How to Write a Dynamite Scene Using the Snowflake Method

by Randy Ingermanson

  Claire is an Englishwoman, subject to English law, under the command of the English army. But she’s living in Scotland, and Scots are not subject to English law, as long as they’re not criminals.

  Claire needs to become a Scot.

  The only way to become a Scot is to marry a Scot.

  Claire doesn’t see any of this. There’s no way she could know the rules of the game. She’s from 1946, and this is 1743.

  But Dougal MacKenzie knows the rules, and he’s been thinking about Claire’s problem for weeks now.

  Dougal has another problem. Jamie Fraser is his nephew, a bold young man, charismatic, popular, a brilliant warrior. Jamie is also a political threat to Dougal and his brother Colum, the laird of the castle where Jamie lives. Dougal and Colum know that Jamie might well try to outmaneuver them for control of the clan someday. But if Jamie were married to an outlander, that would mark him forever as a man not to be fully trusted. It would make him just a wee bit of an outsider to the clan.

  Dougal and Colum want Jamie to marry Claire. That will solve their problem of Jamie being their political rival. And it will solve Claire’s problem with Captain Randall.

  That’s the Decision Dougal wants to impose on Claire.

  He explains the matter to her.

  Claire is not pleased with this Decision and says flat out she can’t.

  What she means is that she’s married to Frank Randall, a man of the twentieth century, a man not even born yet. But that’s not something she can explain. Nobody knows she’s from the future.

  So when Dougal asks why she can’t marry and asks her point-blank if her husband is still alive, she has to say no.

  Then Dougal lays it all out for her. She must become a Scot. That’s the only way he can refuse to deliver her over to Captain Randall on the coming Monday.

  Unless she wants to go sit in an English prison. But Dougal has laid the groundwork well by telling her in brutal detail about the two floggings Captain Randall ordered for Jamie.

  It’s a character reference for Captain Randall—he’s pure evil.

  It’s also a character reference for Jamie—he’s tough.

  If Claire marries Jamie, he’ll protect her to the end of his strength.

  Claire actually likes Jamie. He’s educated and kind and honest. And wildly sexy. It’s true he’s a few years younger than Claire, but that’s not a major difference.

  The fact is, Claire still wants to get back to 1946. The way to get there is through the standing stones. Jamie could take her there.

  After thinking about it for a while, Claire realizes that she really hasn’t got any other options. Feeling her resistance crumbling, she demands to talk to Jamie. He’s being forced to marry her, so he ought to have some say in it, right?

  But Jamie is quite fine with marrying her.

  As a last resort, Claire asks Jamie if it bothers him that she’s not a virgin.

  Jamie just grins and shrugs and says it doesn’t bother him, as long as it doesn’t bother her that he is.

  Claire is caught massively off guard. She knows Jamie spent two years in the French army. How in the world is he still a virgin? She can’t think what to say. She doesn’t say a thing.

  And having fired her last, feeble shot, Claire has run out of options.

  So let’s analyze this Dilemma. This is a fine example of a case where the POV Character can’t work through the Dilemma on her own. Claire doesn’t know enough about English and Scottish law to see that this is the only way. Nor does she have the power to force Jamie to marry her.

  So Dougal plays the role of the mentor here, walking Claire through the Dilemma, guiding her toward the solution. This is not something Dougal cooked up on his own, on the spot. His brother Colum is cleverer and put the idea in his head weeks earlier. Dougal is simply executing Colum’s plan at the opportune moment.

  And it works because Claire has no good choice.

  Jamie has a choice. He could say no, and Dougal could marry Claire off to one of the other men. But Jamie knows something nobody else imagines.

  Jamie is in love with Claire.

  Wildly, madly, insanely in love with her.

  He has been practically since he’s known her.

  Jamie is not being pushed into this marriage.

  He’s jumping of his own free will.

  Claire is being forced to marry, but she won’t be sorry.

  Example 3: A Dilemma for a Reactive Scene in The Godfather

  Michael Corleone has just been viciously sucker punched by a corrupt police captain. Michael doesn’t fight back, which would get him killed. He doesn’t try to press charges, which would put the responsibility for vengeance on the legal beagles.

  Michael is taking the load for vengeance onto his own shoulders. But knowing you want vengeance is not the same as knowing how you’re going to get it. How will Michael pay back the bad cop?

  Michael can’t do anything just yet, because he’s unconscious in the hospital. But in the morning, he’s woken by his father’s consigliori, Tom Hagen. Hagen takes him back to the well-guarded Family house and brings him up to speed on the way.

  Fact 1: The cop who slugged Michael is definitely crooked, definitely in the pay of Sollozzo, who ordered the hit on Don Corleone. The cop’s name is Captain McCluskey.

  Fact 2: The Corleone Family has just gunned down Bruno Tattaglia, a member of the Family sponsoring Sollozzo. That’s payback for shooting Don Corleone. And it’s the beginning of what will be a long war between the rival Families.

  Fact 3: Don Corleone’s right-hand man, a brutal killer named Luca Brasi, is dead—killed the night before Don Corleone was shot. Luca was the Corleone Family’s ace in the hole, and now he’s gone.

  Fact 4: Sollozzo has asked for a meeting, and the only Corleone he trusts is Michael. He guarantees Michael’s safety, and he’s offering a deal that he claims is so good the Corleones won’t be able to resist it. He claims that things are even, now that his ally Bruno Tattaglia is dead. Blood for blood. He wants everyone to declare bygones to be bygones, to move forward without a bloody war.

  When Michael gets home, he finds himself in a council of war with his violent older brother, Sonny, his father’s consigliori, Hagen, and his father’s two chief lieutenants.

  The question is how to respond to Sollozzo.

  This is a serious Dilemma, because Sollozzo put the hit on Don Corleone. Now he claims he wants peace? Can he be trusted? On the other hand, can the Family afford to fight him? Or should they play a waiting game and send Michael to the meeting while they retrench for an all-out war? But doesn’t that just buy time for Sollozzo to try another hit on the old man?

  The purpose of the meeting is to work through the Dilemma.

  Tom Hagen begins by saying that the Family should at least listen to the deal Sollozzo is offering. Because, why not? It might be good.

  Sonny is furious. No meeting. No truce. He proposes an ultimatum. The Family should demand Sollozzo’s head, or else it’s war with his sponsors, the Tattaglia Family.

  But that’s a terrible idea, and Hagen immediately explains why. Sollozzo is paying off Captain McCluskey, who’s acting as his bodyguard. There is no way to kill Sollozzo without going through McCluskey. And killing a New York cop is the surest way to destroy the Family business. The whole city would come down on the Corleones in righteous rage. Sonny’s idea is a nonstarter.

  Michael asks if it’s possible to bring his father home from the hospital. He needs to be in a safe place as soon as possible. If they bring him home, they buy some time. As long as Don Corleone is in the hospital, he’s vulnerable to Sollozzo and McCluskey.

  But that won’t work either. Sonny explains that their father is too badly damaged to be moved. The doctors say moving him would kill him.

  Michael now points out that they must kill Sollozzo. Sollozzo can’t be trusted. He’ll try again to kill Don Corleone, and next time he might succeed. This is not an option. Sollozzo must be killed right now.
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  The others see the logic. But this is not yet a Decision. It’ll be a Decision when the group decides who will kill Sollozzo and when and how.

  It’s a start. But the Dilemma is still staring at them.

  Sonny points out the problem with killing Sollozzo—he’s guarded by Captain McCluskey.

  Michael says that if Sollozzo has to be killed, then McCluskey has to be killed too. Yes, it’s extreme. But McCluskey is crooked, and when the city finds out their dead cop was on the Mafia payroll, all their righteous rage is going to fade like smoke. Nobody likes a crooked cop.

  But this is still not a Decision.

  Who’s going to kill Sollozzo and McCluskey?

  Michael is now clearly in charge of the meeting. He says that Sollozzo has already asked for a meeting with him, Michael Corleone, Sonny’s soft kid brother, the straight-arrow Marine, the Ivy League college boy, the outsider inside the Corleone Family.

  So—Michael asks—what if he goes to the meeting? Without a gun, of course. They’ll frisk him for weapons. He’ll be clean. But the Family will find a way to get a gun to him inside the meeting. Then he’ll shoot Sollozzo and McCluskey. How about that?

  Sonny tries to laugh him off. That’s a stupid idea. If he kills a New York cop, he’s going to the electric chair. And anyway, doesn’t he know this isn’t long-distance, like in a war? When you knock off a Mafia hood, you put a gun to his head and fire and you get blood and guts on your nice suit. Sonny laughs and laughs.

  But Michael isn’t laughing. Michael is serious. Michael sees that everyone thinks he’s soft, and that’s his unfair advantage.

  Because Michael isn’t soft. Michael has guts. Michael was the only son who could ever stand up to the old man. Michael has a part deep inside his soul that’s made of ice-cold steel.

  It’s just logic. Sollozzo must be killed. Therefore, McCluskey must be killed. Michael can do the job because their enemies think he’s soft. Nobody else can get close enough to make the hit. It’s the only possible solution, and Michael is volunteering. He’s got no wife or kids, so if he needs to run and hide for ten years, nothing is stopping him.

  From the point of view of the Family, it really is the only solution.

  Now let’s analyze this process. They work through the Dilemma like it’s a problem in logic. Can we try this option? No, because here’s why. What about this one? No, here’s why. In the end, only one option is left.

  It’s risky.

  It’s desperate.

  But it’s the only option that fits within the Goals, Ambitions, and Values of the men in the room. You may very well argue that this is a terrible Decision, because it doesn’t match your life Goal, Ambition, and Values. It doesn’t fit with mine either. The Godfather is not a story about nice people.

  You don’t have to agree with the characters in The Godfather.

  But once you understand their Goals, Ambitions, and Values, you can understand them. You can even feel empathy for them.

  You can follow them on this journey down a road you, personally, would never take.

  Michael has two Values that are contradictory. Nothing is more important than doing right. Nothing is more important than family. Up till now in the story, he’s been living by the Value about doing right. But now he switches gears. The survival of his family was never on the line before.

  Now it is, and Michael’s true Value emerges. From now on, nothing is more important than family. The Corleone Family.

  And this is the solution to a problem that’s been looming since the first chapter. Don Corleone is getting old. His first son, Sonny, is too much the bully to be a good successor. His second son, Fredo, is too weak. His third son, Michael, is too honest.

  When the Godfather retires or dies, who will be the next Godfather?

  With Michael’s Decision, we have a possible answer.

  An End Implies a New Beginning

  When the Dilemma ends, we have a Decision, which will launch us into the next scene. (Or into some scene a little further down the road, if you’re weaving together several threads in your story.)

  Dilemmas tend to be long, whereas Decisions tend to be short.

  In the next chapter, we’ll look at how you wrap up the Decision in a nice package to finish out your Reactive Scene.

  It’s not complicated, but you do need to do it right. We’ll look at that next.

  Chapter Thirteen

  How to Create a Dynamite Decision

  You’ve now written most of your Reactive Scene. Your Dilemma consumed most of the word count for the scene, and now it’s time to end the scene. You do that by choosing one of the options from the Dilemma and making a commitment to it.

  What Makes a Good Decision?

  Let’s be clear that your POV Character usually doesn’t have any good options. She has bad options and less bad options. So when we talk about a “good Decision,” we’re not talking about what’s good for your Character. We’re talking about what’s good for your story.

  I don’t want to saddle you with a bunch of ironclad rules, because fiction isn’t paint-by-numbers. But here are some rules of thumb that will guide you in deciding whether your Decision is strong—one that will give your reader a powerful emotional experience:

  The Chess Principle applies here. When you make a forcing move in chess, it reduces your opponent’s options and makes him easier to predict. It’s the same in fiction. When your Character makes a bold, assertive move, that gives her an edge over the other people in the story.

  The Decision will be the Goal for some future Proactive Scene, so it needs to be a good Goal as measured by the principles we set out in chapter 7. To summarize, that Goal will need to fit the time slot for the coming scene, it must be possible and yet difficult, it must line up with the Character’s Story Goal, Ambition, and Values, and it must be concrete and objective.

  The riskier the Decision, the more clearly the Character needs to admit to herself that yes, it is risky, but it’s the least bad option. Readers don’t respect a Character who walks into danger stupidly. They do respect a Character who walks in knowing the risks and accepting them for some greater good.

  The Decision should be a full commitment. It’s not a Decision if your POV Character is dithering around. She needs to go all in on this Decision. If your Character goes all in, then your reader goes all in. If your Character doesn’t go all in, your reader may just go to bed.

  Some Example Decisions for Reactive Scenes

  Now let’s look at the Decisions of our POV Characters in the Reactive Scenes we’ve been following.

  Example 1: A Decision for a Reactive Scene in The Hunger Games

  When we left off Katniss at the end of her chapter, she had come up with a plan. But Suzanne Collins didn’t tell us the plan. In the last paragraph of the scene, Katniss says that she has a plan. She’s not going to play defense anymore. Now she’s going on offense. And the chapter ends.

  This is one way you can conclude a Reactive Scene. Announce that there’s a plan and end the chapter.

  Another way is to tell the plan.

  Whatever you do, don’t toy with the reader by having the character dance around the plan. Either tell the plan, or get on to the next scene.

  So what is Katniss’s plan?

  We learn that in the next chapter.

  The plan is to destroy the Career Tributes’ food supply.

  Of course this is risky. The Careers will fight like crazy to protect their food.

  But Katniss and Rue have to take it out, or the Careers will simply play a waiting game until the Gamemakers force them all together, and that’s an advantage for the Careers.

  If Katniss attacks the Careers, the Gamemakers will focus the cameras on her attack, because it makes for good ratings. They’ll give her the time to make her play, which is what she needs.

  The payoff on this plan will be huge. The Careers don’t know how to live off the land. They don’t know how to be hungry. In past years, when the Careers l
ost their food supply, they generally got killed pretty quickly.

  So that’s the Decision. Is it a good Decision? Let’s analyze:

  Is it a forcing move? You bet it is. Katniss is going to massively reduce the options of the Careers with this move—if she succeeds.

  Will the Decision make a good Goal for the next Proactive Scene? Of course. It’s possible but difficult; it’s concrete and objective.

  Does Katniss admit it’s risky? Yes, but she lays out the logic for it. She’s going in with both eyes open.

  Is she fully committed? Absolutely. And so is Rue.

  It’s a good Decision. And now we have a Goal for the next Proactive Scene.

  Example 2: A Decision for a Reactive Scene in Outlander

  When we left off Claire, she was just coming to grips with the Decision that was provided to her by Dougal MacKenzie—she needs to marry Jamie Fraser.

  Dougal has his own reasons for wanting Jamie married. But the fact is, it really is the least bad option for Claire. The Dilemma part of the scene has now led her through all the other options.

  The Decision in the scene comes when she agrees in her own mind that yes, she’s going to marry Jamie.

  Of course it’s a shock to her. Up to this point in the novel, she’s been focused on getting back to 1946. But she’ll never live long enough to do that unless she marries Jamie. So she agrees.

  Is it a good Decision? Let’s analyze:

  Is it a forcing move? Yes. Claire is switching allegiance to become a Scottish citizen. That cuts off Captain Randall’s authority at the knees. He’s going to have a lot fewer options now.

  Will it make a good Goal for the next Proactive Scene? Oh yeah. There are some legal issues to resolve. There is the matter of finding Claire a dress on short notice. And there’s the huge deal looming that she can’t ignore—this won’t be a legal marriage unless she consummates it. Claire isn’t in love with Jamie, but she can’t weasel out of this. She’s got to get in bed with Jamie and do the deed. And she likes him enough to know this is going to split her feelings.