I just stood there my body filled with terror.
Because I understood that to me, it had been five long years. I’d spent the first year full of hope, then the second full of despair, before grieving my wife during the third. I hadn’t even started dating again until two years ago, although it had only ever been Maddy, so I guess you couldn’t even call what I’d done dating.
To Kelly, however, it felt like the last time we’d made love had been weeks ago, not years, and although she might logically be able to understand why I’d moved on, there was no way she would emotionally.
The thought of telling her the truth terrified me, because I knew there was a very real possibility that doing so would ensure that I lost my wife again.
This time … permanently.
Six
Kelly
God, I am so tired…
And no, I didn’t mean sleepy tired. I’d been asleep for five years, I was good … but I was tired of everything else.
The beeping of the monitors.
Laying in this godforsaken bed.
My mother and husband hovering over me and acting as if I might disappear at any moment.
But, mostly, I was tired of the awkwardness that now existed between me and Jake. He hadn’t been back to see me since I’d woken up and screamed at the sight of him. I’m sure he was hurting just as much as I was and more than anything I wanted the opportunity to speak with him … to hold him again.
It was devastating.
My little guy was becoming a man, and I’d missed it. I’d missed middle school and his transition to high school. His first girlfriend. Watching him hit puberty and measuring as he grew to become the impossibly tall person he was today.
It was hard to wrap my head around.
To come to terms with the fact that my little boy was gone. My buddy. My baseball star. I didn’t have time to get used to him growing into a teenager, to let him go bit by bit as he grew up and became more independent.
No. Before I went to sleep, he was momma’s boy, and now, he didn’t even come to visit me.
It had been a few weeks since I woke up. My mother had left this morning to go back home, thank God. Not that I didn’t love her or appreciate the fact that she was happy I woke up, but the constant smothering and tension between her and Sean had been slowly driving me insane.
I was currently alone in my room, hoping someone would come to see me soon. I was tired of reading and watching TV, and the doctor had told me that I could make my first trip down to the cafeteria but had to have someone accompany me.
Sean, Karen, Jake … I wasn’t picky. I just needed someone to come and get me out of this room, even if it was only for twenty minutes. I looked at the clock on the wall and tried to remember when Sean said he’d be back when I heard a knock on the door.
I turned toward the door to see a red-haired man peer around the corner.
“Hello?” I called, wondering if he was in the wrong room. “Can I help you?”
He stepped inside. He was about as tall as Sean, although a bit more muscular, with deep-red hair and bright-green eyes. He wore a pleasant smile and was wringing his hands as he walked a couple steps toward me, then stopped.
“Yes, Kelly,” he began, then cleared his throat nervously. “I’m Connor…”
When he didn’t elaborate, I looked at him closely. There was something about him that was familiar … his voice …. his face, but I couldn’t place him.
“Do I know you?” I asked, tilting my head as I searched his features.
“I was the man you pulled out of the car. You saved my life,” Connor said, the words gushing out as if he could no longer hold them in. “Mine and my daughter’s. You’re our hero, and I can’t thank you enough.”
My heart pounded in my chest and I clutched at the sheets.
“I hope it’s okay that I came,” Connor continued when I didn’t respond. “We’ve been coming to see you over the years, Blake and me. When I came this morning, they told me that you’d woken up … I couldn’t believe it.”
His eyes misted with emotion, which shocked me further. Connor crossed to my bed and looked down at me, pleadingly.
“I’m so sorry. I can’t thank you enough for what you did. You saved me in more ways than one, and I’ve been praying every day for your recovery. I hope that we can talk, and that you’ll allow us to continue to visit you, but I’ll understand if you can’t or don’t want to see me.”
I looked up at his earnest face and finally found my voice.
“Connor, will you do me a favor?”
“Anything.”
“Take me to the cafeteria? We can talk there, but I’d really like to do so with coffee and something sweet.”
“Yes, absolutely,” he said eagerly, then looked back at the door. “As long as it’s okay…”
I laughed lightly, the feeling foreign in my throat.
“Don’t worry, I’ve been cleared by the doc. I’m not asking you to break me out or anything,” I assured him.
Ten minutes later, I’d wheeled my wheelchair to the cafeteria and was sitting with a coffee and muffin in front of me, and a smile on my face.
“Thank you,” I told Connor as he sat across from me with his own coffee.
“No problem. Anything I can ever do for you, I will, all you have to do is ask,” he said and I chuckled again.
“That seems like a broad statement to make to a total stranger.”
He nodded, his expression thoughtful.
“I get that to you I am a stranger but, like I said, my daughter and I have been coming to see you for five years. We’ve read books to you and carried on one-sided conversations. I’ve basically told you my life story, although you won’t remember it. My daughter goes to school with your son and we’ve been to his open mic nights…”
I’d been listening, thinking it was crazy that someone who I knew nothing about, felt like I was such a big part of his life. It was a bit daunting, then what he’d said registered.
“Open mic nights?” I asked, latching on to this new information about my son.
Connor nodded.
“Yeah, he’s really good. Sings and plays acoustic guitar. If I’m honest, I’m certain Blake has a crush on him, but I don’t really like to think about that, ya know?”
He let out a nervous chuckle.
“Wow,” I breathed, utterly baffled. Jake had never played an instrument before, unless you counted the recorder in elementary school, and I’d never heard him sing. “He’s a musician?”
Connor’s smile fell.
“You didn’t know?”
I shook my head. “No, things have been a little strained between us. To say I was floored when I saw him would be an understatement. He’s completely different, and to me it’s like it happened overnight.”
“I’m so sorry,” he said again, hanging his head, and I had to know...
“What happened that day? I remember that it was raining and you were driving too fast…”
I also remembered his daughter screaming for him and the faint thread of his pulse beneath my fingers, but I didn’t mention that.
Connor sighed and looked away, then seemed to steel himself as he brought his eyes back to mine.
“I’d been drinking,” he admitted. “I was an alcoholic. My drinking almost killed not only me and Blake, but you … the brave stranger who saved us. You’re my hero, my angel, my savior, and even if I live to be a hundred and thank you every day, it will never be enough.”
“I’m not –” I started to argue.
Connor placed his hand over mine and insisted, “You are. To me and to Blake, you are.”
I felt a lump in my throat, but swallowed it down and asked, “And now? Are you still drinking?”
Connor shook his head.
“I got probation, community service, and went to rehab once I was released from the hospital. I haven’t had a drink since that day. No more sports cars either. I drive a sensible, safe vehicle now.”
<
br /> I felt my lips turn up.
“That’s fantastic, Conner.”
“Thanks. And I hope you can forgive me. I also hope you’ll allow me to come back with Blake. She’d love to see you and thank you herself.”
I thought about it, searched my soul for my reaction to all of this information, and realized that I would like to see him again, as well as the little girl I’d pulled from the car that day.
“Yes, I’d like that,” I replied, and he broke into a grin.
I noticed his grin was a little crooked and he had one dimple on the left side.
“Great,” Connor said happily, and again I felt a sense familiarity and realized that I liked him, which may be weird considering how we’d met.
Maybe it was because my subconscious knew his voice, or maybe it was because he was the first person since I woke up to talk to me like I was a person, instead of an invalid.
Whatever it was, I looked forward to seeing him again and getting to know him better. You could never have too many friends in this life.
Seven
Jacob
I looked at my phone to check the time, bored and eager to be done with this damn class.
AP English wasn’t the worst class in my schedule, with its focus on American Literature. We mostly read books, discussed them, and wrote papers. But it wasn’t my favorite either.
Plus, it was the last class of the day, so I was usually ready to get the hell off school grounds and either hang with Ally or work on my music. Today, unfortunately, I wasn’t doing either of those things.
I was going to visit my mother.
“Jake, your mom wants to see you. You’re hurting her feelings by staying away. It’s time to grow up and do what’s right,” my father had told me that morning before school.
Luckily, I hadn’t seen him much since Mom had woken up. Unluckily, he’d been waiting for me in the kitchen when I went in to grab a water.
I wanted to tell him that she’d hurt my feelings when she’d screamed at the sight of me, but I knew it would be in vain. He didn’t care about me and I knew he wouldn’t see my side. So, I kept my mouth shut and nodded.
“I’m not playing. You’d better go,” he’d kept right on lecturing. “If I find out you didn’t, you’ll lose your keys.”
Ever since I’d gotten my license and the Jeep, taking the keys was his go-to punishment.
“I said I’ll go,” I muttered, then grabbed the water and left him standing there in the kitchen.
The bell rang, and as I stood and grabbed my things, the teacher said, “Don’t forget to finish The Crucible this weekend. We’ll discuss on Monday and your papers will be due by the end of next week.”
“Hey, babe,” Ally said as she bounded up to me in the hallway.
I leaned down and kissed her offered lips, then stood back up and took her hand.
As we walked to the exit, she said, “I wish you didn’t have to go.”
I’d told her about the visit to the hospital that morning.
“Yeah, I know, but we’re still on for tomorrow, right?”
“You know it,” she said with a grin.
We were planning on spending the day at my favorite park in town. For some reason, I was always inspired when I went there, and having Ally with me, my muse, would only ensure a great day of writing.
I needed it. Some time to get lost in writing, to forget about the crazy mess that was my current family life.
I kissed her again, caressing her tight little ass as I did, then promised to call her later.
I got in my Jeep and reluctantly turned it toward the hospital.
It wasn’t that I didn’t love my mom, I did. One hundred percent. She’d always been the parent I was closest to. But I wasn’t a twelve-year-old boy anymore. I didn’t play baseball and I’d rather spend time with my girlfriend than with my parents.
Her reaction to seeing me, the way she’d screamed in terror, hadn’t made me real fired up to go back.
I hated it.
I hated the feeling of unease and even unacceptance I’d felt when she woke up.
I rationally knew that she’d been through a lot, had a ton of changes to deal with, and that she probably felt lost.
But, dammit, she was my mother.
She was supposed to love me and accept me no matter what. I shouldn’t feel uneasy being in the same room as her, but I did. I wanted that to change, but I had no idea how to make that change happen.
I took the elevator to her floor, then walked slowly down the hallway to her room. Like it was The Green Mile and I was headed to my execution.
When I turned the corner I stopped, surprised by how good she looked. Her coloring was no longer grayish, it looked like she’d had her hair cut, and she was wearing makeup.
She looked almost exactly like she used to.
Her head came up and she smiled when she saw me standing in the doorway.
It was the first time she’d smiled at me since she woke up.
My heart constricted.
“Jake, hi, I’m so happy you’re here,” she said, lifting her hand to beckon me forward.
“Your hair,” I mumbled, still in shock.
Her hand touched the end of her bob and her lips tipped up self-consciously.
“Karen did it,” she said softly. “She also brought me some makeup and clothes.”
“You look great,” I said, my voice rough with emotion, even though I tried to contain it.
“Thank you.” My mom smiled and her eyes filled with tears. “Jake, I’m so sorry about what happened before … when I woke up. I was confused and had no idea that I’d missed five years. I thought you were a relative of your fathers’ who I’d never met.” She laughed dryly. “I guess in a way, you were … but, honey, you have to know, I never meant to hurt you.”
I nodded and sat in the chair next to her bed.
I didn’t know what to say. I felt uncomfortable, but relieved to hear those words.
After a few moments I think it became apparent to my mom that I wasn’t going to respond. She shifted in her bed, then said, “I met Connor.”
I nodded again. I knew Connor and Blake came by often to visit Mom and to read to her.
“How was that?” I asked, figuring I needed to say something. “Does Dad know?”
“It was good, actually. We went down to the cafeteria and had coffee, which was nice. He explained what happened on his end of things and said he and his daughter liked to visit me. He also said that they sometimes go to your open mic nights…”
She waited expectantly.
This time I shifted uncomfortably.
“Yeah, they do sometimes.”
She looked disappointed that I didn’t elaborate, then answered, “And no, I didn’t tell your dad. The last time he was here Karen stopped in to do my hair and it totally slipped my mind. Why, does he not like Connor?”
I wasn’t sure how much I should say but figured I should be honest.
“No. At first he tried to have him banned from visiting, said it was his fault you were in here, but one day Connor came by when Grandma was visiting, and she, Karen, and I were here. They talked while I hung out with Blake, and then Grandma and Karen talked to the doctor … Anyway, together they all kind of vetoed Dad’s decision. He was pissed, but said as long as he never saw them, he’d let it go.”
“Oh,” she said softly. “Well, I’ll talk to your dad. Connor explained what happened, and I forgave him. He’s going to come back with Blake next week so I can meet her.”
“Cool.” I looked around the room, at the flowers and cards that always seemed to be there, and asked, “Do they know when you’re going to get to come home?”
“A few more weeks, I think. My physical therapy has been going well, but it’ll still take some time … I can’t wait though. To get out of here and go home.”
I nodded again, then thought of all the changes that I was sure my father hadn’t told her about, that she would have to face. Not just chan
ges to the house, but the bookstore he’d built in her honor, while at the same time fucking another woman.
Yeah, I was sure he hadn’t told her about that, not when she looked so happy, and suddenly I hated him. Even more than I already did.
Eight
Sean
I was a fucking wreck.
I hadn’t been able to sleep all week, not with Karen’s deadline to tell Kelly looming over me.
I knew I had to tell her, that it was the right thing to do, but I wanted more time. More time for her to heal, to come to terms with all of the other changes in our lives, but Karen was forcing my hand.
She’d sent me a text just that morning reminding me that today was the day.
I’d hated her in that moment.
I walked into Kelly’s room, surprised to see her hair and makeup done. She looked more like her regular self, less frail and pale, and I felt relief flood me at the sight of her.
She’ll forgive me … she has to.
“Morning,” Kelly said with a smile as I approached.
“Good morning, you look great,” I replied, returning her smile, even though it felt a little forced.
I was racked with nerves.
“Jake came by. It was … nice. I can’t believe how much he’s changed … He’s a man now.”
“Well, not quite, although he likes to think so,” I replied wryly, then flinched when I noticed the disappointment on her face. She would hate to know how far apart Jake and I had grown in her absence.
“I also met Connor,” Kelly said softly, and my gaze swung to meet hers.
There was a challenge in her eyes, as if she were waiting for me to get pissed off, or disparage Connor, which is exactly what I wanted to do.
It was his fault we were here, in this moment in time. If it hadn’t been for his reckless actions, I wouldn’t have lost my wife for five years. Or fought with my son. Or started a relationship with another woman.
Even as I logically realized my thoughts weren’t rational, I couldn’t help them. I needed to blame someone for what happened to Kelly, and Connor was the one who’d been drinking and driving that day.
Unwoven Ties Page 3