Twist (Off Balance Book 4)

by Lucia Franco

  I turned around and opened my door to slip inside. I tried to shut it but Kova was quick and pushed himself in. His cell phone rang and the tone set me off.

  Kova answered the phone and I used it to my advantage by pushing him out the door. I shoved and pushed and dug my heels into the floor to get him out, but he was stronger.

  He positioned the phone between his shoulder and ear and used both of his hands to subdue me. He kicked the door shut and grabbed me by my upper arms and backed me up while he spoke Russian into the phone. I fought him but it wasn't enough. He walked forward until I was against the breakfast bar where I usually ate. I could have yelled but I really didn't need any more of Katja's wrath. Thunder cracked outside and I yelped. I looked over my shoulder toward the sliding glass door. I'd forgotten to shut the hurricane shutters.

  Face pulled tight and twisted with irritation, Kova shook his head for me to stay quiet while he spoke over Katja's high-pitched Russian. I cringed. Her voice was like nails on a chalkboard. They were speaking at the same time and over each other. I gathered they were fighting, but I couldn't be sure. I didn't really care.

  My back hit the marble and Kova stepped up to me. I drew in a quiet breath, lips parting as his body was flushed against mine. I resented him for how I felt when he touched me. I resented my body. I resented us and everything we'd become.

  I swallowed hard and licked my lips. I felt us click together, just like we always did.

  Kova's Russian slowed to a whisper. He frowned at me, gazing at my tear-stained cheeks until his eyes moved to my lips while Katja continued to scream. I felt his sadness, his longing. I felt him, and I didn't want to. I wanted to stay numb to the world. Life was easier that way, but with Kova by my side, it was nearly impossible. He was my light, my life, my protector, even when I didn't want him to be.

  Kova shook his head and mumbled something, which only set Katja off again. I leaned back, fighting us as he leaned in closer. My heart raced. Using the heel of my hand, I pushed at his jaw, angling his head back, hoping he'd back off. A vein strained along the length of his neck and the days old black stubble scraped my palm, but he fought me by holding my wrist down. Kova's body hardened, heating against mine, willing it to life.

  This is what we did. What we were good at.

  I whimpered, missing the strength of his body against mine, the way he'd make me forget everything when it was just us. Kova was so strong. He had no idea how much I drew from him for weeks until that dreadful day at the doctor’s office. Since then, I hadn't been myself, and now that it was just me and him, I felt myself awakening again. I felt that pull, that strength I needed only he could give me. My emotions simmered at the surface and that scared me. I wanted to fight him, to unleash everything I had in me on him. And I wanted him to fight me back.

  Breathing heavily, our chests mimicked each other's as he descended again. I pushed him away and turned my head, giving him my cheek. Russian words not meant for me danced across my skin as he kissed where the tears had fallen. I squeezed my eyes shut and it broke me inside how gentle he was being. He wanted to help, but I didn't want the nice guy Kova. I wanted him to fume and walk away.

  Kova inhaled deeply and dragged his nose through my hair. He continued to pepper little kisses all over my cheek, nuzzling me. His hot breath tickled my neck and I let out a small cry, cursing myself for it. Goose bumps broke out over my skin and I trembled against him, hating the need to feel every inch of him.

  Gripping the phone in one hand, Kova pulled back just an inch to peer down at me. His piercing eyes held me captive, and for a moment there were no barriers between us. It was just the two of us. He breathed life into me and I inhaled it deeply into my lungs.

  There were a lot of things I didn't understand in this crazy world. But the most peculiar thing was that of me and Kova. He had no morals and I had no dignity. We willingly stripped each other of everything except us. When I needed to be alone, when I felt lost and empty, he forced himself into my life. Just like the few times when he actually admitted to needing me, I gave him every inch and then some without reason. I was positive I'd never understand this savage push and pull we fed off of, but then again, some things were not meant to be explained.

  But that look. I knew that look. It was the look that made my heart skip a beat. Kova was going to kiss me, and the thought provoked something inside my heart. Even when I didn't want him here, when I was so angry at the world for the cards I'd been dealt, and even while he spoke to his wife on the phone, he was going to kiss me.

  He had no principles, but it was obvious I didn't either.

  I reached up and took his bottom lip between my teeth and jerked him to me. His body stiffened but that didn't stop him. Whatever he was in the middle of saying to Katja was enough to enrage her and allow me to force my way in for a brief second. But I didn't need to. Kova was quicker and kissed me hard, plunging his tongue into my mouth. His thick tongue stroked mine and wrapped me around him. I melted against him and opened up to draw his essence into me as my body roused with desire. My free hand tangled in the hair at his damp nape, and I latched on, tugging and pulling it between clenched fingers.

  Kova pushed his mouth harder into mine, growling and devouring my lips with precision, and elicited a moan from me. Letting go of my wrist, his hand moved to my throat and my nipples tightened as he applied pressure. Sensation took over. I let out a loud and satisfied moan, forgetting why I didn't want him here. He kissed me again, this time long and deep and slow. My body rolled into his, into the rigid length that hung between his hips. Shifting my feet apart, I hiked a leg over his waist and grinded myself on his hard cock. Kova pressed his thumb down on the center of my throat and wetness seeped from me. I cried out, craving more, when I heard the shrill of his wife's voice from the other end of his phone.

  Cold water washed over me.

  I snapped and broke the kiss. Not because I was mad at myself for how I was acting—I was a little—but because Kova played right into it with me. It was sick we both got off on fucking around. Kova had never admitted to finding joy in cheating, but he never stopped either. Not even after he was married. I had to wonder if he liked the rush as much as I did. I shouldn't, but the truth was, I did. I loved it, and that made me a terrible person. Now that I thought about it, I was certain that was the reason for the hand I was dealt. The diseases were Karma’s way of getting back at me. They had to be.

  Tears blurred my vision again. I'd gotten what I deserved.

  Reaching up, I yanked his cell phone from his hand and slammed it onto the marble counter next to us. I wanted to silence her voice and get him out of my condo. I couldn’t take hearing her anymore. The screen shattered and the phone turned black. And thank fucking God she was gone.

  "You are fucking crazy. You know that?"

  "All woman are. Now get the hell off me and get out."

  But he didn't. Kova stared where the phone had slid from my hand on the counter. His eyes hardened to deadly points, and his body stiffened. I followed his gaze…

  To Hayden's shirt.

  It was sitting in a giant decorative bowl on the counter. He'd left it at my house after we had sex but I'd yet to return it to him. I'd just forgotten.

  I smiled to myself, knowing this was the fuel I needed to make him mad.

  "Was that another thing I should have told you?" I asked sarcastically. "Because I did. You just didn't believe me."

  Twenty-Three

  Kova was off me like my body had come alive with flames. I used his shock to quickly put distance between us.

  There was no doubt the shirt was Hayden's, and Kova knew that. It had the initials of the college he was attending in the fall. The same college Kova helped him record a video to apply to the men's gymnastics team.

  "Hayden came here," he said more to himself.

  "Oh, he came all right." I wanted to hurt him the way he’d hurt me. I wanted to get it all out and not have any more secrets pressing on my chest.

&nbs
p; Kova's eyes lit up as he glared at me. For a brief moment I stood frozen in place. Damn, his gaze was powerful. Dark and lethal, his eyes searched mine for the truth of my ambiguous words. I'd never seen him wear hatred this deep, or sorrow so profound like he was now.

  As I looked him straight in the eye, a slow smile spread across my face from ear to ear.

  "He came in my bed, in my shower, in my kitchen, in—"

  I blinked and Kova was charging me, eating up the space I'd just put between us. My eyes widened with a little panic. I was nearly knocked over by the rage he emitted from across the room. I stepped back as fast as I could and hit a wall. Kova's hand flew out and grasped my neck. His thumb stroked over my pulse. I gasped and grabbed his wrist, trying to tug him off.

  "You are lying." His eyes blazed so bright I was caught off guard by them. "Tell me the truth!"

  My heart pounded so hard in my chest I thought I was going to have a heart attack. I knew he could feel it.

  "Someone needed to take my mind off you, and Hayden did an amazing job at that."

  "Did you fuck him?" His eyes were huge. I thought he was going to pop a blood vessel.

  "Do you want me to spell it out for you? Better yet, I can describe his dick if you want me to. It's about five—"

  A strangled sound erupted from Kova's throat. His face contorted like he was in agony. As he let go of my neck, he yelled out something in Russian. Kova picked up the delicate, sea-blue glass vase on the table next to us and slammed it down, shattering it into a million little pieces. I jumped and ran to the opposite side of the room, toward the sliding glass door, only to have him stalk me just as quickly, tracking me with his lethal glare. He was like a caged animal set free, ready to go in for the kill.

  The tension between us simmered to a suffocating level.

  Maybe now he knew how I’d felt when I’d found out he’d married Katja.

  That dam I'd constructed to hold back the tears after the crippling and devastating moments that altered my life was cracking with each blink of my eyes. The flood of emotion in me was rising to a catastrophic level.

  Could he feel it?

  I felt it, and I couldn't stop it.

  "Hurts, doesn't it?" I bit out with a sneer.

  "Why would you do this to me? To us?" he said, sounding defeated.

  I stopped moving.

  My inner ticking time bomb just went off.

  I. Fucking. Lost. It.

  A maniacal laugh burst from my lungs. This time the tears didn't come because I was sad. No, they came because I felt rage pour out of me in ways I'd never experienced in my life. It inspired me and all I saw was blood.

  Fingers trembling, I reached for the heavy candle next to me, and without thinking, I threw it, aiming for his head.

  "How could I do this to us? Are you fucking kidding me?" I screamed, jaw quivering.

  There was a pounding in my ears, and my chest burned with uncontrollable anger. The glass candle collided with the wall and broke. I would kill him. I would kill him for saying that.

  "How dare you say such a thing to me. You're fucking married, Kova. That fucking ring on your finger is proof. You created this fucking mess," I said, moving my finger back and forth between us. “You broke me. You fucking broke us. How dare you try to turn this around on me. If it wasn’t for the fact you got fucking married, none of this would even be happening!”

  "I never cheated on you, though," he replied and then ducked when I threw another object at him. "Not like you think. I married her for you, not because I wanted to!"

  Candles were missiles and I threw them one by one. I was determined to hit him. My breathing grew dense and thick with each intake of breath and all I wanted to do was inflict pain on him the way he had me. Why did my aim have to suck so bad?

  I strode up to him with hate filling my veins. "Are you delusional? You married her for me?" He was breathing just as hard as I was. "That's what you're going with? No, you married her because it was a choice you made, then you came to me when you got married and fucked me on that couch." I pointed to my sofa, my voice cracking as I thought back to that night when I gave him every part of me. That night was the first and last time we ever made love, and it stayed with me ever since. "Another choice you made. How sick and demented are you to say you married another woman for me? How?"

  "When did you fuck—" He scowled, the hurt prevalent in his eyes that I almost felt bad. He couldn’t even say the word. Kova's eyes scanned the floor, he looked lost and tangled in his emotions. "I cannot believe you did this," he whispered, his accent thicker than usual.

  My eyes widened at his ridiculousness. "When did I fuck Hayden? Is that what you're trying to ask me?"

  He looked up. "Was it after the kidney disease? Or before?"

  I broke inside.

  "Don't say those words!" I yelled and offset his steps again with mine, crying so hard I could hardly catch my breath. Through blurry eyes, I grabbed the neck of the lamp and took a deep breath, struggling to hold on to the little sanity I had left. Kova's eyes dropped to my fisted hand then met my gaze.

  "Was it after the lupus?"

  "Stop it!" I cried. "Why are you doing this to me?"

  Kova was pushing me, goading me, knowing I didn't want to talk about that. Anything but that. My face twisted with heartbreak and with all my might, I yanked the cord from the wall and swung my arm back to throw the lamp at him. An anguished cry left my throat as I hurled it through the air. I took off running to the kitchen, frantically looking for something to chuck at him if he uttered those words again. A wooden spoon would do, a glass, a pan, anything—my eyes landed on a knife.

  I reached for the black handle when a heavy body flew into my back. Kova tackled me from behind. A gasp of air burst from my lungs as he spun me around.

  "Get away from me—"

  "Adrianna."

  "Leave me alone. Why are you even here? Go home to your perfect house with your perfect wife and your perfect dog. Stop torturing me."

  I shoved back at his chest with my free hand, trying to push him away, but he released all his weight and crushed himself to me. He was quick and pinned my hips to the counter with his strength. It was so easy for him. Air rushed from my lungs. Fuck. He was heavy. Given his height and frame, I estimated Kova to be around two hundred and thirty pounds of solid muscle.

  My heart beat frantically against my ribs and hot tears blurred my vision. I thrashed against him, pushing at his neck with the palm of my hand to get him to move, but he only burrowed closer to me. He was such an asshole.

  Kova yelled at me to stop, but I was too enraged and upset. He allowed this to happen.

  "Aren't you ashamed of yourself?" I spat, trying to hit him. "Disgusted that you're married but here with me? What is she? Pregnant? Do you just unload your cum—yeah, I said cum, I use big girl words—in everyone and pray for the best? Do you have no integrity? No moral compass? How can you still fuck around with me while married to her?"

  "Let me explain!"

  "Let me explain," I mimicked in my best Russian accent. "You always need a reason to explain yourself, Kova."

  I pinched his neck and his eyes blazed with fire. I dug my nails in deep hoping to draw blood. His skin broke under my fingernails, but he didn't flinch. Leaning in, I bit his arm and he grunted and yanked back. I moved my hips from side to side to show him my resistance but it only backfired. His cock hardened against me and I absolutely hated myself for reacting to it. The corner of his mouth pulled up into a smug grin. My arms broke out in goose bumps as a fire lit inside me.

  It sickened me that I became hot against his dick. I was past the point of livid, but I needed to make him feel the weight of his words, I needed him to understand where I was coming from and how much he hurt me. He wasn't supposed to know about my secrets. I hated, hated, hated that he knew. Fighting him wasn't easy, especially when I was already so weak.

  And yet I didn't stop, because the storm brewing inside me felt too good. The allure
was too strong and it gave me a thrill to see him as hurt as I was. Provoking him only provoked me, which helped me breathe.

  And that wasn't healthy for either of us.

  "Once again, you've made me hate the sight of you. Here I was thinking you were my light helping me see past everything, but you really were just pulling my strings. You're a disgusting human being and I hate the things you make me feel. I'd rather be numb than live through what you've made me go through. I can't believe you would do this, come here and question me like you have some sort of right. And then to say how could I do this to you? The audacity. You are sick. This pulling me back and forth? I'm done with it. I'm done with you. Officially done with everything. I'm done with the medicine and the doctors and the needles. I want you out of my life and I never want you to touch me again. You're horrible!"

  Kova let go of my wrist and surrendered. "Say what you need." He breathed heavily into me, almost as if he was struggling with me. "I know you do not mean any of it, but if it helps you, then take it out on me."

  Gritting my teeth, I reared back, and with all my might, I slapped him across the face so hard his head snapped to the side and my palm stung from the connection.

  An audible gasp escaped me. Tears filled my eyes over my cruel actions. The room grew jarringly quiet while it exploded with strain. Kova's entire body hardened to stone and I was nervous to see how he'd respond. I'd never hit another person before and I was surprised I did, but what shocked me the most was the lack of remorse I felt.

  "You only ever give a shit about yourself. You're the most selfish man I've ever met."

  The skin between his eyes crinkled together. "Sumasshedshiy."

  Seething, I slapped him again because I knew what he said couldn't have been good. His cock hardened to a rock as wetness seeped from me.

  "Your ethics are fucked up." I raged, my breathing weighted with untamed emotion. "How can you tell lie after lie and never feel bad about it? You use me. You use me when Katja isn't around, then make me feel guilty for fucking Hayden like you have some claim on me."