by Wood, Lauren
Whatever she was feeling seemed to be trickling away until she came to her senses and broke away. She stepped back several feet, crossing her arms and refusing to look me in the eye.
“What happened, Tara? Something’s obviously bothering you. Please don’t shut me out.”
“This is ridiculous,” she groaned, dragging her hands across her face in exasperation. “This whole thing is ridiculous. I mean, what are we really doing here, Jason?”
My lips parted but nothing came out. What were we doing here It was the question I had been asking myself for days.
“We don’t even know each other,” she murmured under her breath.
“Don’t say that,” my lips tightened as anger surged up inside. “Sure, we have a lot to learn about each other, but…you know it doesn’t feel that way. I feel like I know you. It doesn’t make any sense, but…that’s how I feel.”
It was my biggest fear—to not know the person I was with. Tara and I weren’t even technically together, and I was already bursting with the need to believe I could trust her. I needed to know she could never hide things from me the way Anna had.
“We’re two different people.” Her lip trembled as she stared at her feet. “I’m broke and doing a nannying gig because my life was in shambles and I had nothing else to do. You have everything going for you. You can have anything you want.”
“I want you,” I blurted, knowing I had never spoken truer words in my life. “I didn’t see any of this coming, Tara. I didn’t expect to feel this way about you, but this is more than just accidentally falling into bed together. You and I obviously have some kind of deep connection. We’ve tried like hell to fight it…but here we are.”
The doubts were crashing around inside of her. You could see it written all over her face, but I couldn’t bear to watch her give up on this. I rushed forward and scooped her into my arms again, biting into her bottom lip. We moaned into each other’s mouths and urgently pulled at every inch of skin we could get our hands on.
As my tongue rolled over hers, we ripped off each other’s clothes as if our lives depended on it. Once she was completely naked with her bare flesh pulled up against mine, I lifted her into the air and swung her legs around my waist. We crashed against the wall, still standing, and I thrusted deep inside of her.
Her nails clawed into my skin as I moved inside of her, thinking if this was all we ever had to do, nothing could bring us down. I wished there was some universe where there was nothing but our skin and the way we could make each other feel. I knew there were so many things that needed to be said, but I lost myself in the bliss of her body and pretended that was all there was.
26
Tara
“That didn’t fix anything,” I reminded Jason as his eyes burned into me. My fingers danced along the edge of his lips as I admired his rugged handsomeness, knowing he must have thought he was really clever to sidestep everything by lulling me off into bed again.
“Oh, come on. It helped a little.” He flashed a devilish grin.
“I’m serious, Jason. I need…There are some things I need to ask you.” I pulled myself out of his arms and wrapped myself in the sheet, hoping he’d take me seriously.
“Okay. Ask away.”
I took a deep breath and tried to ignore his flippant expression. I didn’t know how he could be so confident and nonchalant, and it only made it harder to just spit it out. But I couldn’t spend another moment by his side without knowing the truth.
“I need to know what happened with Anna.”
Finally, something deeper glinted in his eyes, but it quickly glazed over. “There’s nothing to know,” he insisted. “Beyond what you already know. She’s gone.”
“She was murdered.”
He sat straight up in alarm. “How did you…who told you?”
“It’s not like it’s a secret. In fact, it seems everybody but me knew. How could you keep something like that from me? Even as someone who was caring for your children, I had a right to know for their well-being. But when things started happening between us…I don’t see why you wouldn’t have told me, unless…”
“Unless what?” he sighed. “What have you heard?”
“Never mind what I heard!” I shouted, my heart pounding. “You tell me what happened or get out. I’ll leave tomorrow. I can’t just keep pretending like there’s not this big huge secret looming over this whole house, especially with you.”
He looked away in deep thought and finally I could see something in him break.
“I didn’t do it,” he said bluntly, his eyes filled with pain. “At least not in the way everyone thinks I did.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“I knew she was having an affair,” his words spilled out slowly. “I could see the hotel room rentals on her credit card receipts when she claimed she was going to the gym or to have dinner at her mom’s. I saw her sneaking around, whispering on the phone. I even knew who the guy was. He was a nobody, but somehow, he snaked his way into the right circles to get invites to a lot of the parties we had to attend. Everybody knew. And it was all happening right under my nose…making an idiot out of me.”
“Jason, what are you telling me?” I pulled my legs in tight to my chest, terrified of what he might confess.
“I was afraid of losing my family,” he continued, the muscles in his neck straining. “I didn’t want to lose time with the kids or millions of dollars to a divorce. It didn’t seem fair. She was the one who lied and ruined everything. Why should I have to suffer for her mistakes?”
“So…what? You snapped!?”
“God, no. I could never have hurt her. That was the worst part about it. For all the pain she caused me, I couldn’t even bring myself to confront her about what she was doing. I guess I thought maybe…if I just sucked it up long enough that it would all go away. He dug up everything he could about me and my brothers and our business. He tracked down every questionable deal we had ever made and tried to blackmail Dominic with it. He never loved her. He was only out for our money. And when we wouldn’t give it to him…”
He ran his hand across his forehead and looked away, trying to hide his welling tears. But I could hear them through the cracks of his voice.
“I received a text from an unknown number one day telling me to come to the beach house if I ever wanted to see her alive again. They had been spending a lot of time there together. It was a setup. He had already killed her and was just luring me there to frame me for the murder. It was another scheme to try and squeeze millions from us.”
“Oh my god,” I gasped, imagining what it must have been like for him to show up to save his wife, only to find her murdered. “What happened?”
“We struck a deal with him. He had played his cards right and backed us into a corner. Even if my lawyers could have proved I was innocent, the damage a murder trial would have done to me and my family, our business…it would have been impossible to recover from. So, we paid him off and let him spew off some story to the cops about an intruder breaking in. My brothers helped him clean the place up so the findings from their investigation corroborated with his story. I was left with the kids and all the rumors about what had really happened.”
He buckled under the pain of having to relive it all. I felt bad for making him do it, but I had to know. And as he explained everything, I knew he was telling the truth.
“The phone call the other night,” I said out loud as the realization hit me. “I heard you yelling at someone about the deal you made and how they were supposed to be out of your life forever…”
“It was him,” he nodded. “I knew it would happen eventually. We made it too easy for him to win the first time, and now he’s back to see what else he can get out of us. I haven’t told Jesse. He doesn’t do well with things like this. And Dominic and Eric are gone.”
“What does he want?” I rushed to his side, watching the stress in his expression build up even more.
“More money, of cours
e. That’s all he ever wanted from us. As much as what Anna did hurt me, I actually wish he had just been a good guy who really loved her. Rather than this monster who was willing to kill her to get rich. No matter what she did, I loved her. She deserved better than that.”
I laid my head on his shoulder and let it all sink in. This was bigger than I could have imagined, but it somehow made me feel closer to him. I thought because he had so much money and privilege and a beautiful shiny life on the outside, that he could never understand all of my baggage. Now it seemed we were both just damaged people trying out best to start over again.
“I didn’t think you did it,” I assured him softly. “Not really…deep down. I just needed to know for sure. I didn’t want to risk falling for another bad guy.”
“I’d never hurt you, Tara,” he said earnestly, pressing his lips to my forehead. “I couldn’t save Anna from the mistakes she made, but…maybe I can save you in a way. By trusting you not to do what she did and by giving you a better life than you had before…where you’re treated how you truly deserve to be treated…It makes me feel like things can be made right again.”
He pulled me into his arms and we quickly began drifting off to sleep. For as complicated as our lives were, in those moments it felt incredibly simple. We had found each other, and as long as we clung to that, maybe we could outrun the ghosts of our past.
27
Jason
Laying in bed with Tara felt like being in a bubble where none of our other problems could get to us. I wanted to stay there forever, but I found myself waking up at dawn, unable to stop thinking about everything that threatened this little shred of happiness I had found.
I slipped out of her bed as the room took on a blue hue from the slowly rising sun outside. She looked so beautiful and peaceful lying there on her pillow. There was a tug in my gut that told me to go back to her side and never leave, but the real world was calling. I had a busy day at work ahead of me.
I tried not to wake her, but couldn’t resist planting one last kiss to the side of her face. Once I had showered and got ready for the day, I called my driver to take me into the office. It was a gloomy day as we drove down the winding roads of tall trees that lead from my estate. Everything seemed to be cast in the same creeping dread that I was.
It was painful to bring up all of those memories with Tara. I hadn’t said any of it out loud since I first began therapy once the dust had settled. And now Anna’s murderer was back for more. I didn’t know what he might take from me this time in his never-ending quest of greed. After our call ended, part of me thought I could just pretend it never happened. But doing that with Anna in the first place is what led to her losing her life. I knew I had to do something.
We were halfway to Halstead Corporation when I attempted to call Dominic. It was noon there, so I thought I had a good chance of reaching him, but no such luck. Eric wouldn’t answer either. All of my brothers banded together to help me get rid of this guy the first time, but Jesse didn’t have the stomach for those kinds of things. If I caved in and talked to him first, I knew his anxiety about it would only make me feel worse.
On the elevator ride up to my floor, I realized that Anna breaking my heart and then being taken away for good soon after I found out made me afraid of love. Dealing with the pain of losing something like that was enough to make you never want to feel that way for anyone again.
That’s why I had become so distant with the kids. Tara had been right all along, from her first day on the job. I put them and everyone else at arm’s length, thinking it would protect me from getting hurt again. But then Tara barged in and all my walls began to crumble. Now I was right back where I started from. I had another chance at a happy life, and this monster was back with perfect timing to try and ruin everything.
I sucked in a deep breath and strolled into my office and was surprised to see Eric waiting for me. He was leaned back in my chair like he owned the place with a big satisfied grin.
“Look what the cat dragged in. What are you so happy about?”
He cringed a little “What are you so unhappy about?”
“Maybe because I’ve been trying to reach you and now you just show up like nothing happened,” I barked back. “I got stuck on that stupid meeting you set up by the way. In the future, tell your model of the week she’ll have to wait until after your scheduled meeting to get on the plane.”
“It was a solid deal I set up though, right? The returns on that one should be big.”
“It’s still to be decided,” I huffed, waiting impatiently for him to get out of my seat.
Finally, he got up and walked to the other side of the room, helping himself to champagne and orange juice from the mini fridge.
“You’re back for all of five minutes and you’re already drinking?”
He turned to face me but didn’t have his usual nonchalant expression. Normally no matter how hard of a time I gave him, he took it in stride with a calm smile. Suddenly he looked worried and maybe even a little sad.
“Jason, look…I get it. I know I haven’t been the best business partner…or even the best brother,” he announced in deep seriousness. “I don’t mean to leave you guys hanging all the time. I just have different priorities, is all.”
“Different priorities?” I scoffed. “You mean you value hot girls and lavish trips over your family and the business that our dad worked his ass off to build up?”
“That’s the thing. He built it up. We’re billionaires! He was a success! It’s hard for me to feel motivated to keep grinding away like you three do when we’ve got it made. Life is short. I’d rather be out there enjoying it with the resources we have. You should understand that better than anyone.”
My blood instantly boiled. “Yeah, life is short. But all this money doesn’t just fall from the sky. If we don’t keep this business going, you’d blow through it in no time with the way you’re always jetting off on these trips with no expense spared.”
I held off from mentioning the fact that Dominic and I actually enjoyed our jobs. It gave us purpose, routine, and an outlet for our drive and ambition. But that was a matter of pride and work ethic—something Eric could never understand.
“I know I would,” he confessed with a shrug, almost too easily. “That’s why I’ve decided to make some lifestyle changes.”
“Good. It’s about time.”
“But not in the way you think,” he added quickly, sipping his mimosa. “We can talk about it more when Dominic gets back, but…well, I want out. Not right away, but soon. I want to branch off and do my own thing. Settle down into my own business—something smaller and less stressful.”
I was speechless. On one hand, it sounded selfish and foolish. But I was so caught off guard by Eric of all people saying the words “settle down” that I didn’t know what to think.
“Hey, let’s call Jesse in,” he suggested. “You two can get me caught up on everything. We can have one of those old group work sessions like we used to. Do you remember when we’d stay up all night getting fired up about new deals? Tossing out ideas?”
It felt like a convenient way out of discussing his sudden life crisis and how it would affect all of us, but really—he was right. There was no point in discussing it until Dominic came back. Frankly, I didn’t have the energy to try and talk him down without back-up anyway.
Jesse joined us a while later and the three of us got on the same page about the company’s top priorities at that moment and caught up a little on our personal lives too. We ordered lunch and pushed back a few meetings to make the most of our time. It made the day fly by, and soon it was after three. I knew it was time to tell them that Anna’s murderer was back to see what else he could rip away from us.
But just as I was about to broach the subject, my phone rang. My heart dropped as I answered and realized I had, once again, waited too long to face the problem.
28
Tara
Margo stood at the kitchen counter flipping
through a magazine as I threw together a tray of snacks for the kids. As I arranged little slices of ham and cheese, my cheeks grew hot just thinking of the night before with Jason.
There was the passionate, animalistic sex that came when we were still trying to avoid everything that needed to be said. But in the middle of the night, I woke up to the warm feeling of his hands kneading into my body. It stirred a renewed longing in me enough to lure me out of sleep entirely.
It was more than just lust. With the air cleared around what really happened with Anna’s murder, there was nothing keeping us a part. We lost ourselves in each other’s bodies and it felt like we were really making love. My heart was skipping with hope that whatever was going on between us could be something real…something more than just a scandalous affair.
“Oooh, what’s that smile for?” Margo teased. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you must have a crush on someone.”
I nearly cut myself with the knife, not realizing she had been watching me grinning like an idiot as I got lost in my own thoughts.
“Maybe,” I shrugged.
“What!?” she shrieked. “Who!? You have to tell me everything! Where did you meet him? That’s the hardest part of this nannying gig. It’s nearly impossible to get away long enough to have a thing with anyone.”
She bounded over and leaned across the counter, staring at me with wide expectant eyes. I didn’t know what to say. I did want to set the record straight about Jason not being the one who murdered his wife. That would be a good thing to get into the gossip circuit regardless of what happened with me. But now it’d be impossible to do without also divulging the details of our relationship.