Living the Afterlife, a Death and Chronos flash fiction collection

by River Fairchild

Chronos stared at the open expanse, wondering what creature was about to pay a visit.

  He covered his ears in a desperate attempt to stop the rattling going on inside his brain as an image of flames and chrome filled his vision.

  It was Death on a Harley.

  “Greetings, my friend. Do you like my new bike?”

  Chronos took in the leather-clad spectre, complete with black visor on the helmet.

  “Turn that thing off, will you? My teeth are vibrating and I can’t hear a word you’re saying.”

  “Sorry, dude.” Death turned the key after one last gun to the engine. “I said, how do you like my new bike?”

  Chronos cautiously removed his hands, his ears still ringing from the commotion. He smiled at the flames painted on the gas tank. The chopper suited Death.

  “It’s nice, but did you have to drive it into my living room? It might drip oil on the carpet.”

  Death looked down at the green shag that hadn’t been changed since the ‘70s, but decided not to say anything.

  “Hop on. I have a collection to make but I thought I’d swing by and pick you up. It’ll be fun. We’ll take the scenic route there.”

  He tossed a helmet at Chronos. The scythe emblem on the side of it matched the one Death wore. Chronos laughed as he caught it.

  “You never cease to amuse me.” He slipped the helmet on and straddled the back of the bike.

  They wound their way towards the appointed place, Chronos enjoying the wind whipping at his robes. Leaning side to side as they banked into turns at high speed, he settled into the rhythm and took in the scenery.

  Too soon, Death turned the bike toward their objective – the island of Madagascar. He let the wheels touch into the surf, spraying water that soaked Chronos.

  “Did you enjoy the ride?” Death asked after he made his collection.

  “I did, although I can see the advantages of wearing leather.” He wrung more seawater out of his clothes.

  “Good. You haven’t really experienced the complete thrill of the ride yet, my friend. Perhaps you’ll allow me to start the engine for the trip back?” Death dropped his jaw in a laugh.

  “All right. But if I’m deaf by the time we get home you’ll owe me.”

  “No worries.” Death turned the key and the engine roared to life.

  Time for a Change

  The chimes played out a funeral dirge as Death answered his door. Chronos stood on the front step.

  “Why so formal, my friend? Come in. You didn’t have to ring the bell.”

  “The last time I walked in unannounced one of your Furies attacked me, remember?” Chronos shuddered at the memory.

  “Just a slight misunderstanding. I assure you, it won’t happen again. But tell me, what brings you here? I was about to come over to your place.” Death ushered Chronos into the elegant mansion.

  Chronos had to admit that the white marble floor contrasted nicely with the black walls and furniture but it still looked like a mausoleum—not a place of comfort like his own house. He wondered if the guest bed still had the rack of nails and sighed.

  “I need a place to stay while they’re replacing my carpet. Could I spend the night here?”

  “Of course, whatever you need. I can’t believe you’re finally getting rid of that green shag carpet. Decided to update your look, huh?”

  Chronos smiled at the dig to his anachronistic way of life. “I decided it was time for a change. Besides, you’ve lost too many peanuts in it. The vacuum can’t find them all anymore.”

  He spotted a new curio cabinet over on the far wall and walked over to see what items Death was collecting. Expecting shrunken heads or the like, its contents puzzled him.

  “When did you start collecting tuning forks?”

  “Do you like them?” Death opened the glass door and brought one out. “I’ve noticed that mortals collect those little spoons when they travel so I thought I’d collect forks instead.”

  “But these aren’t eating forks.”

  “No, these are even better – they make sounds. I can use them to tune my motorcycle too.”

  A Fury flew through the room just then, diverting Chronos’ attention. The beautiful woman flexed her claws in his direction before disappearing upstairs, her laughter skittering down his spine and shriveling parts below.

  “Uh, they won’t be in my bedroom, will they?”

  “I can have them stay away, if you’d like.” Death tossed a peanut in the air and caught it in his eye socket. “But tell me more about your redecorating. Are you putting down wood or tile?”

  “Neither,” Chronos said, a pleased smile on his face. “I’m going with a gold shag carpet this time.”

  A Night of Splendor

  The night of the Goddess Ball found a reluctant Chronos, resplendent in his tux, following Death into the ballroom to mingle with their peers in the cosmos.

  “Why are you squirming so, my friend?” Death said. “Didn’t you take the time to have your tux fitted properly?”

  “It fits fine, I guess. I just don’t like these soirees. They seem pointless.”

  Death’s jaw dropped down in a chuckle. “Of course they are, but let’s make the most of it, shall we?”

  As soon as they had drinks in hand one of the minor goddesses rushed up to them, her light hair fluttering behind her.

  “Thanatos, I’ve been dying to meet you.”

  “No need to be formal, my dear. My friends just call me Death.”

  Chronos hid a smile behind his drink. Death didn’t like his name, said it had too many syllables for his easy-going personality.

  His hand clutched the glass tighter as he spotted her descending the marble steps and glide into the ballroom. Midnight hair swirled about a gown made of starlight.

  Nyx.

  Chronos couldn’t catch his breath; his knees turned to jelly. Death slapped him on the back, breaking his trance.

  “Breathe, my friend. Just whistle if you need me.” He laughed and walked away with the blonde, leaving Chronos to sway like a mesmerized cobra.

  Nyx locked her fathomless eyes on Chronos, a smile gracing her pouty lips as she glided over to stand next to him.

  “It’s been awhile since you’ve come to visit me.”

  The lilt in her voice vibrated through him. He stammered as he tried to reply.

  “I-I’ve been terribly busy. Not enough hours in the day lately. You’re looking b-beautiful.”

  “I’ll expect a visit soon.”

  She blew him a kiss and walked away, leaving a scent of night jasmine to trail behind her. Chronos slid his arm across his damp forehead, snagging the small hourglass cufflink in his hair as he did so.

  Death strode back over, tossing peanuts into his eye sockets as he walked. One landed in a champagne glass being carried on a tray. The butler sniffed at the faux pas and handed the offensive glass over before continuing on. Death shrugged as he took it.

  “I guess since he’s already dead he thinks I can’t do him any harm. It’s a good thing I’m so easygoing. But what about you? How’d your chat with Nyx go?”

  “Pretty well. She moved on to mingle with the other guests. Where’s your new friend?”

  “That silly little thing? She’s way too young for me. Besides, she’s allergic to peanuts. It would never work out.”

  Chronos nudged Death in the ribs. “Look who just arrived.”

  They watched the altercation at the top of the staircase with interest, wondering if the doorman would burst into flames.

  “Lucien must be in a good mood tonight,” Chronos murmured as they watched Evil knock the man down the steps without incinerating him.

  “Greetings, Evil.” Death waved him over and grabbed a drink for him.

  “Some of the hired help here are rather stuffy, aren’t they?” Lucien downed his drink in one swallow and waved for another. “He had the audacity to inform me that I wasn’t welcome.”

  Death shook his skull and tossed another peanut. “The ner
ve. But enough about bad manners—you’re looking great in that red cummerbund. The color suits you.”

  “Thank you. May I say that…”

  Death and Chronos both looked in the direction that Lucien was staring, wondering why he’d gone still as a statue. Lachesis stood by the buffet table, her golden gown a rival to the sun itself.

  “Excuse me, gentlemen.” Lucien absently handed his drink over to a bemused Chronos. “I see someone I need to talk to.”

  They watched the moth approach the flame in amusement.

  “I didn’t realize that Lucien had a thing for Lachesis,” Chronos whispered.

  “Oh, he’s talked about her for months now…ever since she threw potato salad at him during the spring picnic. I guess he likes a challenge.”

  The ensuing melee around the appetizers had diners scattering as Lachesis flung the shrimp bowl at Lucien. He wandered back, dabbing cocktail sauce off his shirt.

  “What did you say to her?” Death asked.

  “I only had a chance to say hello.”

  “I suppose that was enough.” Chronos grinned at him. “You have a shrimp in your pants.”

  “What? Oh…” Evil looked down and pulled the offensive morsel out of his waistband.

  “Here comes trouble,” Death murmured. “Did either one of you change a mortal’s fate lately?”

  Chronos spun to see what Death was talking about, just in time to see Atropos bearing down on them. Ares nodded in their direction and surged in front of her to run interference for the three of them while they melted out the back door.

  “That was close.” Lucien gave a little shudder.

  Chronos mopped his forehead again. He’d have to get the tux dry cleaned after only wearing it for an hour.

  Death linked arms with them. “Since we’re all dressed up, how ‘bout we go