Straight No Chaser- The Beginning

by Devin Nishea

  I walked around the house until I found a box to put his things in. Man, as I was gathering his things I was thinking to myself, “man, I hope I don’t break down again.”

  Thank God I didn’t! I put his box of things by the door, which, to my surprise, wasn’t much. He stayed at my place at least three times each week. I wasn’t ready to talk to or to see him yet. So, I taped the box up. I would drop it by the post office tomorrow on my way to work.

  Before going back to my cleaning, I made a cup of coffee in my favorite mug, sat at the bar in the kitchen and enjoyed the quietness of my morning. After two cups of coffee and watching my neighborhood doing some sort of exercise, I decided to get my butt up and get back to running today. After not running for a few days I knew it was going to be a tough run.

  I went back to my room and changed into my running tights, made sure I put on deodorant, put on my Brooks and off I went.

  Finishing up my run back to my house, I noticed a car in my driveway. I slowed up a little and braced myself for some potential foolishness. The closer I got, I saw it was my parents. “Great,” I said out loud. I was not in the mood yet to deal with my mom. I hadn’t gotten my story together yet on why I avoided her calls. And I’m sure she was going to have something to say about my not going to church. I ran into the driveway and saw they were still sitting in the car with the windows down and gospel music playing.

  I ran to the car out of breath and said, “Hey y’all what you doing here?” Bending over trying to catch my breath.

  My mama said, “Hey! Where are you coming from? Looks like you’ve been running. Been to church today?” Yep. She said that all in one breath!

  As I sighed, “Y’all come on inside.” I was trying to get myself together quickly for my mama. She has the tendency to be a bit much at times. I unlocked the door and, as we walked in, I was beyond glad I cleaned the house or else that would be something else for mama to nag me about. They sat down; my dad still hadn’t really said anything other than ‘hey’. I was still trying to stretch.

  “Y’all want something to drink?” I asked.

  “Nah, I have dinner at the house. We hadn’t heard from you all week. I’ve called several times,” my mama probed.

  “Mama, I’ve been busy with work all week. I was working on a deadline,” I stuttered.

  “I told you she was probably busy with work,” my dad interjected.

  “Oh ok. Well are you cooking today?” she asked as she was walking about the house being nosey.

  Then she spotted the box by the door. Oh hell, Jake’s box! Welp, no escaping it now.

  “What’s that box at the door?” she asked.

  “Nothing mama. So what have y’all been up to this week?” I quickly changed the subject.

  My dad spoke up, and said, “I’ve done nothing all week really, went to visit some people in the hospital. I cooked dinner the other night.”

  My mom interrupted, “Yep, he cooked fish & hushpuppies. It was good. I tried to call you over. Everybody was asking about you.”

  “Oh really, like who?” I asked with a deep sigh.

  “Well, you didn’t answer your phone so it doesn’t really matter now, does it?” she said sarcastically.

  I looked at my dad and we both shook our heads.

  Then the other line of questioning started. I knew it.

  “So, where’s Jake?” mama asked.

  I didn’t know if I would make it through. “Um, not sure about today, but we may get up with each other later.” I said. I tried not to make eye contact with her.

  “What do you mean you don’t know where he is, you’re supposed to know!” she looked suspicious.

  “Ma, it’s ok. So, what did you cook for dinner?” I asked. The house phone rang as soon as I asked, thank GOD!

  “Hello? Oh hey, I’m well how are you? Yes…ok…ok…ok that sounds good, just give me a call on your way. Ok, it was good to hear from you too. Ok, bye-bye,” I ended the conversation.

  I returned to the living room with my parents. My mom said, “Ok, well, we’re getting ready to go home.”

  “Ok, thanks for stopping by to check on me,” I said.

  “Mmmmhmmm, you’re welcome, baby. Well, we’ll see ya later,” my mom said.

  I walked them to the car, hugged them and saw them on their way. I stayed outside until the car was out of site.

  I walked back into the house to finish cleaning up and to find something to eat. After my run I was starving! I walked into the kitchen and started to nibble on last night’s dessert.

  I didn’t eat all of it because I wanted to save some for later and I’m glad I did! As I was nibbling, I was thinking back to my mama’s line of questioning. Lord knows I love my mama, but sometimes, she is a bit much. Had the phone not rang, I’m sure she would’ve started asking me about when Jake and I were going to get married. Ugh!

  I walked into my room, A.K.A. the war room, and the light of day exposed the state I had been in all week. Clothes were everywhere; an empty bottle of wine was on the nightstand, a whiskey glass, uneaten popcorn. I don’t make it a habit of eating in my bedroom, but this week was the exception to the rule. Candy wrappers were everywhere, Coke Zero bottles, yeah I was in bad shape. I turned my gospel music on full blast and stripped my bed, washed my depressed sheets and towels, cleaned my bathroom, washed clothes and put the things I bought the day before away.

  After I showered and dressed, my starvation level was at the max. So, the mission was to get to somebody’s brunch and bottomless mimosas immediately. I called my girl Amy to tag along, but she had already eaten. Everybody I called had eaten.

  I grabbed a book and went by myself. Since it was nice outside I sat outside on the patio to enjoy the view of the lake and read my book.

  As I was enjoying the view of the lake and watching the boats cruise slowly as they docked, I reflected on how blessed my life was. I smiled as I took a deep breath to take in the fresh air.

  I scanned the patrons and everyone looked like they were having the greatest day and they had no problems, no drama in their lives. But I knew better than anyone that right under the surface is where all the drama occurs.

  I enjoyed my food, mimosas and book. After reading and people-watching I needed to leave and get to my next stop, which I hadn’t figured out yet.

  As I was leaving I looked closer towards the water and saw the same guy I bumped into while shopping. I smiled and left immediately.

  Chapter 4

  “Okay, guys, great job on the Holly Fields account. So far they are impressed by our work and attention to their account,” I told my team on our daily conference call.

  “Zen, are they looking into a holiday campaign? If so, we may need to go ahead and get some ideas down and ready to present,” Bob said.

  “Yes, Bob, that was actually next on the agenda to talk about. The holidays are not that far away but, yet, around the corner. You guys get together, start your brainstorming process and we’ll reconvene,” I told them.

  I ended the call the way I always do, “alright guys go out there and make it happen. Thank you so much for your hard work on this account. Things are really starting to look up for our new business side. Make it great day,” as I disconnected from the conference call.

  It had been a month since my mini-breakdown and I was finally starting to feel like myself again, thank God. I was paying better attention to the words coming out of my mouth and how could I forget about my appearance? My game had stepped back up! I knew it would take some time but dang, I didn’t know it would take that long! I was in a good place, still missed Jake, but in a good place. I still hadn’t called him, which was great. After I mailed him his things, he tried to reach out to me but I never answered his calls and, eventually the calls stopped.

  “Zen, you have a visitor here to see you; would you like for me to send them in,” my assistant said.

  I looked at her with a side eye and said, “Umm, did I overlook a meeting today or someone’s popping u
p?” I asked.

  She came inside my office and closed the door, which made me a little nervous. My first thought was, “Awe hell, what?”

  Although I hadn’t shared with anyone about my break up, she knew something was up. Jake and I met for lunch weekly and I took that off my calendar and she hadn’t seen him so I knew she knew.

  She walked closer to my desk and said hesitantly, “Jake’s here.”

  The sound of his name made me stop cold in my tracks. I completely lost my train of thought and stared at her, my eyes like daggers.

  “Oh really?” I asked trying to get myself together. “Tell him I’m busy and I’ll have to call him later.” I told her.

  “I’ve already done that, but he insists on waiting until you finish what you’re doing.” she said.

  “Shit,” I said. “Welp, tell him again, I’m busy and I don’t know how long I’m going to be because I’m swamped.” I demanded.

  She let out a deep sigh and said, “Ok.” She disappeared behind the closed door to deliver the news.

  I thought to myself, “What the ham does he want? I can NOT with him today. The nerve of him...” My thoughts were cut off by picking up the phone.

  The phone rang and before the person on the other end could say anything, I interjected.

  “Can you believe this fool stopped by my office unannounced a few minutes ago!?” I yelled. “Unannounced! What is wrong with him?” I asked.

  “Zen, calm down girl. Take a breath and step away from the ledge.” Amy urged.

  I did what she instructed.

  She let out this little laugh, “Hmph, so he stopped by? What did he say?” she asked.

  “He didn’t say anything. I told my assistant to tell him I was going to be tied up all day.” I told her. “Girl, I’m not ready to see or talk to him yet. I was doing good until this; I bet he came by here unannounced on purpose just to piss me off!” I exclaimed.

  “Zen, we don’t know that. But if he did want to piss you off, he kinda succeeded,” Amy pointed out.

  “Why don’t you see what he wants, didn’t you say he called you last month?” Amy asked.

  “Yep.” I said abruptly.

  “Well honey, maybe he wants to try to work things out.” Amy said slowly.

  “Amy, there’s no working anything out right now. He tells me he was pretty much cheating on me for a year, left me to be with her; girl NO!” I said.

  “I understand but I do think you should reach out to him to see what he wants. Maybe not today, but sometime soon.” she said.

  “Hmph, we’ll see.” I said and hung up the phone.

  I buzzed my assistant back into my office.

  “Have a seat Sarah. Okay, I need you to listen to me carefully. Let me preface this by saying you did nothing wrong. But, if Jake comes by or calls, you are to tell him I am either not here or tied up. He is not to come into my office for any reason. If he needs to leave something for me he can do so with you. If I am roaming the office and he’s here, text me to let me know when he leaves. This goes unless I tell you otherwise,” I said sternly.

  I hated putting her in the middle of this drama, but it was necessary at the moment and I didn’t see any other way out.

  “Yes ma’am,” Sarah said with a shaking voice. “Umm, can I assume you two are no longer?” she asked.

  “Bold of you to ask, but, yes, you can assume that.” I responded.

  “Ok, well he did leave some very pretty flowers for you; I’ll bring them in.” she said.

  Before I had the chance to say anything she had disappeared into the lobby. She came back in with a bouquet of my favorite flowers; white roses and Cala Lilies.

  I cleared my throat, “Thanks…you can sit them wherever.”

  As I was sitting there admiring the flowers I almost shed a tear thinking about the good times.

  “Ok, there ya go, Zen, did you need me for anything else? If not I’ll leave you be.” she said.

  I shook my head and she disappeared again behind the door. I stared at the flowers until my trance was broken. I got up to admire the flowers closer. I saw there was a card and I grabbed it, sat on the desk to read it.

  Zen…I think about you every day.

  I miss you, I miss us.

  Love always,

  Jake

  You miss me? You miss us!? Dude, puhleeze. You had me in your space and you decided to stray away because you thought the grass was greener somewhere else. I took the flowers to Sarah and told her she could have them, placed them on her desk and went back into my office for rest of the day, uninterrupted. I kept the card.

  After the day I had, I couldn’t wait to get home and unwind. So I wouldn’t lag behind, as soon as I got home I changed into my running tights, laced up my Brooks and I ran…and ran…and ran until I couldn’t run anymore. I kinda felt like Forest Gump. Running normally cleared my head and it did just that tonight.

  After I got back home I stretched in the drive way and jumped some rope before I called it a night with my workout. I showered and cooked a healthy dinner; salmon and asparagus and it was oh so good after the workout I had. As I was eating dinner and watching TV, my doorbell rang. I looked at my phone to see what time it was; 8:24pm, then I glanced back at my door. I wasn’t expecting anyone to stop by and I hated unannounced visitors. I couldn’t not answer the door because whoever it was saw my lights were on. The doorbell rang again, now for the third or fourth time. I decided to ignore it. If someone called me out about it, I decided I was going to tell them I was in the shower or something. The doorbell stopped ringing and I heard the car door shut, the car started up again. I looked at my phone waiting for it to ring and nothing. I waited for a text and nothing. Now I was curious to know who it was. I didn’t want to risk the chance of opening the door and it being Jake. I still wasn’t ready. After eating and watching TV I decided to call Amy and report what happened earlier.

  The phone rang and rang then went to voicemail. Funny that rarely happens. I’ll just catch up with her later.

  I rifled through my purse and pulled out the card Jake left with the flowers. I read it again.

  As crazy as it sounds, to read the card hurt but it also made me feel closer to him somehow. And I missed him, too. I looked at the card until I drifted off to sleep.

  Chapter 5

  “Hello?” I answered.

  “Hi, may I speak to Xenia,” the male voice inquired. I know this was someone I hardly ever spoke with. No one called me by my real name.

  “Umm, yes, speaking. Who’s calling, please?” I asked.

  “Oh, yeah, this is Robert, Amy’s friend. She passed me your number. Please tell me she let you know I was going to call?” he asked.

  I let out a deep sigh, “Yes, she did let me know. Um, how are you?”

  “Oh, good, this is already a bit awkward enough,” he confirmed. Awkward it was.

  After recovering from the break up, Amy took it upon herself to try and set me up with someone to get me out of the house again.

  “Yep, it sure is and I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks so,” I answered. To answer your question, I’m fine,” I said.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t ask, but are you busy, is this a good time?” he asked.

  This was a great out for me but before I could say I was busy, my mouth opened and said, “Oh no, no this a great time.”

  FACE PALM! Oh, Zen, get it together, girl.

  “By the way, everyone calls me Zen,” I told him.

  “Well, Zen, nice to meet your acquaintance, although over the phone,” he laughed.

  A little corny, but that was cool because I’m corny too.

  Robert and I talked for about an hour, getting to know each other. I couldn’t help but feel like we were on an interview. Everything seemed so formal. But we decided to meet for coffee Saturday morning at the local coffee shop on the other side of town. I didn’t want to meet anywhere close to my house, just in case. You can never be too careful. I’m sure he was thinking the
same.

  As soon as we hung up, I called Amy to give her a little piece of my mind.

  As soon as she answered the phone she says, “So how’d the conversation go?”

  I rolled my eyes at the phone and answered, “Thanks for the heads up chick! He caught me totally off guard.”

  “Yeah, I told you I was going to give him your number,” she said.

  “Yeah, but you didn’t tell me when so I could prep myself for his phone call,” I replied.

  “Okay, well, whatever… what did you think of Robert?” Amy probed.

  “He seemed okay, but we’re meeting at Black Bean Saturday for coffee,” I told her.

  “Black Bean? That’s across town, why so far?” she asked.

  “Well, we don’t know each other, so I didn’t want to choose a place close to the house in case he’s a little crazy,” I said laughingly.

  “Understood. Well, I can assure you he’s not crazy. Well, I hope it works out, but if not it’s cool, he’s just one cool person that you’ve met so far. And you need to get out there and mingle my dear,” she said.

  “Yeah I know, but I hate starting over, Amy,” I said.

  “I know it sucks, but, girl, dating is a numbers game and the quicker you get through the duds, the quicker you can get to Mr. Right. Right!? So, pep up, Pippy. You’ll be okay. You just needed a nudge,” she said laughing.

  I knew she was right and it had been months since Jake and I had broken up so I “womaned up” and took that step forward.

  Saturday morning came way too quickly. I had some time before meeting Robert, so I decided to go for a run. I got in a few miles then got ready to leave the house for my coffee “date.”

  I pulled up to Black Bean early and hyped myself up before getting out of the car. I looked in my mirror to make sure my make-up was okay, retouched my favorite lipstick and off I went. Although this was a casual thing, I still wanted to look my absolute best. So, of course, I pulled out my heels, pair of boyfriend jeans and oversized button down. I looked good, I felt good.