by Nora Blake
That's when I noticed her hot pink Converse, just like she wore back then, freshly stained from the dirt here at the track. Our shoes and clothes stayed muddy back then, but we wouldn't have had it any other way.
I looked over at my car, then back at her. “You could always paint this one pink.”
She looked at the car and laughed. "No. You'd totally lose your man card. I couldn’t do that to you." She glanced back at her dad. "I should probably head over there. I promised him to a late dinner after. It was really good seeing you."
“It was good seeing you. Hopefully, I’ll see you again soon.” I knew she probably didn’t have to rush off like she was putting off, but I could tell she was a little uncomfortable, so I decided not to mention it.
She nodded. “Yeah … I’d like that.” She hugged me just before walking off.
Nick came over and frowned. "Well, that was a short reunion."
“We haven’t seen each other in years. What’d you expect? I’m starving. Let’s get something to eat.”
"You two were inseparable from what I remember. I may have only been nine, but I remember. Your idiot self liked her and never did anything about it. Instead, your dumb self married the wrong person.”
“It wouldn’t have mattered. She moved, and she didn’t see me that way. So … food.”
“Yeah, food sounds awesome. Did you two at least try to plan some time to hang out again?" he asked as we walked toward my truck and trailer.
“No, she seemed a bit overwhelmed. I’ll message her later. What do you want to eat?” I asked after we got my car onto the trailer. “Can you drive? I need to call my boys before they fall asleep.”
"Yeah." He took my keys and we both got into the truck.
"Just want to call in pizza and eat at your place, or go somewhere?" Nick always stayed the weekends my boys weren't with me. He knew how much I hated the silence.
“Home sounds fine.” I pulled out my phone to call Keeton and Kallon. “I hate these phone calls because I just want them with me. This shit sucks.”
"I know. I hate it for you. But you and Melany had to do what was best and being together just wasn't working out."
“I know. I know.” I put my phone to my ear after dialing their number.
Melany answered which was weird. Usually, she let the boys answer. "Hey, Aaron."
“Hey, Melany. I was calling to tell the boys good night.”
"They're already asleep." Her tone was flat and formal.
I looked at the time. “But it’s only nine. On the weekends their bedtime isn’t until nine-thirty.”
"They were tired. We were busy today, and I took them to the park. I'll have them call you in the morning."
“Oh … All right.” I wanted to argue. I wanted to go off like I normally would, but it would amount to not a damn thing and she’d purposefully find a reason to have them busy when it was my turn to have them.
"Goodnight, Aaron." She hung up before I could say another word.
I set my phone in my lap and leaned my head back against the headrest.
"I know you both said no lawyers when it comes to the kids, but maybe you should get one to fight for more time.”
I looked at my brother. “I don’t know. I don’t want to drag the kids through all that.”
"I know, but only having them every other weekend seems unfair."
“It fuckin’ sucks. I miss seeing them, and lately, I don’t get to talk to them as much. Melany does her best to piss me off, I swear …”
“Is she seeing someone else?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t asked.”
“I’ll find out.”
I shook my head adamantly. “No. Stay out of it.”
He didn’t answer, which meant one thing. He had his mind made up and would do it anyway.
The rest of the ride was silent until he pulled into the driveway and parked. “Do you want to put the car in the garage tonight or tomorrow?”
“Tonight. The last thing I need is some kid trying to take it on a joy ride.”
We got out and walked around to the back of the trailer. “So, in other news, Sarah’s still a hottie, right?” He let the back of the trailer down. “I’d hit that.”
I knew by the playfulness in his voice he wasn’t serious, just trying to piss me off.
“She wouldn’t give you the time of day.”
“How do you know?”
“Because whether it’s been eleven years or not, I know Sarah’s not the type of girl to let a guy like you near her.”
He grabbed his chest. “Ouch.”
“You’re a manwhore. I love ya, but you are.”
He laughed and tossed me my keys. “You know I’m just kidding anyway. I’ll go order the pizza.”
I chuckled. “Good idea.”
After I locked my car in the garage, I went into the house I absolutely hated on my weekends without the boys. It was too quiet.
CHAPTER FOUR
Sarah
I grabbed a pen to write down a location idea I had for an engagement shoot I was doing in a few weeks. The stupid thing wouldn’t work, so I went to digging around in the drawer for another.
I looked at my phone when it vibrated on the desk as I tucked some loose hair behind my ear. I picked up my phone and saw a Facebook message from Aaron. My heart sped up, and I felt extremely anxious. I completely sucked the night at the race. I was so weird and didn’t know how to talk to him. Probably because I was too preoccupied admiring how handsome he was and constantly looking past him waiting to see his wife.
The message was a thumbs up. Clearly, he didn’t mean to send that because I said nothing to him for him to reply to.
Me: ??
I found another pen and wrote down the address to the Jenks’ Farm where I thought the pictures would be perfect. I’d drive out there this week just to make sure it was right.
Aaron: Sorry, I was meaning to message someone else. What are you up to?
Me: Just got home from work. You?
Aaron: Same. Trying to figure out something to eat for dinner. Have you eaten?
I didn’t stop thinking about Aaron or the next time I would see him. There was so much to talk about.
So many good memories.
So many feels.
So many words left unsaid …
Me: Nope.
Aaron: You want to grab a bite to eat?
Me: What’d you have in mind?
Aaron: You still like Mexican?
Me: Are you kidding? Nachos are life!
My cheeks hurt from how big I was grinning.
Aaron: Mexican it is! You want to meet me there or me come get you?
Me: I’ll meet you there.
Aaron: Sounds good. See ya soon.
Me: Los Ranchitos, right?
Aaron: Yep. I mean, is there any other place that’s worthy?
Me: LOL. Nope. What time?
Aaron: Twenty minutes?
I ran my fingers through my unruly hair. I needed to freshen up.
Me: Thirty…
Aaron: See you then.
I looked at what I was wearing. I was nowhere near ready to go to dinner with Aaron and only had a little bit to get ready
Stop, Sarah. It’s just Aaron. Just the guy who laughed at all your stupid jokes, declared you Queen of the Racetrack, and used to be your best friend.
But … it was Aaron. The guy I loved. The guy that no one else could live up to. It was words left unsaid and feelings ignited again.
I walked in and smiled when I saw Aaron wave me over to the booth he was sitting in.
I sat down across from him and set my purse next to me as I smiled at the waitress who had just come over. After she took my drink order, I looked at Aaron.
His smile was still just as adorable as it always had been—contagious.
“How was work?” he asked before dipping a chip in some salsa.
There wasn’t much to say about working at a vape shop. “It was good. Busy.” I
looked at his hands resting on the table. “Did you do that at work?” I kept my eyes on a cut across his left hand.
He looked down at the cut. “Yeah. I was working on a tractor and cut myself on it.”
“Where do you work?”
“Jenks’ Family Farm.”
The waitress handed me my water. “Thanks.”
“Ready to order?”
I nodded without ever looking at the menu. “Chicken nachos.”
She looked at Aaron.
“Steak fajitas.”
The waitress nodded, took our menus, and walked away.
My smile grew. “You work at Jenks’? Really?” I asked, getting excited.
“Yeah, really.” He smiled at me. “Your eyes just lit up, why’s that? Something special about where I work?”
“I was writing down their address when you accidentally messaged me. I want to use their property for a photo shoot. I was gonna drive out there later this week to take a look and ask permission.”
“Do you have time after dinner? I can take you out there and introduce you.”
“I wish I did, but no.” That was a lie. I had time, but I didn’t want to commit to anything after dinner until I knew how this dinner would go. “Can I come out tomorrow after I get off?”
“Sure. I’m usually there until about six.”
I nodded and kept my eyes on him. I focused on his features, really loving his clean shaved beard. His hazel eyes held the same intensity, honesty, and gentleness they always had. The way Aaron carried himself so confidently and without a care of what others thought of him was attractive alone; everything else was just a bonus. I took a drink of my water before I let my thoughts go any further. He was separated from his wife, I think, that part wasn’t clear.
“I’ve really missed you, Dirt Queen.”
I grabbed a chip and dipped it in the salsa. I wondered if his, I missed you, cut him as deep as how much I had missed him. The thought of him, if I let my mind go too far, would rip my heart out.
“I’m sorry I didn’t keep in touch like I promised.” I took a bite of my chip. I felt stupid for feeling like I was about to cry. Being with Aaron was as easy as breathing, the same it had been all those years ago. I hated all the lost time we had.
“Me too. I should have tried harder.”
My eyes burned with tears. “Me too,” I whispered. I cleared my throat and wiped my eyes. “Sorry.”
His own eyes watered, and I had to tell myself it was just spices from the salsa causing it because if he really were tearing up, I’d lose it. I'd bawl like a baby.
“I’m glad you’re here now. Back home with me.”
My heart fluttered.
“I actually don’t live in Monmouth. I live in Galesburg.” I felt dumb having to tell him I was living in my parents’ basement. I stirred my straw around in my water. “I live with my parents still. That’s embarrassing to admit. Life just hasn’t gone my way.”
He shrugged. “In today’s economy, I would too. Housing prices suck.”
“Yeah. I’m trying to save money to get a place of my own. I tried the whole college thing before we moved back, and it wasn’t for me. I couldn’t ever make up my mind and was sick of wasting money on it. Now, I’m just trying to figure out my next step.” I took a drink and looked at him. “So, how old are your kids?”
He pulled his phone out of his pocket and showed me a picture of two very adorable boys. “Keeton is three, and Kallon is four and half.”
“They look so much like you.”
“Everyone tells me that. They’re my universe, Sarah. I love them so much.”
I loved the way his mouth broke into the biggest grin when talking about them. I wanted to ask more questions about his wife, or ex-wife, he steered clear of mentioning, but it wasn’t my place. In his own time he’d explain. Thankfully, our food came and I could eat instead of saying or asking something I shouldn’t.
“They’re my little buddies. I miss not seeing them every day.”
“I’m sorry you don’t get to.” I took a bite of my food.
“Me too. You should come by and meet them this weekend. It’s my weekend to have them.”
My eyes widened, and I almost choked on a chip. I quickly took a drink of water. Once I could form words, I looked at him.
“Wait, what? Aaron, I can’t.”
“Why not?” he asked before taking a bite.
“You don’t know me well enough to introduce me to your kids.”
“Sarah, we’ve known each other since we were in diapers.”
“There’s a really big gap of time we spent apart. We really don’t know each other at all anymore.”
“All right, then let’s get to know each other. I think you’ll find I’m the same idiot I was back then.” He took a drink and leaned back.
I laughed as I looked at him “Aaron.”
“What?” he asked with a grin.
That grin of his made me melt. I hated that after all this time it still had an effect on me. It made this all way more difficult.
I cleared my throat. “Fine, hard question first. What’s going on with this wife of yours you don’t like to talk about?” There goes my plan to just let him tell me about her on his own time. He did open the door for this conversation, though.
“We’ve been separated for a year. The divorce should be finalized Friday.”
“So, you’re technically still married?” I continued to eat as I waited for his response.
“Yes. After Friday, I won’t be.” He looked down at his left hand. There was no ring there. “I took the ring off a few weeks ago.”
I couldn’t decide how to react to that. That particular smile, the one that met his eyes making them crinkle a little, had me thinking way more into this than I should. What the hell was my problem? I needed to get a grip. If he was still technically married, and only recently took his ring off, why was he having dinner with me alone? Again, I was probably overthinking it. No, I was overthinking it.
If a past high school crush had a face, I’d punch it. This should not be so complicated.
Old friends having dinner.
That. Was. It.
“Why do you look so freaked out?”
“Just worried dinner alone isn’t a good idea.”
He scoffed. “Excuse me? And why not?”
“It’s a small town. I don’t want anyone getting the wrong idea about what’s going on here.”
What if his ex wasn’t over him? What if she heard he was out with another woman—friends or not, it could crush her. She could be sitting at home wishing he’d work things out. I wouldn’t be labeled as that girl when I wasn’t even trying to be that girl. Or was I? What exactly were my intentions here? All of this was making my head hurt.
“Everyone knows we were best friends growing up, besides, why would it matter?”
I didn’t know how to answer that. If I did, I’d just have to explain how my fucked up brain worked, and I didn’t want to put him through the torture.
“Sarah … talk to me.”
I looked up from my food. “Our food is getting cold.”
“Don’t care. What’s your deal right now? You’re being weird.”
“You know me, I overthink things. I just don’t want anyone getting the wrong idea.”
He bursts into laughter. “You need to chill the fuck out. Eat your dinner and let the town talk if they want. When have you ever cared what anyone thought?”
“You are in the middle of a divorce and have kids. What gets back to them is important to me.”
He shook his head, still laughing. “You’re really worried about that?”
I shrugged and took a bite of my food. “This is weird. You … married and having kids …” I looked at him. “It’s been eleven years. I don’t really know how to act around you.”
“Barely married. Technically, we’re not. It’s over Friday. And be yourself, nothing less. This shouldn’t be difficult. We were inseparable. I’m no
different than I was when you knew me. We can just pick up right where we left off.”
I wished it were that easy, but where we left off was me being in love and moving before I could ever tell him. It was day after day trying to not think about him. It was tears and bitterness when a year had passed without a word from him. It was my stubbornness to not reach out since he didn’t. Where we left off must’ve been much different for him than it was me.
“So, your ex isn’t some crazy person who is going to hear you were out with some girl and come hunt me down?”
“If it’ll make you feel better, I’ll tell her I had dinner with a friend, although, she’s going to think it’s weird I’m even telling her that.”
“So, she is crazy? You didn’t deny it.”
His shoulders shook with laughter. “I can promise you she isn’t interested in who I’m having dinner with.”
I relaxed some. “Okay.”
“So, we’re good? I can start eating without being worried you’re about to bolt?”
I nodded. I couldn’t tell him it wasn’t just that I was worried about what would get back to his ex or how making her upset could affect his kids. It was so much more than that. I picked at my food, not really hungry anymore.
“Sarah.”
I looked up from my food.
His solemn expression worried me. That look always meant one thing. He was about to try to have a serious conversation with me. I will never forget the time in middle school when some girls spread stupid rumors around about me, and I tried to play it off like I didn’t care. Aaron knew better, though. He could always read my face and know exactly what I was thinking or when I was hiding something.
“If I thought for one second that dinner with you could be a bad thing, I wouldn’t be here. I would never do anything to confuse my kids worse than they already are. Melany is my ex. Whether or not she gets upset about this, which I don’t see why she would, she has no right to. If I let her dictate my every move out of fear I’ll piss her off, I would have no life at all.” He looked down at his food and pushed it to the side.