”

  “That could take a while,” The Reggie pointed out, trying to hold back a delighted smile.

  “Yeah,” I said, narrowing my eyes at him. “I’m immortal. I have time.”

  “You can speak with The Kev without using spoken language,” The Henry told me, attempting to hold back his excitement that I might be hanging around a while.

  “There’s another way?” I asked, thinking I should probably keep The Henry close by since I was most likely going to do a lot of structural damage in the next few days or weeks, and he seemed pretty good at wall repair.

  All four Fairies gaped at me in surprise.

  “What?” I asked.

  “You are unaware?” The Reggie inquired, surprised.

  “Of?” I shot back with an eye roll.

  “Of the other ways certain powerful Fairies can speak?” he said.

  Taking a deep breath and pressing my hands to my sides so I didn’t deck all of them, I took a few steps away—more for their safety than mine.

  “Clearly, I’m unaware and if you tell me this is something I need to figure out on my own, there will probably be some more healing that will need to be done—specifically yours. You feel me, dudes?”

  “Umm… yes,” The Reggie said with a chuckle, still keeping his distance. “We feel you, my Queen. Fairies—the most powerful ones—can speak in pictures.”

  “Explain,” I demanded.

  “Similar to a movie,” he continued. “One who has this gift can pull from their memory and retell the story visually so others can see.”

  “Do it. Show me,” I told him.

  All four Fairies shook their heads and smiled.

  “We are not capable of that kind of magic,” The Gus explained. “There is only a small handful that have been given this particular gift. The Kev is one of them.”

  “Who else?” I asked.

  “The Dave,” The Henry said.

  “And you,” The Reggie finished.

  “Of course,” I muttered, held my fist up to the wall and then thought better of it. My hand was still vibrating with pain from the first wall punch. “How do I do it?”

  No one said a word. I could only assume that they didn’t have the answer. Fuck.

  Well, now that I knew I possessed yet another Fairy bell and whistle, I would try and figure it out. However, there were other things that needed to be dealt with first like the ten innocent Light Fairies that we’d rescued from the cells in the Magic Mystery Castle. Our suite was filling up quickly. Thankfully, Mina was doing great. I’d even heard her laugh as my hartwog did tricks and covered her sweet face in wet kisses.

  “Let The Kev sleep,” I said, thinking aloud. “When he wakes up, I’ll try to get him to show me in pictures. Right now, we have an overcrowding issue. Follow me.”

  There were ten Fairies on the floor of the living area on their hands and knees with their foreheads pressed to the ground. As soon as we entered the room, The Gus, The Henry, The Bob and The Reggie joined them. The Shelia bowed as well. Even Martha and Jane dropped to the floor. Only Mina was left standing looking a little confused.

  “Umm… okay guys and gals, this crap is gonna have to stop. It’s weird and makes me want to laugh which I’m pretty sure isn’t your intention.”

  The Shelia raised her head and grinned. “It’s habit, my Queen. Gonna be hard to break it since we’ve done it for thousands of years.”

  “While I see your point,” I acknowledged, “it still makes me itchy. How about we do something other than bow?”

  “Twerk?” Martha suggested and gave a gag-worthy example much to the delight of all her Fairy fans in the suite.

  “Nope. Absolutely not,” I said with a laugh.

  “Military salute?” The Bob proposed.

  “Too formal,” I replied trying to think of something that would work.

  “Applause?” a lovely Light Fairy named
The Jennifer put forward.

  “No,” I told her. “That feels icky too. I might be your Queen but I’m still just a person. I get that you guys want some pomp and circumstance, but it has to be a little more casual. You feel me?”

  “How about jumping jacks?” Mina called out as she cuddled with Lady Gaga.

  “Very fine suggestion,” I told her with a wide grin. “But jumping jacks suck in heels. We need something that everyone can do—something easy.”

  “Like fart?” Jane asked with a grunt of laughter.

  “Dude, you are truly disgusting,” I said with a groan.

  “Thank you. I try,” Jane replied giving me a thumbs up.

  My eyes grew wide and I wondered yet again if the old idiot was truly brilliant or she was just randomly brilliant by accident.

  “That’s it,” I said with a giggle.

  “What’s it?” The Shelia asked, confused.

  I held up my thumb and raised a brow. Little bursts of pink and silver happy magic exploded around me and rained down on my perplexed people. “You will show your respect by giving me the thumb.”

  “Not the middle finger, Scary Ween?” Martha inquired with a smirk.

  “Definitely not the middle finger, wankerhead,” I shot back at her. “I hereby decree the new way to show respect to your Queen is a thumbs up and a smile. Am I clear?”

  Everyone in the room slowly raised their thumb to me and smiled hesitantly. It was all kinds of awesome. I loved it.

  Out with the old… and in with the new.

  The new sheriff was in town and she was making a few new laws—or possibly a shitload of new laws. Zanthia was a hot fucking mess.

  All my people kept their thumbs raised. Of course, some still had slightly bowed heads and a few were in a half knee bend that made it look like they were about to take a dump, but it was a start.

  “Okay, now that we have that taken care of, let’s move on to the next piece of business,” I said, indicating that everyone should take a seat.

  No one took a seat.

  “Umm… we’re not used to sitting when our Queen is standing,” The Reggie said, explaining why all the Fairies in the room had a deer in the headlights expression on their beautiful faces.