Creation Mage 7

by King, Dante

  I nodded. “We’re not afraid of getting our hands dirty, not if we don’t have to. It’d be nice if we could do this the diplomatic way, but it looks like they are some bad eggs in the Arcane Council and they’re basically going to start a war.”

  “They do say that if you want to make an omelet then you have to be willing to break some eggs,” the Pirate Queen said. “May as well be bad ones, if that’s the case.”

  “This war promises to be one mother of an omelet,” Janet said grimly.

  “Janet is right,” I said. “And there is most definitely going to be a battle, whether Reginald Chaosbane, even if he were some sort of Trappist monk, wants it or not.”

  “So, those bad eggs and the gullible minions that follow them are going to have to be smashed and whisked up?” Isobel mused. “All so that the rest of the entire Multiverse can enjoy another day?”

  “And another breakfast,” I said.

  Isobel looked very thoughtful. I could tell that we had piqued the interest of the Pirate Queen in no uncertain way.

  “What I find quite ridiculous,” she said, draining her goblet once more and waving at Meng to refill everyone’s cups after she had done hers, “is that there were these Twin Spirits during the Void Wars and I didn’t even hear of the fuckers.”

  “Well, as we said, Admiral,” Barry said, “there was that glamor that the Arcane Council implemented.”

  “Yes, but if they were defeated, I thought that they would have passed through the Spectral realm, surely,” Isobel said, swirling her goblet around in a distracted manner. “If there were ever any two people with a job to finish…”

  I did not mention that the two extremely powerful spirits we were discussing were currently residing in my staff.

  “I’m hundreds of years old, for gods’ sake,” the Pirate Queen was saying to herself.

  “Hundreds of years old?” I said incredulously, trying not to run my eyes over the woman’s outstandingly fantastic body. I failed. Miserably.

  “Well, technically, I’m only twenty-three, but I’ve been in the Spectral Realm for hundreds of years,” Isobel replied, the glint in her gray eyes telling me that my disbelief could very well be interpreted as a compliment.

  I cleared my throat and managed to peel my eyes away from the Pirate Queen’s plunging neckline.

  “Chattin’ with Chopsticks Nutlee,” Barry said, “I believe that you have not been really concerning yourself with Avalonian affairs, Admiral, rather concentrating on cementing your position in the Spectral Realm and running your smuggling operations from here.”

  Isobel Galeflint snorted again. She was as skeptical and untrusting as I would have expected someone surrounded by the untrustworthy and vicious to be.

  “You’re like one of those crazy old uncles or something,” she said absently, “who just says whatever shit pops into his addled old head, no matter if it might land you knee deep in shit water.”

  “You don’t sound totally convinced with the idea of joining us,” I said.

  “My, you’re a perceptive one, Justin Mauler,” the Pirate Queen said scathingly. “And you are correct. You see, I have a lot to lose. More than most.”

  I nodded, racking my brain for a way that I could alleviate her concerns. There was only one way that I could really see, and that was for her to share in the vision that had cast aside the glamor from the minds of all my friends. And to do that...

  “You just need to hold my staff, and all will be revealed, Admiral Galeflint,” I said. “Take hold of my staff, and you’ll see that we’re not trying to pull the wool over your eyes.”

  When the Pirate Queen burst out laughing, along with the other female bodyguards surrounding us, I realized that I should have maybe chosen my words a little more carefully.

  To my surprise, though, Isobel Galeflint got agilely to her feet and came to sit on the arm of the velvet armchair that I was sitting in.

  I could feel Alura and Janet bristling nearby, but they kept their cool.

  “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Isobel asked, a predatory grin spreading across her face.

  “I think I might have come across as meaning something that I didn’t…” I started to say, but Isobel patted my shoulder and my words trailed away. She smelled good; like gunpowder and spices, wood polish and salt.

  “No, I don’t think I’ll be holding your staff this evening, Justin Mauler,” the Pirate Queen said. “Although, I must say, you are a fine little specimen, aren’t you? What realm do you come from?”

  “Earth,” I croaked.

  Suddenly, Isobel Galeflint was all enthusiasm and almost girlish delight. The change from swashbuckling demon dressed in admiral’s bondage costume was remarkable.

  “Earth?” she repeated.

  “That’s right,” I said.

  “As in planet Earth, of the human race?” she asked.

  I nodded mutely.

  The Pirate Queen hauled me bodily to my feet. For someone who was supposed to be a phantom, she was fucking strong and I couldn’t have resisted her, even if I had wanted to.

  “Come with me,” she said curtly. “Meng, Caxton, treat our visitors to anything they might want. Justin Mauler and I will be back soon.”

  “Boss, are you sure you don’t want someone to go with you?” the eel-headed Caxton rasped.

  “If he misbehaves, I’ll tear his fucking spine out,” Isobel said as she led me from the room. “The rest of you dogs will play nice.”

  The Pirate Queen dragged me down a hall by the arm, until we stood outside a door that was constructed out of bones.

  Isobel hissed a few words into the mouth of a skull off to one side, and the door swung soundlessly open. With her tongue between her teeth and every sign of enjoyment on her face, Isobel Galeflint propelled me inside.

  It was a massive chamber, lit by a couple of enormous chandeliers hung with glowing crystal skulls. For the first couple of moments, all I could do was turn on the spot and gaze around in wide-eyed wonder.

  “What the fuck…” I managed after a little bit.

  “Do you like it? Is it authentic?” the Pirate Queen asked me.

  It was like some dude’s wet-dream version of a man cave. There was Earthly pop culture everywhere. Pinball machines and retro arcade machines lined the walls. I saw Mortal Kombat, King of Fighters, Virtua Fighter, Donkey Kong, Centipede, and many more. I didn’t know how the fuck they were powered in a world that didn’t have electricity, but I assumed it was magic of a kind.

  There were all kinds of Earth brand beer bottles arranged along shelves, along with classic American car badges, cigarette memorabilia, and sports teams gear. There were baseballs signed by such greats as Willie Mays, Ty Cobb, and Jackie Robinson. There were some framed movie posters—Captain Blood, The Sea Hawk, and The Crimson Pirate.

  There were records stuffed into treasure chests, figurines of famous comic book characters, and replicas of cars, planes, and tanks. There was everything and anything that any nerd, collector, or enthusiast could really wish to see.

  “It’s fucking incredible!” I said, with absolute honesty.

  Isobel Galeflint’s face lit up with genuine delight. It made her look like a totally different person than the one she had been back in the lounging area. Both personas had been smoking hot, don’t get me wrong, but it was hard to believe that the smile on the face of the woman standing in this cave of wonders was the smile of someone who had killed her own sister and wrested power from the Arcane Council.

  “How did you come by all this stuff?” I asked, my eyes alighting on a pristine issue of Amazing Fantasy #15.

  Isobel shrugged. “I’m a pirate. I collect things. I have certain tastes, and the money and willpower to accumulate them. That’s all.”

  “Have you ever been to Earth?” I asked.

  “No, never,” Isobel said wistfully. “Keeping all those down below under my thumb does not allow me to stray far from Cupido Island, let alone travel to other worlds. Tell me, what is i
t like? It must be fascinating, if these treasures are anything to go by.”

  I grinned to myself.

  “What’s so funny?” Isobel asked me sharply.

  “Nothing,” I said quickly, unable to wipe the smile from my lips. “It’s just ironic, you know. Here we are standing on an island that is fucking levitating and you’re telling me that Earth must be fascinating. If that’s not a case of the grass always being greener, I don’t know what is.”

  “The grass is greener on Earth?” Isobel asked, her nose wrinkling a little.

  “No, it’s just a… Never mind,” I said.

  We continued looking at the awesome collection in silence for a while. Then, Isobel said, “You are not from Avalonia.”

  “No,” I agreed.

  “Yet you are willing to fight against the Arcane Council?” the Pirate Queen said.

  I shrugged.

  “You are willing to die for the people of Avalonia, though, and for this Reginald Chaosbane and all the others?” Isobel pressed.

  “It’s not all about fighting for your country,” I said. “It’s more about fighting for my friends. And for the whole fucking Multiverse, of course. Can’t forget that.”

  “Why?” Isobel asked. “Why get mixed up in it?”

  I didn’t know why I decided to come clean just then. Maybe I couldn’t be assed with avoiding the topic anymore, or maybe it was because the sexy Pirate Queen had shown me inside this secret little room of hers.

  “The Twin Spirits were my parents,” I said simply. “If it’s not up to me to carry on where they left off, then who else does the responsibility fall to? Plus, at the end of the day, if the Multiverse ends, then everyone and everything is totally fucked anyway.”

  I flopped down on one of those dope Space Invader couches, which proved to be just as uncomfortable as it looked. Isobel sat down next to me.

  “Look, Isobel,” I said, becoming very aware of how close we were on that little sofa, “I’ve never been one for all the ‘sirs’ or ‘Admirals’ or any of that. I’ve never been good at recognizing authority, really. So, let me just say this: I know you're a badass and everything, and I know you’ve done some gnarly shit in your time, but you also seem to me like you have a streak of good in you.”

  Isobel Galeflint’s lips drew back from her teeth in an instinctive snarl, and I raised my hands to head her off.

  “I’m just saying,” I said quickly, “that, maybe, doing this might go some way to tipping the scales back in the favor of good for you, that’s all.”

  Isobel’s eyes narrowed, the stormy gray of them becoming unreadable to me under all the mascara, which seemed to be a bit of a pirate prerequisite. However, she didn’t bite my head off, or rip my spine out, which I took to be a promising sign.

  She didn’t say anything though, either.

  “There’s something else, too,” I began. “A Stronghold. Or a castle. Or maybe an underwater fortress. I’m not sure. It belonged to the Twin Spirits. You wouldn’t happen to know where it is, would you?”

  “Maybe,” Isobel said. “But that kind of information is the kind that is worth more than a few thousand buried treasure chests. And I don’t suppose you have even one such chest hiding on your person, do you, Justin?”

  “Nope,” I said. “So you do know where such a Stronghold is located?”

  Isobel simply stared at me. “Maybe,” she repeated.

  “At least, if you can’t join us or tell us where the Stronghold is, at least help Barry Chillgrave out,” I said, giving her what I hoped she saw as a friendly nudge in the ribs.

  “Help him out?” the Pirate Queen asked. “Help him out how? I thought, when I first saw him, that he was here to deliver me some sort of ultimatum. I thought the famous old fuck wanted to try and reclaim his place at the top of pirate hierarchy.”

  She laughed with derision and settled back, as casually as that Space Invaders sofa would allow.

  I chuckled along dutifully because I had seen an opening to help Barry get a little of what he needed. I wasn’t sure if Isobel was going to help us out or not—I hoped so, but I couldn’t be sure. If she denied us, though, it would mean that we might have to ice her; a thought which didn’t sit particularly well with me, I admit, but still.

  One thing that couldn’t hurt us, no matter what the future had in store, was to have Barry Chillgrave operating at one hundred percent. He might have been a ridiculous son of a bitch at the best of times, with a truly astounding ability to say the wrong thing at the wrong time, but there was no denying he was powerful, had seen a thing or two, and had a buttload of tricks up his sleeves.

  “No,” I said to Isobel. “No, no, it’s nothing like that. Barry is semi-retired, but the daft old bastard wants to go out in a blaze of glory, as far as I can see. You noticed that he is weakened and frail, yeah?”

  “I did,” Isobel said. “I was glad to see it too. The last thing I felt like doing today was eradicating a legend.”

  “He’s not going to give you any cause to do that,” I said. “But if you’re not going to go against the Arcane Council with us, maybe you could allow the old guy to tap into some of the Death Energy that is stored here? To regain some of his powers.”

  “And why the hell would I want to give Captain Barry Chillgrave his powers back?” the Pirate Queen asked icily.

  “Because Barry agreed to, or I should say listened to, a deal put forth by Captain Chopsticks Nutlee to try and steal the Death Energy here, purloin your gold, and kill you,” I said succinctly.

  The Pirate Queen’s eyes went from narrow to wide in the space of a heartbeat. Not only that, but that fire that I had seen flickering in their depths earlier leapt up once more.

  “However, he suspected Chopsticks Nutlee of being a dirty double-crossing dog, apt to talk more hot air and be more full of shit than your average politician,” I said. “And was going to bring this bit of skullduggery—if I’m using that term correctly—to your attention when he got a moment. He thought that giving you Chopsticks Nutlee as a gift might go some way to gaining some of your goodwill.”

  Isobel was breathing heavily through her nose. She managed to get herself under control, with some difficulty, and said, “I’m impressed with you being so upfront, Justin Mauler.”

  I waved that away.

  “Like I said, I know you’re a fucking badass and have a hell of a reputation, but there’s something about you that I like—and it’s not just that outfit,” I told her with a small smile.

  I leaned a little closer to the Pirate Queen, figuring that there would be precious few people who had the balls to try and come onto her. Confidence is something that women find attractive, after all. Once more, I was enveloped in that briny, exotic, spiciness that reminded me of vacations and sex in straw-roofed beach huts, somehow.

  “I must say that your candor is going a long way to convince me,” Isobel said, her voice dropping an octave or two. “Besides, like I said, I do so love a bit of rough and tumble…”

  We sat, our faces not more than a couple of hand spans apart, looking into one another’s eyes. I would have loved to lean in and kiss her then, but I couldn’t do that, not before she had given me what I wanted. I didn’t want to make it too easy for her.

  “Very well,” the feared and lauded Pirate Queen said, her breath warm and alcohol-scented against my face, “Barry may replenish his powers at the Death Font.”

  I didn’t know what the fuck the Death Font was, but I doubted it was anything to do with typography. It sounded like Isobel was doing Barry a solid though, so I said, “Excellent. The old fart will be pleased. I owe you one, Admiral Galeflint.”

  Her sea-gray eyes appraised me.

  “And I shan’t bloody well forget it,” Isobel said.

  She got gracefully to her feet and motioned that I should do the same.

  “You and the two other liveuns can pass the night at Castle Goldskull tonight,” the Pirate Queen said graciously, “while Barry replenishes himself by the l
ight of the moon at the Death Font.”

  “That’s good of you,” I said in thanks.

  “It is, isn’t it?” Isobel said, closing the door behind us as we exited the room filled with Earthly memorabilia.

  As we walked back to the seventies-inspired lounge room, I reached out and touched Isobel’s leather-clad elbow.

  “Look,” I said, “I’ve just got to know. This castle of yours, was it always like this or are you just a massive He-Man fan?”

  Isobel smiled widely.

  “I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, Justin Mauler,” she said sweetly. “Surely, that would be what I have learned is called… copyright infringement, wouldn’t it?”

  Chapter 14

  The next morning, I awoke to a soft and insistent tapping sound on the window and the variety of morning wood that made me wonder how I had any blood left in the upper reaches of my body. My brain had conjured the most detailed erotic dreams, featuring Isobel Galeflint. The sound at the window though, was quite puzzling.

  I pushed the luxurious bed covers off me and sat up. At the culmination of the previous evening, after a delightful supper of fresh seafood and a variety of excellent wines, Janet, Alura, and I had all been escorted to separate rooms. I knew that Janet and Alura would have preferred to share my room, and I was in agreement with them, but we were firmly escorted by a guard to our own quarters after dinner.

  “It’s not you are untrustworthy,” Isobel had said, waving an airy hand as we were led away, “it’s just that I don’t trust anyone at all. No point tempting you to get up to any hijinks in the night, is there? I’d hate to have to set this new leaf, which I have apparently turned in letting you into Castle Goldskull, on fire.”

  Barry had, of course, remained behind. He and Isobel were apparently going to head down to the Death Font after a few more hours of talk, when the moon was at the absolute full.

  As I kicked back the covers, swung my legs out of bed, and rubbed the sleep from my eyes, I wondered if the Death Font had done all it was supposed to on Barry.

  The gentle tapping on the window continued.