Just One Kiss: A Harbor Pointe Novel

by Courtney Walsh

  He’d gotten his one kiss. She was mortified to think he’d almost convinced her he was right.

  She told herself to think about what had happened after the kiss, the fighting, the harsh words they’d spoken, but the memories of his soft, full lips kissing her with such urgency kept creeping in.

  “You’re coming to Dad’s,” Quinn said.

  Carly held back a groan. “I have a lot to do, Q.”

  “I don’t care. You can’t keep avoiding family dinner.”

  “Dad’s just going to lecture me.”

  Quinn raised a brow. “And why would he need to do that?”

  “He doesn’t.” Carly slung her purse over her shoulder as Beverly wrapped an arm around Quinn’s.

  “You girls ready for ham and potatoes?”

  “I’m ready,” Jaden said from behind his mother. “I’m starving.”

  Beverly smiled, then reached over and squeezed Carly’s hand. “It’ll be good to have the whole family together again.”

  Carly sighed as the older woman walked away.

  “Now you have to come,” Quinn said.

  Carly wished she had Quinn’s easy-going relationship with their father, but the truth was, she’d been the great Collins disappointment. After their mother left, Gus had raised the girls the best he could, but Carly hadn’t turned out the way she was supposed to. She’d made the kinds of mistakes that publicly humiliated her dad, practically proving he wasn’t fit to raise a teenage daughter on his own.

  She’d embarrassed him, and he was ashamed of her.

  And Carly was ashamed of herself, sometimes even still.

  She’d suffered through weeks and months and years of family dinners, and it never changed. She always left feeling just on the underside of accepted.

  How much worse would it be today—with news of her outburst outside the training center spreading throughout the little town? Not to mention her flushed cheeks over her encounter with Josh last night.

  Nobody even knew about that, but if they found out . . .

  What they must think of her.

  She and Jaden drove in silence until they reached the neighborhood where she and Quinn had grown up.

  She could practically see herself as a child, chasing Josh and some of the other kids down the sidewalk on the way to the park.

  “I invited Dad.” Jaden stared out the window.

  “You what?” She spun sideways and faced her son.

  “He probably can’t make it,” Jaden said. “Said something about going to his own parents’ house today.”

  Carly turned back to the road, aware she was frowning. Why would Josh go to his parents’ house? Her pulse kicked up a notch at the thought. What if Josh did something stupid? She’d always marveled at the fact that he seemed nothing like his own father, and yet, he did have a temper—what if he lost it?

  What if he finally faced all those old demons?

  “What’s wrong?”

  “What?” Carly had absent-mindedly put the car in Park and now stared out the window. “Oh, nothing.”

  “You seem distracted,” Jaden said.

  Carly waved him off. “You know how I feel about Sunday dinner.”

  Jaden rubbed his stomach. “I feel hungry.” He grinned. “I’m going to eat everything.” He exited the car, leaving her sitting alone, conflicted feelings racing through her mind.

  She pulled out her phone and scrolled through her messages, found the last one she’d gotten from Josh—something about Jaden—and started typing.

  Josh, I know things aren’t great between us, but I’m still here if you need to talk.

  She sent it, then looked to see the message had been delivered.

  She waited a few seconds, then typed: Don’t go to your mom and dad’s.

  He didn’t respond, and she didn’t expect him to, but that didn’t stop her from worrying. Just the way he’d reacted to seeing his parents at the hospital had been enough to prove Josh struggled with being back here.

  She closed her eyes and prayed for the man who’d infuriated her and broken her heart. “God, I don’t pretend to know what he’s been through, but keep him from doing anything stupid today.”

  The knock on the window startled her. She turned and found Quinn standing on the opposite side of the window, holding a pie. Carly opened the door and got out.

  “What are you doing out here?” Quinn asked.

  “Nothing,” she said. “Just pulled up.”

  She followed her sister inside, where they found Gus, Beverly, Judge and Calvin standing in the dining room around a beautifully set table. Hellos were exchanged, questions about Jaden’s health were answered, and she did her best to ignore the nagging thoughts about Josh and his parents.

  After dinner, Quinn fetched the apple pie she’d made and Beverly added her famous frosted brownies to the table. Everyone heaped desserts onto their plates, oohing and aahing and discussing the sugar content, the calories and how none of that mattered at Sunday dinner.

  “You’re quiet, Carly,” Beverly said warmly. “You’ve been through so much.” She looked at Jaden. “We’ve missed you.”

  Sometimes Carly wondered if Beverly said all the things their father didn’t say, as if she could parent them by proxy, as if she could lead by example. But if that was true, Gus had never picked up on any of her cues.

  “It’s good to be back,” Carly said, telling herself it wasn’t a lie. The food was good. Did it matter if her insides were spinning?

  “You and Josh get things worked out?” Gus stuck a bite of pie in his mouth and peered at Carly down the table.

  What has he heard?

  Her stomach dropped with a thud. She didn’t want to discuss Josh—not with him. He had strong opinions on Jaden’s father, and it had taken her a long time to convince him to keep them to himself—for the sake of his grandson.

  The image of her body tangled with Josh’s the night before raced through her mind and she forcibly removed it.

  “I’m not sure what you mean,” she said. “Everything’s fine.”

  Jaden had stopped chewing. “Dad wanted to come today, but he had other plans.”

  “Mm-hmm.” Gus shoved another bite in his mouth, and Beverly placed a calming hand on his arm.

  Carly pushed a brownie around her plate with her fork.

  “I’m sure he’s got lots of people to see while he’s here,” Quinn said, obviously trying to keep things from turning awkward, though Carly thought it might be a little late for that.

  Carly looked up and caught the confused expression on Jaden’s face. Was her dad really going to put her son through this? Was it too much to ask for him to keep his opinions of Josh to himself?

  “And just how long is he going to be here?” Gus gave Carly a pointed look.

  “He’s thinking about moving back,” Jaden said.

  Gus let out a wry laugh. “Is that right?”

  Jaden’s face fell. “Yeah. His business is mobile, and he said he wants to be closer to us.”

  “Us?” Gus asked.

  “Me and Mom.” Jaden set his fork down. “What’s the big deal, Gramps? Dad’s just trying to do what’s right.”

  “Is he now? After all these years?” Gus glowered.

  “There’s no expiration date on second chances,” Grady said.

  Wise words from a man who knew a little something on the subject. Still, Carly wasn’t convinced Josh deserved any such thing.

  Gus turned his attention to Carly. “Heard about your little show outside Grady’s training center yesterday.”

  “It wasn’t a show,” Carly said.

  “Gus, please,” Beverly interjected.

  “I heard about it too,” Judge quipped. “Always knew you were a feisty one, Carly Rae.” His laugh boomed, and Grady smiled, but the air hung like a tense cloud above them.

  Once upon a time, the relationship between the two men had been tense at best. Judge had been the reason for Grady’s long stay in Harbor Pointe.


  One might argue that Judge could be to blame for all of Grady’s happiness—Judge certainly thought so.

  “It was a misunderstanding,” Carly said.

  “Oh, we know,” Gus said. “Ruth Nelson told us all about it. She’s very concerned that history might be repeating itself.”

  Carly dropped her fork with a clang. “Why is it any of her business?”

  “It’s not,” Quinn said. “I was there. It wasn’t that big of a deal.”

  “My question, Carly, is why are you getting so worked up over Josh?” Gus eyed Carly with his familiar disapproval.

  “I’m not,” she said.

  “You sure?” he asked. “Seems like you are.”

  “Oh, Gus, leave the girl alone,” Judge said from his end of the table. “You know there’s history there. Some of it is bound to come back up.”

  “Nothing is coming up,” Carly said. “Josh and I are fine. And there’s nothing going on.”

  “So long as you’re sure,” her dad said pointedly. “Remember, people don’t change.”

  “I did,” Grady said quietly.

  Carly glanced up and met her future brother-in-law’s eyes. Quinn reached over and took his hand.

  Grady turned toward Gus. “Because of you.”

  Gus swallowed and took a drink. “That was different.”

  “Why? Because Quinn and I didn’t have history?” Grady glanced at Jaden.

  “This kid loves his dad, and far as I can tell, Josh is doing a good job with him. Maybe we should give him a second chance. Don’t we all deserve that?”

  The words hung in the air and Carly tried to knock them away, but she couldn’t. Did Josh deserve a second chance?

  “He’s my dad, Gramps,” Jaden said. “And he loves my mom.”

  Carly faced Jaden. “What did you say?”

  “He told me. He’s never stopped loving you.”

  Carly’s breath caught in her throat, and she struggled for air. The room seemed to be closing in. Josh had told her the same thing, but she had no idea he’d discussed it with Jaden.

  “And you love him too, so what’s the big deal?” Jaden pushed his chair away from the table. “I’m going out to shoot some hoops.”

  “Be careful,” Carly said.

  “I won’t even break a sweat.”

  “It’s not anyone else’s place to get in the middle of your relationship with Josh,” Quinn said simply. “Not even yours, Dad.”

  “I disagree,” their dad said. “When I see one of my daughters heading for disaster, you better believe I’m going to steer them the other way.”

  Anger welled up inside of Carly, and she thought she might explode. “But how would you even know if it’s a disaster? You don’t even know Josh anymore. You never really did.”

  “I know plenty,” Gus said.

  “Because you’re buddies with his dad?” Carly’s words were as dry and sarcastic as she’d intended them to be.

  “Well, yes, if you must know. Jim has told me stories over the years—two fathers trading battle wounds.”

  “Battle wounds.” Carly threw her napkin over her plate. “That’s rich. If you knew what that man—” She stilled. Josh didn’t want anyone knowing about his father. It wasn’t her place, no matter how her silence made Josh look.

  “That man, what?” her dad asked.

  “Forget it,” she said.

  “I don’t know why you’re defending him,” Dad said. “Clearly you’ve blocked out the pain of the last sixteen years.”

  Carly stood. “My last sixteen years haven’t been all pain, Dad. I got a great kid out of the deal. My life wasn’t ruined, and Josh didn’t destroy me. He made me stronger. He forced me to become the person I was meant to become. I’ve forgiven him for leaving. And if I decided that I love him, I would expect you all to accept that and stop having an opinion about it.” She looked at Beverly. “Thank you for dinner.”

  “Carly, don’t go,” Quinn said.

  She looked at her dad. “Of course you aren’t willing to give Josh a second chance—you haven’t even given your own daughter a second chance. What more can I say? I screwed up. I let you down. I disappointed you. But you can’t hold it against me for the rest of my life.”

  She didn’t expect him to follow her—her dad was too proud for that—but she did hope he’d at least consider what she said.

  Inside the quiet of her Honda, she let out a heavy sigh. She’d been holding that all in for years—why had she chosen today to let it all out?

  She glanced at Jaden as he slid into the passenger seat and found him staring at her, the faintest hint of a smile on his face. Wow, he looked like Josh. Same dark hair. Same strong cheekbones. She’d stopped thinking so years ago, but with Josh back in her life, the similarities were hard to ignore.

  “What are you smiling at?” she asked.

  He held his hands up in mock surrender. “Nothing.”

  She started the car.

  “Except you just totally defended Dad in there.”

  “So?”

  “Told you you still love him.”

  She groaned and pulled away from the curb. “Don’t read anything into it.”

  “You said you forgave him, Ma,” Jaden said.

  “You weren’t supposed to be listening.”

  He shrugged.

  “Besides, I told you that a long time ago.”

  “Yeah, but this time you meant it.”

  Did she? She did a quick gut check and noticed that little ball of anger that she carried with her wasn’t there anymore. How was that possible given her exchange with Josh the night before? They’d left things poorly—not even on speaking terms. How could she even suggest she’d forgiven him? “Just because I don’t want your grandpa talking about your dad in front of you or anyone else doesn’t mean I’m still in love with him.”

  “Yeah, okay.” Jaden stared out the window.

  “Jaden, listen. I know you think your dad is a great guy—and he is, in his own way—but there’s no future for him and me.”

  “You don’t know that.”

  She slowed to a stop in front of a streetlamp. “Yes, I do.”

  “But you said you forgave him, and that’s a huge step, Ma.”

  “I can forgive him without repeating my past mistakes.”

  Jaden scoffed. “So everything you said in there—all that stuff about second chances—?”

  “Was true,” Carly said.

  “But you won’t give Dad one. I get it.”

  “He’s in your life, isn’t he? Isn’t that enough?” Carly stepped on the gas again and turned toward home. “I don’t have to get back together with him in order to prove I’ve forgiven him.”

  “He loves you, Mom,” Jaden said.

  Carly tapped the steering wheel with her thumb. “But sometimes love just isn’t enough.”

  34

  Josh stared at his childhood home, not a trace of nostalgia in his mind.

  His memories of the house were filled with angst. Tiptoeing around his dad. Watching his mom walk on eggshells. Finally getting tired of it as an older teenager and fighting back.

  It occurred to him that you could never tell the truth about what went on inside a home when looking at it from the outside.

  The perfectly manicured yard, the clean porch, the welcome mat under the door—it all suggested something that didn’t exist.

  A happy home.

  He didn’t know why he was here. He hadn’t seen or spoken to his parents since he left the hospital that day. He had words bubbling at the back of his throat. Truth he’d held on to since he was young—was today the day he finally said it all aloud?

  The memory of a day years ago crawled up the back of his brain, begging for attention.

  Hadn’t he proven he was just like his father? Angry. Violent. Ill-tempered?

  Hadn’t he shown that beyond a shadow of a doubt?

  He shoved thoughts of Dylan out of his mind.

  No. That wasn’t who he wa
s. Not anymore anyway. He hadn’t had a violent outburst in years. But the details of that day were still so foggy, floating in the space just outside his memory. And the threat of it had been enough to drive him away for a very long time.

  Robotically, he opened his car door, strode across the street, up the walk and onto the porch. He lifted his hand to knock on the door, but it opened before he could.

  His mother’s face brightened at the sight of him. “Joshua.”

  “Is Dad here?”

  “He’s in the backyard,” she said. “Do you want something to eat? Or some coffee?”

  “No, Mom.”

  “What is it, Joshua?” his mom asked. “You look upset.”

  Josh stuffed his hands in his pockets and studied her, overwhelmed with one thought—get her out.

  “I’ve got money now, Mom.”

  “I know, dear,” she said. “We’re so proud of you.”

  “No, I mean—you don’t have to stay here anymore.”

  Her face fell. “Joshua.” She leaned in closer, lowering her voice. “What are you talking about?”

  “Let’s cut to the part where we stop pretending things are okay,” Josh said.

  She frowned. “Things are fine, Josh. You haven’t been home in ages—everything is fine.”

  “Everything is not fine, Mom,” he said. “He’s still the same controlling, abusive loser he always was. You don’t have to live like this.”

  His mom tossed a glance over her shoulder, as if to check to be sure his father couldn’t hear. “It’s fine, Josh. This is the life I chose.”

  “You’re not safe.”

  “That’s not true. He’s not like that anymore,” she said.

  “Why? Because you do whatever he says?” Josh knew his volume made his mom uncomfortable, but he didn’t care. She needed to understand the seriousness of the situation—how could she not? How could she still, after all that had happened, pretend everything was fine?

  “I don’t.” She smoothed her shirt. “We’ve just learned how to live with each other.”

  “You can’t tell me you’re not scared, Mom,” he said.

  “I’m not scared,” she said simply. “We hardly even argue anymore.”