But now, bad news was being delivered to her. She could tell by Dr. Willette’s furrowed brow.
“What is it?” Josh asked.
“We believe Jaden has something called Long QT Syndrome,” he said. “It’s a genetic disorder affecting the heart.”
Her mind searched her mental archives for any recollection of this disease. She found none. Hadn’t they taught her anything in nursing school? Where was her knowledge when she needed it?
“That sounds bad,” Jaden said.
She resisted the urge to rush to her son’s side and pull him into a tight hug.
Jaden had his phone out. Was he texting? Now?
“So it’s a heart rhythm condition.” He glanced up from his phone. Not texting. Googling. She wished he’d been texting.
“Jaden, what have I told you about Dr. Google?” Carly said.
“Can cause fast, chaotic heartbeats, which can trigger fainting or seizure.” He mumbled through the rest of the sentence, then added, “Can cause sudden death.”
“Death?” Josh grabbed the phone from their son.
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Dr. Willette said.
Carly’s head spun. Long QT syndrome—a genetic heart condition. Had he gotten this from her? From Josh? Neither of them had any trouble with their hearts.
“This is very treatable,” the doctor said.
Josh clicked Jaden’s phone off. “What’s the treatment?” He shifted and their knees touched. She moved away.
He glanced at her, but she kept her eyes on the doctor.
Her only focus was to figure out how to make sure their son had the best possible care. Josh’s feelings were secondary.
“There are a few different options, but the one I’d like to discuss is an implantable defibrillator,” Dr. Willette said. “I’ve asked one of my colleagues, Dr. Roby, to join us this morning to explain it a little better. This is more in his wheelhouse.”
Carly straightened. Dr. Errol Roby was the hospital’s chief of surgery. He’d been a general surgeon for years—so many years the nurses had a pool going on to predict when the man might retire.
“Implantable? Like surgery?” Josh’s gaze stayed on the doctor. He was asking the questions Carly should be asking. Where was her head?
As Dr. Willette opened the exam room door, she glanced at Jaden, whose face had turned pale, and her mind spun with memories of her little boy running around the house in a diaper, dragging behind that raggedy old teddy bear Josh had given him on the day he was born.
How had they gotten here? So much brokenness mixed with so much beauty to create the moments that were their lives.
They weren’t the family she’d always dreamed of having, but they were a family, and whether she’d ever admit it aloud or not, she was thankful Josh was here now.
Dr. Roby walked in with a robust smile, as if he were a clown at a birthday party, set to entertain. “Good morning, folks.”
Nobody responded. Even Carly couldn’t muster a hello.
“Carly, I understand you’re one of our pediatric nurses,” he said. “I hate that we’re meeting under these circumstances, but we’re going to take very good care of your boy.”
“Thank you,” Carly said.
“Jaden, I’m the chief of surgery here at the hospital,” Dr. Roby said.
“So, it is surgery?” Josh asked.
Dr. Roby explained that implanting the device was a simple and fairly routine procedure. He concluded with, “Surgery will take somewhere around two hours.”
“Then what?” Jaden asked.
“You’ll be in the hospital overnight, and then we’ll send you home where you can recover. I’d expect that to be another few days, maybe a week.”
“But when could I ski again?”
Dr. Willette’s eyes darted to Carly’s. Dr. Roby’s stayed on Jaden. His face softened.
“I don’t advise that you continue skiing, son.”
“What?” Jaden looked at Carly, then at Josh, as if searching for some support she didn’t know how to give.
“Dr. Roby, our son is a skier,” Josh said. “It’s the most important thing in his life.”
God, are you really this cruel?
Dr. Roby’s expression changed. “I understand this is difficult, but with Long QT and your ICD—that’s your implanted device—it’s a big risk. We want to lower the risk of malfunction—we all want what’s best for Jaden.”
“Right,” Josh said. “But what’s best for him is to be able to continue skiing.”
Tears pooled at the bottom of Jaden’s eyes.
“I know it’s hard,” Dr. Roby said, though Carly was beginning to suspect the man didn’t know. How could he be this calm if he actually understood? “But it’s Jaden’s health we’re most concerned about.”
“How many of these devices have you implanted?” Josh asked.
Dr. Roby’s smile condescended. The man was notorious for his ego, and he did not like to be questioned. Carly willed Josh to stop pushing—she had to work in this hospital. She had a promotion on the line.
But at the same time, she was actually grateful he was asking questions, even if they made the chief of surgery squirm.
“I can attest to Dr. Roby’s competence,” David said. “You’re in great hands.”
Could those great hands change the outcome of these tests? Could those great hands make this all go away so Jaden could get back to doing what he loved?
“It’s a lot to take in, but all things considered, Jaden, you are very lucky. I don’t want to think about what could’ve happened if we hadn’t discovered your disease.” Dr. Roby met Carly’s eyes. “Do you have any questions?”
Only a million.
Namely, why? Why did this have to happen to her son, who finally seemed happy, who had something in that training center that brought more joy than anything ever had for him before.
A little over a year ago, Carly had been worried about her son. He had a sadness in him she couldn’t quite place. He had a few friends through church, but mostly, he was a loner—but skiing changed that. It became more than just a passing fancy—and her son blossomed. He smiled more. He had friends. He’d even been out on two sort-of dates. Was everything going to change now?
“Is surgery the only option?” Josh asked.
Another good question. Why hadn’t Carly asked that?
“There are medications used to treat Long QT, but we would feel most comfortable implanting the device. Given what we’re seeing in his tests, that would be my recommendation.” Dr. Roby stood. “Any sudden burst of adrenaline can put your heart into a fatal rhythm. This isn’t something to take lightly.”
Carly resisted the urge to ask the man which person in the room seemed to be taking any of this lightly? Did he not see her son’s heart was broken—literally?
“We’re going to give you some time to discuss,” Dr. Roby said. “Just open the door when you’re ready for us to come back in.”
The two doctors left, leaving the three of them sitting in silence. Carly stood and walked over to Jaden, whose lower lip trembled.
She wrapped him in a hug and forced herself to hold it together.
You’re the strong one, Carly. He needs you to be strong.
It didn’t matter that she didn’t feel strong. It didn’t matter that her mind was spinning with worst-case scenario thoughts or that her fear and anxiety were at an all-time high. She had a son who needed her, and he didn’t need to see her falling apart.
She could do that later, when nobody was looking.
“It’s going to be okay,” she said.
Jaden’s jaw quivered and tears slid down his cheeks. He quickly wiped them away with a stern I’m okay nod.
Beside them, Josh stood, maybe feeling awkward and unsure. But he slid an arm around Jaden’s other shoulder and they stayed like that for a long moment.
Carly found Josh’s eyes over Jaden’s head and he gave her the slightest, almost undetectable nod—a nod tha
t said We’re going to be okay and she clung to it. She had to believe it.
The knot of anger she’d carried around in her belly for all these years slowly began to unravel, only a little bit, but it was something, and she found herself grateful she wasn’t facing this storm alone.
She was the one with medical knowledge, and yet, in this case, that may be working against her. How little statistics meant to her when she constantly saw exceptions to every rule, when she constantly saw that common things weren’t always common.
“I can’t quit skiing.” Jaden wiped his eyes dry with the back of his hand.
Carly looked up to keep from crying. Why was this so hard? She’d been strong for sixteen years of this kid’s life—why was she flailing so badly now?
“Look, I know it’s not what any of us wanted,” Carly said. “But it’s treatable. That’s what we need to focus on. You get to go on living your life.”
“You don’t get it,” Jaden said. “If I can’t ski, I’m not living my life.”
She knew that. She couldn’t be insensitive to how he was feeling right now. This whole thing just stank—there was no way around it.
“Your health is the most important thing,” Carly said. “Let’s get that taken care of and then we’ll worry about the rest of it.”
Jaden’s gaze fell to the floor as he tried not to cry.
“We’ll get a second opinion,” Josh said.
Carly shot him a look.
“I mean, that guy might be great, but he doesn’t know everything.”
“Josh.”
He ignored her. “We’re going to explore all of our options. If there’s a way for you to keep skiing, we’re going to find it.”
Why was he saying these things? Why plant false hope—wasn’t he listening? But then, Josh didn’t know any better because he didn’t have real parenting experience. Frustration bubbled inside her.
“You trust us to do that, right?” Josh asked.
Jaden looked miserable, but he still nodded.
“So listen, we’ll get the surgery scheduled because that’s non-negotiable, but we’ll ask around about this Long QT Syndrome. We’ll exhaust all of our options. Deal?”
“I’m not giving up skiing,” Jaden said, his voice resolute.
Carly looked at Josh, then back at their son.
“And I’m not quitting at the training center,” Jaden said. “I’m not bailing on Grady.”
Jaden wouldn’t have only been training at the indoor facility, he’d agreed to work for Grady and Benji, giving lessons to younger kids, cleaning equipment and doing whatever else his bosses told him to.
“I’m sure you can still work there,” Carly said, even though she wasn’t sure of anything. “You can still do some of what you planned to do.”
“Like what, clean the equipment? That’s not what I signed up for.”
It was what he’d signed up for, actually, but Carly didn’t say so.
Her heart was so conflicted. Knowing how much Jaden was hurting was killing her, but knowing his heart needed a device to ensure it kept functioning properly was terrifying.
“Jaden, let’s get the surgery scheduled and then we’ll figure the rest of this out,” Carly said. “Okay?”
“Your health is more important right now,” Josh said. “You know that, even though you don’t want to admit it.”
“I know.” Jaden shrugged. “You can schedule the surgery, but tell that old guy I’m not going to give up skiing.”
Josh stood in the hallway at the hospital, waiting for Rebecca to answer his call. Voicemail. He listened to the outgoing message, then cleared his throat. “Hey, Becks, looks like I’m going to be here a little longer than I thought. I’m going to email you for some files I need you to get off of our server and put into Dropbox. There are a few things I need access to that I don’t have right now.
Let me know how things are going—Dale’s got a pile of work on his desk with that new client—maybe check in on him for me? I’m sorry this is taking longer than I thought, but I don’t really feel like I can leave right now. Call me back when you get this.”
He hung up, turned around and saw Carly standing with Dr. Willette. Jaden had gone off to get a soda, leaving the two of them alone, and they looked to be deep in conversation. His stomach twisted. Being here wouldn’t be easy, especially if she kept seeing that guy. But he wasn’t going to leave them—not with Jaden so fragile and everything so up in the air.
He’d already made that mistake once.
He’d find a rental so he could get out of Cole’s way, though that wouldn’t be easy in the summer in a tourist town. He’d get his work situated, maybe have Rebecca come up for a few days to go through anything that needed to be discussed in person. But most importantly, he’d do whatever Carly and Jaden needed him to. He’d prove to both of them he was someone they could depend on.
He was done walking away from responsibilities. He was done not being there for them.
He knew it wouldn’t be enough—no amount of penance ever would be—but it was a start.
Carly turned toward Josh, who quickly looked away, as if he could hide the fact that he’d been staring. Seconds later, she was walking toward him.
“I think we’re all set. Surgery with Dr. Roby early next week.” Carly pulled her bottom lip in, and he saw it for the first time in years—she wasn’t nearly as strong as she acted—if he had to guess, she didn’t feel strong at all right now.
He wanted to pull her into his arms, to hold her, to tell her everything was going to be okay. He wanted to promise to never leave again—if she’d let him, he’d stay forever.
But she steeled her jaw and gave him a forced nod. “Lots to do to get ready for this.”
“You trust that guy?” Josh asked.
“Dr. Roby is one of the best.” Carly looked over to where Dr. Roby and Dr. Willette were standing, just outside the exam room they’d vacated only moments before.
“But you’re not sure.” He could see it in her eyes.
She shook her head. “I’m sure. I completely trust him to do the surgery.”
“So what is it that’s bugging you?”
Carly’s eyes darted to his, then quickly away. “No, it’s nothing.”
But it wasn’t nothing, and Josh could tell.
Carly turned, and Josh followed her gaze across the room to find the older doctor heading their way.
He gave them a smile. It was meant to calm them, to reassure them, but Josh found it patronizing.
“How’s everyone holding up?”
“We’re doing okay,” Carly said.
“This is all going to turn out just fine,” he said.
The guy was seriously deluded if he thought not skiing would ever be “fine” for their son.
“We hope so,” Carly said.
“Carly, on a positive note, I’m hearing good things about you around here. I think they’re making some important decisions in the upcoming weeks. I know it’s terrible timing, but maybe you’ll get some good news to help digest all that’s happening with Jaden.”
Her shoulders slumped slightly and she plastered a fake smile on her face. “Thank you.”
Dr. Roby shook Josh’s hand before walking away.
“What was that about? Are you up for a promotion?”
She looked away, shyness washing over her. It was adorable. She was adorable. “It’s nothing.”
“It’s obviously not nothing.”
“It doesn’t matter anyway,” she said. “Right now I need to focus on Jaden.” She let out a heavy sigh and ran her hands over her face. Lines of stress stretched across her forehead. He wanted to rub them away.
“Let me help,” he said.
She ran a hand through her hair, shaking it out and leaving it fuller and more inviting than before.
Focus. She doesn’t need you fantasizing about running your fingers through her hair right now.
But oh, how he wanted to run his fingers through her hair r
ight now.
“I don’t even know what to ask you to do,” she said. “My head is spinning.”
“For starters, you’re going to go ask for some time off of work,” he said.
She half laughed. “That’s not going to happen.”
“Why not?”
She crossed her arms over her chest and stared at him. “Have you forgotten what it’s like to pay bills?”
“Of course not,” he said. “I’m saying, I’m going to take care of everything so you can take a few weeks off to be with Jaden.”
She gave her head a deliberate shake. “No, you’re not doing that.”
“Why not?” he asked. “Look, Carly, I know we don’t talk very much anymore, but I’m doing pretty well now.”
Her eye roll was less sarcastic and more amused. He wondered if she was secretly proud of his success. He hoped she was. He’d only ever wanted to make her proud.
Besides, he’d never admit it to anyone else, but it had been nice to prove everyone wrong.
Nobody would’ve believed that C student and perpetual detention holder Josh Dixon would ever do more with his life than work at a gas station and play the lottery.
He’d shown them, hadn’t he?
Success should make him feel better than it had. Somehow, it was always overshadowed by the sins of the past—not only the mistakes he’d made with Jaden and Carly, but mistakes he’d made so many years before that.
“I know you want to be with him,” Josh said, forcing his mind to stop wandering.
“Of course I do.” Tears welled in her eyes. He could pull her into his arms. He could give her the kind of comfort he used to when she’d had a bad day—no questions asked.
But she took a step away, as if she’d overheard thoughts he would never say aloud.
Point taken.
He stared at her.
“Don’t look at me,” she said, covering her face with her hands.
“Still the best view I’ve ever seen.” He smiled, despite not feeling like it.
She waved him off. “If I take weeks off right now, I can kiss that promotion goodbye.”
“You don’t know that. Extenuating circumstances must count for something.”
Just One Kiss: A Harbor Pointe Novel Page 10