by Kadin, Karri
“Are you talking about the Infected over there?”
“Yes.”
“Fuck that! Killing an Infected isn’t murder, it isn’t bad, it’s self-defense!”
“It still hurts. She was a person. Like there’s this burning in my stomach that won’t go away. Like my heart is being torn from my body. Like I can’t breathe . . .” Allison fell to her knees and wailed.
Morgan wrapped Allison in a tight hug, pressing her cheek to the top of Allison’s head. Allison buried her face in Morgan’s chest as she cried.
“You defended yourself. Anyone else would have done the same thing. If I saw the Infected that turned my uncle, that killed my family, I would kill them too. They should all die.”
Allison’s tears slowed, and she pulled herself from Morgan’s arms.
“So, I should die? I killed so many innocent people and it all started here, with her. This is where I became a monster.”
“That is not what I meant. You are not infected anymore. You are cured.”
“But at one time I wasn’t.”
“But you are now and that is what matters.”
The girls sat in silence. Allison twisted her hair around her finger, letting it unravel just to twist it again. Morgan drew pictures in the dirt with her finger, avoiding looking at Allison.
“I do get it,” Allison said. “The urge to kill the Infected.” She clasped her hands in her lap to stop herself from playing with her hair. “I even agree with killing them in self-defense, when you have to. But if possible, I want to cure the last of the Infected, not kill them. It wasn’t their fault they were infected.”
“Yeah. A cure is good if it’s even fucking possible.” Morgan continued drawing in the dirt, never taking her eyes off the swirls she traced.
After burying the bones, at Allison’s insistence and Morgan’s indignation, they continued on their way. Darkness was setting in, and none of them wanted to be walking in the dark. Allison knew they were close to the cabin and urged everyone to continue. As the sun kissed the horizon with the last light of day and filled the sky with watercolors on the top of a hill, the cabin came into view.
Chapter Twenty-One
Allison
Allison stared at the cabin, unable to move. Fuck. This is it.
Morgan took Allison’s hand in hers. “You okay?”
“Not really.” Allison bit her lip.
“But you will be. You can do this.” Morgan smiled. Matt patted Allison’s shoulders and rested his chin on top of her head.
Matt said, “Well, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to our abode for the night. I made reservations in advance so I hope their turndown service is on point. It may look worn and rugged on the outside, but don’t worry, the inside is sure to match!” He squeezed Allison’s shoulders and then said to Morgan, “Hey sis, let’s walk around the place and make sure no one is holed up in our home away from home.” Allison smiled at the twins as they walked away.
“Do you need a minute?” Trevor asked, slipping his hand around her waist.
“A lifetime,” Allison groaned.
“Behind that door are answers.” Trevor pointed to the green front door of the cabin.
“Or nightmares.”
“Probably both. Most likely both. But you’ve been there, done that. You can’t change the past. But you can learn from it. So let’s go learn what this cabin really means to you, what really happened here. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Together.” Trevor enveloped her in his arms. She buried her face in his chest, breathing him in, soaking her tears in his shirt. He pulled away, taking her face in his hands as he looked down at her.
“What if I can’t handle what’s behind that door?” Allison peered up at him, grasping his hands as he held her face, his thumbs gently stroking her cheeks.
“You can handle anything. It isn’t just you anymore. Together. We will do this together.” He pressed his lips to her head, the stubble on his chin scratching her forehead. She leaned into him, soaking up his touch. He pulled away and held his hand out toward her.
“Let’s go,” he said.
“Together,” she said, taking his hand.
Trevor took it upon himself to check inside the cabin before letting everyone follow. Matt tried to help but Trevor insisted he rest. Once they knew it was safe they all went inside and locked the place up tight so no one could come in behind them. The lights weren’t working, but candles and lanterns were all strewn around the cabin, so they lit those. They foraged the cabinets for food and were pleasantly surprised to find them heavily stocked with canned goods. There would be no rationing tonight. The cabin was small, only three rooms. The living room and kitchen were combined and could be crossed by Trevor in ten steps. The living room was pretty bare: a couch, recliner, fireplace, and bookshelf with a radio on it. Matt leaned back into the recliner smiling.
The kitchen was a few cabinets, a sink, a small refrigerator, and a large hotplate. No oven or even a stove. Trevor turned the handle on the sink.
“No water,” he said.
“Aww, man!” Morgan whined.
Allison walked over and stood in front of the sink. She traced her hands across the edge. The sink. The sink from her flashback. The sink once covered in the man in the overalls’ blood. She swallowed hard trying to push the knot in her throat away but it remained.
“There was a generator out back but it was out of fuel. We can start a fire and warm up some food. I’ll go get wood.” Trevor headed toward the door.
“I’ll come with you,” Matt said.
Allison wandered down the hall to a small bathroom. She twisted the handle on the faucet but no water came out.
“No water in the bathroom!” Allison shouted. “A shower would have been nice.” She walked a little further down the narrow hall and searched a large storage closet full of useless items before she reached a small bedroom at the end. A small nightstand and fluffy queen bed occupied the entire space. She opened the tiny closet in the bedroom and found it full of clothes, towels, and blankets.
When Matt and Trevor returned with firewood. The friends warmed up their cans of food and ate happily, laughing and talking while filling their empty bellies. They sprawled out in front of the warm fire.
“So is this the place?” Matt asked. Allison nodded her head.
“How do you feel?” Morgan asked.
“Weird. It’s like I know this place, but I don’t know it at the same time. I feel like it’s important but I still don’t know why.”
“Give it time. This isn’t an exact science,” Trevor said.
“I’m going to look around some more.” Allison got up and headed to the bathroom. As she was digging through the vanity, praying she would find some tampons to add to her dwindling supply, she heard Morgan and Matt screaming at each other in the living room. She rushed out into the hall, almost running over Trevor in the process. They both quickly made their way to the living room. Morgan was clutching a large photo album to her chest, tears streaming down her face.
“You!” Morgan screamed at Allison with such an intense stare the hair on Allison’s neck stood on end.
“What? Morgan, what’s wrong?” Allison began taking a few tentative steps toward her friend.
Morgan stumbled back so fast she almost fell over the couch. She widened the distance between Allison and herself, keeping Allison locked in her frigid stare.
“You ruined my life!” Morgan tossed the photo album at Matt. “Look! It’s in there! This was Uncle Nick’s cabin!”
Matt picked up the photo album. He opened it and sat on the couch, allowing his body to hit it with a thud. He thumbed through a few pages before closing it and placing it on the couch next to him. Their uncle. I killed their uncle. Allison trembled.
“She’s right. This must have been his cabin. That book is full of pictures of him and our family.” Matt hung his head as he spoke. Allison’s lip quivered as tears rushed to her eyes. I destroyed their family.
Morgan lunged at
Allison but Trevor intercepted her and held her tight as she fought against his body, trying to reach Allison. Matt stayed on the couch, staring at the floor.
“I hate you! I will kill you! You ruined everything!” Morgan whimpered as she spoke but never lost her intense stare.
“I’m so sorry, Morgan, Matt. I don’t know what to say. I’m so sorry.” Tears flowed down Allison’s cheeks. She collapsed to her knees and continued to cry.
“Let me go! Let me go!” Morgan screamed. Allison’s heart ached to comfort her friend.
“I will if you will calm down.” Trevor held eye contact with Morgan.
“Fine!” Morgan pulled away from Trevor, positioning herself near the door as she picked up her pack. “Let’s go, Matt.”
“What?” Matt looked up from the floor for the first time, his eyes glossy. Poor Matt.
“I said let’s go.” Morgan stared at her brother.
“You’ve got to be kidding,” Matt said. “It’s fucking dark outside, and who knows if there are Infected out there?”
“There’s an Infected in here!”
“You know that’s not true. Allison isn’t sick anymore.”
“She killed our family. I can’t be around her another minute.”
“It’s not a black-and-white situation, Morgan.”
“It is to me.” Morgan swung open the door, slamming it against the wall. Matt grabbed her shoulders and prevented her from exiting. Her open palm landed on Matt’s cheek as she flung around to face him. Matt stumbled back, a perfect pink handprint plastered on his face. Morgan pulled her pack onto her back and stormed into the darkness. Matt ran after her.
“Do not follow me, Matt!” Morgan’s voice echoed through the trees.
“Stop! You could die out here. Come back so we can talk about this.” Matt hurried to catch up with her.
Allison and Trevor followed the siblings out the door. Trevor pulled a flashlight from his pocket and shined it ahead, locking it onto the twins. Matt caught up with Morgan and grabbed her hand, pulling her to a stop. They faced each other, arguing, almost out of range of the flashlight.
Allison’s hair stood on end as every nerve ending stood at attention. A chill crept into her bones as all the heat in her body seemed to move to her core. A rustle of leaves and footsteps sounded off to the side. Her eyes began adjusting to the darkness just in time to catch the form of a person running toward her friends. Threat. Every sense in her body heightened as she dashed into action.
“Look out!” she screamed, but not in time. The figure slammed into Matt sending him to the ground. Morgan stumbled back and fell too.
Allison raced toward them, Trevor right on her heels. Her heart pounded in her ears. Matt pressed his hands to the person’s chest as the form snarled, jaws snapping at his face. Infected. Matt reached for the knife on his hip. The Infected pinned Matt’s hand to his side just as he grabbed the hilt of his blade. Allison let the rage within her boil over as she slammed into the Infected, hurling them both onto the dirt near Morgan.
Morgan scrambled to her feet as another Infected came up behind her, grabbing her backpack. She screamed and dropped the bag to the ground. Matt grabbed the feet of his sister’s attacker, bringing it to the ground as Morgan sprinted off into the woods.
Allison pinned her assailant, pressing all her weight into its neck as it clawed at her arms. She felt a little give as its hyoid bone snapped beneath her hands. It gargled breath as she cut off the airflow to its lungs. Adrenaline pushed the heat through her body, excitement pulsated under her skin sending a smile to her lips. She pushed the excitement back, pressing her lips together into a flat line. Morgan’s scream echoed through the woods.
Allison looked up as Matt sunk his blade into the temple of the Infected on the ground. Trevor was holding his own, but two Infected flanked him. Morgan was nowhere in sight. Fear flooded Allison. She embraced the heat, letting it flow freely throughout her body. The smile spread across her face again as the rush overtook her. She twisted the head of the Infected beneath her, a sharp crack announcing she’d internally severed its spine. It went limp.
Allison ran toward Trevor just as one of his assailants leaped toward him. As the Infected was midair, Allison jumped and swung, landing a fist in the Infected’s chest. It fell back with Allison on top of it, stopping with an abrupt jolt as they hit the ground. Allison’s fist didn’t stop. It plowed straight through the Infected’s chest and out its back, leaving her fist in contact with the bloody soil beneath the Infected’s now-still body.
Trevor was in fighting stance, knife in hand, dodging every move the last Infected made. The Infected screeched each time Trevor avoided its grasp, frustration creased across its face. It lunged at Trevor just as he brought the knife forward, sinking it into its eye. The Infected clawed at its face as it fell to its knees, cries of pain erupting from its lips. Trevor pulled the knife from its eye socket as it swung its bloody hands in his direction. Trevor embedded the knife in the Infected’s temple and it toppled to the ground in an unmoving heap. Allison felt the heat retreat back to her core as her heart rate slowed to normal and the euphoria of bloodshed passed. She shuddered as she tried to wipe the feeling from her mind.
Darkness had overtaken the forest. The moonlight filtered through the trees, casting ominous shadows across the forest floor. Matt shined his flashlight into the dense trees.
“Morgan!” Matt turned, looking all around as he screamed for her.
“Morgan! Please come back,” Allison called.
“Stop,” Trevor warned. “You both need to be quiet. We don’t know how many more may be out here.” He pulled his knife from the brain of a dead Infected.
“I thought this area was clear?” Allison asked.
“It’s supposed to be. We can’t leave her out here,” Matt said.
“We need to get back to the cabin to hole up for the night,” Trevor said. “We can’t help her if we’re dead. Going after her now is a suicide mission. She has a better chance surviving out there without us calling out to her. That would only attract more Infected to her and us.” He wiped the blade of his knife across the shirt of one of the bodies before sheathing it back into his boot.
“We can look for her in the morning,” Allison said. “Morgan is smart. I’m sure she’s found a safe hiding spot and is just waiting until the sun comes up to come back to us.” I hope.
Matt turned and headed back to the cabin without a word. Allison and Trevor followed close behind, keeping an eye on their surroundings. Allison’s body relaxed when the flashlight landed on the cabin.
Once they were all inside, Matt plopped down on the couch, allowing his head to lean back till he was looking up at the ceiling, his whole body limp. Allison turned the lock on the door and jiggled the handle to make sure it worked. Trevor lit a couple candles and covered the windows with towels and blankets. Matt’s face was covered in dirt and tears. His eyes were red and swollen.
Trevor handed Matt a flask which he eagerly drank from, scrunching his face as the liquor poured down his throat. Allison sat next to him and held her hand out for the flask. He passed it to her silently before allowing his body to go limp again. Allison took a long gulp, shivering as the liquid burned her throat but made her belly feel comfortably warm. She passed the flask back to Trevor who took a quick sip before putting it into his pocket.
“I’ll keep watch first,” Trevor said. “We can go in shifts. I think it’s best for one of us to be awake at all times. Not just for our safety but in case we hear Morgan outside and she needs our help.” He moved the recliner to face the door before sitting in it, his pistol on his lap.
“When she comes back, wake me up,” Matt said.
“I’m so sorry, Matt. This is all my fault.” Allison’s voice quivered.
“You didn’t do this. You didn’t make her leave.”
“I killed your family. I—” Matt quickly shifted his body to face Allison, his eyes meeting her gaze.
“You were sick.
You had no control over what you did. Morgan’s hurt and is taking all that shit and putting it on you. But you are not the cause of her hurt. The outbreak has caused so many people to do so many fucked up things. You have a legitimate excuse; you were fucking sick! There are others who have done worse just to save their own skin.” Matt patted Allison’s leg. “You take the bed. I’ll sleep here on the couch so I’ll be right here when she comes back. She will come back. She really can take care of herself when she needs to.”
Allison stood as Matt stretched out on the couch with his back to Allison and Trevor. Trevor stood, taking Allison’s hands in his and giving them a tight squeeze. She looked at him with a half-smile before he pulled her into him and folded his arms around her, holding her tightly, resting his chin on her head. She let her body fall into his, slipping her arms around him, holding him right back.
The dawn light peeked through the narrow window and found a direct path to her eyes, which ached from crying herself to sleep. Allison stretched on the covers, appreciating how much better it felt to wake up in a bed instead of a sleeping bag. She sat up when she realized no one ever woke her for her guard shift. Her chest tightened with worry. She slid her boots on before rushing down the hall. Matt was at the table eating something from a bowl. Trevor was sprawled out on the couch, asleep and lightly snoring. Matt glanced up from his bowl and held up his hand, gesturing for Allison to remain quiet. She sat at the table with Matt. There was no sign of Morgan.
“He’s only been asleep for a few hours. I don’t want to wake him,” whispered Matt between bites. “I couldn’t sleep much so I just stayed on watch. I thought Morgan would be back by now.”
“I did too. Should we go look for her?” Allison opened a can of mixed fruit. I can’t believe she’s not back. This is all my fault. We should have looked for her.
“Yeah, I think we should. I feel stupid for letting her leave. I thought she would come back. We need to all stick together.” Allison nodded in agreement.