Drawn Blue Lines: A Carrera Cartel Novel

by Kenborn, Cora

  She chuckled, sinking into the hug. “I had a pretty good teacher.”

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Adriana

  Swallowing the lump in my throat, I turned away from the window, unable to watch any more of the sibling love fest between Brody and his sister. Not that I wasn’t happy for him. I was glad to see him get the closure he needed to stop punishing himself for other peoples’ sins, but I couldn’t help the torrent of conflict running through me.

  I grew up with a brother—at least the man I thought was my brother. We were close as kids. It wasn’t until Esteban died and Manuel became drunk with power that the divide between us grew so wide I could no longer reach him.

  But now I had a real brother. One I’d lose by my own doing no matter what I did.

  Chills scattered down my arms as sweat beaded across my forehead. The fever was back. My body felt like it had been hit by a truck. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could pretend like nothing was wrong.

  “I’ll put you back on top and make sure you live to see it.”

  “Shut up!” I yelled, pressing my hands over my ears.

  “Interesting. Usually women wait until I speak before telling me to shut up.”

  I glanced up to where Val leaned against the door to my room, hands in his pockets, wearing an amused smirk. “Oh, that, I…uh, it…” Pressing the back of my hand against my forehead, I closed my eyes, forcing Ignacio’s voice out of my head while silently praying for the room to stop spinning. “I’m glad you’re here. I have a confession to make.”

  And hope to hell Brody didn’t get to you first.

  “So do I.”

  My revelation died on my tongue, and I stared at him at a complete loss for words.

  Seeing he achieved his desired shock value, he pushed away from the door and sauntered into my room. I watched every step, following every shift of his eyes as they scanned everything from the walls to furniture.

  “This used to be our mother’s room,” he said finally.

  “I know.”

  He raised a curious eyebrow, waiting for me to explain, but I didn’t. It was too late, and I was too tired to explain the memories I shouldn’t have.

  I shrugged. “Just a feeling, I guess.”

  “I put you in here on purpose,” he admitted, running his finger along a thin layer of dust resting on top of the dresser. “I suppose as a test to see how you’d react.”

  “Seems to be a lot of tests lately,” I huffed. When he didn’t respond, I braced my shoulder against the tall bed post and cocked my chin. “Did Brody fail one of your tests?”

  “Actually, Brody passed.”

  Remembering the blood dripping from his nose as he stormed out of the sitting room earlier, I narrowed my eyes. “Your reward system is pretty sadistic.”

  Val let out a hearty laugh. “Brody proved his loyalty tonight by telling me something our father would have beheaded him for.”

  “But not you?”

  “I may be Alejandro Carrera’s son, but I’m not him, Adriana. When the situation calls for it, I can be just as cruel, but unlike him, I have limitations as well as standards. I expect a certain code of conduct from my men, and in turn, I exemplify it. If I’m shown loyalty, I reward it. If I’m betrayed, I show no mercy.”

  “What does this have to do with Brody?”

  He didn’t answer right away. Instead, he took slow, calculated steps designed to taunt and torture until finally, his eyes flickered right in front of me. “He confessed to using your true identity in an attempt to keep Eden away from me.”

  My heart fell to my feet. “He told you that? And he’s still breathing?”

  Pursing his lips, he gave me an unenthusiastic shrug. “I’ve had a long time to process it. I’ve just been waiting for him to grow the balls to face me.”

  I palmed my forehead, my vision going in and out of focus. “Dios mío, ¿qué demonios está pasando?” My God, what the hell is happening? “You knew? All this time, you knew?”

  He had the nerve to look offended. “Why do you seem so surprised? I’m the boss of the most powerful cartel in the world. I own most of Mexico’s officials and half of the politicians in the southeastern United States. Plus, anyone with half a brain knew the minute I left Houston I had half a dozen men watching every move the two of them made.”

  “But you did nothing,” I argued, still not comprehending his logic. “You even made him a top lieutenant. Why?”

  Val’s calm veneer vanished. “Trust me, if he’d touched her, that would’ve been his last breath.” Once the dark cloud passed, he uncoiled. “But Eden came back to me, and besides, how could I blame him? I can’t say I wouldn’t have done the same thing. Love does crazy things to a man, Adriana,” he said, tapping his temple. “Makes him loco en la cabeza.”

  Unbelievable.

  I sank onto the bed, my body feeling like a sack of lead weights. If the whole thing weren’t so tragic, it would’ve been comical. The one thing that forced Brody into this mess, Val knew about all along.

  The bed dipped as Val sat beside me and clasped his hands in his lap. “Plus, how could I kill him when he confessed to being in love with my sister?”

  My head snapped to the side. “He said those words?”

  “Oh, he said a lot more than just those words. But judging by your reaction, they’re words you haven’t heard yet, so I’ll keep them to myself. They’re not mine to tell.”

  He’s in love with me. He loves me.

  “Adriana, we need to talk about Cristiano Vergara.”

  I winced, the words like a sharp knife stabbing into my already severed heart. I had no idea what all he knew, but I had a feeling it edged dangerously close to the truth. “I know, but not now, okay?” I couldn’t sit still. I paced. I wrung my hands, and eventually I ended up right back where I started—by the window where Brody and Leighton were saying their goodbyes. Even from a distance, their embrace looked so genuine, so filled with love and trust that I blurted out, “Do you think we would’ve been like them? You know, if things had been different.”

  Val joined me by the window, watching the siblings before answering. “I’d like to think so. When everything happened to Leighton, I saw a different side to him. He risked everything for her—his career, his reputation, his life. Over the years, I’ve thought a lot about the day you were taken. What I could’ve done. Maybe if I hadn’t run like a little bitch, I could’ve saved you and our mother.”

  My heart lodged in my throat at the image of a six-year-old Val, running for his life while being chased by his mother’s screams. “Or you would’ve died right along with her.”

  Val didn’t answer. He just stared out the window as horrific memories played across his face. Memories I was spared, while they became a burden he carried alone.

  I’d come to a crossroads. I could forge ahead and dig a trail of tears or follow the worn coward’s path. It was because of that burden and the fragile bond we’d established that I chose the coward’s path, once again proving I was irredeemably selfish.

  “I was in Santiago’s nursery today.”

  And sadistic.

  Val chuckled. “I heard.”

  Biting my lip, I pressed my palm against the glass. “Are you sure he’s safe in there?”

  He tilted his chin, his dark eyebrows bunching together. “What do you mean?”

  “When I walked by, the door was ajar, and he was all alone. You have staff and sicarios coming in and out of this house all day. Don’t you think there should be some security measures in place in case—”

  “Santi is fine.” The bite in his tone wasn’t anger; it was conviction. His confidence wouldn’t entertain the thought of anything less. “The staff is thoroughly vetted, and my men know if they step foot past the first floor, they’ll be shot.”

  It was that unyielding confidence, and my suspicion that he knew the truth anyway that made my decision. Rounding my lips, I blew out a nervous breath and closed my eyes. “Val, I need to tell y
ou—”

  “Hey, Danger, I’ve been looking for you. I…” Eden’s voice trailed off as she hovered in the doorway, her bright smile fading.

  Val held up a hand, his steady eyes locked with mine. “Un momento, Cereza. Adriana and I are talking.”

  The room crackled with tension, and I forced a weak smile. “It’s fine, go. It’s nothing that can’t wait an hour.”

  * * *

  The pounding in my head was relentless. A dull ache so intense it blurred my vision even in complete darkness. I had no idea what time it was. Just the thought of staring at the bright light of my phone was enough to send the room spinning.

  My teeth chattered as a trickle of sweat rolled down the back of my neck. I choked on the violent contrast of sensation, causing my body to spasm with a rough rattling cough. Lifting a shaking hand to my chest, I clawed at my contracting lungs, my compressed throat, and my aching heart.

  I froze, the last thought woven in so seamlessly, yet laced with so much truth.

  Val said Brody confessed he was in love with me.

  I didn’t deserve that word. But just for tonight, as selfish as it was, I needed to pretend I deserved every single one of those four letters. I needed the gentle calm before the storm. The peace before the reckoning.

  I’d leave this world the same way I entered it. As a soulless pawn.

  Peeling back the blanket, I padded barefoot along the cold marble, goose bumps rippling across my bare limbs. My heart lurched into my throat as I stood outside the closed door, the silence behind it making me second guess myself.

  Don’t turn back.

  Twisting the doorknob, I stepped inside the darkened room before I could change my mind. My fingers curled by my side as an almost imperceptible exhale flitted across my ear.

  “I was wondering how long it would take you.”

  I smiled, even though I knew he couldn’t see it. “Confident, are we?” I barely got the last word out before another round of coughs almost brought me to my knees.

  Sheets rustled, and the lamp ignited, flooding the room with agonizingly bright light. It felt like a thousand knives stabbing through my eyes all at once, and I muffled a cry as I pressed the heels of my palms against my eyelids.

  Brody’s warm hands cradled my head. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

  “The light,” I wheezed. “Turn off the light.”

  His warmth disappeared along with the glaring brightness. A painful and welcomed loss, fighting against another one inside my head. Once again, the violent contrast sent me into a tailspin, and I stumbled into strong arms.

  “Christ, Adriana, tell me what’s wrong!”

  But I couldn’t. At least, not and still claim the peace I desperately needed. “Remember when I walked in on you at Caliente?”

  The tension eased with his low chuckle. “You mean when I was jerking off, pretending it was you?”

  I nodded. “I want to give you that.”

  He let out a rough exhale, the raw need in his voice strained with hesitation. “Adriana…”

  But nothing he said would deter me. Hell could rise up and drag me down piece by piece, but I was going to give him this one last memory.

  My final surrender.

  Sinking to my knees in the darkness, I curled my fingers around the waistband of his boxers and slid them down his strong thighs. Brody let out a low grunt as his cock sprang free. I’d never wanted to touch a man more. I’d never wanted to give without any reservations or expectations. So, I cradled him in my hands and stroked my thumbs over his swollen crown.

  He sucked a sharp breath through his teeth. “Shit.”

  “Sit down,” I instructed. “On the edge of the bed.”

  He didn’t argue, and I moved with him as he sank onto the mattress. Without a word, he planted his feet in an open invitation. Empowered by the musky, masculine scent of his arousal, I wedged myself in between his legs and swirled my tongue around the tip.

  “Fuck, Adriana, you’re killing me.”

  “Tell me what you want,” I whispered, licking underneath the crown. “Every single detail. This is your fantasy. Make it come true.”

  His tortured groan sounded more animal than human as his hand dove into my hair. “I want you to suck me hard. I want to fuck your mouth, and then I want to come down your throat and watch you swallow it.”

  I let out an unstable breath.

  “Do you know why?”

  I shook my head.

  His fingers twisted in my hair. “Because your mouth is mine. Your kiss is mine. And God help me, I need to mark them both. Stain them. Claim them. Mine, Adriana. My body. My mouth. My kiss.”

  Dios mío, a la chingada.

  Holy fuck.

  A flood of warmth surged between my legs, and I didn’t think. I acted. I took him in my mouth, giving him everything he wanted as he hit the back of my throat.

  Brody hissed, leaning back on one arm as I bobbed up and down, fighting my gag reflex. “Ah, fuck. Yes, just like that. Faster.”

  All those things he said he wanted to do were just words. His commands flirted on the edge of dirty but didn’t fall over. His hand twisted in my hair but didn’t move. His hips ground into the mattress but didn’t move. He was a live wire sparking toward an explosion, but he was holding back because he didn’t want to hurt me.

  But that wasn’t what I wanted.

  This was my gift. My ending. And I wanted to give him the fantasy.

  I gently pulled away and sighed. “I’m breaking another rule for you.”

  His pants came harsh and hard. “What?”

  “I’ve never let a man come in my mouth. It’s almost as intimate as kissing to me. I’m giving this to you. I’m giving you everything, and you’re holding back. I’m not innocent, Brody. I’m not made of glass. I’m scandal and immorality and sin. Now, are you going to claim me, or not?”

  It was like a switch flipped in Brody’s head. Twisting his hand in my hair, he shoved my open mouth onto his cock so hard, I choked. I braced my hands on his thighs, tears streaming down my cheeks as he pulled my head back.

  “You want a taste of sin, princesa?” he growled. Holding the base of his shaft, he flicked the head against my lips. “Lick.”

  I obeyed. Flattening my tongue, I dragged it across every inch, aching for more.

  “Goddamn, that mouth…” It was all he said before pushing me back down, hard steel filling my throat once more. But this time, he joined the effort, guiding me up and down his length by my hair. Just as I started to get used to the punishing rhythm, he bucked his hips, thrusting up every time he pushed me down.

  His hips and his hand were in a duel, and his cock was the only weapon.

  “Is this what you wanted?” He groaned out the last word, and I peeked up to see his head thrown back, his Adam’s apple bobbing hard in his throat.

  His movements were reckless and frantic. I didn’t know how much more I could take. My jaw ached, my throat burned, and my lungs were desperate to cough, but I refused to give in. We both needed this, and I was seeing it through until the end.

  “Shit!” Brody’s whole body jerked right before warm spurts jetted down my throat. Letting out a primal growl, he clamped both hands against the back of my head. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” As his body spasmed, he opened his eyes and looked down. Seeing me struggle set him off again, sending another round of hot release into my mouth.

  Finally, he pulled away and cupped my face in his hands. “Swallow it,” he commanded. “I marked it, now show me it’s mine.”

  So, I swallowed, and when I felt a mix of saliva and cum drip down my chin, Brody chased it with his index finger, scooping it back up to my lip. Without hesitating, I licked it off, the possessive adoration in his eyes all the reward I needed.

  Hauling me up by my shoulders, he pulled me into his chest and took my lips in a devastating kiss that carved my heart out of my chest and laid it at his feet. New tears coated my wet face as I kissed him back, pouring everything I had left into t
hat one moment.

  That one perfect moment.

  I hoped he kept this memory locked away, safe from the tarnished ones to come.

  Pulling away, Brody brushed a hand across my cheek. He didn’t mention the fresh tears coating his fingers, but he knew they were there, and the pain in his voice shattered me as he stroked my hair. “Why does this feel like goodbye?”

  I forced a smile and traced his lips, memorizing every groove and crevice. “Nothing lasts forever, counselor.”

  “Then kiss me again.”

  Maybe he understood what he was asking. Maybe he didn’t. I chose to believe somewhere, deep down, a part of him knew it was goodbye. I understood better than anyone that sometimes you were better off opting to live in ignorance than reality.

  Reality was a cold and soulless place.

  So, I kissed him with all the passion and hunger inside me, trying without words, to reassure him that the act and the words weren’t mutually exclusive.

  I loved him.

  And because I loved him, as he lay sleeping, I gave his lips one last kiss and left my heart next to his pillow as I walked out.

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Brody

  For the second time, I woke up to an empty bed.

  However, we weren’t in Chapala, and this time, I had a feeling it had less to do with sneaking out to avoid an argument as much as sneaking out to avoid a confrontation. One that had one hell of a right hook, I might add.

  Despite the fact Vergara was still out there. Despite the fact the Muñoz Cartel was still intercepting our shipments. Despite the fact we now knew why he had a vendetta against the Carreras, especially Adriana, I couldn’t stop smiling.

  She never said the words, but then again, neither did I. It didn’t matter. I felt them. She loved me. No woman had ever surrendered herself to me like Adriana did last night. If I ever wavered before, I didn’t now. Adriana Carrera was mine, and God help the man who tried to take her from me.