Still, knowing everything else I was about to tell Kelly, how our lives were about to change once again, I bit my tongue about Connor.
Instead of forbidding her from seeing him again, like I wanted to, I simply said, “I see.”
I crossed the room to look at the new flowers that had been delivered. Buying time by checking the cards to see who they were from, while I tried to find the strength to come clean with my wife.
I cleared my throat, closed my eyes for a moment, and took a deep breath.
“Kelly, there are a few things I need to tell you … things that happened while you were … asleep,” I began, moving to sit on the edge of her bed.
Kelly sat up and looked at me. “Okay.”
“I didn’t want to overwhelm you with all of the information at once, instead trying to give you bits and pieces at a time, let you get used to them, then give you more, but, it’s time you know everything.”
“Jeez, Sean, you’re scaring me.”
“Let’s start with the good news,” I said, plowing through. I knew if I stopped talking, I’d lose my nerve. “I built Escape in a Book.”
Her mouth dropped open. “What?”
I nodded and grinned. “I did. It’s perfect. Just how you described it. I wanted it to be ready for you when you woke up, and it is.”
“The bookstore?”
“And coffeeshop,” I clarified. “It’s downtown. Perfect location, right by the water. We’re actually doing quite well.”
“I can’t believe it,” she said with a little laugh. “Do you have pictures?”
“Yeah, I do, I should have thought of that.”
I pulled out my phone and opened up the photo app, scrolling until I found one of the outside, then a few of inside the store.
Kelly looked through them, eyes wide and filling with tears.
“It’s beautiful,” she whispered. “I can’t wait to stand inside and breathe it in.”
I chuckled, imagining her doing just that.
“That’s so amazing, Sean, I can’t believe you did that for me.” She reached out and put her hand on my arm. “You never gave up hope, did you?”
Fuck.
I flinched at the pride and love in her voice.
Maybe I shouldn’t have led with the good news; it was only going to make delivering the bad so much worse.
“The first few years,” I began, my hand grasping hers as I looked in her beautiful face, my heart full of fear. “I was full of hope. No matter what the doctors said, or the nurses, I was sure you were going to wake up. Each time I talked to you, or held your hand, I just knew you were going to open your eyes and respond. But, you didn’t.”
Kelly squeezed my hand in response.
I took a deep breath and continued, “Then I began to feel really, really lonely. Jake was pulling away from me, caught up in his own life, his friends … and once the bookstore was done I wasn’t bogged down with plans, contracts, and problems. And … I met Madeline.”
Kelly tried to pull her hand away, but I held on.
“No,” she breathed, her eyes full of pain.
“I’m so sorry, Kel.”
Kelly yanked her hand back, and this time I let her go.
Her eyes filled and her tone was flat when she shouted, “Get out.”
Nine
Kelly
I laid back on the bed, shell-shocked.
He met someone else.
I couldn’t stop the feelings of helplessness that almost crippled me with their strength.
The last few weeks it seemed like there’d been one blow after another. I couldn’t even catch my breath before the next punch was thrown, hitting me squarely in the gut. It hurt to breath and my throat felt raw from the burn of tears.
My marriage hadn’t been without issues, but to me, it was perfect.
Now everything had changed. Everything except me, that is, and with each new bit of information I realized things weren’t going to get easier, or return to normal, once I left the hospital and went home.
As the tears streamed down my face, I wondered about Madeline.
I didn’t want to. I didn’t want visions of some faceless woman with my husband. Eating dinner with him, holding his hand … kissing him. Probably even worse. I’d been essentially gone for five years, so it was probably naïve of me to expect Sean to have been celibate the entire time.
Except … was it? He was my husband, after all.
It felt like my heart was breaking and I started sobbing so hard it was a struggle to catch my breath.
Madeline.
I started picturing her a million different ways.
Was she a floozy, out for a good time, tempting my husband with big boobs and puffy lips?
Was she a mom from Jake’s school? A divorcee who spent all her time working out, trying to get back her youth?
Or was she some young twenty-something looking for a sugar daddy?
My mind went haywire with theories, none of them very nice, but I couldn’t find it in myself to feel sorry for her, or for him. Maybe it didn’t say much about me, and maybe eventually I’d find it in me to forgive …To understand the predicament that Sean had been in.
But, today is not that day
“Kel?”
I looked over at the entrance to my room and saw Karen standing there looking crestfallen.
“He told you?” she asked.
“You knew?” I cried, betrayal settling in my belly.
Karen crossed to the bed and sat on the edge.
“I did … and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you right away, but I thought it should come from Sean, not me. Although I did give him an ultimatum and let him know I would tell you about her if he didn’t.”
“Have you seen her?” I asked, my voice pitiful even to my own ears.
Karen nodded and said, “Once. It was at a restaurant a little over a year ago.”
“A year?” I breathed, wondering exactly how serious things were between them. “Is she pretty?”
“Don’t do this to yourself, Kel. I’m sure it was a mistake, which Sean will quickly rectify.”
“Can we talk about something else?” I asked, not wanting to think about it any longer.
Karen grasped my hand and said, “You bet.”
We sat quietly for a few moments before I said, “How about I go splash some water on my face and then we head to the cafeteria for some coffee?”
“Sounds perfect,” she replied gently.
I’d upgraded to a walker, so after I got cleaned up, Karen and I walked down to the cafeteria.
Well, Karen walked … I shuffled.
When we reached the dining area, Karen told me to sit while she grabbed the coffee, and when she returned with not only coffee, but pie, I knew I couldn’t stay mad at her.
It wasn’t fair, since she wasn’t the person I was actually mad at anyway.
“Mmmm, that looks yummy,” I said, giving her a small smile when she placed the plate in front of me.
“Key lime, your favorite,” she said as she sat across from me.
“And apple for you,” I replied, nodding toward her plate.
“I usually don’t splurge like this but … what the heck, right?”
I lifted my mug, thinking how at least some things never changed. Karen had been in the middle of dieting ever since we’d met.
Maybe focusing on the things that were the same, rather than all of the new developments in my life, would help me regain some balance. Which would be better than feeling like I was constantly on the brink of a panic attack.
“I wonder if they have someone here I could talk to … you know, like a therapist,” I mentioned cautiously as I snagged a forkful of pie.
“I’m sure they do,” Karen said, her tone encouraging. “I’m surprised they haven’t mentioned it.”
“They may have,” I said with a shrug. “A lot of information has been thrown at me over the last few weeks, I probably missed most of it.”
“Want me
to ask your doctor about it?” she offered.
“No, that’s okay, I’ll do it,” I said, feeling hopeful at the thought.
Ten
Jacob
“What do you think about going with me?” I asked, pausing my mouth’s descent down Ally’s throat.
Ally sighed and moved slightly to look at me.
“To see your mother?” she asked. “In the hospital?”
“Well, yeah. It’ll still be a little longer before she can come home, and it seems crazy to me that you two haven’t met yet. I think it would make her happy, ya know? She’s curious about what my life is like now … what I’m like. And, you’re a big part of it.”
Ally looked pleased at my admission and rewarded me by moving her hand between us and cupping my cock over my jeans.
My hips thrust instinctively and I quickly looked up to make sure no one was around. We were in the parking lot, which had mostly cleared out, making out against my Jeep.
“Fuck, that feels good,” I managed, wishing we were anywhere but here.
“I can make it feel better,” Ally whispered, her breath hot on my ear. “Let’s skip the hospital and go to your place.”
Disappointment filled me and it took every ounce of self-control I had to take a step back from Ally … and her roaming hand.
“Come on, Ally,” I protested.
“What?” she said, giving me a clueless look, which we both knew was fake.
I hated when she acted like she didn’t know what I was talking about.
“You know what … don’t do that. Look, if you don’t want to go with me, just say so, but I’d really like it if you did. We don’t have to stay long,” I said, hoping the compromise would get her to say yes. “Then we can go to my place afterwards and finish what we started.”
Ally gave me the little pout she put on when she wanted to get her way and asked, “Promise?”
There’d been subtle changes in her since my mom woke up. Expressions and reactions to things that made her seem more like the girls in school I’d always avoided, than the Ally I’d grown to love.
But since I knew I’d been distracted a lot lately and she wasn’t getting my undivided attention like usual, I decided to ignore it for the most part.
“Yeah,” I assured her, grabbing her hand in mine. “What do you say?”
“Okay, but I fully expect you to go down on me later as payback.”
I grinned and my dick became so hard it was almost painful.
“It’ll be my pleasure,” I said, because it totally fucking would. “Let’s go.”
We walked around and I opened the door before helping her up into the Jeep.
“Thanks for doing this, baby, you’re the best,” I said as we pulled out of the parking lot.
Once we got to the hospital and were riding the elevator up to my mom’s floor, I took her hand in mine once again and grinned at her.
The look on Ally’s face was strange, but I simply chalked it up to nerves over meeting my mom for the first time.
She’d met my dad and I’d met her parents, but this felt different.
When we walked in, my mom was standing by the window looking outside. Rather than using her walker, she was leaning against the sill and I wondered if she’d walked over from the bed, and if that meant her legs were getting stronger.
Maybe she’d get to come home soon.
I cleared my throat to let her know she wasn’t alone without startling her, and when she turned, the look on my mom’s face was so sorrowful it hurt to see.
“Mom, are you okay?” I asked, leaving Ally in the doorway so I could move to her.
She blinked and tried to pull off a cheerful expression, but it fell flat.
“Jake, hi, it’s so good to see you,” my mom said, just like she had the last time I was here.
I guess she was trying to make up for the first time.
I took her arm and helped her back to the bed. She leaned on me pretty hard and when I got a closer look I could see her cheeks were tear-stained.
That’s when it hit me … Dad told her.
Fuck.
When she was settled on her bed, I looked up to see Ally glaring at me and thought, shit, before hurrying to take her hand and bring her closer to my mom.
“Mom, this is my girlfriend, Alison. She goes by Ally. And, Ally, this is my mom,” I said, smiling proudly.
“Hello, Ally, it’s so lovely to meet you,” my mom said graciously.
“You too, Mrs. Talbot. I’m glad you’re feeling better,” she said, although neither her expression nor tone suggested she was glad about anything at all. In fact, she looked like she’d eaten something sour.
What the fuck?
Mom looked up at me and I could tell she was surprised by Ally’s rudeness.
That makes two of us.
There was an awkward silence before my mom asked, “How do you like school, Ally?”
Alison shrugged and said, “It’s okay.”
“Do you play any sports or are you involved in any other after school activities?” she asked.
“No,” Ally replied.
That was it … just no.
My mom shot me a helpless look and, feeling uncomfortable and unsure of what to do, I said, “You know what, Mom? I’m sorry, but we’ve got to go. We only had time to pop in so you could meet Ally. I … ah … have homework to do, but I’ll come back as soon as I can.”
I felt bad for lying, but this wasn’t fun for any of us and the need to get out of there was so strong I was seconds away from running out of there with or without Ally.
“Don’t worry about it,” she replied, and I was sure it wouldn’t hurt her feelings if I took Ally away. “Thanks for coming by. It was nice to meet you, Ally.”
Now who’s lying, I thought, almost feeling like smiling.
Ally simply nodded and allowed me to take her hand and pull her out.
Eleven
Sean
I paced nervously in the waiting room of the hospital.
It was silly, to be nervous about going to visit my wife, but after what happened last time, I was unsure of where I stood, which had never been the case with Kelly.
She’d always worn her heart on her sleeve.
She was always happy to see me when I came home, even if I’d only gone to the store. She was thoughtful, loved to make the food I enjoyed, and take care of me in little ways to show me she loved me.
To be uncertain she wanted to see me was a position I’d never been in. One I’d put myself in. And I didn’t like it one bit.
“Sean?” I heard someone call out and looked up to see Connor walking toward me.
My mouth suddenly tasted bitter and I felt a rush of anger. “Connor,” I replied tartly.
He looked down momentarily at his hands before meeting my eyes once again.
“I’m so glad Kelly’s awake. I’m really happy for you and Jake.”
I wanted to lash out. To scream and shout at him like I had the first time I’d seen him standing by my wife’s bedside in the hospital. To rail at him for causing her to be here in the first place.
But I knew Kelly wouldn’t approve. Also, even though it was a hard pill to swallow, I knew I couldn’t blame him for my actions, regardless of whether or not I thought he was the catalyst.
I managed to say, “Thank you,” and then asked, “Have you just seen her?”
He looked over his shoulder toward the direction he’d come, toward her room, and nodded.
“Yeah, she’s in kind of low spirits today, but she’s moving around better.”
I swallowed my retort and it felt like acid on my tongue.
I knew why she was in low spirits, but, by God, it was none of his business and I sure as hell wasn’t going to have a heart to heart with him about the goings on between me and my wife.
When I didn’t reply, Connor said, “You about to head in?”
He was watching me warily, so I gave him a smile that I hope didn’t look like I w
as baring my teeth at him and held up the copy of Pride and Prejudice I was holding.
“Yup. I brought her favorite book.”
Connor shuffled his feet before saying, “Okay, well, I’ll let you get to it. I’ve got to head into the office. Have a good one.”
Before I could respond, he walked out. Which was just as well. I’d about reached my limit of pleasantries I could share with the man who’d essentially blown up my life.
Taking a deep breath, I shook off my trepidation and left the waiting room to go see Kelly. When I reached her door, I paused and looked inside. She was standing by the window, her fingers lightly stroking the petal of one of the flowers in a vase, her eyes on the expanse of grass below.
“Hey,” I said softly, not wanting to startle her.
She flinched and waited a few seconds before turning toward me.
“Hi.”
“I just saw Connor on his way out,” I said as I walked into the room. “Did you have a nice visit?”
Kelly nodded but only looked at me.
“I, uh, brought you this,” I said, holding out the book as I moved toward her. “It’s a new cover … came out a few years ago.”
She accepted the book and said, “Thanks.”
“So, Jake came by with Ally?” I asked, my mind reeling as I searched for something to say that would make the awkwardness go away.
“Yeah.”
Okay, she’s not going to make this easy.
“How’d that go? Ally’s a nice girl, huh?”
“Is she?” Kelly asked dryly, pushing past me to go to her bed.
She put the book on the table and sat down, then got fully in and pulled the blankets up over her.
“Was she not? Did something happen?” I asked, confused. Ally had always been pleasant when I met her. Maybe a little conceited, but she always seemed nice enough.
“Nothing you need to concern yourself with,” was Kelly’s reply.
“Kelly,” I said, stepping toward the bed.
Unwoven Ties Page 4