She shook her head.
“Let me do this for you,” Josh said. “Let me take care of you guys.”
Carly pressed her lips together and turned away just as Jaden stepped off the elevator with a can of Coke.
“Can we go home?” he asked.
“Yep,” Josh said.
Jaden turned back toward the elevators, and Josh looked at Carly. “Okay?”
“We’ll talk about it later,” she said.
“Talk about what?” Jaden cracked open the can of soda and took a drink.
“The schedule,” Josh said. “Just trying to work it out.”
“I don’t need a babysitter.” Jaden faced them.
“You’re going to need someone to take care of you after surgery,” Carly said.
“That’s you, right? You’re the nurse.”
The elevator arrived and Jaden stepped inside and put a hand on the door until his parents entered.
“It’s complicated, Jaden,” Carly said.
Their son pushed the button for the first floor and they stood in silence as the doors closed.
“She just needs to get some time off work,” Josh said.
“Can we afford that?” Jaden asked.
Carly held on to the handles of the purse she’d slung over her shoulder.
“Yeah,” Josh said. “It’ll be fine.”
“How?” Jaden asked.
“Don’t worry about it, kid. It’s going to be fine.” Josh looked at Carly until finally, she looked back. She didn’t like this, and he knew it, but she was going to have to accept his help if she wanted to be there for Jaden.
And if she did, then finally—finally—Josh would have a tangible way to prove himself to her.
And while he wasn’t thankful for the circumstances that had brought him back to Harbor Pointe, he was thankful he was there. He only prayed he wasn’t the only one.
13
“Jay, you wanna rematch?” Josh asked as they walked to the car.
A rematch of some video game battle, no doubt. Carly wouldn’t be able to think straight if Josh came to their house again. And yet, Jaden couldn’t do much else—shouldn’t she loosen up a little?
But how? The man turned her insides out, and she was terrified her resolve was crumbling right along with the anger she’d carried for so many years. That anger had kept her safe, a constant reminder of what would happen if she was foolish with her heart.
Without it, Carly was utterly defenseless.
“I mean if it’s cool with your mom,” Josh said.
Jaden glanced at Carly, then back at his dad. “She’s probably got another date with Dr. Doolittle anyway.”
“Manners.” Her tone warned. Jaden’s expression turned sheepish the way it often did when he knew he’d crossed a line. Never mind that Jaden likely viewed David as the enemy—someone who insisted on taking away the one thing that mattered most to him.
She didn’t want to think about her last conversation with David, the one in which he asked her to go out on his boat with him once they were through all of this medical stuff. He’d said it as if she could think—even for a second—about anything other than her son.
Maybe the doctor was so accustomed to delivering this kind of news and performing these kinds of procedures that he failed to realize there were real people on the receiving end of what he said.
David might be a nice guy, but right now, she sort of wanted to forget they’d ever seen each other as anything other than doctor/mother-of-patient.
“Do you?” Josh looked at her, his blue eyes drawing her in from feet away.
Carly shook her head.
“Can we go to Dockside?” Jaden asked. “You know, one last hurrah before I’m laid up for a month?”
“You won’t be a complete invalid,” Carly said. “You still have to keep your room picked up.”
“Slave driver.” Jaden smirked, a hint of amusement washing over him, then looked at Josh. “She never cuts me any slack.”
Josh still stared at Carly. “I bet she doesn’t.”
Carly tried to think of something witty and nonchalant to say in response, but her head was filled with thoughts she’d never say aloud. Besides, she didn’t feel witty or nonchalant.
They’d been through so much, and yet the journey they were walking out now felt bigger than everything that had come before.
Carly’s eyes darted from Jaden to Josh and back again. The two of them together—it was hard to get used to—and yet, nothing about their relationship seemed stunted in any way. Jaden had forgiven Josh—no strings. He didn’t even seem concerned that Josh might let him down again.
Jaden was young and foolish. Carly knew better.
“Mom?” Jaden snapped his fingers.
“Sorry,” she said, shaking off her mental reminders to guard her heart. “I can go pick up pizza if that’s what you guys want.”
“No, let’s take a break. Stay out of the house for a little while,” Josh said. “I’ll drive.”
Carly searched her mind for an excuse—anything—not to go with them.
“Awesome,” Jaden said. “I’m starving.”
Before she knew it, Carly was sitting in the front seat next to Josh, her mind trying (failing) not to scroll back years and remember their first date and how it had felt to sit in the passenger seat of his car as something possibly more than a friend.
They’d always been friends, but around the time they started high school, things shifted between them. Their chosen paths could not have been more different.
Carly had already begun thinking about college, working hard to get straight A’s. She’d run for student council representative—and won. She volunteered after school at Haven House, a home for older kids with nowhere else to go that sat on the outskirts of town. The home was run by a local couple, and while it wasn’t something small towns often had, it was something many of them needed. Harbor Pointe always supported the home—it wasn’t foster care, but it was safe. And Carly loved helping out in the kitchen or tutoring kids when she could.
Josh, on the other hand, had taken a different route. Sure, he still played football, but he spent his weekends partying with the seniors on the team. While Carly was helping bake fresh bread at Haven House, Josh was twiddling his thumbs in detention. His grades had fallen, and it was obvious his future was the last thing on his mind.
Maybe his rebellion was a way to get back at his parents, to disrupt the perfect façade they’d crafted so well.
As they entered high school, the public divide between them grew, but their friendship was intact whether anyone knew it or not.
How could she turn her back on him now, given all she knew about him? Nobody else knew about the times Josh showed up with bruises and welts on his back or the real reasons he never wanted to go home.
But they kept their friendship to themselves. Hanging out with Carly would’ve ruined Josh’s reputation, but hanging out with Josh would’ve destroyed hers.
One day, a few months into their junior year, though, things changed between them again.
Carly had just finished packing lunches for her and Quinn when they heard a loud engine rumbling down their quiet street.
When the noise stopped in front of her house, Carly made her way to the front window and looked outside. An old black Mustang was parked in front of the cottage. Her heart sputtered. Her dad had worked an early shift, so she and Quinn were home alone.
But her nerves settled as soon as the driver’s-side door opened and Josh got out.
Josh had a car?
She opened the front door and walked outside barefoot. “What in the world?”
He held his arms out and grinned at her. “You like it?”
“You got a car?”
“Yep. No more walking to school for you.”
He wanted to drive her to school? What would his friends say?
What would her friends say?
“No way my dad is going to let me ride with you.”
/> “I’m a good driver.” He feigned offense.
She crossed her arms over her chest and gave him a look that clearly communicated I don’t believe you. “How’d you pay for that, anyway?”
“Been saving everything I made at the car wash.” He strode toward her. “Plus, the guy gave me a good deal. It needed some engine work.”
She knew Josh was good with mechanical things, but she had no idea he knew how to fix cars. “Well, it’s something.”
He’d stopped at the bottom of the steps and looked up at her—not in the same way he usually looked at her either. It was the kind of look that made her feel like she couldn’t get a deep breath. “I wanted to ask you something.”
“Okay, but can you follow me inside? I have to finish getting ready.” She turned toward the door but he grabbed her hand before she could take a step.
She looked at him.
“Will you go out with me?”
“What?”
“I was waiting to ask until I could take you out for real.” His face turned shy, and even in that moment she knew things would be different between them, whether she agreed to go out with him or not.
“Like on a date?”
He stuffed his hands in his pockets and shrugged. “Yeah.”
“Me and you?”
“Is that so hard to imagine?” He met her gaze.
“Kind of,” she said.
His face fell.
“I mean, what about your reputation? People might think you’ve turned soft.”
“I don’t really care what people think.” His grin turned lazy, and her heart sputtered.
She searched for a snappy comeback, but her mind had gone blank.
“But I know you do,” he said.
She studied him for a long moment. He’d grown over the summer and now stood at least six inches taller than her. He’d been working out for football, transforming his body from little-boy scrawny to post-adolescent ripped. She knew his workouts were less about football and more about getting strong enough to protect his mom from his dad’s angry outbursts—a fact she found both heartbreaking and admirable.
He rarely talked about it, but every now and then, he’d let it slip that he was planning to get her out of there, as if she was the only one who needed saving. As if his father reserved his anger only for her.
But he didn’t know she’d caught a glimpse of an inch of skin just above his belt in the hallway last week when he reached for a book on the top shelf of his locker. He didn’t know she saw the deep purple bruise—a bruise that should’ve been easy to hide.
Did he think she’d forgotten the nights he showed up on her back porch, asking to sleep in her dad’s old garden shed so no one would find out the truth about his own father?
It had been years now since that started, but she would never, ever forget. How many times had she noticed him wincing when he moved wrong, accidentally irritating whatever injury had been inflicted upon him? He didn’t talk about it, but she knew the truth.
She saw that boy even still, every time she looked in his eyes.
“I think we could be really great together,” he said.
She couldn’t stop the slow smile from creeping across her face. “Okay.”
His eyes widened. “Yeah?”
She nodded. “Why not?”
Josh grinned. “Awesome. We’ll do it Friday.” His face went pale. “I mean, we’ll go out Friday.”
Her face flushed. “I knew what you meant.”
He picked her up on Friday in that old black Mustang and drove her to Capri, a restaurant with menus that weren’t made out of paper. He opened doors for her and bravely held her hand as they left dinner, something that hadn’t seemed as easy as she would’ve expected for someone who seemed as experienced as him. After they ate, they went for a walk on the boardwalk, and he didn’t let go of her hand once.
“I don’t know how I feel about this, Josh,” she finally said.
“About what?”
She stopped walking, a full moon spilling light onto the boardwalk, and faced him. “I don’t want things to change between us. We’ve been friends for so long. This is . . . different.” Would she miss their easy-going conversations? Would he still confide in her when things were bad at home? Would he still tease her when she was upset over a B?
He took a step toward her. “Different can be good.”
At his nearness, and because of the look in his eyes, she felt something inside her turn. She pressed her lips together and swallowed. “But I don’t want to lose what we have.”
He reached out and put his hand on her cheek. “You won’t. You’re just trading it for something better.”
Another step toward her.
Her stomach wobbled and her breath caught in her throat. This was Josh—her Josh—so why was she nervous?
Maybe because her Josh had turned into a hard-bodied brooder, disastrously good-looking and teetering on the edge of trouble.
Everything about him excited her.
But she was Carly Collins—the girl who made straight A’s and never stepped off the straight and narrow.
He took her face in his hands and searched her eyes with such intensity, her stomach turned over. “I have a feeling about us, Carly.”
“Oh really?” She tried to keep her tone light, flirtatious even, but her heart raced so fast she was sure everything she said sounded ridiculous.
“A good feeling.” As he smiled, his eyes dipped to her mouth. He leaned in closer, and his lips grazed over hers—the softest, sweetest kiss she could’ve imagined.
He pulled back and searched her eyes, as if waiting for her reaction.
In response, she stood up on her tiptoes and found his lips again, kissing him not softly nor tenderly, but with a kind of urgency she hadn’t planned on.
A few minutes later, she pulled away.
“What’s wrong?”
She leveled his gaze with hers. “Are you sure about this, Josh? I mean—I’m not exactly your type.”
He grinned. “I don’t have a type, Carly. I only ever wanted to be with you.”
How long had he felt this way and how was it possible she hadn’t known this before? Josh had only dated girls who were all the exact opposite of Carly—would he wake up tomorrow and realize he’d lost his mind for a little while?
He picked up her hand and placed a kiss at the center of her palm. “I would do anything for you, Carly Collins. And that’ll be true until the day I die.”
Sitting here now, quietly zoning out in the passenger seat of a much nicer vehicle than that old Mustang, Carly couldn’t shake the memories of Josh’s kiss, his piercing gaze, his innocent promise.
She knew better now. She knew things didn’t work out the way you wanted them to and people didn’t always hold up their end of a deal.
But a very small part of her wished she knew neither of those things, because once upon a time, she and Josh had, in fact, been really, really great together.
“You okay?”
She glanced up and found him looking at her. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
“You’re quiet.”
She tossed a look over her shoulder and found Jaden clicking around on his phone, oblivious. “I’m fine.”
He reached over and squeezed her hand and for the first time in a very long time, a tingle worked its way through her body.
Slowly, she pulled her hand away and focused again on the buildings passing by out the window. One thing she could not take was Josh’s comfort.
There was far too much history between them. Far too many promises that weren’t kept and wounds that hadn’t mended.
And that’s what she needed to focus on.
She’d let him pay for this month of their life because he’d missed so many previous months, and then, once Jaden was on the mend, she’d welcome a life that was back to the way it was before Josh showed up in Jaden’s hospital room only days before.
A life without memories that invaded her mind without
permission.
That’s what she needed most of all.
14
Once Jaden’s surgery had been scheduled, Grady and Quinn graciously moved up the date of their engagement party, knowing it would be much more difficult for her and Jaden to attend in the few weeks after his procedure.
It was so thoughtful of her sister, but if she was honest, Carly didn’t feel much like going out tonight. She’d finished her final day of work before her Josh-imposed vacation, something Dara hadn’t been particularly happy about, and she kind of wanted to go home, change into something comfortable and watch Netflix.
This was becoming a trend. Maybe because she’d gotten comfortable with her life the way it had been? Why was everything so complicated now?
Instead, she was curling her hair and slipping into a red cocktail dress and wondering why she’d asked David to go with her to the party.
Maybe it had been a moment of weakness, of not wanting to show up dateless to her little sister’s engagement party. Or maybe she wanted to prove to herself that Josh did not have a monopoly on her heart.
But now, given the nerves dancing around in her belly, she wondered if she’d made a mistake.
Quinn and Grady seemed to be fast-tracking their wedding plans, which didn’t really surprise Carly. Quinn had told her they simply saw no reason for a long engagement.
“It’s like Billy Crystal says in When Harry Met Sally,” she’d said. “When you find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with—”
“You want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible,” Carly cut in. “I know.”
Quinn shook her head. “You’re so cynical, big sister.”
Carly rolled her eyes. If Quinn had lived Carly’s life, she’d understand.
“Don’t do that,” Quinn said. “Maybe this doctor is the one.”
The one. The elusive one. Carly didn’t believe that there was one person out there for everyone—not anymore. Maybe once upon a time she’d been that naïve, but life had taught her that some people are simply made to be alone.
She just never thought she would be one of them.
Just One Kiss: A Harbor Pointe Novel Page 11