Valkyrie

by Raythe Reign

  “And if you are wrong? How many more will have to suffer and die before you take a chance and trust Thor to help you and us?” Liam demanded.

  “I wish I could believe as you. But I cannot.” Loki lifted his head and was smiling, but it was the smile of dismissal. Cameron recognized it. “The Allfather knows my terms. You need not concern yourselves with being messengers any longer. You have done your best, but it is not you who can change this.”

  Liam opened his mouth to say more, but Cameron placed a warning hand on his arm. Their eyes met and Liam closed his mouth, silent.

  “Hey, let’s go get the groceries out of your saddlebags before they melt,” Cameron suggested and he saw some of the stiffness leave Loki’s shoulders. There would be no more confrontation. His last words would be the last ones said on this subject.

  For now.

  Cameron knew he could work on Loki later when the Aesir didn’t have his back up. Maybe it was because Liam reminded him so much of Thor that his emotions — normally so oblique — were at the surface and motivating him more than they usually did. Whatever the reason, Cameron knew that he could get Loki to talk.

  “I’m going to carry you upstairs,” Liam said grimly as if he expected a fight. “And then I will go get the groceries. You will remain where I leave you.”

  Cameron let out a laugh and raised his eyebrows. “Whoa, someone is feeling bossy!”

  “There will be one person who does what is best for them today,” his brother answered tightly.

  “I’ll stay where you leave me because I love you, not because you tell me to,” Cameron said gently. Loki wasn’t the only one here that was acting on their base emotions evidently.

  His brother’s blue eyes flickered down to him and there was a mute apology in them. Liam was really rarely bossy, but when he was it was only because he cared and felt that things were spinning out of his control to keep those he loved safe. Cameron felt a welling of warmth in his stomach. His Liam. Some people might have found it hard to be in the shadow of a heroic older brother, but he never had. He was so proud and so glad to be protected by such fierce and loyal strength.

  Without another word, Liam tenderly lifted Cameron up into his arms and carried him towards the stairwell’s door. The door opened automatically for them and Cameron let out a gasped laugh. He looked over at Loki.

  “Magic?” he asked.

  The Aesir shrugged, but was smiling.

  Liam let out a sigh of forbearance and carried Cameron up the stairs to his apartment, seeing Loki’s abilities as a burden since they were not used against the Gash.

  “Hey, we may not have Thor and Odin, but we do have Loki here,” Cameron told Liam.

  “He hasn’t helped so far. What makes you think he’ll use his magic now?” Liam was still frowning.

  “Because he’s here now. He’s not hiding himself. I’ve got to believe that Loki’s had reasons not to get involved in all of this directly before, but I feel it's different now,” Cameron said.

  “We shall see, I suppose.”

  It was only when Cameron’s art projects of the night before came into view that Cameron remembered them at all. His brother nearly stumbled when he saw the sculpture and the painting. There was a hitch in his breathing as he carried Cameron further into the apartment and they could both see more of them. Cameron winced. He really wished he had covered them up with a sheet. It wasn’t that they were bad, but there was something too raw about them. They looked like grief immortalized in clay and paint.

  “You did these last night after I left?” Liam asked though it was more of a statement.

  “Yeah, I … I had to get the emotions out,” Cameron admitted and tried to make his voice sound uninterested even as he itched to get down from Liam’s arms and cover the damned things. He didn’t want Liam to see the wounds in his soul. Liam carried him over to the pieces and they both looked at them. Or rather Liam stared and Cameron looked the other way. He focused on Liam’s leather jacket, which was neatly laying over the back of the couch.

  “The sculpture is of Asgard,” Liam said.

  “Is it? Oh, well … maybe some kind of hereditary memory or something,” Cameron answered uneasily.

  “I did this to you,” Liam suddenly breathed.

  Cameron snapped his head back to look at the side of his brother’s head. Liam’s lips were in a tight white line and the muscles in his jaw were clenching and releasing and clenching again as he continued to stare at the artwork.

  “You did nothing to me, Liam. Just when you left I thought I was going a little bit crazy so I … I had to get it out. Do you understand? I had to get it out,” Cameron tried to explain the unexplainable.

  “I caused those emotions when I went away,” Liam stated flatly, ignoring Cameron’s words of forgiveness. “I should never have left you. Not when I died. Not last night. Never.”

  Cameron’s throat chose that moment to close up as emotions tightened around his neck like a vise. He needed to recover himself to tell Liam that it was all right. He was back now! But he was in Liam’s arms and there was no where he could hide himself from his older brother. His brother was suddenly holding him tighter against him.

  “I’m so sorry, Cam. I won’t leave you again,” Liam breathed against his neck.

  Cameron’s body jerked a few times as sobs wanted to erupt from him, but he bit them back and swallowed them down. Instead he just clutched at Liam and drew in a deep breath, forcing his throat muscles to relax and grant him back the ability to talk once more.

  “I can’t be without you, Liam. I’m not even half a person with you gone,” Cameron confessed in a whispery voice. “I’ve got too much of Loki’s blood in me, I think. I need you to keep me anchored. To keep me in the light.”

  Another fierce squeeze. “I promise I will.”

  Cameron wasn’t sure how long they remained curled tightly around one another, but he was the one to pull back first. He needed to recover and be the bright Cameron, not the dark one. He wanted to be that for Liam.

  “Set me down, Liam, and go get the groceries. After all that talk of Harlan’s, I’m starving,” Cameron ordered with a pat on Liam’s bulging left bicep.

  “I’m going to put you on the couch with a blanket,” Liam murmured. His brother’s eyelashes were wet with tears. Liam never cried. Cameron gently brushed the drops away and Liam gave him a grateful smile. “Before I saw you again Nafari said I hadn’t embraced my immortal life. You aren’t the only one who isn’t himself when we’re not together.”

  Cameron opened his mouth to speak but he really wasn’t sure what to say. Instead, he silently allowed Liam to set him on the couch and pull the lone blanket off the bed and drape it over his knees. Since the air conditioning in Fenrir made the place into a practical icebox most of the time it was quite comfortable to have a blanket over his legs. He watched as Liam left to get the groceries. He admitted to checking the clock every five seconds as he feared Liam really would disappear on him. The panic was only slightly less than it had been at Target, but soon enough he heard Liam’s footsteps on the stairs.

  “It appears that my wings keep things cold, too. Who knew?” Liam laughed.

  “Seriously?”

  “All the goods are as cold as ice!”

  Cameron greedily watched Liam as his brother brought up four bags of groceries effortlessly and carried them into the kitchen where he began to put things away in the refrigerator with practiced ease as if he had done Cameron’s shopping always. Considering that Cameron never did any shopping he had no real ideas of how things should be put away. He watched as Liam neatly ordered all his beer and then loaded the drawers with fresh fruits and vegetables. He knew that he would later gaze into his refrigerator and see the food in their neat rows and would feel his brother’s love in this act. It was a ridiculous thing to do but he would do it and smile.

  “You didn’t try talking to Loki again while you were down there, did you?” Cameron asked warily. He hadn’t told Liam no
t to though he should have.

  His brother gave a dismissive snort. “No, he’s brooding in the corner. I had no desire to engage him again.”

  “He’s not a bad guy, Liam.”

  Liam let out a long breath. “No, I do not think he is. But I also believe he is being selfish and he is afraid.”

  Liam was arranging milk, eggs, flour, sugar and other ingredients on the small counter. He had found a bowl and a whisk from somewhere. Cameron wasn’t even aware that he owned a whisk. The cast iron pan, liberally seasoned, had been here when he’d moved in. He had used it a few times. Liam already had that on the stove, ready to make something with it.

  “What would he be afraid of?” Cameron asked.

  “He’s afraid if Thor knows what it is he wants that Thor won’t give it to him either,” Liam explained while he cracked eggs and measured flour.

  “What are you making over there? I think I see a package of bacon.”

  “Pancakes, bacon, but no lemon Cokes. Well, I have bought lemon and Coke so it’ll be close.” Liam started whisking the pancake batter together and Cameron’s stomach rumbled as he smelled butter melting.

  “Oh, that sounds freaking amazing.” Cameron sank back on the couch. “But back to this thing about Loki, do you think what he wants is something that Thor can give him anyways? He said only Odin could.”

  “Thor could intercede with Odin, but if he thought it was a bad idea then it would be the same as if Thor had the power to give this thing or not and told Loki no himself.” Liam spooned in silver dollar size dollops of batter into the cast iron pan.

  Cameron frisked under the blanket at the smell of the batter cooking and the edges crisping in the butter. “Okay, I see what you’re saying. So it’s Thor’s opinion he really cares about. Not Odin’s.”

  Liam nodded as he somewhere found yet another frying pan and put that on the other burner for the bacon. He flipped the first set of pancakes over to cook the other side of them.

  “I’ll get him to tell me what he wants, Liam, then you can go to Thor and tell him about it. I’m sure you can convince him to help,” Cameron said confidently.

  “Loki seemed pretty set about not saying a word. You think he’ll share his terms with you?” Liam took off the first set of pancakes and putting in more batter.

  “If it is fear that’s holding him back, he’ll break down, because hope if far stronger than fear can ever be,” Cameron responded. “But do you think he’s right that it would be worse with the old gods here than with the Gash?”

  Liam sighed. “Bringing gods back to Earth? It sounds like a bad idea in a lot of ways even if they are the most benevolent gods. People are and aren’t like they used to be. I think if Odin suddenly started appearing in front of people there would be mass hysteria.”

  “I think so, too. Would the Aesir understand that and keep hidden or would they demand worship like Loki says?”

  Liam laid strips of bacon into the other hot pan. there was an immediate sizzle as the fat hit the metal and the delightful smell of smoked pork wafted over to Cameron.

  “Some would,” Liam said after a long silence and his shoulders slumped. “Them coming here would change everything and not all in a good way. People think they have control over their lives now. Bad things happen, but not because they didn’t worship hard enough.”

  Another set of pancakes was finished and his brother used the remaining batter to form a few more before going to cut strawberries into slices. Cameron wondered if this apartment had ever been filled with such delicious smells. He felt about ready to eat his hand.

  “But there’s no way to defeat the Gash without them?” Cameron forced himself to think despite the growling in his stomach.

  “Loki seems to think so, but all the other Aesir seem to think not. The Valkyrie have never found a way,” Liam answered. He was now draining the bacon on paper towels before bringing over two plates and silverware for both of them to the table.

  “I can set the table.” Cameron leaped to his feet and the world spun for a moment. He grabbed the arm of the sofa, but somehow it receded from him and he was falling over, but then Liam was at his side, catching him, just in time. “Shit. I got up too fast I guess.”

  Liam’s worried blue eyes seemed to fill his vision. “Maybe you need some more mead.”

  Immediately, Cameron thought of the golden fluid and a wild desire for it filled him. His blood felt hungry for it. That had a stab of fear going through him and he shook his head. “No, no, really I’m okay.”

  The fear of addiction was something that haunted him. There had been too many times when he’d thought of drowning himself in drink or drugs since Liam died. He’d resisted the temptation by seeing how pathetic addiction made people. He hadn’t wanted to become like that. Maybe he really needed the mead, but this desire for it unnerved him and he was intent on resisting it for as long as he could.

  “Do you really think I could have … magic?” Cameron asked Liam.

  Liam tilted his head towards his art. “You’ve always had it, Cam. Maybe it wasn’t sending fireballs towards people, but you’ve always had magic.”

  “Well, I don’t think that the Gash will be so overcome with my painting that it will stop killing people,” Cameron replied wryly.

  “I don’t know. That painting of me naked is pretty arresting.” Liam quirked him a smile.

  A blush heated Cameron’s cheeks. “Yeah, well … you’ve always had a good physique. Must be a Thor trait.”

  “Do you …” His brother blushed, but his voice deepened as he continued, “Do you really see me like that, Cam?”

  Cameron looked over at the painting which showed his brother’s glorious naked body. “It’s pretty accurate, Liam. I might have toned down some of your definition actually.” He swallowed and added, “Liam … you’re … you’re beautiful. I’ve always thought that and after last night ...” God, am I a fool for talking about that? “After last night I know just how beautiful you are.”

  Liam blinked and Cameron saw that his eyelashes had touches of gold in their coloring. He loved how they fanned across his brother’s skin. He wanted to trace the hollows under Liam’s eyes. He wanted to trail his fingers over Liam’s cheeks. This desire to touch was almost overwhelming. He found that he wasn’t breathing. He let out a huff of air and drew in another.

  Liam was so still at that moment. His eyes were on Cameron. The irises were large as if with arousal. His pink lips were parted and a soft breath gushed out. It appeared that he was torn about speaking or not. Or … maybe not speaking.

  Kissing. He looks like he wants to kiss me.

  A corkscrew of desire wound its way up Cameron’s spine. Liam’s hands on his waist shifted and suddenly they were fully facing one another. Their fronts were only inches apart. Cameron swore he could feel his brother’s heat through his jeans.

  Liam tilted his head to the side and started to lower it. Cameron’s stomach seemed to flip and he tilted his own head to accept the kiss he was sure was coming. Three inches separated them then two then one and … Liam paused. His blue eyes almost looked black.

  “Cam,” he breathed out.

  “Liam.” Cameron’s fingers dug into his brother’s shoulders. This was where he belonged!

  But then suddenly Liam was just holding him, his face pressed against Cameron’s shoulder, his hot breath gushing through the thin material of Cameron’s t-shirt. Disappointment was quickly replaced with concern as Liam was trembling.

  “Liam?”

  “I’m all right. I just love you so much. I would do nothing to hurt you. Again, nothing to hurt you again,” Liam murmured against his shoulder. Cameron could feel his lips move.

  He wants me, too. But he’s afraid it’ll hurt me. It won’t! The realization nearly floored him, but he had to remain strong for his brother.

  “Liam, you would never hurt me —”

  “I already have in so many ways.”

  Liam was pulling back and the words that
Cameron wanted to get out seemed to stick in his throat. His brother’s eyes were shuttered. Whatever truths he would have been able see in them were hidden from him now.

  But not forever.

  Cameron allowed Liam to silently help him over to the table. Cameron’s feet felt steadier beneath him and he could have done it on his own, but he so liked having Liam’s arm around his shoulder and the other holding his hand. He sank down into the chair and Liam silently fussed over him a moment more before bringing out more food. There were the pancakes, bacon, butter, frosty Cokes syrup and raspberry jelly. Cameron noted that Liam had squeezed fresh lemons over ice in their glasses. Lemon Cokes.

  “You remembered that I like raspberry jelly with my pancakes,” Cameron said, his voice going tight with emotion. His father and Liam adored sticky sweet syrup, but Cameron had always wanted raspberry jelly. He loved the sweet-tart taste and even how the little seeds would stick between his teeth. He hadn’t had pancakes let alone with jelly in over a decade.

  “Of course,” Liam said with a surprised look as if to remember that kind of little detail after so long wasn’t stunning. He then sat at the table, too. His eyes were still opaque, but he smiled at Cameron as if to say: I’m here to take care of everything, Cam. I will love you and keep you safe even from myself. And I believe that this desire would hurt you so I’ll tuck it away and you’ll never know.

  A feeling of calm flowed over Cameron then. He wasn’t frustrated by his brother’s thoughts. He understood them. He had always understood Liam.

  I have to show him that not only do I want him, but that being with him would be a good thing. I have to be the one to move first. Cameron smiled as he thought, I’ll have to seduce Liam to make him mine in all ways.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN: TAKING CONTROL

  “You really should lay down for a little while, Cam,” Liam suggested and finished putting fresh sheets on the bed.

  “You know you keep finding things in this apartment that I didn’t know I had like another set of sheets,” Cameron laughed behind him.