Lord of Hearts

by Gillgannon, Mary

Marared shuddered. “’Twas awful. I dreamed you were being stolen away by the fey. Except it wasn’t one of the Fair Folk, but a demon garbed to look like one of them. I tried to help you escape, but I couldn’t get to you.” Another spasm of remembered dread swept through her.

  Gerard stroked her arm. “You should not have been so afraid for me. I would never willingly leave you. The most stunning fey woman in the world couldn’t tempt me.”

  She smiled at him as the terror receded. “The demon queen had enchanted you. You were riding your horse like a sleepwalker, following behind this monstrous being.”

  “Hearthfire would never have gone along with such a thing. And I’m certain horses are immune to fairy spells.”

  “Aye. The fey can’t ensorcel animals. They always know the different between human and sidh.”

  “Sidh? What is that?”

  “What the Irish call the fey. They believe there was once a race of enchanted beings who ruled Ireland and when they were defeated by the first humans, they retreated to beneath the hills. ’Tis very like the legends of the Fair Folk here. So much alike that that it seems there must be some truth to the tales.”

  Gerard shook his head. “I don’t believe in such things. People want to blame evil events on supernatural beings, but I believe humans are responsible for the awful things that happen.”

  “Like Rhys. He was willing to kill me, if he thought my death would further his ends. He didn’t care who suffered.”

  Gerard’s voice was gentle. “He was willing to do anything he could try to free his beloved Cymru from the English. I know a young woman who once looked at things very much the same.”

  Marared met his gaze, hoping he would understand that she had changed. “That woman was a fool. With a child’s view of the world. She has grown up now and understands how complicated things are. There are good people on both sides of any conflict. As well as many who have no say in the direction their lives take either way. To be a true leader means you must consider all your people and what would be best for them. I would love to see Cymru back under Cymric control. But not if it means most of my countrymen would suffer and have harsher lives because of the ceaseless conflict.”

  “Well said, my love.” Gerard smoothed a lock of hair away from her face. “Now I should probably let you rest. You need true, healing rest, devoid of nightmares.”

  She grasped his hand. “I think I should eat first. My stomach is queasy, but some food might settle it.”

  “I’ll fetch you something.”

  She squeezed his fingers tightly. “Hurry back. I can’t go long without the sight of your handsome face. Simply gazing upon you seems to heal me.”

  “Whatever you wish, my love.”

  Gerard slipped his hand from her grasp and left the room. Marared stared after him wonderingly. What a journey she’d been on these past few months. This was the very bedchamber where she had shunned Gerard on their wedding night and made all sorts of silly vows never to acknowledge him as her husband. Now, here she was, feeling absolutely bereft whenever he left her. As if he filled the room with the air and sunshine she needed to live.

  Her stomach growled. She touched it, feeling how flat, almost concave it was. How long had it been since she’d eaten? Another gurgle triggered a second thought. She counted backwards. Nearly six weeks had passed since she’d last had her courses. It was very early, and yet she suspected her nausea wasn’t merely from her head injury.

  She counted forward now, her hand on her belly. Early February meant a babe born around Imbolc, marking the beginning of lambing season. Delightful thoughts of a brown-haired, hazel-eyed babe filled her mind. She had wondered how she could ever feel any happier, and now she knew. There could be nothing more wonderful than having Gerard’s baby.

  *

  It took several days, but the headaches ceased, and Marared’s nausea became manageable if she ate frequently. She felt well enough that her longing for Gerard had changed from a need for comfort to intense desire. But she didn’t know how to broach the matter with him. He was so careful of her, as if she might be injured by the slightest touch. She’d finally convinced him to sleep with her, but it was as chaste as their early nights together at Tangwyl. How did she get him to respond to her as a woman?

  She finally came up with a plan. After getting up and eating in the hall with everyone else, she excused herself. In the bedchamber, she stripped off all her clothes, unbraided her hair, smoothed it over her shoulders, and climbed into the bed.

  Gerard came in a short while later. Seeing her in bed, a frown creased his brow. “Are you well? It’s very early yet.”

  “Is it?” She gave him what she hoped was a provocative look and eased the bedcovers down to bare her shoulders and the tops of her breasts.

  He gazed at her quizzically, until understanding dawned. “Are you certain? I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “I vow if you don’t come here this moment, I will be very hurt. Indeed, I might expire of frustration.”

  He still looked doubtful. She pulled the covers down to her waist and tossed her hair back. She felt bold and wanton. Fearless.

  He let out a breath and moved toward the bed. “Should I undress?”

  She nodded. “But hurry.”

  *

  Gerard had never disrobed so rapidly. He had to sit on the stool to remove his boots and unwrap the lacings holding up his braies. The rest of his clothing he shucked off.

  Weeks of longing for his wife meant his erection was painfully intense. He took a deep breath and reminded himself of all the times he’d dreamed of this moment. In his fantasies, he took his time and savored every breath-taking moment of their lovemaking, leaving no part of her exquisite body unexplored. But how was he to make leisurely love to her when his whole being ached for immediate joining?

  “What’s wrong? Don’t you want me?”

  He let out a sharp bark of laughter. “Want you? Nay the problem is I want you far too badly. I fear I will not last. I don’t want it to be like that.”

  She cocked her head and smiled teasingly. “You once told me there was nothing wrong with anything a man and a woman did in bed together, as long as it pleased both of them.”

  “That’s exactly it. I want to please you, not mount you like some rutting stallion driven mad with lust.”

  She tossed her head like a restless pony. “Mayhaps that’s what this mare wants. Mayhaps she doesn’t want to wait.”

  Gerard almost said that mares were not women and the women he’d known preferred a little finesse. But then he realized this was Marared, wild, impulsive Marared. She was telling him exactly what she desired.

  Even so, he hesitated. She didn’t realize how close he was to losing all control. She was used to the cautious, restrained Gerard, who took no action without careful deliberation.

  But he wasn’t that man anymore, at least not when it came to her. She had taught him the pleasures of giving in to his feelings. Of letting the river of emotion and passion take him wherever it willed. He gave a swift nod and approached the bed.

  Somehow, he still managed to kiss and caress her, even as his body trembled with the strain. To briefly delight in the sweetness of her lips and the pliant, silken magic of her body. But when she rubbed her body against his and moaned into his ear, he could stand no more. He slid his rock-hard shaft into her wet, eager sheath and gave into primal, pounding rhythms. He was a stallion or dog fox, driving into his mate as she keened her pleasure. They were joined, male and female, in the ancient dance of creation.

  Afterward, he felt as if he had ascended to the heavens and then returned to earth as gently and easily as a cloud settling over the mountains. He curled against her and buried his face in the warm, fragrant hollow between her neck and shoulder. Never had he known such peace, such contentment.

  Marared made a slow sound like a purr and stroked his hair. “See, was that not wonderful? Exactly as it should have been?”

  “Aye, it was. For now.”
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br />   She giggled. “There’s more?”

  “Oh, aye. Give me a moment or two and you will see.”

  “You’re a veritable beast, my love.”

  “Only for you, cariad. With everyone else I am the most measured and careful and sane of men.”

  She giggled again and turned to face him. As her breasts brushed his arm, he knew it would not be long until he transformed into her mad, reckless lover once again.

  Epilogue

  Caer Brynfawr, December, 1204

  Gerard guided Hearthfire down the trackway from the castle, with Marared riding pillion in front of him. “’Tis very cold. Are you certain you want to do this?”

  “I’ll be warm enough. I vow, the bigger the babe gets, the warmer I am.” Marared’s cape barely covered her stomach, but her swelling belly wasn’t cold. “But I do feel sorry for Hearthfire, having to carry both of us.”

  “Even now, I’m certain you weigh less than my armor and weapons when I go into battle. The horse manages that well enough.”

  They left the valley and began to climb into the hills, Marared let out a sigh of satisfaction. Her breath immediately turned to frozen mist. “’Tis definitely worth getting up so early to enjoy the dawn. Look how the light has turned everything pink and gold.”

  Gerard halted the horse. As far as the eye could see, everything was coated with frost, which was now tinted rose and apricot in the shimmering dawn light. Marared snuggled back against Gerard’s broad chest. After all the activity of the past few weeks, it was wonderful to share this moment with him, just the two of them.

  The sun rose and the magical hues gradually faded. Gerard urged the horse onward. Echoing her thoughts, he said, “’Tis a relief not to have to worry about politics or meetings.”

  “Or banquets and sleeping arrangements. Without Hilda and Aoife’s help, I would never have managed it. It was challenging enough to host your liege lord and his wife, without also having Llywelyn ap Ioworth and his entourage arrive.”

  “At least Llywelyn didn’t bring his wife, so you didn’t have to worry about hosting an English princess. And you managed it all beautifully.”

  “As I said, I had lots of help. Even Lady Nicola offered advice and assistance. You are right, she is amazing. She looks like the epitome of refinement and elegance, yet she is the most practical and efficient person I’ve ever met. And she is beautiful, of course.”

  “Not as beautiful as you.”

  “That is a matter of opinion.”

  “Mayhaps.”

  She nudged Gerard with her shoulder. “Most men would prefer to be wed to someone like her, rather than a tempestuous and difficult woman like me. You said yourself you would have a preferred a more ordinary wife.”

  “Did I?”

  “Aye. When we were having one of our early spats.”

  “Well, we both said some foolish things back then. I’d never met anyone like you, so I had no idea how to deal with you. And you weren’t used to men like me, so you assumed the worst about everything I said and did.”

  “Well you were a sais, after all.”

  “Nay. I was a filthy sais.” He chuckled.

  She swatted his arm. “Don’t remind me. ’Twould seem Aoife and I were wrong on every count.”

  “I guess now she and Guy are wed, she has discovered that he is also not hung like a fieldmouse.”

  Marared giggled and swatted his arm again.

  “Nor is he a bad dancer. I, on the other hand, have a way to go when it comes to partnering a light-footed sprite like you in a reel or jig.”

  “Sprite? I thought you said I was a fairy queen?”

  “There is some of both in you.” He used his free hand to stroke her cheek.

  “What do you want our child to be like? You or me?”

  “Whatever temperament they have, they will face challenges. If they are bold and passionate like you, they will have to learn to curb their emotions and consider the effect of their words and actions on other people. If they are like me, they will have to learn they cannot control everything in their lives, and the greatest joy sometimes comes from ignoring their thoughts and giving in to their feelings.”

  “You are wise, milord.”

  “It took you many months to decide that.”

  Once again, Marared swatted his arm. Then she shivered. “’Tis colder down here in the valley.”

  “And it will be colder still at the waterfall. Will it be worth it?”

  “I vow, so far the view has been worth freezing over.” She nodded to the scenery before them. As the sun rose, it transformed the silvery white terrain to a glittering realm. Oak and elm branches, gorse bushes and hawthorn bushes sparkled in the brilliant sunshine. Even though the frost was melting rapidly, at this moment they were surrounded by a glittering wonderland.

  They savored the view a few moments, then Gerard urged the horse on again. “What do you think of Llywelyn’s plan?”

  “To try to unite all of Cymru? ’Tis what I’ve always believed we must do. We must stop fighting each other and work together to keep what is left of our country from being swallowed up by the English.”

  “Do you think it will work? Gwenwynwyn has been thwarted, and Rhys is dead.”

  “But there is still Maelgwn ap Rhys in the south to consider. Not to mention other men who think as my cousin did. Look at all of the warriors Rhys was able to convince to support him.”

  “Mostly young men, with no families to consider.”

  “Aye. There will always be those.”

  “Well, I am optimistic. Llywelyn is a shrewd and canny man, and he has powerful men on his side. Like the king and of course, Fawkes. And this day, I am in no mood to be gloomy or grim.”

  They rode on, down into the little glen. As they neared the waterfall, they saw it was frozen, the water turned to white ice, dripping softly as it melted.

  “No water sprites today,” Gerard said.

  “Nor Fair Folk either. They are all safe and warm in their palace under the hills, feasting and making merry.”

  Gerard halted the horse, slid down and helped Marared dismount. He turned to her. “Ah, but they left their queen behind. The enchanting Marared.”

  Marared raised her face to kiss him. At this moment, heavily pregnant and garbed in bulky winter garments, she felt as far from being one of the lithe, carefree Fair Folk as she ever had. But all was well.

  She was more than content to be mortal and to know the only magic she possessed was the love of a wonderful human man.

  About the Author

  I am fascinated by history, as well as Celtic myth and legend. These interests inspire and enrich most of my books, both historical romance and historical fantasy. Raised in the Midwest, I currently live in Wyoming with my husband, four cats and a dog. Besides writing and working (I’m employed in a public library) I enjoy gardening, travel and reading, of course!