“Now, Josh.” JR stuck out his hand as if to calm him down.
“I had a long conversation with Dr. Roby—”.
“Look, Coach,” Josh cut in, “skiing is the most important thing in Jaden’s life. He plans to get back to it once he’s recovered—and quotes like the ones you gave the paper, they aren’t going to help. That’s all I’m saying.”
“That’s fair.” Ted crossed his arms over his chest. “But the doctor made it clear—”
“He’s not the only doctor with an opinion.”
“I understand,” Ted said. “In that case, I hope Jaden makes a full recovery.”
“He will.”
But even as he said it, his resolve wavered and an unwanted thought filtered through his mind. What if he doesn’t?
“We’ll keep him in our prayers, Josh,” JR said, his words meant to dismiss Josh.
“And keep him out of the newspapers.” Josh shot a pointed look at Ted.
Cole clapped a hand on Josh’s shoulder. “I’ll walk Josh out and be right back, fellas.”
Josh reluctantly left the office.
“What was that?” Cole asked when they were in the hallway.
“What was what?”
“You’re losing it, man.”
Josh pushed his hands over his face and into his hair. “I hate this. I can’t fix it. I can’t do anything to help.”
Cole stood in front of him. “Go back to the hospital and be there for your kid. That’s what you can do.”
Josh looked away. “He’s gonna be okay, right?”
Emotion registered on Cole’s face. It was stupid to ask. His friend had even less information than Josh did.
“I hope so, man,” Cole said.
Yeah, but right now Josh needed more than empty wishes. He needed to offer Carly and Jaden more than that.
He pushed through the front doors of the high school and out into the parking lot, wondering why God allowed bad things to happen to kids like Jaden—kids who believed so strongly that he was good.
And wondering if he’d ever get used to feeling as helpless as he felt right now.
22
Carly’s phone rang, disrupting the quiet of the hospital waiting room.
She saw a number registered to East Lansing.
Michigan State.
“Hello?”
“Mrs. Collins?” A female voice on the other side. “It’s Elizabeth Maney. You emailed me.”
“Yes, hi, Elizabeth. Thank you for calling.”
“Is this an okay time?”
“I’m in the waiting room. Jaden’s in surgery now.”
“Oh,” she said. “I can call back.”
“No,” Carly said, strolling out into the hallway. “I need the distraction.”
She pushed the Up button on the elevator.
“I wanted to call and see how I could help put your mind at ease,” Elizabeth said—God bless her.
Carly explained the situation, including Dr. Roby’s advice that Jaden give up skiing completely. “I’m sure you can relate to how devastating that would be for him.”
“I can,” she said. “And I think things have changed in recent years. Lots of athletes with Long QT are still competing, most with ICDs.”
Carly’s heart turned a circle.
“They’ve done numerous studies and found that it’s perfectly safe,” Elizabeth said. “Otherwise—believe me—my parents would not let me keep swimming.” She laughed. “Why don’t I text you the name of my doctor? Just so you can get a second opinion?”
A second opinion. An opinion that went against one of the top doctors in the hospital where she worked. Carly’s heart fluttered. She should accept what Dr. Roby said—he could easily shift his weight and get her promoted (or not).
But Jaden meant more to her than any job.
“I’d appreciate that,” she told Elizabeth.
They chatted a few more minutes about Elizabeth’s condition and recovery and then Carly hung up the phone. Seconds later Elizabeth shared her doctor’s contact information with Carly via text. Seconds after that, another text came in: Let me know when Jaden’s back on the slopes. I’d love to meet him and you.
Well, that sealed it. Elizabeth Maney was Carly’s favorite person in the world.
Because she had single-handedly filled Carly with something she was greatly lacking—hope.
Carly tried calling Josh, but there was no answer.
Where was he?
His voicemail clicked on. “Josh, I just got a page. He’s done. The surgery is finished. He’ll be waking up soon, and you promised him you’d be there.” She paused. “Where’d you go?”
She sat in a small room alone, waiting for the surgeon to come in and give her a full report.
She texted Josh: Hurry up and get back here, Josh. I’m getting ready to meet with the surgeon.
Moments later, the door opened and Dr. Roby walked in. He smiled. “Carly.” He shook her hand. “He did great.”
Carly exhaled all the fear and worry she’d been holding inside, which was more than she’d realized. “Oh, that’s so good to hear.”
“Everything went the way it was supposed to. The device has been implanted, and that should prevent any other episodes. It’ll keep his heart on track.”
“And what are the risks now? I read about implanted devices malfunctioning?”
The doctor nodded. “It does happen, but it’s rare. We’ll go over all of that with him, make sure he knows what’s normal—and what’s not.”
She paused. “Dr. Roby, I’ve been doing some research.” She left out the part about it being on the internet. Doctors hated that. “I’ve just spoken with a college swimmer from MSU. She has the same condition and device that Jaden has, but she’s still swimming.”
His brow furrowed. “That’s not advisable.”
“Well, I’ve read several articles and the consensus seems to be that it’s perfectly safe for athletes with ICDs to return to their sport.”
Dr. Roby bristled. “Miss Collins, I understand this is difficult for Jaden—and for you—”
“No, sir, it’s not difficult. It’s devastating.” Carly hugged her purse to her chest. “You don’t understand what skiing means to my son. Or how it’s changed his life.”
“But I do understand that he has a unique condition,” the doctor said. “In my expert opinion, Jaden should find something less strenuous to be passionate about.” He’d stressed the words expert opinion so slightly she almost didn’t hear it. It was pointless. He had his mind made up.
She stood. “Can I see him?”
“Yes,” Dr. Roby said coolly. “He’s in recovery now. The nurse will take you down. I’ll be by to check on him in the morning.” He walked away.
Carly couldn’t be certain, but if she had to guess she’d say all her questions had just landed her at the bottom of the candidate pool for the unit manager position.
She pulled out her phone. No new messages.
Same old Josh.
A frizzy-haired nurse Carly didn’t know led her to a large room that had been sectioned off by curtains. “He’s just in here.” She pulled the curtain back and revealed Carly’s still-asleep son on a bed next to a technician who was running some post-op tests.
The tech’s name was Aaron, and Carly had met him a few times. He looked up at her and smiled. “Heard we got to work on your son today.”
“How’s he doing?”
“He’s doing really well,” Aaron said. “He’s going to be groggy, maybe a little nauseous. You know the drill.”
She did. She knew some people came out of surgery nauseous and vomiting while others felt tired and run down. She prayed Jaden wouldn’t be sick, that he’d bounce back like a champ, and—one more time for good measure—that his father would show up.
He’d promised.
Josh, you promised.
“You can talk to him if you want to,” Aaron said.
She set her bag down and took Jaden’s hand. Her
son lay limply under the covers, slack-jawed and breathing heavily. She perched on the edge of the bed.
“Jaden?”
She almost didn’t want to wake him—she wanted to give Josh more time to come through. He’d done everything he’d said he would do the last few weeks—why now, on the most important day they’d had in years, had he chosen to go MIA?
But Jaden stirred. His eyes dragged open and he pulled in a breath. “Hey.”
“Hey, kiddo,” Carly said with a smile.
Jaden pressed his lips together and made a smacking noise with his mouth. “So dry.”
“That’s normal, buddy,” Aaron said. He clicked around on a machine. “How are you feeling otherwise?”
Jaden closed his eyes. “Nauseous.”
Aaron looked at Carly. “We’ll get him something for that.”
She nodded, then turned her attention back to her son. “You did great, Jay. Dr. Roby said everything went just like it was supposed to.”
“Throat’s sore.”
Aaron nodded. “From the tube. It’ll feel raw for a little while.”
Jaden nodded slowly, letting them know he’d heard. “Where’s Dad?”
Carly’s own mouth went dry then. Years of practice should’ve given her plenty of excuses for where her ex was in that moment, yet she had nothing. No good reason for him to be missing.
She thought back to the way he’d reacted when his parents had shown up in the waiting room. Had something happened to set him off?
Even still, it shouldn’t have been enough to make him disappear.
Why do you always leave when we need you most?
“He, um, he left for a bit,” Carly said.
Jaden’s eyes fluttered open. “Where?”
She squeezed his hand. “Why don’t we concentrate on you?”
“Is he gone?”
What was she supposed to say? She didn’t know. He’d seen the article and taken off. Carly could only imagine where he’d gone.
“Mom?”
Her eyes clouded. “I’m not sure.”
Jaden swallowed slowly. “Something must’ve happened.”
She couldn’t mention the article—it would upset Jaden to know his new coach had no faith in him at all.
His eyes were closed, but a tear slid down Jaden’s cheek. A lump expanded in her throat at the sight of it, and in that moment, she realized it was back—the ball of anger she’d been carrying around since the day Josh had walked out of their lives.
She wasn’t going to give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he’d had it out with his father. Maybe he was upset about the circumstances. Maybe he ran for coffee and got sidetracked.
But he’d made a promise to their son.
And he broke it.
And that was the bottom line.
“I’ve got about all I need here,” Aaron said. “We’re going to take him up to his room now. I’d recommend giving him a little time before visitors show up.”
She nodded. Too much commotion wouldn’t be good for him.
And she could honestly use the peace and quiet herself.
She sent a quick text to her family: He’s awake and doing well. Doctor wants to let him recover for a few hours before he has visitors. I can call when you can all come back to see him.
Quinn texted back: Okay, we’ll head out for a little while, but let us know if you need anything.
How about an ex who did what he said he was going to do?
Will do.
Josh returned to the hospital. He wished he had better news after confronting the coach, but all he had was the hope that the man would keep his mouth shut and give Jaden a fair shake.
Maybe it would be enough to ease Carly’s worried mind.
He took his key fob from the drink holder and picked up his phone, which had been surprisingly silent all morning.
He clicked it on.
Oh no.
He had two missed calls from Carly, a voicemail and three text messages. He scanned these quickly, eyes settling on the last one: Jaden’s asking for you. Are you coming back soon?
He closed his eyes and let out a heavy sigh. He’d put his phone on silent that morning at the hospital and forgotten to take it off.
He’d promised he’d be there when the kid woke up—he never should’ve left. He’d let them down again. Sure, it was a small thing, but to Carly, it was proof that he hadn’t changed.
Even though he had. Even though he’d been trying to do something for Jaden. Would she understand that?
He exited the car and strode toward the front door.
Only one way to find out.
23
Carly was mad. And no matter what Josh said, she was going to stay that way.
She didn’t care what he’d gone out to do—whatever it was could’ve waited until after Jaden had woken up.
There had been fleeting moments in which she wondered if they could be some cobbled-together version of a family again.
But this? Maybe it was the wake-up call she needed. The reminder that Josh had some serious flaws.
These were the thoughts racing through her mind when the door opened and Josh walked into the room. He looked windblown and terrified.
She said nothing.
He glanced at Jaden, who’d just fallen back to sleep, the anesthesia not yet out of his system. “How’s he doing?”
A pile of snarky comebacks pelted her mind.
You’d know if you’d bothered to stick around being the gist of all of them.
She must’ve waited too long to reply because he turned toward her then. “Carly?” He sat on the sofa bed next to her chair. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t here.”
She stared at him, waiting for an explanation that didn’t come. Her skin tingled, the way it always did when she was angry or anxious or frustrated. She bet her neck was all splotchy too, a tattletale to her emotions.
She never could hide her feelings from him.
He sighed, then raked a hand through his hair. “It was stupid. I shouldn’t have left. I just wanted to do something—to fix something.”
“Where did you go?”
But before he could respond, Jaden stirred, drawing their attention.
Carly rushed to his side. “Hey, kiddo.”
Jaden took a second to swallow, then opened his eyes. Josh now stood a few inches behind her, and Jaden’s eyes focused on his father. Carly braced herself for the anger their son was likely feeling, and prepared to tell Josh to go. He was upsetting Jaden and right now, they needed to do everything they could to make sure their son didn’t have extra stress.
But Jaden didn’t lash out. He didn’t even frown. A smile crawled across his tired face. “Dad.”
Carly stiffened as Josh moved closer and took Jaden’s outstretched hand. “I’m here, kid,” he said.
So am I, she wanted to say. And I have been for sixteen years.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t here when you woke up,” Josh said.
Surely Jaden wasn’t going to buy this apologetic father act.
But Jaden did buy it. He flicked the air as if to wave the whole idea of an apology away. “Glad you’re here now.”
And that was it. No punishment. No making his father pay for disappointing him.
Carly pressed her lips together to keep from saying something she would regret. This was about Jaden, and so far, her son seemed perfectly fine with Josh’s broken promise.
She shifted away from Josh, who let go of Jaden’s hand. “Do you need anything to eat or drink? Can I do anything for you?”
He looked so earnest, as if he really wanted to help, but Carly reminded herself that he could not be trusted.
Trusting him had been one of her life’s greatest mistakes.
A barrage of visitors began, including her family, her father’s friends, and—thankfully—several members of the high school ski team.
She was so grateful to see so many people there to love on her son, and then Ian Dobson brought up the newspa
per article and Carly’s gratitude came to a screeching halt.
“You’ll show that lame Coach Myers, Jay, don’t even worry about it,” Ian said. “We all know you’re gonna make a comeback.”
“What are you talking about?” Jaden asked.
“You know, the article. So dumb. That guy hasn’t even seen you ski yet.”
Jaden frowned, then looked at Carly, who searched her mind for something productive to say.
“I talked to the coach today,” Josh said.
He did?
“Explained a little bit about your condition. He’s hoping you make a full recovery.”
“He was just going off what your doctor said anyway,” Ian said. “Like, that you’re done skiing or whatever.”
“That’s not exactly what the doctor said, Ian—” Josh started to say, but Jaden quickly interrupted.
“My doctor told Coach Myers I can’t ski?” Jaden looked like someone had punched him in the gut. “So now Coach thinks I’m, like, an invalid?”
“Who cares what he thinks?” Ian said, then called the coach a name.
“Language,” Josh said. “He’s still your coach, so give the guy some respect.”
Carly couldn’t help but think it was strange to hear Josh doling out fatherly advice. Even stranger that she agreed with it.
But the damage had been done. It didn’t matter that the doctor hadn’t gone into detail about Jaden. It was enough that he’d made his expert opinion about Long QT very well known.
Jaden’s face had clouded over and his entire mood had changed.
“Hey, Ian, I think maybe we need to let Jaden get some rest,” Carly said kindly.
“Sure thing, Mrs. C.”
She didn’t bother explaining that “Missus” was what you called married women. She was pretty sure Ian didn’t care.
He left, and Carly stole a quick look at Josh, who appeared to be just as worried as she was.
“Look, Jaden,” she said, “the coach doesn’t know much about your condition. Let’s not jump to any conclusions.”
“You read the article, right?” Jaden’s eyes drilled into her.
She nodded.
“They said I’m done?”
“It doesn’t matter, kid,” Carly said. “I know you’ve been reading up on this. And your dad and I have been doing some research on our own too.”
Just One Kiss: A Harbor Pointe Novel Page 18