They were quiet for a tense pause.
“You can’t stay there,” Carly said.
Josh waited for her attention. “I can handle it. But nobody can know, especially your dad.”
Her dad was the sheriff’s deputy. Of course Josh didn’t want him to know.
“Promise me you won’t say anything, Carly.” Josh forced her to look at him.
She didn’t respond.
“Carly . . .”
“I promise,” she finally said, though she wondered if crossies counted. She couldn’t imagine keeping this secret any longer.
“I don’t need them anymore,” he said. “Maybe I should just leave.”
“You don’t mean that.”
He looked at her. “I do too. I don’t have a family anymore—not after tonight.”
She wrapped an arm around him and watched as he angrily wiped his tears away. “I can be your family now.”
Now, looking at Josh across the waiting room, she could see the same trace of fear flashing in his eyes. It was much more subtle than it had been that night, but it was unmistakable, at least to her.
Carly hadn’t completely kept the promise she’d made that night. Twice she tried to tell her dad the truth about Josh’s father, but both times, Gus told her that his buddy Jim Dixon had to lay down the law with his son because his son was making bad choices. Tough love and all that.
“I’ve heard all about it, Carly, and I have to say, if Josh was my son, I’d take a heavy hand to his backside myself.”
“This isn’t discipline, Dad,” she’d said. “It’s abuse.”
“Carly, you’re overreacting,” he said. “I know Jim myself, and I know how much it weighs on him that his son is into so much trouble. He’s doing the best he can.”
Now, here in the waiting room, Josh stiffened, weariness washing across his face. His jaw twitched as he watched his parents stroll into the room like they belonged there. He didn’t get up to meet them. He didn’t say hello.
Carly drilled him with her glare, but he refused to look at her.
An awkward tension filled the room.
When nobody moved to greet the Dixons, Carly’s father filled in the gap. Probably saw rudeness as another one of Josh’s shortcomings.
“Jim, Gloria,” Gus said warmly, “good of you to come.”
Jim stood tall and thick, wide like a freight train. Josh, by comparison, was muscular and athletic, but not quite as solid as his dad. Even now, Carly had to wonder if the son had a chance at overtaking the father.
“We weren’t sure Josh would stick around, so we wanted to be here for Jaden,” Jim said loudly. His laugh rippled through the room with no place to land.
Gus looked flustered, but he quickly recovered. “We’re all just waiting now. Grady went to get some coffee. You want me to have him get you some?”
Jim lifted a hand with a quick shake of his head. “We’re fine, but thanks.”
Gus nodded, then took a step back as Jim locked eyes onto Josh like a hunter in the wild.
Carly watched as Josh slowly stood, as if waiting for a heavy blow. He started walking, and for a second she thought he might actually speak to his parents, but he bolted out the door without so much as a word.
Confusion crisscrossed the room, and Gloria quickly piped up. “He’s just so nervous this morning,” she said, as if she knew anything about Josh.
“Is he okay?” Quinn kept her voice low.
Carly glanced at her. “I’m not sure.”
“Go see.”
Carly didn’t want to care. She didn’t want to think about how any of this was affecting Josh when it was so clearly destroying her. She wanted to wallow and figure out how to put everything back together once Jaden was out of surgery. She needed a plan of attack. A checklist. Something she could control.
Emotions were messy and feelings tipped her off-kilter, and ever since Josh had returned, she’d been having all the feelings and fighting all the emotions.
For some perplexing reason, her heart had gone back to high school, and she could only think of the boy who’d slept in the garden shed that night and so many other nights before and after.
Scared. Confused. Devastated. Injured.
That boy had needed her. Did he still?
The pager buzzed.
Surgery has started. Jaden is doing well.
She read the update aloud, then sat for several more minutes, turning over options in her mind.
“Go,” Quinn said. “It’s okay.”
Carly quietly slipped into the hallway, leaving her dad to make pleasant conversation with Jim and Gloria Dixon. She clung to the pager, and for a moment she wished everyone who’d come to show their support would show it by leaving them alone.
Of course she didn’t mean it, she was so thankful for her family—but she didn’t want any of them to see how scared she was.
And she definitely didn’t want any of them to notice the web of confusion in her eyes every time she looked at Josh.
She walked down the hallway to an atrium where she spotted him staring out the window overlooking the lake. The atrium was all glass, and the sunshine poured in, filling the space with light.
What did she say? She couldn’t tell him she was a ball of confusion. She couldn’t tell him that the second she’d closed the door after he left that morning, she’d slid to the ground and cried for five minutes straight.
And she certainly couldn’t tell him that his prayer had nicked the lining around her heart, giving her anger a place to escape.
She knew Josh. She needed to remember that. He was a man who couldn’t stick. A man who ran. A man she could not rely on.
People didn’t change, no matter how much you wanted them to. Her mother had left them and never returned. She went off and found herself a new family and a new life without so much as a glance in the rearview mirror.
And yet . . . was it wrong to hope?
She shoved the thought aside.
He didn’t move when she approached. He didn’t move when she slid into the spot right next to him. He didn’t move when she let out a tense breath, inadvertently fogging up the window.
Was he off in another world? Maybe a world where he was a kid hiding bruises and making up reasons he couldn’t participate in gym class?
What happened to you?
She stared out the window, looking out across the lake, gaze landing on a brightly colored sailboat a little way from the shore.
Her mind spun, searching for something to say. Her relationship with Josh was tenuous, but she was the one who knew the truth about Josh’s past. She was the one who knew that he wasn’t simply an ungrateful son who didn’t respect his parents.
Regardless of what anger she still carried toward Josh, she didn’t wish this kind of pain on him.
Be careful.
The words rang out in her head like a warning shot, and she swatted them away, inching toward Josh.
Still, he didn’t move, didn’t even acknowledge she was there.
Slowly, unsteadily, she slid her hand into his, uncertain if he would respond. Seconds ticked by and she wondered if she’d made a mistake. Maybe he really did want to be alone. Maybe she should go back to the waiting room and let him stew out here by himself.
But then his hand tightened around hers as if to say, Don’t go.
And it sent a sizzle straight through her spine.
As was often the case all those years ago, Josh said nothing. She said nothing. They simply stood in silence, together, both of them wishing things were different.
21
“Can I show you something?” Carly asked.
He didn’t look at her. Couldn’t. She knew too much.
“Come on. It’s not doing either of us any good to sit around here.” She gave his hand a tug toward the elevator. When he followed, she let go.
He felt the absence of her skin on his instantly.
She pushed the Up button on the elevator and waited.
“Where are we going?” he asked, wishing he wasn’t depressing and morose at the moment. He’d vowed to be strong for her, but here he was, anything but.
She tossed him a sideways glance. “You’ll see.”
The elevator took them up, and when the doors opened they were in a glass atrium on the roof.
“A few years ago, someone donated a lot of money to the hospital.” Carly exited the elevator, pushed open the atrium door and drew in a deep breath.
He followed her out onto the roof.
“It’s a prayer garden,” she said.
Josh stood at the end of a path and an indescribable peace washed over him, the kind he hadn’t felt in years.
“Think of all the people who’ve come up here to pray,” she said. “We’re just standing in the midst of all of it.”
The path stretched out in front of him, brick pavers set into pea gravel, and on either side were plants and flowers neatly arranged for the most visually stunning display. Small stone benches lined the path and also had been strategically placed for maximum privacy, hidden in small alcoves surrounded by bushes. Up ahead was a bronze statue of Jesus surrounded by children.
“It’s my favorite spot in the hospital,” she said.
“You come here to pray?”
She shrugged. “Don’t do as much of that as I should.”
He followed her out onto the brick pavers.
“Jaden, though, he prays a lot,” she said. “At least he did. I don’t know how all of this is affecting his faith.”
Josh had wondered that too. “He’s pretty solid.”
She stopped and looked at him. “But he’s never faced anything like this. What if . . . ?” Her voice trailed off, the unasked question lingering.
He wanted to wrap his arms around her and tell her everything was going to be okay. Wanted to be the source of strength she needed right now, but something stopped him.
“What if what?”
She turned away. “What if Dr. Roby is right? What if he can’t ski after this?”
“I thought we were waiting until we hear back from the swimmer. I’m not giving up on this, Carly.”
“You might not be, but everyone else is.”
“What are you talking about?”
She took her phone out, clicked it open and scrolled. “This.” She handed him the phone. Josh read the headline of an article in the Harbor Pointe Gazette.
He skimmed the article, a few keywords jumping out at him. Career-ending heart condition. Injured players can’t compete. Don’t want to risk further injury. Won’t be a part of the team this year.
“They interviewed Dr. Roby,” Carly said. “Of course he said nothing specifically about Jaden, but he had plenty to say about Long QT.”
His blood curdled. “They’re already counting him out?”
Carly looked away. “No coach is going to go against the doctor’s advice.”
“Don’t these reporters do any of their own research? One Google search and I knew there were conflicting ideas about this.”
Carly took the phone back and stuck it in her pocket. “His coach is new this year. Doesn’t even know Jaden yet. But he’s got his mind made up.”
“Well, that’s not going to happen,” Josh said. “He’s not sitting out next year. Not if it’s safe anyway.”
A tight line of worry stretched across Carly’s forehead.
“I’ll take care of it,” he said, thankful for something to focus on—something that gave him a hint of purpose.
He turned back toward the elevators, leaving her standing there at the center of a prayer garden, but before he hit the button he turned back to find her eyes intent on him.
In another time, he might’ve walked straight back to her, folded her into his arms and kissed her senseless. Instead, he gave her a resolute nod, pushed the button and got into the open elevator without another word.
Josh hadn’t been in Harbor Pointe High School for years, but if there was ever a reason to go back, this was it.
The new coach of Jaden’s high school ski team didn’t have all the facts, but that hadn’t stopped him from making a decision that would severely affect Jaden’s recovery.
Josh strolled into the main office and found a heavyset woman with dark hair cut severely at her chin sitting behind the desk. She glanced up and her eyes widened at the sight of him. “Good morning, handsome.” She smiled. “Can I help you?”
“Here to see the ski coach. A guy named—”
“Ted Myers,” she interrupted. “It’s summer around here. Most of the teachers and coaches aren’t keeping regular office hours. But I can give him a message.”
“Do you have a number for him or something?” Josh asked.
“I’m sorry, sir, I can’t give out that information.”
The door to the office swung open and Cole strolled in. The woman behind the counter stood. “Hello there, Coach Turner. Been hearing great things about your team this year. And about you.”
Josh did a slow turn toward Cole, doing nothing to hide his amusement at this woman’s blatant admiration for his friend.
“Thanks, Joni. They’re shaping up,” Cole said. He stuck a hand out toward Josh. “Saw you through the window. Shouldn’t you be at the hospital?”
Josh shook his friend’s hand and glanced back at Joni, who clearly only had eyes for Cole. “Got a bone to pick with the ski coach.”
“The article?”
Josh nodded toward the door and Cole tipped his ball cap toward Joni. “See ya later,” he said, following Josh out into the hallway.
“What do you know about this guy?” Josh asked.
“Nothing,” Cole said. “He’s new.”
“I don’t know much, but I know Jaden’s pretty good on the slopes. How can he just write the kid off without any facts?”
“Calm down, slugger,” Cole said. “Nobody’s writing anyone off.”
“The article said the coach isn’t relying on Jaden to get the team where they need to go this year because with his current medical condition, it is unlikely the former phenom will ever be able to compete again.”
“Did you memorize it?”
“Look, the guy doesn’t have all the facts. I’ve done a lot of research, and there are lots of athletes competing with Jaden’s condition.”
“The doctor said—”
“Doctors can be wrong. Even good ones.” Josh shoved his hands in his pockets and caught a glimpse of Joni, inside the office, craning her neck for a better look at Cole. “What’s her story?”
Cole glanced at her then back at Josh, moving him farther down the hall and out of Joni’s line of sight. “She’s got a crush. So much worse now that Gemma left and I stopped wearing my wedding ring.”
“I think it’s cute,” Josh teased.
Cole rolled his eyes.
“I just want to have a little chat with Ted. Do you know where he lives?”
“That’s a bad idea,” Cole said. “Coaches hate that stuff. Just wait and see how it all plays out.”
“Look, I’m sitting over in that hospital staring at the wall. I need to do something. And Jaden needs a coach who believes he’ll be strong enough to compete this year.”
“It’s months away, dude,” Cole said. “There’s time for all that.”
“Just tell me where to find the guy, would ya? I just want to explain a few things that the doctor left out.”
“He’s in the athletic office,” Cole said after a long pause.
“Now?”
“Yeah, we have a fundraising meeting.”
“Why didn’t you say so?”
“Because you look like you’re about to do something stupid,” Cole said.
“I just want to talk to the guy—give me some credit.” He turned on his heel and walked down the hall toward the gym, where the athletic director’s office was.
Josh followed Cole into a small room where three men were seated, one behind a desk. That one stood as soon as they passed through the door.
“Turner,” he said. “Good practice this morning?”
“Yes, sir,” Cole said. “Boys are strong this year.”
“Strong enough for a state title?”
“Think maybe so, sir,” Cole said.
The man behind the desk looked at Josh.
“JR, you remember Josh Dixon.”
“Josh Dixon—as I live and breathe.” JR stuck his hand out toward Josh, then looked at the other guys in the room. “One of the best receivers I’ve ever seen, this guy.”
JR Houston had been a year ahead of Josh and Cole in high school—the quarterback they all looked up to.
“Josh, this is Bilby and Ted.” Cole motioned toward the other two guys in the room.
“What brings you back here?” JR asked.
“My kid’s having surgery today,” Josh said. “Came to talk to the ski coach.” He looked at Ted. “That’s you?”
Ted stood. “It is.”
“You gave an interview in the newspaper. Said Jaden wouldn’t be reliable this year—that he wouldn’t be strong enough to play.”
“With a heart condition?” Ted laughed. “Is that far-fetched?”
“You don’t know my son,” Josh said. “Or his condition.”
Ted’s eyes narrowed. “The doctor was pretty clear.”
“The doctor was wrong.” Josh didn’t know that for sure, but at the moment, it didn’t matter. He’d decided it was true.
“Josh just wants to make sure you’ll give him a fair shake,” Cole said. “Jaden’s our strongest skier by a long shot.”
“Oh, I know all about Jaden,” Ted said. “Been training with Grady Benson.”
“That’s right.”
“He’s a family member or something? Isn’t that right?”
“He’s an Olympic gold medalist,” Josh said.
“Doesn’t matter a bit to me,” Ted said. “When we start practice, all the guys are the same. They all have to prove themselves to earn their spot.”
“Well, telling the newspaper a bunch of garbage about Jaden’s condition isn’t going to do much for his morale, Ted,” Josh said. “All I’m asking is you stop talking to reporters when you don’t have the first clue what you’re talking about.”
Just One Kiss: A Harbor Pointe Novel Page 17