My father was never the same after she passed and quietly drifted out of my life and retired down in Florida. I hadn’t seen him in a long time, but at least he remembered to call me on my birthday. It’s funny how he always chose the perfect time when I wasn’t available, and by the time I was, my birthday was long over and all I got was a quick voicemail. I wanted more than what they had, and Taylor Ashby could be the one I’d been searching for.
Okay, James, get out of your head and the memories you can’t change. Make new ones with Taylor, I said, giving myself just enough encouragement I needed as I rang the bell and waited for my girl to answer. My girl? Can I say that as if she’s mine? Hell yes I can, because that’s exactly what I intend her to be.
Taylor lived in a trendy neighborhood with the entire block consisting of historic brownstones. Taylor’s was a rental that she mentioned she hoped to own one day, but she won’t need it once I move her into my place. Yeah, I sound like the overbearing caveman who takes control and only agrees with the words coming from my own mouth, but that’s totally not true. I could be all those things, but I also listen and compromise. Surprisingly, being an only child but with an amazing mother who raised me right and made sure I knew the rules, especially when it came to women.
Could she not be home? I thought as I rang the bell once again. I placed the food down and began dialing her number when the front door swung open and Taylor appeared, but she wasn’t alone. She had a man with her. She looked surprised to see me, no doubt since she was entertaining another man who’s not me.
I silently counted to five in my head, not wanting to blow up and confuse what was happening here, but her silence was deafening and wasn’t helping my control at the moment. Finally, someone spoke, and it was not Taylor who made the introductions.
“Hi, I’m Bradford Ashby.” Bombs were going off in my head, because I felt I’ve been played, and that doesn’t happen to me. “The ex-husband,” he clarified.
“Patton James,” I returned the introduction but said nothing more.
“Wow, the Patton James who plays for the Seattle Seahawks? It’s great to meet you,” he extended his hand, and robotically I shook it in return. “So how do you know Taylor?” he asked honestly and didn’t sound like the asshole I initially pegged him for.
Instead of answering, my eyes found Taylor again. Was she going to say anything or just leave us both standing here? I couldn’t do this stand-off and in silence, so it was up to me to end it.
“Well, it looks like I’ve interrupted whatever is going on here, so I’ll let you get back to it. Here, you two enjoy dinner. It’s on me.” I handed off the bags to the ex, and I turned to walk away when she finally found her voice.
“Patton, please don’t go,” I heard her say as I continued to sprint down the sidewalk and back to my car. I wasn’t going to have a scene in the middle of the street where a photographer was always hidden somewhere to take the perfect picture of me that would surely find its way to the tabloids. I have a game on Sunday, and there was no way I was going to let anyone or anything come between that.
“Patton, if you don’t stop right now, don’t think I will continue to follow.”
I let out a breath and then turned to face Taylor, who was standing before me with her hands on her hips.
“After a month together, delivering ultimatums to me? No. Try again, sweetheart,” I said.
“I wouldn’t have to make demands of you if you would have waited for me to explain. Look, you surprised me tonight, and to be honest, I wasn’t expecting my ex either.”
“An ex-husband you’ve yet to tell me about.”
“What did you expect? For me to tell you my life story on the second date?”
“No, but I would have thought telling me that you used to be married would be something you would have mentioned.”
“I’m sorry. Maybe I should have, but it’s not like you offered up details of your life in ten words or less.” She’s right, I didn’t because I have no interest in sharing anything about my past with Taylor.
“You caught me off guard as well, and I apologize for storming off. I’ve been known to overreact, but what guy wouldn’t when he sees his woman with another man? I care about you and believed you cared about me too.”
“Of course I care about you, but my ex is one of those complicated areas that I just wasn’t ready to share with you, at least not when we were still getting to know each other. If this is how you react to learning I’ve been married before, then I’m totally afraid to tell you the rest of my story.”
Yup! When you look up asshole in the dictionary, you’ll find my picture next to the definition. I totally handled this wrong, I chastised myself. I stepped closer and pulled her into my arms as she cried on my shoulder.
“I’m sorry, so sorry for, well, being the overbearing and jealous football player. I should have given you the opportunity to explain,” I said and then pulled her closer to my chest. I peered over her shoulder and saw the curious ex-husband watching our every move. “Your ex is eyeing us from the stoop. Maybe you should go back and finish whatever I interrupted.”
“I will if you come with me.” Her eyes begged me to say yes.
“Looks like you need some moral support.”
“More than you know. And thank you.” She stood on her tiptoes to give me a kiss and then wiped her eyes before turning around to do the short walk back to her place.
He was smart enough to go back inside once he saw that she wasn’t alone and had her hand in mine. Whatever was going on with Taylor and her ex-husband was not my business, but I hoped she trusted me enough to talk about it.
I’d only been here a couple of times, and those times were brief since I preferred to have Taylor at my apartment whenever I was in town. Yes, it had only been a month, but if her ex-husband wanted to know who I was to her, then I would have no problem telling him that she was mine and no one was going to mess with her. It was lucky for him that I didn’t have to take it that far, because he figured it out rather quickly as I held her close to my side in a possessive and protective hold.
“It’s clear to me you are more than friends, but Taylor is my ex-wife, and we have matters to discuss regarding our daughter.”
My hand tightened around her waist as he said the words, and once again the woman in my arms went silent. I wasn’t going to have another confrontation in front of her ex, so I said, “I have a few calls to make. You two finish what you have to take care of, and I’ll be in your office.”
“I won’t be too long. I promise.” Her eyes said the words she couldn’t say, and my heart constricted, realizing I had just spent the last month with someone I thought I knew, and she was sorry for hurting me.
I closed the door, and my body slacked against it. I haven’t been in this room before, but when I first visited, she just made the hand gestures of what each room was without giving me the official tour. One wall was filled with rows of books, and I saw a few photos of a little girl on Taylor’s lap. Is this her daughter? How old is she? The questions swirled around in my head, and then a few minutes later, the door opened.
Taylor stepped inside. “You can come out now. He left. Will you follow right behind him? Or stay and allow me the chance to explain what exactly was happening here tonight?”
“I’ll stay, and if you didn’t notice, I brought dinner. Are you hungry?”
“Yes, and it smells delicious,” she said and then reached for my hand, which I took right away and pulled her close, taking her mouth in a passionate kiss. “Thank you for dinner,” she said as we entered the kitchen. She opened up the containers and filled our plates, heating one at a time.
I opened a bottle of wine and poured Taylor a glass, readying myself for whatever she would tell me. Dinner was relatively quiet, and then after cleaning up, I refilled our glasses, wanting to know her story.
“Before I explain Bradford and my daughter, I want you to know that I wasn’t hiding them from you. I don’t do relationship
s, and even when I was married to Bradford, I couldn’t even call it that. We were two people who shared one common entity, and that is Becca, our fourteen-year-old daughter.”
“Taylor, I’m not here to judge you. We all have a past, and I guess at the moment, yours looks more complicated than mine, but that’s not to say I don’t want to be part of it. I know I overreacted before, but I won’t now. Please talk to me. I guess you can start with why he was here, especially if you weren’t expecting him.”
“He was in town for business and didn’t call me with any advanced notice. He personally delivered our custody papers. Now I have full custody of Becca, and he gets to be completely free to live his life without any responsibility to our daughter.”
“What a dick!” I said aloud, not caring how I sounded.
“Yeah, he’s been known to be that and more, but not tonight. You see, he gave me what I asked for, and now it’s done. He never wanted to get married and neither did I, but at the time it was the best solution to appease our family. I’m not in love with him, and I truly don’t believe I ever was. We were more like friends with benefits who created a baby. He didn’t want me to have it at first, but he knew I would have never agreed to an abortion, so he conceded and married me instead. We divorced four years later, because we were both existing in a loveless marriage that neither of us wanted. He held up the custody agreement more out of spite to punish me, because I was the one who filed first. It’s been a long ten years fighting just to fight, but in the end, he finally gave me what I wanted. Becca is completely mine.”
“Ten years fighting over your daughter? Why? I don’t understand how he could call himself a man and put you through this. So that’s it? He doesn’t want anything to do with her?”
“No, not completely. He’d rather just be a father to her when it is best for him, and he never really took into account how it affected Becca. I tried not to allow him to hurt us or come between anything I was trying to build for my life, so I moved forward and tried to be the best mom I could. I didn’t always live here in Seattle. I’m from Boston originally and spent the last few years in New York before finding my place in Seattle. I actually love it here, and Becca seems to be adjusting to all the change I’ve thrown at her in recent years.”
“And what about your career? What does that look like moving forward?”
“It’s great. I hope to one day land an editor’s position on one of the magazines I freelance for. My column is in high demand, and it pays the bills, so as long as I continue to take care of Becca and keep the roof over our heads, we will be fine. Bradford is not financially obligated to provide anything more for his daughter, and if it means finally freeing myself of him, then I can live without the extras until I can afford them on my own.”
I pulled her down to me and wrapped my arms around her small body and breathed her fragrant scent in. “Taylor, you should have never known any kind of pain, especially from a man who doesn’t deserve your love and kindness. In just the short time I’ve known you, there’s not a day that goes by that I’m not thinking of you and wondering how you are. Yes, I was caught off-guard today, but that’s over, and now that I know about your daughter, I’d love to meet her if you think that’s something you want. Or have you changed your mind about me?”
“No, never. I thought you wouldn’t want to be with me now that you know I come with all this extra baggage.”
“Kids are never baggage. They are the added bonus, and if she’s anything like you, then I know I will love her too.”
“What? What are you saying?” she asked, staring at me with tears in her eyes.
“I love you, Taylor, and I want to be with you. If you’re not comfortable yet with having me meet Becca, that’s okay and I can wait. Just don’t run and not give us a chance to be together.”
“Yes, of course. I want you, Patton. I’ve never met a man like you, one who is loving and attentive to my every need and want. When I met you that day in the rain, I never believed what would happen with us, more that we would just go our separate ways and I would never see you again. My life is pretty quiet next to your big and exciting one.”
“No, it’s not, and don’t believe everything that is printed in the paper and magazines. Yes, my career looks big and exciting, but my personal life has been small and boring. While everyone around me is finding their soulmates, all I’ve had is football. I love the game, and it’s had my heart since the first day I stepped out onto the field. However, I can have more, and since meeting you, I believe you are the more that will complete me, beginning with my heart.”
Her gorgeous eyes filled with tears as I gave her time to absorb my words. She slammed her mouth down to mine and then pulled back to take in a breath before saying, “You really mean it, Patton? You love me, and I’m in your heart?”
“You are. Do you want to be?”
“Yes, and you’re in mine. I love you, Patton.”
After the honest declaration of our mutual feelings, no further words needed to be said between us.
“Taylor, will you let me have you tonight?” I asked in hopes she would say yes.
“Yes, Patton, make love to me.”
One heartbeat to another, I swept Taylor up into my arms and carried her to the bedroom, never taking my lips off hers. I placed her down onto her bed and just took a second to look at her, really look at the beautiful woman I’ve come to love.
“Will you stop staring? You’re making me nervous,” she said, covering her blushing face with her hands.
“Hey, don’t do that.”
“Don’t do what?”
“You know exactly what I’m talking about. You shy away every time you hear a compliment about yourself, as if you’re surprised by it. Why is that?”
“Are you having second thoughts?”
“No way. That’s not what I’m asking, so answer my question, Taylor. Why do you shy away from me when all I want is to pull you closer?”
“You know how the story goes, right? Sometimes the princess ends up kissing a lot of frogs before she finds her prince. You’ve met Bradford, so that should tell you that I’ve been unlucky in this department. The best thing Bradford ever gave me was Becca. The rest was horrible, and I never regretted walking away from that frog.”
“Interesting analogy, but I’m no prince. I’ve never claimed to know and understand women, but I certainly know how to treat one, and I want to know you. There’s something about you, Taylor, that gives me hope for something attainable, and I want to explore this further. All I’m asking for is a chance. Tonight doesn’t have to be complicated. I can stay and just hold you, and when we wake up in the morning, I’ll cook you breakfast. There’s no rush here. I’m not going anywhere. But I will treat you right and love you the way you deserve.”
We didn’t end up making love, both knowing that after the tumultuous night we shared, it wasn’t the right time. But she did allow me to hold her, and we both woke up in each other’s arms, which proved to be one of the best nights I had in a long time.
Chapter 3
Have I lost her for good? How do I make it right?
Present
“Great job, James. Let’s run that play again,” the coach shouted out as I caught pass after pass from Will.
I was making it look easy on the field, but my heart was somewhere else. Becca’s letter was tearing me up inside, and all my thoughts kept returning to Taylor. She wasn’t just making a move in her career; she was moving to another country. In my wildest dreams, I never expected she would actually do it. I guess with Becca in college now, she didn’t have anything holding her back, but fuck, I wanted to. A long time ago, I begged her to give me a chance at making her happy, and I did for a while, but then old insecurities took over my sensibility, and I practically shoved her out of my life.
“Hey, Patton, didn’t you hear the whistle? The practice is over,” said Will. “You coming?”
“Yeah, I’ll be right there,” I said as I continued to stay on th
e field while my teammates walked back into the locker room, leaving me alone to my thoughts, all about Taylor.
Past
It took the rest of the current football season and into the next before I officially met Becca. When I learned of her existence, she was away at a private school in California, another reason why Taylor was in Seattle. She could easily get on a plane and be there for her daughter if needed. For being only fifteen, she was fiercely independent, and maybe she had to be, having to depend on only one parent. Her father was a total asshole, and true to his word, he stayed out of both their lives and existed in DNA only. At least I still got the annual birthday call from my dad, which was more than Becca got.
Taylor had only been to a few games, and although I knew she was only attending for me, the football club of wives wasn’t her thing. She only really liked Meg, along with the rest of the women from the Montgomery family. Most VIP sections reserved for the “wives” or “special guests” are filled with catty women sporting the most expensive handbags money could buy. What I loved about Taylor was that she wasn’t into being with me for my money and could care even less on what my money could buy.
By the time I reached the restaurant where I was meeting Taylor and Becca, I was late. The press conference ran over, and since I scored the last touchdown of the game, my coach would not excuse me from it. I wasn’t a fan of interviews, but when it was forced upon me, I had no choice but to comply.
I hurried over to the table, and Taylor immediately got up to greet me.
“I’m so sorry I’m late, of all nights to be,” I whispered in her ear.
She gave me her sweet smile and told me it was okay and that they weren’t waiting long, which I knew was a lie. My girl was always on time, and still, she made it okay for me.
“Hi, I’m Patton James,” I said to Becca, who returned my greeting with a little sass.
All In With Me: A With Me In Seattle Universe Novella Page 4