Truth About Men & Dogs

by Andrea Simonne

  Then I checked on my birds.

  “Hi, sweeties,” I said, going over to them. Happily, they both looked relaxed and weren’t huddling together anymore.

  “Kiss, kiss,” squawked Calico Jack.

  “I bet you’re hungry. I’ll be right back with dinner.” I went into the kitchen to make a plate of food for them—steamed veggies and grains with some fruit on the side.

  I hummed to myself as I prepared their meal. It was crazy late. I should have been exhausted, especially after the night I’d just had. Instead I felt like dancing.

  I went back and opened the cage door, setting the plate on the bottom. Both birds hopped down for their meal. I sat nearby and watched them eat, relieved they weren’t stressed anymore. When they were done, Calico Jack came to the open door, and I put my hand out for him to step up.

  We sat together as I gently stroked his green feathers. “Guess what?” I whispered to him. “I met a guy.”

  His small dark eyes appeared to contemplate me. Apparently he was as confused as I was about what to do with this.

  “I didn’t like him at first,” I admitted, “but it turns out he’s okay. He’s even related to a pirate.”

  Calico ruffled his feathers.

  “Don’t worry, nothing romantic is going to happen. I’m miles from being ready for that.”

  He cocked his head to the side.

  “But maybe someday,” I murmured, still stroking him. “Maybe someday I will be ready.”

  I woke up the next morning to the sound of my phone buzzing with a text from Violet. This was strange for a number of reasons. First of all, Violet never texted anyone as far I knew. In fact, I was surprised she even knew how to send one. Second of all was the message itself.

  Violet: Your presence is requested at the house for breakfast.

  It was Sunday. The unspoken rule around here was that I never went to the house on Sundays because that was the day Ivy and Ethan came over.

  I stared at my phone and knew this was about last night. It had to be. There was no way I wanted to deal with that right now.

  Me: I’m sorry, but I’ll have to decline.

  Violet: Do you have company? If so, you may bring your guest.

  My eyes widened. Seriously? I checked the time. It was barely eight o’clock. If I had “company,” it could only be of the male variety. I was immediately suspicious. It wasn’t like Violet to be so modern.

  I put my phone down on the bed. Ivy had obviously called her mom, most likely ranting and raving about me. She also apparently told her I had a boyfriend.

  Crap.

  Philip was right. Total clusterfuck.

  I rolled onto my side, hugging my pillow, as I thought about him on my porch last night. That tingle of excitement was still there. I smiled, because it was real. The first sign of a thaw.

  My phone buzzed again.

  Violet: I’ll expect you and your guest in thirty minutes.

  I closed my eyes. She’d always been pushy, and I knew if I didn’t go up to the house, she’d start calling and probably show up down here.

  I sighed and got out of bed. Might as well get it over with. If Ivy and Ethan started in on me though, I was leaving immediately. Not bothering with a shower, I threw on a green hoodie and jean shorts, then pulled my hair into a messy bun. After giving my birds some fresh pellets for their breakfast, I trudged up to the house.

  It was an overcast morning, and the woods smelled like damp earth. Things were quiet outside as I braced myself for the battle ahead. The only sound came from my flip-flops against the dirt and gravel road.

  To my surprise, there was no sign of Ivy’s red BMW out front, and when I entered the dining room, only Violet and Daphne were at the table.

  “Good morning,” Daphne said in her soft voice.

  “Good morning,” I murmured in return, relieved that Ivy and Ethan weren’t here.

  Violet, who was reading the paper, looked up over her glasses. She didn’t say anything at first, merely studied me. “Are you alone?” she asked finally.

  I made a show of peering to my left and right. “Gosh, it sure looks that way.”

  She frowned. “I thought you might have brought your boyfriend with you.”

  “Nope.”

  She continued to frown, and it was obvious she was waiting for me to elaborate.

  I’d always heard if you were going to lie, it was best to say as little as possible, so I ignored her frown and went over to the breakfast buffet to pour myself a mug of coffee.

  Violet was still quietly assessing me when I sat down at the table. “Did he stay with you last night?”

  I slowly stirred cream into my mug. “That’s none of your business.”

  “As a matter of fact, it is my business.” She put her newspaper down. “This is my house and property, and I expect to know what’s going on within its bounds.”

  I took a sip of coffee and smacked my lips loudly. “It’s half mine too.”

  Her frown deepened. I could tell she wasn’t enjoying my attitude, but I really didn’t care.

  “Yes, of course it’s half yours.” She took off her reading glasses. “What’s going on here, Claire? I’ve always thought we were close.”

  Close? This was news to me. I’d never considered us close, but in her own formal way, Violet probably did think we were.

  Her expression turned incredulous. “I could barely believe my ears when Ivy called me this morning and told me you had a boyfriend. A boyfriend that none of us have ever even met!”

  “I’ve met him,” Daphne piped up.

  Violet turned to her with raised brows. “You have?”

  Daphne nodded with enthusiasm. “I’ve met Claire’s boyfriend, Philip, a couple of times now.”

  I stared at Daphne in amazement. She knew Philip wasn’t my boyfriend.

  “He’s super nice,” Daphne continued. “And very handsome.”

  Violet appeared too stunned to speak. “Is that so?” she finally said. “Well, I’m surprised you never mentioned this.”

  Daphne shrugged. “He’s Doug’s cousin, and I figured Claire would tell you about him when she was ready.” She smiled and gave me a conspiratorial look. I didn’t know why she was doing this, but I returned her smile.

  “Doug’s cousin?” Violet leaned back in her chair. She seemed relieved for some reason. “Are you certain? That’s not how Ivy described him.”

  “What did Ivy say?” I had to admit, I was curious how she would have described Philip to her mother.

  Violet waved her hand. “It doesn’t matter.” She looked at me again. “I’m disappointed you didn’t share this with me. I consider you my daughter as much as Ivy and Daphne, and I’d like to meet this young man of yours.”

  I’d been fiddling with my coffee mug but froze at her words. Meet him?

  I shrugged. “Sure, whatever.” There was no way I could ask Philip to come here and pretend to be my boyfriend again. That would be too humiliating. “So where are Ivy and Ethan this morning?” I picked up my coffee, purposefully changing the subject. “I assume you heard what happened last night.”

  Violet didn’t reply, pursing her lips. The pink color on them seemed too garish for her pale skin. She was only in her early sixties, but the lines around her eyes and mouth had deepened of late. When my father was alive, she used to get Botox and facial fillers and always looked younger than her age, but once he passed away, she stopped all that.

  “You girls and all this ridiculous business with Ethan.” She sounded annoyed, and her southern accent grew stronger. “How that boy can invoke such passion, I’ll never understand.”

  “The only passion he invokes in me is the negative kind,” I told her. “I want nothing to do with him.”

  “Then why, may I ask, was he at your house last night?”

  “I have no idea. He let himself in without my knowledge and then drank a bottle of wine.” It was obvious he and Ivy had been fighting, but I figured there was no point going into t
hat.

  Violet considered my words. I got the sense she thought I wasn’t being truthful. Not only was Ivy a beauty who could get any man she wanted, but she was also her real daughter, so naturally, Violet would take her side in anything to do with Ethan.

  “Poor Claire.” She leaned toward me. “You’ve been through so much. I worry for you. You aren’t still hoping for a reconciliation with him, are you?”

  I gripped my mug in frustration. I hated being called “poor Claire.” And no matter how many times I told them I wasn’t in love with Ethan anymore, they didn’t believe me. What was I supposed to do? File a restraining order against him just to shut them up? I could only imagine the fuss Ivy would make. She and Violet would probably turn it around on me, claiming I did it for the attention.

  “Look, I have a boyfriend,” I said emphatically. “I’ve moved on. In fact, we’re crazy about each other.” I threw in Philip’s words.

  “I want to believe that, Claire. I truly do.”

  Somehow Violet couldn’t see how insulting all this was. It was like she thought I couldn’t possibly do any better than Ethan, that my marriage to him was the pinnacle of my life.

  Daphne put her glass of water down and spoke up with enthusiasm. “Oh, I could definitely see how crazy you and Philip are about each other. You guys seemed totally in love.”

  She smiled at me, and I forced myself to smile back. I knew she was only trying to be helpful, but saying we were in love was a little more than I intended.

  Violet’s brows went up. “Is that right? Well, then I’m happy for you. Maybe this whole thing with Ethan really is a misunderstanding.” She shook her head and sighed. “I don’t know what’s gotten into him lately.”

  “I guess karma is a bitch,” I muttered into my coffee. A bitch named Ivy.

  “What’s that?” She gave me a sharp look.

  “Nothing.” I smiled sweetly. “I said this coffee is rich.”

  Her gaze drifted down to my body. “Maybe you should add less cream next time.” She leaned closer, and her voice took on a confiding tone. “Men don’t like it when women are too… plump.”

  I ground my teeth together, trying to ignore her insult. I’m better than this, I reminded myself. At least I knew she was critical with Ivy and Daphne too.

  “Now, let’s see.” Violet tapped her bottom lip. She appeared to be deep in thought. “We’ll need to invite this Philip of yours over for dinner soon. Is he very much like Doug? I’m curious to meet him.”

  I shifted in my chair. “Well, actually, he lives in Seattle, so it might be a while before he can make it for dinner.”

  “Seattle? How did you two meet each other?”

  “He’s been here helping finish my new room.”

  “Oh, he works for Doug?” Violet picked up her spoon to stir her tea. “I didn’t realize Doug had employees.”

  I opened my mouth to explain that Philip wasn’t Doug’s employee. In fact, I doubted he was being paid to help him at all.

  “That reminds me,” Daphne said to her mother in a light tone. “I’ll be taking the ferry to Seattle on Tuesday. I might be gone for a few days.”

  “What’s this?” Violet paused with her teacup in midair. “Why on earth would you be going to Seattle? And for a few days?”

  “Oh, it’s just work. I’m helping one of Claire’s customers sell her house there.” Daphne’s demeanor was casual, though she gave me a quick glance.

  I had no idea what she was talking about.

  “How strange,” Violet said, putting her teacup down. “You’ve never done that before.”

  “I know, but Claire asked me if I could help. Her customer is elderly and didn’t know where else to find a realtor.” Daphne turned to me. “Isn’t that right?”

  I nodded, catching on now. So this was the reason Daphne had been so willing to go along with my fake boyfriend.

  “Um… yes. That’s right,” I said, leaning forward. “My customer Mrs. Lamb has an older brick home in Seattle that she’s desperate to sell. It’s a four bedroom house with hardwood floors, a nice set of windows—and a good-looking roof.” I chuckled at my little joke. “In fact, that house is a real hottie.”

  Both Daphne and Violet stared at me. Neither of them had a sense of humor.

  “Mrs. Lamb used to teach history,” I added for no reason except I thought it was awesome.

  Violet ignored me and turned toward Daphne again. “Exactly how long do you plan to be gone? Where will you be staying?”

  Daphne answered all her mother’s questions in her usual mild-mannered way. It struck me how we were both grown women, yet Violet managed to turn us into a couple of teenagers.

  When I announced I was headed back to the carriage house, it was no surprise when Daphne said she’d walk down there with me.

  “Why are you really going to Seattle?” I asked once we were outside. I had to admit I was curious. I’d never seen Daphne lie so boldly.

  “I’m going to help Doug and his mother put her house on the market and find her a new place to live.”

  “Why not just tell your mom the truth?”

  “Oh.” Daphne grew quiet. “I know she’d disapprove. She’d say I was interfering.”

  “That’s silly. I’m sure they’ll be glad for your help.” I turned to her. “And thank you for backing me up with Violet in there. You seem to be the only one who understands I’m not hung up on Ethan.”

  Daphne stopped walking. We were halfway down the driveway. “Listen, Claire, I wanted to ask you something.” Her face grew serious. “Are you… do you have any interest in Doug?”

  “Doug? No, not at all. You know I don’t date.”

  “I know that,” she said quickly. “But I wondered because you agreed to go to the movies with him.”

  That familiar pang of guilt arose. “To be honest, I really didn’t want to go. He asked me in a way that I couldn’t say no.”

  She remained silent.

  “When I see him again, I plan to straighten things out. I just didn’t want to hurt his feelings.”

  “So you don’t have any problem with me going to Seattle to help him and his mom?”

  “Not at all.” And that’s when a lightbulb finally lit up in my head. “Are you interested in Doug?”

  She bit her lip and gave me a shy smile. With her dark blue eyes, dusting of freckles across her nose and cheeks, and strawberry blonde hair, Daphne was strikingly pretty. “He seems like such a nice guy, don’t you think?” She giggled. “And he’s sort of great-looking too.”

  I could see now why she’d lied to her mom. Violet would never approve of her dating Doug.

  “Does he share your feelings?”

  She sighed. “No, I don’t think he’s interested in me that way.”

  “Well, maybe he will be after you spend more time with him.”

  She perked up a little. “Do you think so?”

  “I do.” Doug should be thrilled by Daphne’s interest. “He just needs to get to know you better. He’d be lucky to have someone like you.”

  A couple hours later, I was in front of the house, cleaning Quicksilver and Calico Jack’s large cage. I kept trying to figure out what Ivy meant last night when she said I’d started the problems between the two of us and that she’d never forgive me.

  Forgive me for what? What betrayal? If anybody should be begging for forgiveness, it was her. It made no sense.

  My thoughts were interrupted when a familiar silver SUV came rolling down the driveway. Nervous excitement shot through me until I realized I was dressed in grungy clothes and covered in bird poop.

  I nearly ran inside the house, then noticed Eliza was driving the car, and she appeared to be alone. She waved at me through the windshield before parking behind my Kia.

  “Happy Sunday,” she called out, walking over in her jaunty way. Her dark hair was pulled into its usual topknot. She wore a striped T-shirt and flowered shorts that emphasized her lanky frame. Stripes and flowers seemed an incongruous
match, but somehow she made it work.

  “Hi, Eliza.” I turned off the hose I’d been using to rinse out the cage. “How’s it going?”

  She grinned, pushing her giant sunglasses on top of her head. “Philip told me about your pirate birds and how one of them is named after Quicksilver! I just had to meet them.”

  I laughed. “Well, I’m cleaning out their cage right now.”

  “Really? Can I help?” She looked around at my cleaning supplies.

  “I’m almost done, but you can help me dry it if you want. Just give me a second.”

  I finished hosing away the rest of the soap, and soon Eliza and I were busy drying the large cage with a pile of cleaning cloths from Your House Sparkles.

  She took on the task with great exuberance, her topknot bouncing vigorously. I suspected it was the way she approached everything in life.

  “Did I tell you my mom and I are both staying for the rest of the summer?” she asked.

  “You are?”

  She nodded. “My mom’s writing a cozy mystery novel—isn’t that too cool? She retired from teaching recently and has been trying to decide what she wants to do next. It turns out she’s always wanted to write.”

  “That is cool,” I agreed.

  “And remember that play I told you I was trying out for? Well, I got the part!”

  “Wow, that’s wonderful. Congratulations.”

  “Thank you. I’m really excited. This is my first time working with a professional theater.” She smiled sheepishly. “I have to admit, I’m nervous.”

  “I’m sure you’ll be great. Obviously they saw something in you. Just remember, stay positive even when you don’t feel it.” It was a motivational quote from one of the many sticky notes I had plastered all over my house.

  “I’m trying to, believe me. Unfortunately, my brother is being a total freak about it.” She huffed in frustration. “I wish he’d just chill.”

  I felt a surge of excitement at the mere mention of Philip. “What do you mean?”

  “I’m taking fall semester off from school so I can be in the play, and he’s having a conniption.”

  I reached for a fresh cloth to dry the top of the cage.