by Kadin, Karri
“I’ll wake Trevor,” she said.
The three friends explored the forest around the cabin, searching for Morgan. After an hour with no sign of her, Matt’s fear was apparent. He never stopped moving, his hair stood on end from his repetitive grasping of it with his hands, and his eyes were glossy from trying to hold his tears back. Trevor took charge of the situation. Using a map of the area he found in the cabin, he mapped out a search grid one mile around the cabin each way.
“I don’t think she could have gotten far in the dark,” Trevor said. “If we need to, we can go further out but what I have laid out already will take us some time. We will use the map and a compass to track the areas we have already searched so we don’t end up in the same place over and over again.” Trevor had the map laid out on a large boulder and pointed out the grid areas. They agreed and set out following Trevor’s lead.
Allison and the boys were spaced out six feet from each other as they walked the forest in a line. The scent of blood caught Allison’s attention. Her core warmed as her heart began to race. She glanced around until her eyes landed on a bloody handprint on a tree a few paces ahead.
“Guys, over here!” Allison yelled. She dashed over to the tree only to step directly into a puddle of blood near its base. Allison scrambled back, wiping her boot on the vegetation around her. Trevor and Matt stood next to her, aghast.
“That’s a lot of blood,” Matt said. He was frantic now. His forehead was creased with worry and he paced back and forth. He was sweating and probably getting dehydrated. His body was still damaged from the beating, evidenced by his bruising and worsening limp.
“We don’t know if it is hers. It could be anyone’s. It could belong to an Infected she killed.” Trevor’s voice was steady, but his face was as white as chalk. He turned in a circle looking all around the area.
“I should’ve went looking for her last night. I was so positive she would come back! Where the fuck is she?” Matt almost screamed. Allison walked around the blood puddle, looking for a blood trail to follow, but found none.
“Maybe she found a town and stopped there.” Allison didn’t know if she was trying to convince him or herself of this.
“Allison has a point. I bet there are quite a few towns near here that are full of people. Most people consider this area clear of Infected. Until last night I was among them. We can head toward the closest one and see if she is there.” Trevor spoke with optimism in his voice. As he looked at the map his face fell. “The nearest town is only half a day away, but it is in the opposite direction Morgan was heading last night. It’s highly unlikely she went there. The nearest town that is in the direction she was heading is almost a day’s walk away. We can’t make it today.”
“I’m going now. I have to know where she is. I can’t leave her. She’s all I have.” Matt reached for the map but Trevor quickly moved it out of reach.
“No. You are in no shape to go now. You have been going nonstop all day and let’s be honest, you are not in the best shape right now. It doesn’t do you or Morgan any good if you keel over dead in the forest looking for her because you refused to rest and hydrate yourself.” Trevor spoke firmly but with no hostility in his voice. “And she is not all you have. You have us. I know what she means to you. I know how important and rare still having family is now. We will find her. But we will do it safely and together.” As Trevor finished speaking, Matt lunged for the map. He was slow and Trevor was easily able to dodge him. Matt tried for the map again but this time instead of dodging him Trevor embraced him in a bear hug, pinning Matt’s arms to his sides. Matt went down to his knees and Trevor went with him still holding him tight. “I’m not going to let you do this. You are not alone. We will find her together,” Trevor said as he held Matt tightly. Matt was by no means small but looked childlike as he shook in Trevor’s arms. Trevor spoke with such authority and empathy Allison couldn’t imagine anyone not willingly doing exactly as he commanded in this moment. Suddenly Matt hung his head and began bawling; large tears streamed down his face and landed on Trevor’s shirt. Allison got on her knees behind Matt and embraced him as he leaned on Trevor crying. They stayed there, just like that, until Matt had no tears left in him.
“Let’s go back to the cabin,” Matt said as he stood and began the long walk back. Trevor and Allison followed. Trevor reached for her hand, stroking her little finger with his until she laced her fingers through his. She held onto it tightly, desperately, as her worry for Morgan consumed her thoughts.
“I’m going to search out here around the cabin one more time for anything that may be useful before it gets dark,” Trevor said as he released Allison’s hand.
“I’ll look in the house some more,” Allison said.
“And I’ll drink,” Matt said as he held out a hand to Trevor. Trevor handed him the flask from his pocket.
“It’s whiskey now. I found some on the bookcase,” Trevor said.
Inside, Matt sat quietly on the couch taking small sips from the flask every few minutes as Allison looked through the cabin for anything they may have missed. She was about to sit down, convinced they had thoroughly searched the cabin the first go-round, when a small shiny object under the recliner caught her eye. She got on her knees and reached for the object. It was small and cool in her hand. When she looked at it she gasped, startling Matt and causing him to spill some of the liquor from the flask onto his shirt.
“Shit!” he said as he wiped at his shirt. “What did you find?”
“It’s a keychain,” Allison said with quivering lips. Her heart was beating so violently all she could hear was her own pulse. She felt the familiar warmth wash over her body as it stiffened and she fell back.
A girl with this keychain in her hand. Telling Allison to calm down, everything will be okay. Allison feels hot and confused. She is so furious. Her stomach is in knots from hunger. This girl is lying. Nothing will be okay, nothing will be okay ever again. Allison wants to hit her, hard, make the girl hurt. The girl is pleading with Allison to calm down but Allison is just getting more upset. She lunges for the girl, and the girl drops the keychain. No, not just a girl. Gabby. Gabby is the girl.
Allison awoke on the bed in the cabin with both Matt and Trevor sitting on the floor nearby. Matt’s head was resting on the wall as he snored lightly. Allison tried to sit up but her head was heavy. As soon as she moved, Trevor was by her side on the bed.
“Hey, take it easy,” Trevor said.
“What happened?” Allison asked, lying still on the bed, hoping the fog in her brain would clear soon.
“I don’t really know. You had a flashback. But you didn’t just come out of it. After you stopped shaking you cried and screamed but you weren’t really awake. Then you were just quiet like you were sleeping. We couldn’t wake you. You’ve been out for a few hours. We were worried.” Trevor placed his forehead lightly against hers.
“I found a keychain. It was my friend Gabby’s. She was definitely here and I did something awful to her.” Allison began to cry. Trevor stretched out on the bed next to her, wrapping her in his arms as she cried herself to sleep.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Allison
Allison awoke the next morning just as the sun was rising above the trees. Trevor was beside her curled on his side with his arm draped over her waist. She moved slowly to not wake him as she got up out of bed. Matt was sprawled out on his back like a starfish on the living room couch, covers twisted, his hair askew.
Allison took this rare time alone to write in her journal. She killed Gabby. She didn’t know why, but she did it. She flipped through the pages trying to decide where to go next after they found Morgan, but she kept finding herself on the page about Gabby’s death. The thought of further exploring her time as an Infected made her want to vomit. I don’t want to do this anymore. I’m done.
Would Gabby forgive me? She held the open journal to her chest and tears fell from her eyes. Of course she wouldn’t! I don’t even forgive me. She pull
ed the journal from her chest and scribbled “I’m sorry RIP” at the bottom of Gabby’s page. She let hers tears soak the page. Gabby was dead. Sweet, smart, loyal Gabby, dead. But Morgan was still alive. She had to be. I have to find Morgan. Allison closed her journal and began quietly fixing breakfast for everyone. They would need a hearty meal before their long hike today. All that mattered now was finding Morgan and making sure she was safe.
After breakfast the friends gathered up their supplies silently, making sure to not leave anything behind.
“Before we go I need to show you guys what I found last night,” Trevor said, and he led them to the side of the cabin. He pointed to a metal door on the side of a small hill partially covered with bushes. “It’s an old root cellar.” He opened the door.
“Holy shit!” Matt said. “Uncle Nick was a badass!”
The walls were covered with hooks holding guns. Boxes of ammunition covered the floor. A few boxes seemed to be full of dynamite.
“Oh my god. What should we do with it?” Allison asked.
“Save it for a rainy day,” Trevor said. He closed the door, covering it with brush and dirt, making sure it wasn’t easy to spot, and then they headed out.
They walked in silence for hours before they stopped to rest. They hadn’t seen any sign of Morgan and each step felt like a gut punch of guilt that threatened to turn Allison into a crying ball of useless girl. Matt’s face remained hard and flat, not giving away his concern in the slightest. But his eyes told a different story. His eyes glistened like tears were right there on the edge waiting for the slightest reason to bust to the surface and run down his cheeks. Trevor had his normal cool, calm, and collected demeanor. Allison decided this was his military training in action because no one could be that naturally put together in this situation.
Allison sat on a log eating a protein bar while Matt and Trevor quietly looked over the map and discussed the last part of their hike.
“I need to tell you guys something,” Matt said. “I’ve been debating telling you ever since Morgan left because I know she will be pissed at me if I do. But when we find her I think it’s something you need to know, to understand her better. Especially you, Allison. I know she’s told you some of the things she has gone through since the world went to shit but she left out the worst part.”
Matt looked at Allison and a tear escaped out of the corner of his eye and ran down his cheek.
“The night our family was killed, we made it out of the house with our little sister. She was only a few months old. She was our parents’ surprise baby. They were really scared that Morgan would be upset. I kinda was but I didn’t show it. Morgan on the other hand was thrilled. Our parents let her pick her name. Morgan named her Eudora because it means “good gift.” She was so attached to her, people often thought she was a teenage mom and Morgan actually seemed to love that.
“The night we escaped, Morgan had her in this front carrier attached to her chest and we were hiding in a dumpster because it was so dark and Infected seemed to be everywhere. We didn’t know what to do. Eudora started crying and we could hear the Infected getting closer. Morgan pulled Eudora’s head into her chest to quiet her until we couldn’t hear the Infected anymore. When Morgan finally let go, Eudora was dead. She had suffocated.”
Allison’s breath caught in her chest. Her hand went to her mouth, covering her jaw-dropped expression. Poor Morgan. No wonder she fucking hates me.
Trevor stood, arms crossed, looking at the ground.
“Morgan blames the Infected for a lot of things but Eudora’s death is at the top of that list.” Matt wiped tears away.
“I am sorry, Matt. I am sorry for everything I have done to your family.” Allison held back tears.
“You shouldn’t blame yourself,” Matt said. “I truly mean what I said before. You were infected; it wasn’t your fault. Morgan’s way of coping is to blame the Infected, it’s easier than blaming herself.”
“But if I had never infected your uncle none of this would have happened.”
“If it wasn’t you, it would have been someone else. No one escaped from this tragedy, we all just played different parts. They were all shitty parts, just shitty in different ways. I don’t blame you and don’t let Morgan or anyone else blame you. The disease is to blame.”
Matt gently hugged Allison and they both softly cried together. As she pulled away from Matt, she caught a glimpse of Trevor wiping tears from his eyes before he turned so she couldn’t see his face. They set off again in the direction of the town where they hoped to find Morgan. Allison interlaced her fingers with Trevor’s as they walked. They walked for almost an hour before Trevor spoke.
“I wasn’t home when everything started really going down. I was on leave vacationing at Myrtle Beach. It was a madhouse there. I hid out in my hotel room for a week before I could make it to my car. I hooked up with a National Guard unit trying to keep the peace. I spent a few weeks helping them before we lost so many people there was no use in staying together anymore. We had not heard from command in days and we had no fight left in us. I had tried to reach my family a few times but always got a busy signal, then the phones stopped working altogether. So, I went home. I wish I had never gone home. I found my family in parts in our house. I had seen that so many times since the outbreak started but seeing my own family that way was too much.” Trevor stopped walking.
Allison stayed by his side, squeezing his hand in hers. Matt stood in front of Trevor, empathy draping his face as he listened to Trevor speak. “I took this gun from my dad’s dresser.” Trevor patted the gun at his side. “It was still locked up. Whatever happened, happened so fast he didn’t even have time to try to defend himself or our family. I took it out, made sure it was loaded, held it to my temple, and pulled the trigger. It jammed.” Trevor spoke slowly. His eyes glossed over as he stared ahead, not really seeing what was in front of him. “It was almost like my dad had been there stopping me from making the biggest mistake of my life.” Trevor ran his hands through his hair as he looked at his friends. “I just thought that was something you guys should know because you are my family now.” He wiped away a few tears before he started walking again. “Now let’s go find Morgan.”
A few hours later Matt, Trevor, and Allison arrived at Wellspring. The gate had multiple guards, more guards roamed the streets, and security in general seemed tight compared to New Harbor. The guards wore army fatigues and all carried rifles. After being questioned and scanned by a medical worker in green scrubs and a mask they were quickly ushered into the town. A man gave them a town map and informed them they made it just in time for new resident orientation. Trevor tried to argue with the man, telling him they were just passing through and they didn’t need to attend orientation but the man insisted any new people that entered the gate had to attend orientation, even if they did not intend on staying. Matt showed the man a picture of Morgan but he said he hadn’t seen her. He took them to an old gymnasium and told them they would be provided with all the information they needed during orientation and if Morgan was in the town she would be at the gym too.
The gym was crowded and had tables set up all over the place with people lined up in front of each one. The air was hot and humid and Allison could feel her shirt sticking to her back within a few minutes of being inside. People were shoulder to shoulder and it made moving around the room difficult. Each table had a sign hanging from it identifying its function. Clothes, housing, medical, food, jobs. The tables seemed to never end. But the one that caught Allison’s attention most was labeled “lost loved ones.” She grabbed the boys and pointed at the sign as she began pulling them to the line.
“We may be able to find Morgan there!” Allison exclaimed. Matt and Trevor smiled as they followed her.
While they stood in line, they looked around the gym taking everything in. This place was better organized than New Harbor and seemed to have a lot more people. People in matching blue shirts directed everyone to the appropriate line and kept th
ings flowing smoothly.
“Hopefully Morgan found her way here . . .” Allison froze. A familiar voice spoke gently to someone at the front of the line. Allison stepped to the side, leaving the queue. Trevor reached for her arm but she brushed him away. She searched the crowd in a daze. Her eyes landed on the woman behind the “lost loved ones” table. It was Gabby. Time slowed, Allison’s heart raced, her breathing quickened.
“Gabby,” Allison breathed.
Gabby swiftly leaped over the table and made a beeline for Allison. Her blue eyes glistened with tears and she was smiling her perfect smile. She threw her arms around Allison, crying as she held her.
“I thought you were dead. I thought . . . I thought I killed you.” Allison’s words came out in a sob. Gabby pulled Allison’s face to her shoulder and they both dropped to the ground. Allison clung to her. Allison lifted her tear stained-face from Gabby’s shoulder and stared at her in disbelief.
“You remember that?” Concern flashed on Gabby’s face. “Let’s go outside to talk.” She stood up and helped pull Allison to her feet. Allison kept her arm wrapped around her friend. Gabby was shaking. She looked back at the “lost loved ones” table and called to the man behind it. “Hey Jake, I need to go. Cover for me please?” Gabby didn’t wait for an answer before she began pulling Allison outside. Trevor and Matt followed. Gabby narrowed her eyes at the boys as they followed them.
“They’re with me,” Allison said. Gabby turned to the boys.
“Nice to meet you two handsome devils. I can’t wait to know you, but I need a moment with Allison. Alone.” Gabby used what Allison called her “pretty blonde voice,” which made every male in hearing distance melt. The effect worked on Matt, and he gave her a half smile as Trevor pulled him away to sit on a bench near the door.