by Lisa Doughty
“Well that is his loss, I dare say.”
He smiled at her, and she smiled back. Her heart lifted. Her father may not want to spend time with her, but Rob did. That felt good.
“At least you can tell they the truth about me.” She looked at her hands.
“I would never do that! Let them think what they wish. I would never tell anyone what we say to each other.”
“Then I will not either.” She gave him a sincere smile.
“Are you ready to go for a ride?”
“What?” she said, slightly panicked.
“I will hold the reins, and we will walk around the front of the stable, alright? You hold on the pommel. This thing right here.” He tapped on it with his hand. Cordelia put her hands around it. “Now hold on.”
He took the reins and led them from the barn. Cordelia started to giggle as the horse rocked her around in the saddle. Rob smiled at the sound.
“This is fun!”
Chapter 4
Three Years Later
* * *
“Cordi slow down!”
Cordelia heard panic in Rob’s voice, but she spurred her gray on nonetheless. She felt free with wind at whipping her face and hair. These moments meant everything to her. The Abbey was quickly shrinking behind her. There would be hell to pay with Mother Superior again. She had passed her boundary line and was once again out of view of the Abbey and her chaperone. There would be floors to scrub because of her audacity. But she didn’t care. It was worth it just to have this feeling for a little while longer.
She jumped a hedge and dashed toward some trees in the distance. Rob called after her, trying to catch her on his gelding. Now he was angry. She sighed and slowed her mare.
“Easy girl, that’s all we are going to get away with today,” she cooed. “Let’s get you a drink before we go back.”
They cantered to a stream that ran through the trees. Cordelia hopped off and let her mare walk over for a drink. Rob came galloping in, an angry look on his face.
“Are you determined to kill yourself, Cordi?” he hissed as he jumped off his horse without waiting for it to stop. He was to her in a shot, looking for injuries. “Did you fall?”
“Of course not! I had the best riding instructor in the world remember?” She batted his hands away. “Rob, I am fine! Cease!”
He pulled her to him, and she could feel his heart thumping against her chest. She put her hand on his cheek.
“Rob, I am fine, see?” she said gently.
“Cordi, I…”
His mouth was on hers before she knew his intent. She stiffened with surprise. What was he doing? She pushed at his shoulders. When she started to struggle, he let her go, and she stepped back, putting the back of her hand over her mouth.
“Marry me, Cordi, I love you.”
“What? Rob, you know that’s impossible. Besides…”
“You do not think of me that way, right?” He finished the sentence for her.
“Do not dare to try to make me feel guilty, Rob! You were kissing Lady Mary just yesterday afternoon! Did you tell her that you love her, too?”
“I only kiss them because they want me to!” he retorted. “And, they kiss me back!”
Cordelia immediately felt guilty. Rob looked hurt and vulnerable. They had spent so much time together over the past three years. He was always there for her for whatever she needed. Whether it be a shoulder to cry on or an ear to bend, he had been there for her.
“Rob, my father would never agree to the match. You know that.”
“We could run away. We could…”
“Rob, please stop, why are you doing this?”
She stormed over to her horse and grabbed the reins. Rob followed her and lifted her into the saddle. She looked down at him. He had grown into a handsome man. He was tall with muscular shoulders that any woman would die to lay her head on. They also would be eager to run away with him. What was wrong with her? Why didn’t she feel something more for him?
“I am sorry Rob, I truly am. You have been such a good friend to me, and I wish…”
“I know,” he said softly. His hands slowly left her waist, and he turned to go to his horse.
Cordi could see that he was heartbroken. Guilt washed over her once again. She never meant for this to happen. As encouraging as Cordelia was that he be with other girls, deep down she knew that his heart was not into it. He looked at her with such longing, it was clear that he wished she would return his sentiments. But the feeling was just not there. No matter how hard she tried to conjure it, or reached for it, it never came.
Cordelia was relieved when he found companionship with the others. He deserved to be happy and get the fulfillment she was not able to give him. Still, her heart was cracking. It was devastating to watch his dropped shoulders and defeated expression as they rode back in silence. The thought that she had hurt him did not set well at all. She wished she knew how to make amends.
Cordelia knew they were in a lot of trouble when they saw Mother Superior waiting for them outside the stable. This was a first, for her to be waiting in person was not a good omen. Usually, she called Cordelia into her office to issue her reprimands. Her heart leaped into her throat. Would Rob be fired for this? Oh God, she could not be the cause of two of his heartbreaks in one day! Please Lord, say it is not so!
“Mother Superior this is all my fault, I…” she rushed, to take the blame. Mother Superior closed her eyes and held up her hand.
“Go to Sister Lynnette, young lady, now!” She pointed to the Abbey. “And you,” she looked at Rab, “Report to my office once you’ve seen to the horses. Is that clear?”
“Yes, sister,” Rob answered contritely.
Cordelia looked at Rob, but he turned away. Her heart plummeted. He took her horse’s reins and started toward the stable. His broad shoulders slumped as he walked away. Guilt washed over her again. This time, he would probably lose his job. She ran to the house before the tears came. Oh god, this was all her fault!
When she entered her sleeping chamber, Sister Lynnette was waiting for her. A brand-new dress hung from her wardrobe. Cordelia’s heart jumped into her throat. This could only mean one thing.
“Sister?”
“Come, dear. We must get you ready. Your father will be here any moment. We got word an hour ago, but you were gone riding.”
“Why is he here?”
“I do not know, dear. Mother Superior does not tell me anything. She knows I have a weakness for you and will tell you all.”
“I have a bad feeling about this.”
“You must trust in the lord, Cordelia. He knows what’s best for you. Rely on your training and all will be well.”
All will be well. All will be well. Cordelia wished she had a shilling for every time Sister Lynette said that! It was no longer comforting, in fact it was the furthest from it! She knew that any day her father might return. Why was her life in the hands of someone who did not know her or care for her? Why had God done this to her? She sighed and sat on the stool next to her table and Sister Lynnette started brushing her hair.
“Sister, I did a horrible thing,” she confessed, gulping back tears. “I rode past the boundary again today. I knew the consequences but did it anyway. But, now Rob may be in trouble, too. He tried to stop me, truly he did! Can you please talk with Mother Superior and explain? I could not bear it if he lost his job because of me.” A few tears escaped, and Sister Lynette patted her shoulder.
“Mother Superior is as wise as she is stern, Cordelia. She will not fire the boy because of your actions,” she consoled.
“She may not realize that I did it or may have lost her patience this time. Promise me you will talk to her and tell her it was my fault, not his. Please, please promise me,” Cordelia begged.
“I will dear, not to worry. All will be well. Now we must prepare you for your visit. You must compose yourself before your father arrives.”
Cordelia tried her best to believe Sister Lynette’s w
ords, but she couldn’t shake the feeling of impending doom. She wanted to get this visit, or more likely inspection, over and done with so she could see Rob to make things right if possible. Twenty minutes later she was summoned downstairs.
“Promise me you will talk to Mother Superior about Rob. He did not do anything but try to stop me from breaking the rules.”
“I will try, dear,” Sister Lynette promised. With a nod in her direction, Cordelia left to see what was in store for her.
Her father was conversing with Mother Superior with his back to Cordelia when she entered. The Mother nodded to Cordelia when she saw her, giving her permission to approach. When the earl turned toward Cordelia, she gulped. He looked even more imposing than she remembered. She clasped her hands so he could not see them shake.
His eyes widened as she came closer, followed by a crooked smile that could only be equal to greed. It was quite evident that he was pleased with what he saw. His eyes roamed over her body. When she stopped in front of him, he put his fingers under her chin and raised it for inspection, then pushed her head side to side. She curtsied once he dropped his hand.
“Hello Father, it is a pleasure to see you.”
“Smile,” he commanded.
She looked at him from under her lashes and smiled demurely, as a proper lady should.
“Wider. I desire to see your teeth.” She obeyed, giving him the big toothy smile he desired. “You are your mother, only better.” He turned to the Mother Superior. “Most excellent, sister.” She nodded and grinned snidely.
“Come, dear, stand over here.”
Mother Superior steered her to a wall made of filigreed ornamental air bricks. Once there, she turned her in a circle ending with her facing the small openings. Cordelia saw someone standing behind the wall and squinted, trying to focus on the person. It was a gentleman. She saw his white cravat and the shine on his boots through the small holes. He backed away in the shadows when she leaned forward to get a better look.
“That’s enough,” Mother Superior chastised, and took her back to her father.
“I will send word,” her father stated, then turned and left without a backward glance.
Chapter 5
Rob walked the two horses into the stable. How much more torture could his heart take? But, somehow he could not bring himself to leave the Abbey. At least there he could see her daily, watch as she stroked her mare and dream that one day it would be him. As it was, when he entertained the other girls, he closed his eyes and fantasized it was her. They certainly threw themselves at him. Sneaking into his room all hours of the night or the stable during the day. Most he turned away, but Lady Mary and that tongue of hers he could not ignore.
Try as he might to forget Cordelia, he could not. Even as Mary sucked his cock so far into her mouth that he could feel her tonsils on the tip, he could not get the raven-haired, blue eyed beauty from his thoughts. Those light blue eyes, such a stark contrast to her long dark lashes, pierced a man’s soul. Those full ruby lips set in that pale ivory skin were so sensual and alluring that he could hardly concentrate on anything else when she was near. Beauty was not the only thing to be admired in Cordelia. No, she was bold and adventurous as well. She always pushed the boundaries in everything. And, when she smiled with pride at her accomplishments, he could hardly contain his beating heart. How could he make himself forget her?
Rob threw the bridle against the wall. He could no longer endure this pain! It was time for him to go. He had been offered a position at Moreland Estates. Lord Moreland, a distant cousin of his father, had the most impressive stables he had ever seen. He had been summoned there to help with a rare and difficult occasion when a horse was foaling two colts. After several hours, he had managed to save all three animals, and was offered a position directly from Viscount Moreland himself.
At the time, he could not bear the thought of leaving Cordelia. He was still holding out hope that she was developing feelings for him. He could see now that it was impossible. She would never look at him as anyone other than the stable boy hired to teach her to ride, he thought angrily. That was not true. She was a good friend. But with no means to offer her other than the salary at Moreland, what did he expect? It was time for him to end this torture. He finally accepted that there was no hope for a future with her.
Once finished with the horses, he made his way to Mother Superior’s office. The door was open a few inches and Rob could see Mother Superior sitting at her desk writing. He hesitated. Once he said the words, there would be no going back. Rob knocked softly.
“Enter young man.”
“Mother Superior.” He bowed once he entered. She did not rise, only clasped her hands in front of her on the desk.
“I have repeatedly told you not to let…” she started her reprimand, but Rob could not take the anticipation. He had to say the words before he changed his mind.
“I have accepted a position elsewhere, Mother Superior. I pray the next stable hand can do a better job than I at keeping the lady within her boundaries,” he rushed to say, then sighed with relief. It was over. He waited for Mother Superior’s reaction.
“Is that so?” She regarded him closely. “It is the best in the end, son. She could never be yours.”
“That I know well, sister. If there is nothing else…” He needed to leave, he had to go right now, before he gave in and begged for his job back.
“Go with God, son. I will pray for you.”
“Thank you, sister, I can use all the help I can get.” He bowed and left Mother Superior’s office for the last time. Rob rode out of Fountain Abbey a short twenty minutes later. He did not look back.
* * *
Two weeks later, a letter arrived from Cordelia’s father. He had selected a husband for her. It was The Earl of Middleton Park. They had been married by contract the week after her father had visited. The other girls were green with envy that she was married to an Earl. Cordelia wished she could have at least met the gentleman first. Now, she was to leave directly to join her new husband.
When the Earl of Middleton’s carriage came to fetch her, apprehension about the arrangement grew. The Earl was not there to escort her to her new home. Instead, he had sent a lady’s maid named Ruby, to chaperone her to Middleton Park. The mature maid’s staunch attitude, and quick temper reminded her of the sisters at the Abbey. After a stop in London to be fitted for her trousseau, she was off to Middleton Park. The trepidation of meeting her new husband was outweighed by the angst of what her new life would be.
Butterflies took flight in her belly at the thought of marriage and leaving the strict confines of the Abbey, the only life that she had ever known. She had built up a fantasy future for herself, just as all the girls had. Her husband was to be tall, dark and handsome. They would live on a grand estate surrounded by servants and host lavish parties with the crème of society. Finally, her dreams were to come true, just like the girls who had left before her. It was finally her turn.
The carriage rolled up to Middleton Park where she was greeted as Lady Cordelia Cromwell, the tenth Countess of Middleton Park by a reception of the entire staff, including a smiling young lady’s maid at the end of the line. She was relieved that someone other than Ruby had been assigned to the task as she didn’t much care for the older woman who pulled her hair roughly as she brushed it.
“I am Rupert, your ladyship. The head butler. The Earl awaits you in the front parlor. Please follow me.”
She followed the stoic butler through the foyer and gasped at tall stained glass doors at the far end.
“They are beautiful!” she exclaimed. “Where do they lead?”
“To the courtyard garden, my lady, but I’m afraid it's died from neglect since the former countess passed,” he informed her.
Cordelia made a mental note to investigate it later. Besides riding, gardening was her only other passion. A courtyard garden sounded heavenly! She was pleased with the prospect of the project. The thought flew from her mind as they a
pproached the parlor doors. Her heart leapt into her throat as Rupert reached for the double doors to the parlor where her new husband was waiting. She took a deep breath and stepped inside.
“Lady Cordelia Middleton, my lord.” Rupert announced formally.
Cordelia looked around. To her surprise, the room was sparsely furnished and the furniture that graced it was visibly worn. It also was unkempt and dusty which surprised her, since there had seemed to be an adequate amount of staff in the reception line for any task. Sitting on the settee in a beautiful dress in current fashion was a woman at least five years her senior. She was as beautiful as her gown, and her blonde hair was fashioned a perfect coif. She stood and faced her when the butler announced her, then smiled warmly.
A gentleman, with his back to her, stood next to the fireplace. He didn’t turn when her name was announced. Instead, he stared at the flames and spun a glass half full of amber liquid on the mantel.
“Greetings wife,” he said snidely. “The tenth Countess of Middleton Park.” He sounded angry.
He turned to face her, and she sucked in her breath. He was old enough to be her grandfather! His eyes were dark and angry as they roamed over her. Cordelia felt as though she was about to be punished. Tearing her gaze away from him, she dropped into a curtsy.
“Pleasure to meet you, my lord husband,” she said meekly. When she rose, her knees were shaking. Dread engulfed her. What had her father done to her?
“You look displeased with your new husband, my lady wife,” he stated sardonically.
She straightened her spine and looked directly at him. He wore a smirk, apparently enjoying her discomfort. He approached and circled her, reminding her of her father.